VEE

I hoped the fancy dinner in the uncomfortable atmosphere would be the evening's end, but no such luck. Portia ushers her guests into a vast room towards the rear of the house, promising coffees and an end to the evening. My fake memories contain a family home with a small conservatory; a room surrounded by glass looking out onto a neat square of lawn in the garden. Portia's glass room runs the length of the house, taking up the majority of the garden area. The ceiling's decorated in shining white lights to match the jewels in her hair, every cushion and throw on the seats matching the gold-themed decor.

Despite standing beside her fae husband, she's closer to Xander and Heath with her hand resting on each guys’ arm.

Heath’s distant, but Xander allows her close, why? How far would Xander go to keep the peace because he's failing tonight? Right now, he's distracted, elsewhere. Planning tomorrow?

I approach them, following a bathroom visit, and Portia interrupts before I can speak. "Ah, Verity. Be a darling and tell Diane to make the coffees. I feel our evening could be coming to an end soon. I'm exhausted." She fans her face. "Perhaps I drank a little too much. The stress from the other day took such a toll on me."

I fight rolling my eyes at her acting skills. I bet she's involved in the local amateur dramatics scene; I could imagine her involved in all kinds of community activities, thrusting herself into the centre of attention. What do other school mums think of her?

Diane isn't in the kitchen, and I take a moment to compose myself. This evening is exhausting. I'm on guard to every word and action, tense around the conflict pawing at the corners, at the undercurrents and distrust. As a relative outsider, it's easy to see whoever has instigated the recent events knows what they're doing. By striking at the heart of the peaceful union between the most powerful supernatural race and the Horsemen, they can kill the alliance. With that broken link, life becomes harder for the guys.

Out of habit, I stack dirty plates by the sink and gather glasses into a neat row. I draw the line at loading the dishwasher, but in the past if I'm invited to someone's home to dine, I help clear up.

But in the past, the people I've socialised with in this way haven't had hired help, or access to magic. I scrape food from a plate into the kitchen bin. Where do the other fae live in Portia's kingdom? At the court in London she mentioned, or are they everywhere in the area? Why have I never noticed them before?

"Dearest girl, why are you behaving like a servant?" Logan walks into the room and takes an open bottle of red wine from the kitchen counter.

"I’m helping."

"I think you're far above that station in life, Verity." He chuckles and holds the bottle above a clean glass on the counter. "Wine?"

"No, thanks."

Logan places the bottle back down. "I always find you Horsemen difficult to read. Are you a Horseman? Horselady?" He smiles at his joke. "I mean, do you have the same origins as the men do?"

"I don't know."

"I've never met the Four, but wanted to for months. I’m happy Portia invited me today. You're a curious group but they've proved themselves in the past. I think Portia would trust you better, Vee, if we knew what you really are."

Discomfort prickles my scalp. Was this dinner party one to examine me? Portia told me this was to welcome me into the fold, but my doubts just became suspicions.

"I'd like to know the same thing," I say with a light smile and gesture towards the doorway. "Excuse me."

Logan's scrutiny triggers further discomfort. My fear of fae won't drop following my violent introduction to the race, and the strange intensity around them continues to make me nervous. They emanate a serenity that captivates, but their ability to suddenly morph into something darker frightens me. I've enough problems dealing with one person like that, and I live with him.

As I pass, Logan touches my cheek, and I recoil. Fae aren't great at respecting personal space either. "There's a lot suppressed inside you, Verity. Do the Horsemen know you're more powerful than they are?"

"Yes. They told you."

"So we should be the most careful of you, I imagine." His thin mouth smiles, but his eyes don't match. "Where did you come from, Verity?"

"The same place as the others." I need out of this room now.

"Really? Where is that?"

I grit my teeth. "I'm sure you've spoken to the guys about this. We don't know. My memory doesn't stretch back that far."

Logan sips his wine, regarding me over the rim. His scrutiny tonight moves from awkward to uneasy. "But where were you for the last ten years? You weren't with the Four. Who created you?"

His intense line of questioning sits heavily on my shoulders; he's prying into the questions I avoid asking myself.

"Are you asking out of curiosity or do you have an agenda?" I retort. "Because I don't have an answer to your interrogation."

"You're evidently a huge distraction to the four men. Have you ever considered whether that's deliberate?" he asks with a sly smile.

