Chapter Fifteen
Charlie’s jaw dropped. She must have heard him wrong. She had to have because there was no way Jake had just told her he loved her. Not only did he confess his love for her, he had actually asked her to marry him. No. She had definitely misheard him.
“Say what?” she asked in disbelief when she finally found her voice.
“I love you, Charlie. I have for a long time. Hell, I think I probably fell in love with you the very first time I saw you. Nothing would make me happier right now than for you to consent to be my wife. Please say you will,” he said with eagerness.
Charlie pulled out of Jake’s arms and looked at him. She was stunned. She didn’t doubt his sincerity but she couldn’t take this sudden declaration of love. “Jake, we never talked about love,” she said warily. Oh dear, what was she going to do now? Love was not supposed to be a part of the equation. “You don’t really mean what you’re saying. You’re just caught up in the moment.” She patted his chest lightly.
“Don’t patronize me, Charlie.” He sat up abruptly. “Of course, I mean it. I’ve never told any other woman I loved her. I don’t use that word lightly so I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell me how I’m feeling right now. I know how I feel and I love you,” he said passionately.
Charlie went completely still. All this time she had thought Jake had only wanted a physical relationship with her. How could she have been so blind? She had been so busy trying not to fall in love with him herself she hadn’t noticed Jake falling in love with her. Had she known how he felt about her, she would have run the other way.
Knowing Jake loved her put things into a different perspective. She would have to disabuse him from any thoughts of his love being returned. Loving him back was just not a gamble she was willing to take.
“Charlie, say something,” Jake said with anxiety.
“Jake, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll marry me and make me the happiest man alive. We’ll have a big wedding with all our family and friends there. Kristy can be the flower girl…my nieces and your friend Laura can be bridesmaids. My family will be thrilled,” he said with an excited gleam in his eyes. He had this all thought out.
“Whoa. You’re going too fast. First of all, I didn’t say I’d marry you. Second, I don’t love you.”
Jake paled. “What?” he asked with widened eyes, looking as if he couldn’t believe she was rejecting him
“I don’t love you, Jake,” she repeated, trying to be as gentle as she could.
He looked at her with pain-filled eyes. “You practically threw yourself at me. I thought you loved me, too.” He sounded on the verge of tears. He took deep shallow breaths as though he were hyperventilating.
“Jake, are you okay?” Charlie asked with genuine concern. It hadn’t been her intention to hurt him but, then again, she didn’t know she would be put in this situation. “Jake?” she asked again uncertainly. He had lost all color in his face.
Jake took several minutes before he answered her. Anger contorted his handsome face. He leaped out of bed, startling Charlie by his sudden movement. He pulled her roughly against his chest by her forearms. She gasped in fear at the blaze in his ice blue eyes. “You’re lying!” he said vehemently.
“I’m not, Jake. I don’t love you. I’m sorry but it’s the truth,” she said tearfully.
“You do love me. I know you do.” He shook her with each angry word.
“Jake, let me go. You’re hurting me,” she ordered.
Jake looked down at her with a dark brooding look before he let her go. Charlie fell back against the bed. She rubbed her arms in order to get the circulation flowing once more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you.”
“It’s okay,” she said quietly, recognizing the pain reflected in his eyes.
“No, it’s not okay. I had no right to manhandle you that way. I abhor violence against women.”
“You’re right, you didn’t, but I understand. I know you didn’t mean me any harm.”
“I didn’t but damn it, Charlie, how can you say you don’t love me when we just finished making love the way we did. We didn’t just fuck; we made love!” He raised his voice.
“Lower your voice, Jake, before you wake Kristy up.” Charlie said the only thing she could think to say. She didn’t want to have this conversation right now, and actually not at all.
“You didn’t care about waking Kristy when you were screaming my name, begging for my cock,” he accused brutally.
Charlie blushed. “Jake, it was just sex,” she argued.
“It wasn’t just sex, or at least it wasn’t for me. I told you I loved you and you tell me it’s just sex?”
“Jake, I’m sorry, but I don’t love you. I’m sorry you got the wrong impression but it was just physical,” she said with tears in her eyes. She wanted so badly to tell him she loved him but she just couldn’t allow herself to.
