CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE | SIENNA
Nothing seemed to work. Ace was heartbroken since Asher’s death and I knew there wasn’t much I could do to help him.
As long as I couldn’t bring his brother back to life, Ace was going to blame himself.
I tried to tell him and help him see that the situation was out of his control.
He wasn’t the one who led Asher to his death. Asher wanted to join the MC, he would have joined a different one or done something even more stupid if Ace forbade him from joining the High Rollers.
What happened to Asher was unfortunate and something that neither of us would ever get over, but it wasn’t something Ace could control.
But no matter how hard I tried to make him see, Ace refused to look at it that way.
He genuinely believed it was his duty to keep his brother safe and he’d been unsuccessful at it.
As my belly grew, the more of a reminder it was of the baby on its way.
I could see the faraway look in Ace’s eyes when he looked at me now.
Even though he didn’t explain himself to me, I knew what he was thinking. He was hoping he could keep our baby safe, the way he thought he’d failed to do with Asher.
I wanted Ace to see himself through my eyes. To see the man I saw when I looked at him.
The strong reliable man who was going to be the father of my baby.
No matter how much he doubted himself, I never would.
I knew for a fact that there was no safer place for our baby and me than here, right by his side where he would keep us safe.
Sometimes at night, when he thought I’d fallen asleep, Ace would get out of bed and pace around the apartment. I considered joining him sometimes, trying to calm him. I knew he was thinking about Asher.
He spent day and night trying to gather intel on what happened. Who’d ordered the hit on the MC that day.
But I hesitated from joining him because I wasn’t sure of what he wanted.
As the days passed and as I watched Ace becoming more angry with the world, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever get him back—the man I had fallen for, or had Asher’s death and his irreparable loss affected our lives forever.
I couldn’t imagine the pain and the heartache Ace was going through, and I hoped all he needed was time to heal, because this baby was coming.
I wanted us to be prepared to be parents and surround the baby with comfort and safety.
I needed Ace to be on his A game, but all I could see was him crumbling before my eyes. I loved him and I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how I could.
***
A week went by since Asher’s death and I was sure that nothing had changed. Each day was the same as the previous one, Ace refused to talk.
He’d retreated into a private shell and even though he still tried his best to look after my needs, I could sense he was miles away from me.
I was worried about his mental health and I wished I could help.
I was still hoping that all he needed was just a little more time.
Today was the day of the sonogram that would determine the gender of our baby.
It was a big day, and especially big because of how excited Asher had been to find out if he was having a nephew or a niece.
Ace went with me to the clinic and he held my hand through the whole procedure.
When the technician revealed to us our baby was a boy, Ace leaned in and kissed me and that was the first smile I’d seen on him in a week.
I knew that whatever little progress he was making back into the real world, it was because of the baby. This pregnancy was the only thing keeping him going.
We returned to the apartment and I clipped the sonogram to the top of the crib in the nursery.
Since Asher’s death, planning the decor of the rest of the nursery had come to a stand still, too. I just couldn’t bring myself to buy anything new or look at any new design ideas.
I couldn’t get Asher’s face out of my head. How excited he was to be involved in this baby’s life.
I was in the nursery, standing over the crib and thinking about Asher.
He would have been a great influence, the best uncle our little boy could have asked for.
I didn’t realize when Ace had come into the nursery and he’d been watching me.
I just felt his strong protective arm wind around my belly and his warm breath fall on my shoulder.
“We’re going to name him Asher,” he whispered and my heart quickened with joy.
I turned to look at my husband and he kissed my lips lovingly.
“I love you, Sienna, and I can’t wait to meet little Asher,” he continued and I stroked his beautiful blond hair and smiled.
“I can’t wait to meet him either.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. I’m sorry I haven’t exactly been there for you and the baby.”
I shook my head and leaned on him.
“You should take all the time you need to recover from this. We’re both hurting and this is going to be hard.”
He looked down at my belly and stroked it gently again.
“But this baby is going to be the blessing we need.”
I placed my head on his shoulder and slowly, we rocked together in the nursery.
Little Asher…that was our baby boy. Just a few more months and we were going to be a family.