It took all night to stabilize Mia. Lilly and I bustled around the healer’s tent, struggling to keep her alive. Fourteen stitches lined her chest, and it’s a miracle she didn’t lose too much blood. I didn't have the opportunity to ask Jules how she got here and who she was with. I was too busy helping gather supplies and create antibacterial salves for Mia's wound care. Scavengers that had long-term exposure to the toxic water supply were more susceptible to infection. It affected their immune system, and they couldn't fight off normal sicknesses like others.

After six hours of stabilizing Mia, Lilly sent me outside to replenish her supply of herbs. Outside near the creek, I was digging up a root needed for pain relief when Patrick came up behind me with food. "You need to eat," he said while thrusting a bag of fruit my way. My stomach was too twisted with anxiety, but instead of refusing him, I took it from his outstretched hands then stood and dusted the dirt off of my skin.

"Thanks," I replied. I wondered if he would want to talk about what happened. Would he be mad that I ran to his rescue? Would he be relieved that I still cared? Worried that I was so reckless?

"I'm not going to scold you for running to danger," he answered my unspoken thoughts. "I stopped making decisions for you when I saw how hurt you were that we removed your choice in Ethros." He bent over and efficiently helped dig up the rest of the root I needed before continuing. "Especially now that you're getting fighting lessons from Hux, I don't wanna piss you off." He chuckled while pulling the root up and standing.

The morning air felt electric. Bugs that lived in the glowing trees of the Deadlands were alive and buzzing, sticking to my sweaty neck. I felt more alive too.

I smiled at his joke. Despite the exhaustion I felt, Patrick's lighthearted nature still managed to make me happy. "I could totally kick your ass," I choked out, willing this conversation to be normal. I was determined to try, not just because Huxley was threatening to stop our fighting lessons. I wanted to reconnect with them all. Maybe I was finally done with being numb? I was willing to risk being devastated again because at the end of the tunnel was hope.

"But I will say," Patrick began, taking a step closer and placing his fingers beneath my chin and lifting my gaze up, "I'm flattered that you were worried about me, but I'd rather have you safe. I'll always pick your safety over mine." That was the problem, wasn't it? I was in love with men all wanting to jump in front of danger for me. I was a Walker, I was used to having my decisions taken from me, but I didn't want that now. They couldn’t tease me with freedom then steal it back when it was convenient for them.

"Even now? Even after five months of..." of my mourning. Of my distancing myself. Of giving into my hurt and grief and letting myself fall into the pit of self-loathing and denial.

"There's no amount of time or distance that'll separate us," he replied, his tone earnest and deep. "This is unconditional, sweetie. I even love the parts of you that you think are hard to love." Patrick leaned forward and placed his lips against mine. I was covered in dirt, sweat, and grime. I was sure my curly hair was a mass of tangles, and Mia's blood covered my dress. But all I could think of was how good his lips felt. He didn't push too far, probably worried that I'd sink away again, but still, I found myself craving his contact. He threaded his fingers through my hair, getting caught on various tangles, then he smiled against me.

"I should bring you a comb," he chuckled, pulling away.

"Thank you for waiting," I whispered back. I knew that we weren't where we were, not even close. I knew that the new normal would take a while to get used to. Hell, I wasn't even used to the old normal before it was stolen from me. But I would try. My guys were worth trying for.

Patrick walked me back to the medic tent, and we held hands. He was practically glowing with excitement as we moved, but there was an edge of uncertainty to his walk. I worried that I'd ruined his confidence with my distance, and resolved to remedy that immediately.

"Try not to kill Jules," he said with a kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to go and get some sleep before patrol again tonight."

He turned to leave, but I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Sweet dreams, Patrick," I whispered into his back as he stroked the tops of my hands. After a moment, I reluctantly let him go and entered the crowded medic tent.

Although Lilly and I were able to stitch up Mia's stab wound and make sure that no vital organs were punctured, it was her fever that had us worried.

The Scavenger medic tent was already small, barely big enough for Lilly and me to shuffle about. But with Huxley, Kemper, Jules, and Aarav all fussing over Mia, I sensed that it was only a matter of time before Lilly snapped.