Jake sat back down on the bed.
“Charlie, I love you. I don’t care if you don’t love me back. Marry me and I promise I’ll spend my every waking minute making you happy. Maybe in time, you will grow to love me, too. Please, Charlie. Please say yes,” he pleaded, taking her in his arms, planting kisses all over her face.
Paul had promised the same thing but now he was dead. Charlie pushed against his chest. “No, Jake. I can’t.”
“Why can’t you? Please tell me, Charlie.”
Charlie looked at him. How could she tell him that if she allowed herself to love him, she would be in constant fear of losing him, and if she did lose him, how could she go on living?
“I just can’t, Jake,” she said, tears falling freely down her face.
“Is it because you are still in love with your husband?” he asked.
“Jake, I…yes. It’s because I’m still in love with Paul. No one will ever take his place in my heart,” she whispered.
Jake paled. “So where does that leave us?”
“There is no us. There’s a physical attraction and that’s it. We can’t get married but there’s no reason why we can’t still be lovers.”
Jake gave her a long hard stare. “I asked you to marry me because I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. I want you as my wife, yet, you’d rather just be lovers. Not lovers really, but fuck buddies, because that’s all it would be if there’s no love. Your offer is insulting and degrading. I won’t be your stud.” He slid out of the bed.
Charlie watched as Jake grabbed his clothes and pulled them on. “Jake, you won’t… I mean you won’t let this affect your relationship with Kristy will you?” she asked tentatively.
“You must really have a low opinion of me, Charlie.”
“No, I don’t,” she said hastily.
“You obviously do, or you wouldn’t have implied such a shitty thing. I love that little girl more than life itself and I won’t stop seeing her just because her mother wants to use me like some man-whore she can dismiss at the snap of a finger.”
“That’s not true!” Charlie protested.
“Isn’t it? Look, I need to get out of here. I know I said I’d have a support check for you today but I got a little sidetracked. I will mail it to you, so you’ll have it this week. Don’t forget, I have Kristy for the weekend, so is it okay if I pick her up Friday night?”
Charlie nodded mutely. What could she say? She could see how hurt Jake was but her fear would not allow her to go to him and throw herself into his arms as she longed to do.
“Well, this is it then. There’s no way you will consider marrying me?” he asked stiffly. Charlie shook her head tearfully.
He nodded. “Okay. I’ll respect your wishes. I do want you to be happy, Charlie, and I’m sorry you’re still grieving over your loss. If you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” he said before walking out the door.
Charlie sat in the middle of her bed when Jake left. Tears rolled down her cheeks, before she broke into loud, body-shaking sobs. Jake loved her, yet, she sent him away. She knew she had hurt him, but she ended up hurting herself far more.
“Jennifer, cancel all my meetings for the rest of the week. I’m going to take a few days off,” Jake said as he walked into his office the next day.
“My, my. Mr. Workaholic is taking some time off?” Jennifer asked in amazement.
“Please, Jen, I’m not in the mood. Please just cancel all my appointments.” He sighed heavily.
“What’s wrong, Jake? You sound frustrated.”
“Nothing I care to get into right now.”
“Okay. I’ll cancel those appointments right away.” She knew when to back off.
Jake went into his office and closed the door. If he didn’t have an important meeting today, he wouldn’t have bothered coming in. As it stood, he didn’t know how he was going to get through the rest of the day. Charlie had taken his heart and ripped it to shreds.
Fortunately, he had a million things on his desk to attend to so he was thankfully able to throw himself into his work. At least work was the one thing in his life that wasn’t out of whack. Jake was so engrossed with what he was working on he was surprised when the intercom buzzed. He frowned when he looked at his watch. It was just before noon. His meeting wasn’t for another couple of hours and he didn’t have any other appointments scheduled.
“What’s up, Jen?”
“Steve is out here. He’d like to see you, Jake,” Jennifer announced.
Jake frowned. The last person he wanted to see right now was Steve. “Tell him to go away,” he growled, not caring whether Steve wanted to see him for work-related reasons or not. Jake didn’t want to see that rat’s face. He sat back in his chair as he recalled the events of yesterday.