"No. I'm more than that, I have my own—" I stop.

Logan straightens. "Your own what? Power? What is your power, Verity? I heard that you're a vessel containing magic to amplify the Four. I don't believe that. Nobody would go to such trouble to hide you if that were all you could do."

"I guess not, excuse me." I push on with my attempt to leave the kitchen, a journey that's become equivalent to crossing the Sahara.

"Be careful. I can see him in your mind."

I halt. "See who?"

"Someone from the darkness you hold."

"What darkness? As Portia witnessed, I'm light. Truth."

He laughs. "Perhaps. But all the Horsemen contain darkness. How could any of you kill if you were purely good?"

No. I don't want to hear this. He's lying.

"I believe that keeping that darkness contained is the problem you will all face," he continues.

"Perhaps. I really need to talk to Xander about something." I force another smile. Logan must know Xander will step in if he continues to bother me. Every one of the guys will step in if they see I’m distressed.

Logan pushes on regardless, eyes glinting. "I also detect hate and vengeance inside you, Vee. Did you kill someone?"

I swallow. "I defended myself."

"So, yes?"

"A demon," I hiss. "I think you know my life is a ‘kill or be killed’ situation."

"And did you enjoy killing?" Logan whispers. "Did the act empower you?" He runs his tongue along his bottom lip. "Did taking a life turn you on?"

"What the hell?" I hiss.

"And then perhaps you needed to release that tension somehow?"

"Whoa!" I step back. "That's inappropriate!"

"There's no need to feel coy about the power of sex. Sex is a tool for the fae to empower our magic, and central to everyone and everything in our lives. Why not your 'kind' too, whatever you are? The sexual need between the five of you lights the room." He arches a brow. "I don't think it's just a case of the five of you wanting to fuck, I think it's a case of you need to."

Omigod.

"And what makes you such an expert on us?" I turn to where Ewan's walked into the kitchen behind me. "Vee may be one of us, but she's freaked out enough trying to cope with shit, without you hitting on her."

"I am doing no such thing!" Logan retorts and sips his wine. "I'm merely enquiring about her origins."

"And discussing sex? That’s inappropriate with someone you met a couple of hours ago, and so is that word." Ewan takes my hand. "Are you okay?"

I respond with the pained look he must recognise—Verity attempting not to tell the truth. “Um.”

“That’s no, isn’t it?” growls Ewan.

The darkness. What the hell is this darkness? Logan triggered anxiety because he's right. I did feel a strength and triumph after I killed the incubus. The desire to kill pushed out everything, and nothing would've stopped me.

I glance at Ewan. I was on a high afterwards, and the desire for sex matched the need I had to kill the demon hours earlier. I craved the release and physically ached for Ewan to share the energy with me. But when I look at him now, the part not satiated builds again.

Something lingers and will not go anywhere until I unite with one of them on a purely physical level.

Images of the pair of us together flicker in my mind as I stare at the lips that bruised mine, the mouth that pulled me away from this darkness and into to the stars.

Logan leans forward and whispers. "I can see into your mind and know exactly what you're thinking, Vee. I knew I was right."

I immediately force the images away. Logan looks between Ewan and me. "Something's tense between you. Not only because you didn't fuck, but more. Something happened today, I've sensed it from you all. What?"

I stare back at him, and his eyes fix on mine, arousing the sensation he’s inside my mind, pushing around inside for the Truth.

His question cleverly conjures the images of the corpses, of our panic and confusion.

Logan's mouth parts and he steps back. "What happened?"

"Verity. Stop looking at him. Leave the room," growls Ewan. "Think about something else."

I don't hesitate and rush back to Portia and the boys. Heath frowns at me as he notices my flustered state. "Are you okay?"

"I'm getting tired too," I say with a weak smile to Portia. "Long day."

Logan appears behind me, Ewan beside him. "When exactly were you going to tell us a demon killed and left a body on your property?"

Thank god, he didn’t see it was a fae.

Xander snaps his head around from his conversation with Portia. "What did you say to him, Ewan?"

"Nothing. He's a freaking mind reader. You kept that quiet, didn't you Portia?"

Her face hardens. "How else are we supposed to know what secrets you hide from us?"

"We're not hiding secrets," replies Joss.

"What did you see?" she demands of Logan.

"Another death. Confusion. Verity walked away before I found anymore."

