Chapter Twenty-Two

Ryan

I can’t keep my eyes off her. If I thought Sophia was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen before, today confirms that supposition beyond any doubt. Right now, I know that Sophia is the most beautiful girl I will ever see in my entire life, period.

Apparently getting dressed up isn’t the normal kind of thing people do here, because when we rock up to the marriage bureaux to put our names down in the line, I realize I’m not the only person who can’t keep their eyes off Sophia. We all get our fair share of appreciative stares, but it’s Sophia, whose dress suits her so perfectly it looks like it’s been painted directly onto her skin by a renaissance master, who really steals the show.

Even the sour faced desk assistant has a twinkle in her eyes as we approach, unable to keep her stone cold heart from warming ever so slightly at the sight of us.

I feel a little overdressed amongst all of the other waiting couples, some of whom make the place look like a doctor’s surgery and not a marriage bureaux, but fuck it, I haven’t got dressed up for them, I’ve got dressed up for Sophia, and the way she reacted upon first contact makes me think it’s definitely been worth it.

We get the marriage licence and our identification checked out, put our names down in the queue and take some seats. Every ten minutes or so a new couple is called into a room just off the one we’re sat in, never to return to this one again, while from time to time new couples arrive to put their names down in the list like we’ve just done.

I’m holding Sophia’s hand tightly, while Alex and Alice sit across the aisle from us, both of them smiling at us reassuringly, this whole thing just as surreal for them, I’m sure. The entire room is practically as silent as a library and the nervous tension in here is so suffocating, I get the feeling that for almost everyone in here, actually getting married is the least of their worries.

I’m less nervous than I was before, but I’m still on edge, which is why when I hear our names being called sharply from the other side of the room, I practically jump right out of my skin.

“Ryan Speed and Sophia Moreaux?” the voice calls again, churning the French pronunciation of Sophia’s surname into something like the noise a happy cow might make.

“Yes”, I call over, which isn’t entirely necessary considering there isn’t anyone else on their feet right now. “Right here.”

“Follow me please”, she says and disappears through the door again.

“Ready?” I ask Sophia, just to make absolutely she’s not going to bolt at the very last minute.

Sophia smiles and pulls herself to her feet. “One hundred percent”, she says.

The room is nothing like I expect. Including the lady who has just come to collect us, who retakes her seat behind a long desk, there are two other men alongside her, and one other woman sitting at a desk to the side. There are about half a dozen rows of chairs, and the whole thing looks more like a courtroom than it does somewhere people come to get married.

We shuffle in, none one of us sure whether we should stand, take a seat, pledge allegiance or swear an oath, before we are invited to take a seat by the same woman who came to fetch us before.

The other woman sat at the desk to the side doesn’t seem to be interested in us at all, while the other three sit there and smile at us appreciatively.

“Ryan Carter Speed and Sophia Grace Moreaux?” the man in the middle of the three begins, before he looks at us all over the top of his glasses. He’s thick jowled, yellow skinned and has one of those faces that are impossible to age. He could be anywhere between thirty five or eighty five and to tell properly he’d probably have to be carbon dated.

The man to his left has thin lips, perfect posture and the kind of haircut that suggests a previous career in the military, while the woman who came to get us looks like she could probably take them both in a fight. She’s stocky, thick armed and square jawed. When the man in the middle takes off his glasses I realize he’s actually asked a question. I step forward with Sophia, while Alex and Alice stay seated.

“It’s us”, I say.

“Well, you look the part”, he says, waving his glasses loosely in the air to mark us out. “Not everyone goes to such lengths.”

“It’s not something you do every day”, Sophia says, the irony of that statement not lost on either of us.

“You tell that to my ex-wife”, he says, and puts his glasses back on. “Do you have the marriage licence and your identification?”

I step forward and hand them over. He takes a quick look at them before passing them to the guy on his right who jots something carefully down into a huge ledger he has in front of him. When he’s done, the licence gets passed to the woman at the desk to the side who takes it without even looking up.

“And the witness or witnesses?” he continues.

I turn to look at Alex and Alice who seem to be whispering to each other, giggling and ignoring completely what’s going on in the room.

“Alex”, I say. “Your identification.”

Alex snaps into action, reaches into his pocket for his wallet and hands over his ID. Alice does the same, and I hand both documents to the guy with the glasses. They go through the same process, passed once through the military guy to the right and then onto the disinterested woman sat at the desk to the side when he’s marked down into his ledger exactly what he needs to record.

“Good”, the main guy says. “That’s the official paperwork checked, which makes this whole process a lot smoother.” He pauses to regard us, his glasses off again as though they’re actually just a prop. “You can relax, you two look about as tense as a pair of wooden beams, what do you think, Margaret?”

“Wooden beams, Doug”, the woman at the desk to the side says without looking up. Sophia and I look at each other, while I take a deep breath and try to act normal.

“It’s only a wedding ceremony”, Doug says. “It’s the rest of the wedding you’re not supposed to enjoy, although you two look like you might actually last a bit longer at this than most people these days.”

I’m not entirely sure if this approach is normal, but I can’t say I don’t like it. As long as he lets us go through with this thing, and doesn’t call us out as pretending, I’m happy with whatever he wants to say to us.

“Was there anything that you wanted to do especially?”, the butch woman to Doug’s right says. “Any words or vows that you had prepared in advance, or are you happy just to have the standard ceremony?”

Sophia looks at me questioningly. “I think we just had the standard cermony in mind?” she asks, the statement inflected at the end and turned into a question.

“That’s fine”, the woman says, “we get a mix of requests in here, but the standard ceremony is absolutely fine.”

