I hadn’t been in a transport since arriving in the Deadlands. Seeing the technology was jarring, almost. After spending so long in the simplicity of camp, I almost forgot we could travel with the push of a button. I’d spent hours walking to and from the creek each day for water, and other than Kemper’s nights scanning the news reports, we didn’t use our tablets. It was like we were suspended in a time where technology didn’t exist.

While we drove, I kept my eyes on the road, taking in the empire under Cavil’s rule. For the most part, everything was still the same. Scattered, abandoned towns passed by in the early morning. Trains hovering over tracks blew past us, carrying boxcars of military personnel and weapons. But the land still looked dusty and barren, thirsty for life.

It wasn’t until we drove through the metropolis of Saberus that I realized things had changed significantly during our time in the Deadlands. Ethros guards patrolled each street corner, and there were no pedestrians walking around. I’d heard rumors of Saberus. I knew it was a destination city for drugs, sex, and debauchery. But it looked repressed now. Shops along the main street were boarded up with X’s spray painted along the windows and doors. Signs were shattered. Glass littered the streets, and the few people we did see were hunched over, marching like ants to their destinations while staring at their feet.

“Cavil occupies everything but the Deadlands, but it’s only a matter of time,” Jules said in a low voice. She pressed her forehead against the window and peered at a burly guard spitting in the street.

“Where is everyone?” I asked. Although I’d spent most my life in the Stonewell Manor, I’d assumed that major cities were bustling with life. Saberus was empty.

“They’re either dead, hiding from Cavil’s men, or hiding from infected Walkers. Only the immune are safe since the rejection,” Jules said beneath her breath.

The transport zoomed by until we stopped at an iron gate leading to the main road. It slowly slid open for us, allowing the transport to pass through. Guards eyed us, and I held my breath as we passed, thankful that we had stolen an official Ethros transport back on the island. It let us travel without issues.

Just as we were about to pass the barrier and head towards Galla, an infected Walker with bloody eyes ran by. Crimson tears streamed down his face, and bursting blisters oozed along his arms. He wandered towards our transport, causing a frenzy of amusement to break out among the bored guards.

I expected them to pull the Heat from their holsters and ease his suffering, but they laughed at the Walker’s contorted face of agony. Pointing at the way the blood seeped from his arms onto the paved road of Saberus, they kept their distance but didn't stop him.

I could hear their laughter echoing through our transport. They stared at the infected Walker’s hunched over form, snickering at the way he suffered, feeling no compassion or empathy for his pain. He was wearing dress pants and leather shoes, and aside from the blood, they appeared to be tailored and expensive. Evidence that this man was once an Elite. I stared at his wrist and saw that he had a fetter on. He’d sold his freedom to Cavil then ended his life as a Walker.

It wasn’t until the infected Walker was close enough to become a threat, that a guard with curly blond hair and yellow teeth shot him with Heat, ending his suffering. His remains were now just a cloud of white dust, billowing in the humid air.

“At least they didn’t electrocute him first,” Jules said in an emotionless tone. “Sometimes, if they’re wearing fetters, they like to do that.” I snapped my gaze to Jules then frowned. Was this something she had seen? Kemper grabbed my hand and squeezed as we passed the barrier and continued towards Galla. It felt so weird to be heading back to where it all began. I was born in the Walker Zone. I just wondered if it was where I would die, too.

Galla had more security than Saberus. A line of people in transports and wagons wrapped around the exterior fence, waiting to get inside. Jules informed us that Cavil would be moving to the capital soon but was staying in Galla to appoint new leadership. I bet he was there to boast about his conquests across the empire. In my short time with Cavil, I’d learned that he was arrogant and assuming. He’d request parades in the street every day he left his home if he had the manpower to do so. But with the rejection and X so widespread, there simply weren’t enough people these days. You’d think a man that wants the world to worship him would be more concerned about the dwindling population.

“Park at these coordinates, Tallis will meet us there to smuggle us in the Zone,” Jules said. She tossed a scrap piece of paper in Huxley’s lap. “Normally, it’s easy to get in and hard to get out, but until we’ve changed your file in the Walker database, we have to be careful. We don’t want Cavil to be aware that any of you are here.”

“Are you sure about this?” Huxley asked while eyeing the paper with scrutiny.