"You brought someone here to spy on our minds?" asks Heath. "Has your trust in us descended so far when we do everything to help you?"

In the corner of my eye, Joss steps closer to Xander, and I share Joss's awareness that the Xander's anger builds with each word spoken. Joss needs to calm him or we need to leave.

"How dare you," growls Xander. "How dare you fucking trick us like this?"

"We did the right thing because you came here tonight with a deliberate choice not to disclose everything you know."

"Because we don't know enough to say anything yet," says Heath, flashing his brother a look. "As soon as we have a concrete lead, we'll share everything we discover."

"I don't trust them," says Logan. "I especially don't trust her." He jabs a finger at me and I blink. "She's frightened of fae because something darker lives inside her. I can sense it. She needs removing from the situation. From everybody’s lives."

Every pair of eyes in the room turn to me, and I freeze, fear washing over me. What will Logan do? What have I caused here?

The silence breaks as Xander steps forward and grabs Logan by the shirt. I flinch as Xander pulls him until they're nose to nose. "Insult or hurt Vee and you insult us all. Refuse to accept her, and you can forget asking for our help anymore."

Logan doesn't flinch. "And so her true role begins, Xander. Look at what this is doing to us all."

Xander's grip tightens on Logan's shirt. "Yeah, Vee has her role and can help save your asses. Do you want that to stop?"

"Xander! For fuck's sake.” Heath steps forward and grabs his fist, untangling his fingers from Logan's shirt. "Don't jeopardise what's already a bloody shaky situation."

Xander pushes Heath aside as he releases Logan but remains in his face. "Vee helped save your queen's life. Why would she do that if she had any ill intent towards the fae? She's one of us. A part of us. We're stronger with her."

"Stronger? Ha! She weakens you all! Do you understand everything? Are you confident you're safe around Truth?"

"Shut the fuck up,” he snarls. "You don't know her."

"Joss! Get hold of him,” hisses Heath as Xander's face fills with a darkness we all recognise.

Joss steps forward and places a hand on Xander's shoulder. "Come on, man. This isn't helpful."

Xander doesn't respond, and the atmosphere in the room builds a wall dividing the two sides. If Xander breaks through with the fury I feel from him, this situation and their relationship with the fae descends further into mistrust.

"Xander. Back off," mutters Heath. "Please calm the fuck down."

I watch in horror, half wanting to run. "I'm done,” he shouts and turns to Portia. "I'm fucking done with this.”

The glowing energy and violet eyes I saw from Portia earlier grows as she looks back. The frustration between her and Xander from earlier in the evening morphs into a mutual disdain and edges towards battle.

"The fae who attempted to take Verity before we reached her? Was that orchestrated by you?" growls Xander.

"Insolent, stupid boy!" snaps Portia. "Are you implying that I consort with demons? That I am as willing to betray you, as you are us?"

"Betray you? What the fuck are you talking about?"

She steps forward, head to head with the furious Xander. "I brought you here tonight as a last attempt for you to be upfront with us. To see whether we could trust you. I asked you outright if you had any further information to share, and you lied. What else have you lied to us about? If you cannot tell us everything, then we want nothing from you."

"Are you fucking stupid?"

"Xander!" yells Heath. "Step down. Think about what you're doing."

He snaps his head around. "They're threatening Vee. Aren't you listening?"

Portia sneers. "No, we're not. But I refuse to deal with or trust you unless Verity is out of the picture. All this trouble began when she arrived. All this fantasy about her being your Fifth. You're blinded by her." She looks to the other guys. "We won't hurt her, and probably couldn't anyway, but Logan has confirmed what I sensed the day I first met her. She's too powerful. Vee will consume you, and then where will the world be?"

"Ewan." Xander's tone is short, a command that prompts Ewan's arm around my shoulders. "Leave with Vee."

I'm dazed as he guides me out of the room and to the front door. A bodyguard straightens, eyes darting between us and the lounge room where the argument continues.

"Excuse me," says Ewan with false politeness. "We need to leave."

I sense someone behind me. One of the other guys? The bodyguard nods as we open the door; presumably, his shouting queen proves we haven't killed or harmed her. Has he been chastised for interfering in her affairs in the past, rather than performing his strong and silent job?

Head swirling in confusion as we walk back into suburban reality, I follow Heath and Ewan back to the SUV.

What have I done?