Chapter Eight: Alexa
The shuffle between Kellan’s place and mine was odd, but not in a bad way. I dropped Joshua’s car back off at the bar, but he wasn’t there so I awkwardly left the keys in the office with a note. On the walk over to my apartment, I let my mind drift away.
Waking up next to Kellan brought on so many feelings I couldn’t place. I had never felt so safe, and like I belonged. He was very warm, so much that I thought he was running a fever, maybe from his injuries. But that’s just the way he was, warm and safe.
I got different feelings from all of them, I didn’t even know I was capable of such a variety. Joshua was unpredictable and fun, he was very easy to be around and I feel like I don’t have a care in the world when he is around. Even from the few times I had been around him, I knew he was that way.
Austin had an easy sense of humor, and knows just what to say. I hadn’t been with him completely yet, but even from our little tryst I got a sense of him. And after what happened with that man at the bar, the way they were both there for me when I needed it.
I knew I had to help Kellan in any way I could, so I didn’t hesitate to bail him out. His apartment was cozy, and it was easy to feel at home there, even though I didn’t do much but shower…
God, I could still feel him inside of me. Feel his hands everywhere on me. I almost thought taking another shower would make me forget. Kellan did make me feel safe, but also understood. Without having to say anything about my past. His touch just knew how to comfort me. I had never slept so well than I did that night in his arms. I felt bad for even sneaking away while he still slept, especially since I was worried he could have a concussion. I wasn’t sure how hard he got hit, but it was still a concern of mine.
But my mind was racing so fast I couldn’t think of anything else but to go, and clear my head. He insisted he was fine, and something told me to believe him, that he had been through something like this before. I decided I would call and check on him. But I had to gather myself and my thoughts before I went back to work.
I hadn’t spoken to any of them but I wasn’t about to call in sick. It sounds bad, but it wasn’t even really a big deal. Yeah, that guy grabbed and touched me, but I knew things could have been worse. And I know the guys don’t tolerate that type of stuff, so if something happens, I know they would be there.
Back in my apartment I took another hot shower. I closed my eyes and pictured myself back there. First with Joshua in that bathroom of the restaurant. It was hard and fast and what I needed at the time; sometimes we all need that rough, sexy time. And Joshua was perfect for that. They were all perfect in their own way. How was I supposed to choose?
Did I even have to?
I scolded myself for even thinking that. They were best friends who owned a business together. I didn’t want to ruin their lives with drama. Oh God, did they know I was with each of them? I almost felt sick, I felt like I betrayed each of them.
Of course I could say we weren’t in a relationship and that I didn’t do anything wrong. That I was reacting to various moments of pleasure. But I knew that wasn’t even true. I craved all of them. Their touch, their mouths. Austin was the only one whose cock I could obsess about—jeez, what did that make me?
When the hot water faded I realized my hand was between my legs and I was on the verge of climax. I shook my head and washed off. I was acting crazy. I got out, dressed, and ate a frozen dinner. Then I watched Law and Order reruns.
I kept debating whether or not I should tell them the truth. Would I tell them all at the same time and watch another fight ensue? Would they even fight? It didn’t seem plausible, nothing did. All I could do was go through my purse and recount my tips. It was enough to pay rent, not including my hourly rate.
I get paid a manager’s salary because of the extra work I have to do. Bartenders have to settle the tab from the entire night, balance the cashier box. All that. Although I didn’t get to do it the first night because of what happened, I knew I had to.
Since I didn’t have to be there until seven I cleaned my place up a little bit, it desperately needed it. I wished I had time to wash my shirt, but I thought I would ask for another one once I got there. I sprayed it with perfume, and it wasn’t dirty with stains or anything. I put on a pair of dark wash jeans with a few tears at the knee. I think all but one of my jeans were ripped somewhere.
Converse were the most comfortable shoes to wear for a long night. My hair dried on its own, and then I braided it down my back so it was out of the way. I started the short walk to the bar, the streets were bustling with students and teachers, babbling on about their day. I couldn’t tell if anyone was still talking about the events of the night before. I checked social media and people were still Tweeting about it, commenting on their Facebook page and stuff. The responses were mixed between praising Kellan, and coming after him for beating up a customer. They didn’t even know the whole story.