“We should probably just establish right now that I know what the fuck I’m doing. I’d say you need to listen to me, but I know you won’t. So at the very least, I need you to not ask stupid questions. Of course I’m sure.”

I eyed Jules and bit back a smile. I loved the way she asserted herself with the guys. As Huxley leaned over to punch the coordinates into the center console of the transport, Kemper whispered in my ear.

“If at any moment you feel unsafe or unsure, I want to have a code word,” he said mischievously. “I’m thinking I should make it something naughty.”

I threw my head back and laughed, earning the attention of everyone in the transport. “And what would you suggest?”

“I would say cock, but then what if we’re having a normal conversation about cocks? That wouldn't work. How about muffin? Everyone loves muffins,” Kemp answered with a grin.

“Deal.” I imagined myself on some battlefield yelling, “Muffin!” and giggled.

When the transport came to a stop, I looked outside once more and observed an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Galla. A tall figure with white hair and wearing black was leaning in an alcove of one of the buildings. Jules eagerly pressed a button to raise the transport door, then ran to the man as he emerged from the shadow. She launched herself, smiling as she collided with his chest, and he spun her around.

I exited the transport, and he spoke into her hair. “Agapimenos, you’re three days late,” he said.

I smiled, realizing it was Tallis. His seeking eyes grazed over us, and I sensed that he was looking for Mia. “We hit a slight snag,” Jules replied with a defeated look on her face.

“Where’s Mia?” Tallis reached out to greet each of us. With a tight smile, he performed the usual Scavenger greeting by touching Huxley’s, Patrick’s, and my chest over our hearts.

“We were attacked. She’s okay, but it wasn’t safe for her to travel. She stayed behind with the Water Tribe. A healer there is tending to her, and I’m pretty sure the Chief has a crush on her, so she’s in expert care,” Jules explained.

Jules stared up at Tallis with adoration, and I wished for a reunion of my own. I wondered what would happen when I saw Maverick, Cyler, and Jacob. Would they be happy to see me? Spin me around? Or would they be angry I risked myself?

I decided I didn’t care.

“Agrio, it’s good to see you. I’m happy you’ve come to help.”

“Of course,” I said. “I would have come sooner, but we couldn’t figure out how to get off my fetter.” I absentmindedly rubbed my skin where my fetter once was. Sliding my eyes towards Jules, I stared pointedly at her happy expression. “Plus, we didn’t know where you were or even if you were alive.”

“Oh stop,” Jules replied. “I came for you eventually, didn’t I? I had other things to worry about.”

I felt a hand on my back, and I turned to see Kemper with his mouth dropped open in shock. His face was pale as he stared to our right.

“I forgot to mention,” Jules said with a grin, “I have a surprise for you.”

I followed Kemper’s gaze in confusion, unsure of what she meant, but froze when I saw a familiar flirtatious smile standing off to the side. My heart stumbled over my pulse. Happiness and uncertainty fought for dominance in my gut, making me question if my eyes were deceiving me or if Jacob—my Jacob—was truly standing there.

“Jacob?” I whispered while dropping my pack to the ground and shuffling towards him. I didn’t run and launch myself into his arms. I didn’t embrace him like a long-lost lover either. I stared at the beautiful man right in front of me like this moment was too precious, too perfect to ruin.

“Jacob, please tell me it’s you.”

He was wearing a gray hood, but I knew those lips, that smile, anywhere. “A-Ash,” he said. His voice held reverence and a hint of disbelief.

I lifted up on my tiptoes, kissing his chin, his cheeks, his neck. I peppered him with my love, rubbing my face against the scruff of his newly grown beard. “Jacob,” I cried out like I couldn’t say his name enough. I wanted to look into his perfect brown eyes before kissing those plump lips I’d dreamt about.

Slowly, I lifted my fingers to remove the hood as his breath hitched. And he grabbed my wrist to stop me. Something wasn’t right. I could feel the crackle of anxiety flowing off of him. “What’s wrong?” I asked as he released me.

Pinching the fabric between my fingers, I pulled back the grey hood and went still when I saw the scar slashed along his forehead and over his eyebrow. It was deep and long.

Oh, Jacob.