"Hovering over her won't help her heal faster. She needs to rest," she scolded, swatting at Huxley who was thumbing a vial of rosemary. "The only person who should be here is Agrio, and even she gets on my nerves. Out with you." The guys left with small frowns, Huxley and Kemper pausing to kiss me on the cheek goodbye, but Jules remained. I wondered when she and Mia became so close. Thinking back to their petty rivalry back in Dormas, I'd never imagined that they would become friends. But five months was a long time, and disaster breeds companionship. Fear makes you cling to people you normally wouldn’t. We all just want to feel like we belong. Like we’re safe. Lilly was getting tired of her hovering though. Jules might have grown more compassionate towards the Scavengers, but she was still the same old ray of critical sunshine I'd come to accept.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing? What is that stuff anyway?" she asked Lilly as I made quick work of getting set up at the lab table and grinding the Kava root I just collected into a wooden bowl. It was commonly used for pain but also could be used to fight an infection.

"It'll help fight off the pain and help fight off the infection," I answered.

"Keep asking questions, and I'll have Aarav remove you from my tent, Malakas," Lilly sneered.

"Paliá trelí gynaíka," Jules responded with equal venom, causing Lilly's eyebrows to shoot up in shock. "I can insult people in the native Scavenger tongue too. Worry more about Mia and less about what I’m doing, and we’ll be good." Jules threw Lilly a self-satisfied smirk. I wanted to urge Jules not to tempt Lilly. She'd openly described how she poisoned her deceased husband when she caught him with another woman. Lilly was not someone you wanted to mess with.

"Just stay out of my way. She won't get any better if I have to spend time maneuvering around you," Lilly finally said. Jules tapped her foot against the floor of the tent, crossing her arms over her chest to stare at Mia before moving to a nearby chair.

After a while, Lilly ventured back into the meadow to collect more Kava root as well as another leaf I'd never heard of. My plant identifying skills were basic, and Lilly somehow always managed to find the rare medicinal herbs with ease.

Mia let out a moan, and Jules quickly grabbed a cloth to wipe her brow. "That pain relieving root doesn't seem to be working," she murmured, teeth clenched.

"It's not foolproof, unfortunately. We need a real clinic. A healing pod. They don't have the same technology as Dormas, but they make do." I was pretty impressed with how the Scavengers managed to survive. Despite every disadvantage, the Scavengers still persevered. Little to no food, no electricity, and no clean water made them resilient, but it also made them defenseless.

"Is she safe for transport? We could be at Dormas within a day." Jules stood up to pace the floors of the medic tent once more. My eyes watched her pacing, and I found myself smiling a little. There was a time that she criticized me for pacing and worrying about my men; it made me happy to see that she’d found people she cared enough to worry about.

"I shouldn't risk it until her fever has gone down, and even so, Dormas is taken over by Ethros guards. It's not safe to go there."

Jules let out a throaty humorless laugh. "It's not safe to go anywhere, Walker." I took in her bloody clothes and tight-lipped grimace and knew she was right.

"I have clothes. Would you like to change into something less...bloody?" I asked, still unable to comprehend that Jules had killed someone. She'd managed to defend herself.

"I'd prefer to wait until her fever is down," Jules replied. It was odd seeing her so vulnerable and frazzled. She'd always seemed unaffected before. Mia had become someone that meant a lot to her over the last five months.

"You might be waiting a while. Where is Tallis?" I asked. Last I'd seen them, they were in the beginning stages of a relationship.

"He's in the Walker Zone." Jules' voice had a dreamy quality to it that made me think that they were still together.

"Why is he there?"

Jules turned her attention towards me before answering, "He's joining the Resistance. We're going to fight Cavil."

Absorbing her words, I finished smashing the Kava plant into the paste and made my way back over to Mia. I felt Jules' eyes on me as I lifted Mia's dressings to look at the stitches covering her torso. Using my gloved hand, I slathered it over her. Mia bucked when my hand touched her, and she moaned at the contact, her teeth gritted in pain.

"I thought that was for pain management," Jules said, crossing her thin arms over her chest and eyeing me with scrutiny. "It doesn't seem to be helping with any of her pain."

"If ingested, it can relieve pain, but when applied topically it prevents infection. It'll sting, but it's keeping it clean." Mia let out a moan, and I went to check her temperature once more, worried that an infection would set in.

"So why are you here?" I finally asked, working up the courage to know how Cyler, Jacob, and Maverick were. Did I want to know? Many nights I spent wondering if they'd moved on. If they were happier without me. It seemed silly now. Everyone's lives were at stake, and I was worried about unrequited love.