Walking in the bar was like stepping back in time. A few people were on the floor, no one at the bar. Except the three of them; Joshua was seated at the bar with an IPA, Austin was next to him and Kellan stood there. But they were having a heated conversation from the looks of it. I got closer, and then they saw me. They smiled, but the way they stopped talking as soon as they saw me was suspicious. I waved slightly, but I was worried.
Then they all separated and went to their respective places like nothing. Austin in the kitchen, Kellan and Joshua to the back office. It was odd, and it left me uneasy. I thought Kellan may be angry with me for leaving him that morning. That time in the shower was…special. It meant more than just sex, I should have stayed. Still, I didn’t think that was it.
As I washed bar glasses I decided they were talking about me. They must have been, because they stopped as soon as they saw me. They must know I was with all of them, but I still didn’t know if they were mad because of it.
“’Scuse me!” I hadn’t been paying attention, so someone at the bar got my attention.
“Sorry, what can I get for you?” I gave my best fake smile. The one where nothing is wrong and everything is hunky dory.
I got him his drink and went back to washing dishes. I gave myself busy work until Austin showed up.
“You have good handwriting?” His eyes glinted as he smiled. I gave him a funny look.
“It’s decent…why?” I looked him over. He was wearing an old gray tee shirt, artfully stained with kitchen stains. His jeans stretched over his muscular frame, his shoulders were so broad I could hide behind them. Stubble grew on his strong jaw, and he was so aesthetically pleasing I couldn’t stand it.
“Our printer is jammed up, so orders won’t print out. No point in fixing it since it is so old fashioned.” He chuckled. He leaned in close to me and I gulped nervously. He looked normal, like nothing was wrong.
“Oh. Okay.” I nodded. People at the bar never ordered much, other than appetizers or something to munch on with alcohol. It wouldn’t be too bad.
“Or you could just yell it out. I know how good you are at that.” Heat surged through me as his finger trailed up my bare arm, and then across my stomach until I shuddered.
His eyes were boring a fire into mine, I could feel the desire rolling off of him. He looked like he would take me right here, and not care who was watching. Maybe he even wanted people to watch.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I giggled nervously. He smiled and brushed his thumb across my cheek, then he winked and stepped back.
“I’m in the kitchen if you need me.” He sauntered off with a smug smile and I followed him with my eyes. The angry guy at the bar got my attention again. He didn’t leave a tip.
I guess I deserved it, in some way. I was distracted. Then Joshua came over about halfway through the night. I assumed they were playing some kind of game with me. They must be angry that I was with each of them. I should have known better, I should have known that they would find out. They are best friends, they own this bar together, on top of that they know everything going on with the bar.
“Hey, you’re that bartender from last night.” The place was more crowded even still, so I barely heard the guy at the bar.
He was younger, maybe a reporter or a journalism major in college. I didn’t see any harm in talking to him.
“Uh, yeah I am.” I topped off his draft beer.
“Thanks. You just started, didn’t you?” He asked. His eyes wandered across my body, but I didn’t think anything of it.
“Yeah. Yesterday.”
“Damn. Rough start.”
“Little bit…you go to school here?” I asked him.
“Yeah. My friends are playing pool, but I’m no good at it.” He answered.
It was nice talking to him, it took my mind off of everything I was thinking about. He was an average college student, trying his way at flirting. It was subpar, but cute anyway. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere but that’s what us bartenders do, talk to the people who just want someone to listen.
He left a really good tip before he went off to find his friends. I wasn’t sure if it was just because of the day, but the place was even more packed than the day before. Maybe Kellan was right about publicity not being bad. But people still kept asking about the day before, some were girls just gushing about how jealous they were of a guy fighting for me.
Everyone knows the owners and how hot they are. So, I didn’t blame them. Still, I just wanted to make drinks and not talk about it at all.