Tears filled my eyes as I ran a finger along his wound. I leaned forward and kissed his lips, letting my tears of relief and sadness wash over us. Patrick had said that Jacob was with him when he went to the transport in Ethros, but they had gotten separated. I’d always just assumed that Jacob went back to Maverick and Cyler.

I had tried not to let my dark thoughts trick me into worrying that he was hurt. But as much as I avoided them, my worst fears were confirmed. Jacob was hurt, and it was all my fault.

“Ash,” he whispered over my lips. My need for him was sharp, like a knife twisting in my gut and demanding to be felt. “Ash, so-so-sorry.” He stuttered like his words struggled to escape his lips.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” I whispered over and over. I couldn’t say it enough. I wanted to bathe in my love for him.

“I-I. I love. Love you.” He struggled to force his words out, and I sobbed while peppering more kisses along his jaw.

“What happened?” I choked out. Jacob’s shoulders slumped, and he looked over my head at Jules.

I felt a hand on my back, and I turned to see her sympathetic frown. I knew it was bad if she was showing empathy or emotions. “Jacob was attacked by guards while trying to escape. He suffered some extensive damage. He’s still the same Jacob though. He just struggles to articulate his words. He’s gotten a lot better. I'm just happy the idiot is awake. He was in a coma for a while."

More tears fell down my cheeks. “I didn’t want to tell you until you saw for yourself. He asked me to wait so you wouldn’t worry,” Jules explained while looking tenderly at her friend.

I placed a hand on Jacob’s chest before wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly. “Tallis was the one that found him. He was coming to rescue me and stopped the guards trying to kill him. It’s been a long road to recovery.”

I didn’t care. I’d take Jacob in whatever form I got him. I’d love him until my last breath. I’d support him. Help him navigate this difficult prognosis with love and respect.

“I love you, Jacob. I love you,” I whispered once more. It was like I couldn’t say it enough. I needed him to know that my love for him could overshadow the time that separated us and the pain he experienced. I loved him more than words could ever say. I pulled away as Huxley, Patrick, and Kemper came up to greet their friend. Jacob’s eyes lit up, but he still struggled to speak.

“You scared the fuck out of me,” Patrick said while patting him on the back. “It wasn’t enough that you were the most handsome out of all of us, now you had to add a badass scar to the persona?” he joked, making Jacob let lose a hearty but choked laugh that sounded like pure music to my ears.

"Jacob might steal your role as the broody silent one," Patrick then added while nudging his brother in the side. Huxley simply rolled his eyes in response.

Naturally, Kemper began asking Jules a series of questions about Jacob. He was in fix-it mode, and for once, his need for perfection and peace didn’t bother me. I wanted to help in whatever way I could too.

Another lost piece of my heart clicked into place, but also, my need for revenge intensified. Reuniting with Jacob brought the anger that had been bubbling below the surface to a raging inferno. I had Jacob back but had lost another part of myself to the numbing need to kill Cavil for what he’s done.

After our reunions were done, we made our way inside the warehouse. Tallis told us that we had to keep moving. He was eager to get us to the safety of the Zone, and I wondered what that said about Cavil’s reign if it was safer there than it was in downtown Galla. Tallis had changed too. The wise way he carried himself had become more direct, more sharpened. Although I’d known him to be fierce and observant, he had also grown to move with a sharpness that I hadn’t recognized before. His cool confidence was now quick and intentional.

Kemper sent the transport further out away from us so that if someone stumbled upon it, they wouldn’t decide to snoop around the warehouse. Inside, the building wasn’t particularly spectacular. To an outsider, it would simply look like one of the many manufacturing plants that have long since been abandoned. As with everything in the empire, it was in ruin. Holes in the ceiling allowed the bright moonlight to shine through, and dust covered every spare space. A rusted piece of metal was laying on the floor in the far east corner, and Jacob and Tallis lifted it up, revealing a tunnel beneath.

“It leads to the Zone. It’s how we’ve been sneaking people in and out. It's a couple miles there. Hope you’re ready for a walk.”

I laughed, thinking of all the walking we'd done in the Deadlands.

"I think we can handle it," I replied.

As we traveled down the dark and damp hallway, rats scurried by our feet. I clung to Jacob's arm, gripping him tightly as if to prove to myself that he was really here. He kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, but every time I caught him, he would go back to looking ahead.