When Jennifer had told him what was being said around the office and from where it had come from, Jake saw red. He stormed out of his office and strode down the hall to Steve’s, like an angry avenger. The wind was taken out of his sails when Steve’s personal assistant Janice informed Jake Steve had gone for the day.
Not able to leave right away because of an important meeting with a client later on, Jake impatiently waited until his meeting was over to leave. He drove straight to Steve’s house. Steve’s car along with another car was in his driveway. Jake figured it was probably a woman. How like Steve to heal his wounded ego with a session of sexual aerobics, Jake thought with disgust. He hammered on the door impatiently.
“Steve! Get your ass out here!” Jake called.
“What’s the commotion? What are you doing here? I have company upstairs,” Steve asked opening the door.
“You know why I’m here and the only bastard around here is you. How could you, Steve?”
“What are you talking about?”
“How could you do what you did to her? Don’t play dumb. I shouldn’t have to spell it out to you,” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs.
Jake advanced on Steve and before he knew what happened, Jake’s fist slammed into his face, knocking him on his ass.
“Get up, you son of a bitch,” Jake growled, ready to give Steve more.
Steve’s ire was now raised. He quickly got up and charged at Jake. Jake tried to sidestep Steve’s fist but Steve landed a solid punch to Jake’s mouth. A rage that had been building up since the afternoon was unleashed as he pounded Steve in the face, and then punched him again.
When Steve dropped to the floor again Jake kicked him in the ribs. Steve lay motionless on the floor and for a second, Jake was scared he may have gone too far. The feeling was short-lived when Steve turned over and stared at him with angry green eyes. “We’ve never come to blows over a woman before. Don’t you remember our motto? Bros before hoes.” Steve wiped the blood from his mouth.
“Shut your fucking mouth. Don’t you ever talk about Charlie like that again! She is not just a pussy. She’s the woman I love, and the mother of my child.” Jake yelled. Steve looked at Jake as if he had been hit again. “Yeah, that’s right. Charlie and I have a daughter together, a beautiful little girl, so if you ever refer to my daughter’s mother as just a ho again, I’ll fucking kill you,” Jake threatened.
“What the hell are you talking about? How can this be?” Steve was dumbfounded.
“When Charlie started working for the company, I was stunned. When you were talking about her, I instinctively knew she was the same Charlie Brown I met over three years ago. I told you I knew her but you chose not to believe me. I should have handled things differently but that makes no difference now.” Jake paused to rake his fingers through his hair. He didn’t really feel like explaining all this to Steve but Jake figured Steve should know where things stood between him and Charlie. “That day in the office when you saw Charlie running out, you got pissed at me. I would have explained the entire situation to you right then and there but you were sulking like a little bitch and you then refused to talk to me.”
Steve stared at Jake, trying to take this all in. “Where does a daughter fit into all this?”
“I found out Charlie had a daughter as a result of our previous encounter. I knew she was my daughter the minute I saw her. I won’t go into further details, but there you have it. I’m in love with Charlie and I have been for years now. I intend to ask her to marry me, so if you so much as say her name in that tone of voice…” Jake broke off.
Steve finally got up. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me all this?” Steve sounded hurt. “I’m supposed to be your best friend.”
“Because I know you, Steve. If I would have told you to back off or if I tried harder to explain I’d known her from years back, you would have seen that as a challenge. You would have gone after her anyway. I never minded the friendly competition before, but Charlie was different. And when you caught us in the office together, you were giving me the cold shoulder. When exactly did I have the chance to tell you after that, Steve?”
Steve had the good grace to look embarrassed. “But we’re best friend.” He rubbed his swollen face.
“Correction. We were best friends. After what you did today, I don’t even want to know you. Charlie’s reputation is mud all over the office and you’re partly to blame. If you didn’t work for MBF, I would tell you to stay the hell out of my life, but as it stands, I don’t want you to say anything to me unless it’s MBF related,” Jake finished coldly, looking his former friend up and down before he strode out the door.
“Jake, I don’t think he’s going to go away,” Jennifer said, interrupting him again.
“Please, Jake.” Steve’s voice came from the intercom.
What the hell? Knowing Steve, he wouldn’t go away until he had his say. Jake rubbed his temples.
“Okay, Jen. Send him in.”