"I'm here because, even from across the empire, you're proving to be a gigantic pain in my ass."

The tent was dark despite the morning sun peeking through the entrance. But it wasn't dark enough to hide her angry brown-eyed stare directed right at me. "How are you even alive?" I asked, not taking the bait for her argument. I knew that she wanted a fight, but I wasn't going to give it to her. Jules was so stubborn, her heart seeking each and every opportunity to argue in order to avoid the pain it was feeling with each beat.

"I guess I have you to thank for that." In the corner of the tent was a bucket of Deadlands water and a small mirror propped up on a shelf. She made her way over to it and began washing her face, wincing when the acidic water touched a cut on her lip. "I was about a breath away from death. In fact, I did die. For two minutes to be exact. When you crossed the boundary, it activated my fetter, and the electric shock activated the rejection cure."

Jules turned around and began rolling up her stained sleeves, showing me her arm. There, where her fetter once was, was a purple scar wrapped around her bony wrist. How was that even possible? "Did you know that when a host dies, the fetter is programmed to detach itself?" She then nodded at my wrist where the reminder of my time at Ethros still sat proudly. "That fetter of yours has probably had dozens of owners before you."

"How...economical," I said with a shiver. It bothered me to think of how nonchalant she was about it all.

"So I guess since you fled to this little vacation of yours, nearly killing me, I should thank you. Your selfish little stunt saved my life. I escaped Ethros in a coffin. My brothers asked Cavil to bury me in Dormas. Maverick gave me some medicine that put me in a deep sleep, then I woke up in the Zone to Tallis and Mia."

There was so much in that statement that had me stuttering, but I clung to one part. "Selfish? I had no choice. You have no idea what happened to me," I growled while stomping towards her. "I woke up in the very same bed Mia is in. It wasn't until I was in the transport that I realized what was happening. I would have stayed, Jules."

"You had to have known, anyone with half a brain would have questioned things," Jules retorted.

"I didn't have time to question things. I was fighting for my life!" Jules simply smiled in response. Maybe it was my pent up anger at how everything happened. Or maybe I was angry because she was right. I should have known that Cyler would have planned something like this.

I wound back my arm and smacked Jules across the cheek. All earlier joy at having her and Mia back, safe and sound, was gone. Now, all I wanted was to hurt her. I needed to hurt someone.

I expected her eyes to water. I wanted the gratification of seeing her reaction, but what I got instead was like a knife twisting deep in my chest. Jules smiled. A wide, genuine smile full of promise and happiness.

"Look at you," she began while turning to inspect the red mark I left on her cheek in the mirror above the washbasin. "You got some bark now. I think you're ready."

"Ready for what?" I asked, my earlier anger fizzling out into nothing. What was happening? Had Jules completely lost her mind during her time away?

"Tallis and I made some friends in the Walker Zone. Friends that want to help us get my brothers back."

"Okay, well, let's do this, then," I said. Adrenaline flooded my veins. I'd been waiting five months to act, five months for the opportunity to claim my revenge.

Jules shuffled closer to me until we were nose to nose. "Are you willing to do anything?" she asked, her voice soft now. "’Cause I'm about to do something that many wouldn't approve of."

I cocked my eyebrow, unsure of what she meant. Jules was speaking in riddles. I watched as she dug inside the pocket of her pants, lifting a pill up so that it was eye level with me. "What are you going to do?" I asked. Jules seemed unstable yet determined. Her movements were planned like it was something she'd dreamed about for a while.

"You're only good to me dead, Walker. I'm going to kill you."

Before I could react, before I could stop her, Jules shoved me to the ground. Pinning my arms to my sides with her knees, she smiled with a grunt before shoving the pill in my mouth and clamping it shut. The pill was bitter and dissolved on my tongue the moment it hit.

She kept her hand over my mouth, and I fought my fading energy, bucking beneath Jules. I was dying to break free from her hold on the dirt floor of the medic tent. Behind her, the door to the tent opened and a shadowy figure entered. My vision began to fade as yells erupted, and Jules was pulled off of me.

"Enjoy death, little Walker," she screamed. The last thing I saw was a tall man picking her up off the floor and hauling Jules outside. A hand touched my cheek.

"Stay with me, Ash! Don't go! Please, don't go."