The humid air was suffocating, and with each step we took deeper into the Zone, the more fearful I felt. Jules and Tallis moved like they were familiar with the intricate underground tunnel system. I tried to keep track of the many twists and turns but lost count long before we were halfway to our destination.

"Where will we be staying?" Huxley asked. As expected, he was on the verge of an episode. Huxley felt differently about Jacob than about anyone else due to their past. I knew that there was an added layer of guilt to his protective nature where Jacob was concerned. Hyper aware of his surroundings, Hux was prepared to pounce at the first sign of danger. And after seeing the evidence of Jacob's last five months, the reality of our situation had become abundantly clear. We weren’t safe.

I knew Huxley was blaming himself for what happened. I knew he was on edge, ready to murder someone. Kemper was silent, probably thinking about solutions to Jacob's new disability, and Patrick was smiling, forcing the guilt and sadness at bay to bear the weight of uplifting the group.

I was eager to learn more about what had happened in these last five months. I yearned to understand Jacob’s struggles. It was obvious that he could no longer articulate his words efficiently. When I thought of Jacob, I thought of the smooth-talking, flirtatious man that said all the right things. The scar across his face and the way his shoulders slumped as he tried to speak broke me.

"Are you okay?" I asked Jacob in a whisper. I wasn't sure if, by asking, I was upsetting him. He had been staring at the small tunnels with unease. The rigid way he carried himself had me concerned.

"I'm. I'm worried. The walls." Jacob let out a frustrated huff before digging in his tan pants pocket. Looking over her shoulder ahead of us, Jules then spoke.

"I don't know why you didn't just put in your mindspeak to begin with. It took a team of eight of us to steal that, and you never wear it," she said while rolling her eyes.

I watched as Jacob pulled a shiny device no bigger than a coin from his pocket and placed it in his ear. It was metal and small, looking like a tiny earpiece with a speaker attached.

"I haven't quite figured out how to censor my thoughts, you unfeeling bitch," a monotone, robotic voice said. I snapped my attention to Jacob, and he pointed at the device in his ear. "It's a mindspeak translator," the voice explained. "Basically, I push my thoughts to the device, and it articulates for me. God, you look so fucking beautiful right now."

A broad grin broke out on my face at his compliment. If it weren't so dark, I was sure that I would see him blush. "The only downside is, it seems like all my thoughts get picked up by this goddamn thing. Have your lips always been that perfect? They look like pillows."

Behind me, Patrick and Kemper burst into fits of laughter. "It's like you have your own personal lie detector," Patrick snorted.

The robotic voice then started spewing out a string of vibrant curse words, making even Huxley snap out of his angry mood to gasp at the vulgarity of them. Jacob hurriedly removed the device from his ear, abruptly cutting off the insults shouted by his subconscious.

Once the laughter died down, Jacob took a deep breath while repositioning the earpiece once more. "To answer your original question, since my time in Ethros, small, dark spaces make me anxious. I fell down a drain when I was attacked."

I suddenly felt bad that he was in the tunnels. Was he okay? I began walking faster. "Then why did you come?"

"Are you kidding me? What the fuck do you think I am? I’ve been going every day hoping Jules was bringing you here. Think I'd stay behind like a coward? Hell no." Once again, I smiled at how unfiltered his thoughts were. It was eye-opening, to say the least. Although I hated that this happened to Jacob, there was something magical about having access to his inhibited thoughts. I liked knowing what he so freely thought of me.

"But if you want to make me feel a little better, sweetheart, I could take you off to one of the side tunnels and fuck—" Jacob once again ripped the earpiece from his ear. He then placed it in his pocket with a scowl. My heart was racing as I imagined the things his thoughts described. Around us, everyone laughed, but the heavy streaks of arousal traveling through my system lacked any humor. I stroked his arms with my fingers, leaning closer until I could whisper in his ear as we walked.

"I would like that very much," I whispered. But not quietly enough, because behind us, Patrick let out a cough.

"So would I..." he said.

I looked behind me, a mischievous grin on my face. “Have you lost your filter too?” I asked playfully. It felt nice to joke with them despite the grim situation.

Patrick returned my grin as we walked under an overhanging light, illuminating his face. "I've never pretended to have a filter when it comes to you, Ash."