“How does that work exactly?”, I ask. “Sorry, it’s just that we’ve never done this before and they didn’t really explain it when we got the licence.”

“It’s alright”, the military guy says, “they never really do.”

“It’s all pretty straightforward”, Doug says, “that’s why they don’t really explain it. We ask you if you are sure you want to marry each other, again whether there is anything that legally prohibits you from doing so and then everyone signs the form and that’s it. It really is that simple.”

“Unless you want to do something more elaborate, of course, but that’s your choice”, the butch woman smiles at us. “Sometimes simple is better.”

“Getting married is pretty simple”, Margaret says, looking up at us for the very first time. “You apply for a licence, you show some identification, you come back here and wait in line, and then you come in here and get married, but I suspect that’s not really what you’re asking. Sophia, when your visa runs out in a couple of months, and if you both plan to stay in this country, you’ll need to begin the process to apply for one. Your situation is a little different to two American citizens coming here to perform a civil ceremony only because you are going to have to prove to the United States Citizen and Immigration services upon applying for that visa that your marriage is legitimate. They’ll ask you a bunch of questions about how you met, what you know about each other, what your relationship status and situation is and what you plan to do long term and you’ll have to send in documentation to support that. If they feel as though it is necessary, they’ll perform a series of interviews and they’ll visit you in person to assess your specific situation. It’s the USCIS that’s responsible for checking whether your relationship is legitimate not us, because it’s only at the point where ability to remain in the country legally becomes an issue that bothers anyone.”

I had absolutely no idea. I thought they’d be asking us all those questions here before getting married, not after we’ve done it. No wonder getting the licence was so simple. Thank God we’ve decided to do it now as well because that’ll give us much more time to get our stories straight, open a joint bank account, fill the computer with photos of us as a couple, and live together before we need to start her visa process.

“You guys will be fine”, Margaret goes on to say, this time her eyes back down to her desk. “I’ve been doing this job for almost forty years and over forty years you get a pretty good eye for working out the real ones from the ones trying to pull a fast one. It’s in the look”, she says. “If you want to know the secret.”

Sophia squeezes my hand tightly.

“Finished?” Doug asks her, like a husband berating his wife for taking two hours to recount something than should have taken two minutes.

“Just providing some helpful information”, Margaret says, almost to herself.

“So, now you know”, Doug says. “We’re just the guys that perform the ceremony officially giving you two the legal status of matrimony. It’s the USCIS that are the real ball breakers, but believe me, you guys will be fine. I presume you’ve got your entire relationship documented on social media so one look at that and they’ll move onto the next couple. And you’re French anyway”, he adds. “We like the French.”

This is definitely not an official script he’s working from, but I’m not going to complain.

“Thank you”, Sophia says.

“How long have you been in New York?” the military guy asks.

“Almost a year”, Sophia says. “I’m finishing up my masters.”

“Good for you”, he says, his eyes brightening.

“Shall we?” Doug says, taking back his role as protagonist, clearly unhappy that he has to share it in the first place.

“Yes”, I agree. “We are ready whenever you are.”

“Rings?” Doug asks.

I shake my head.

“Good, it’s better that way, less complicated”, Doug says. “Ryan Carter Speed, do you take Sophia Grace Moreaux to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish her for as long as you both shall live.”

I look at Sophia briefly, her eyes wet with tears, and then back to the panel in front of me.

“Fuck yes, I do”, I say and squeeze her hand, while Alex cheers from the seat behind me.

Doug clears his throat. “Thank you, Ryan, for that entirely superfluous albeit emphatic response. Sophia Grace Moreaux, do you take Ryan Carter Speed to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish him for as long as you both shall live.”

Sophia doesn’t even hesitate this time, doesn’t even pause theatrically, barely doesn’t even let Doug finish his sentence. “I do”, she says, and Alice joins in the whooping.

“Fantastic”, Doug says. “And that’s a hell of a pair of lungs you’ve got, Alex.”

“Is that it?” I ask. “Are we married?”

“Almost”, Doug says. “This isn’t upload it and it’s there straight away, there are a couple more things and then the signing of the certificate, but you’ll be out of here in a while so you can get drunk or high or whatever it is that you kids get up to these days for fun, don’t worry.”

Sophia laughs, but the way he looks at us makes me think that he wasn’t intentionally trying to be funny.

He’s right though, I can’t wait for this to be over, so we can go and celebrate and then head back home to carry on what we’ve already started. This has turned out to be way easier than I thought it would be, and now Margaret's given us the lowdown on who holds the keys to Sophia’s success in staying here, I feel a lot more relaxed. All we’re going to need to do is send in a few documents and then prove that we’re together because we love each other, which doesn’t seem all that far from the truth right now.

Dead aunt Caroline’s inheritance couldn’t be further from my thoughts at the moment, but when the time comes to claim it, it’s going to feel like winning the lottery for the second time round, because just looking at Sophia tells me I’ve already won the jackpot once.

“Is there any reason you both can’t legally be married?” Doug asks. “And I hope the answer to that is no, because I should have asked it first.”

“No”, Sophia and I say in chorus. “No”, Alice and Alex add.

“Good”, Doug says, putting down his notes. “That’s a relief. I don’t even know why they put that question in there because in the fifteen years I’ve been doing this, no one has ever answered yes.” Doug pauses briefly, as though he’s forgotten what comes next and then suddenly snaps back into action. “You can sign the licence now, take some photos if you like, some people like to hang them up in hallways as a souvenir.”

We step up to Margaret’s desk, and sign the licence in the spaces provided for us. When Alice and Alex have down the same, the licence passes from Margaret to the military guy, from the military guy to the butch woman, and eventually from the butch woman to Doug.

When Doug has finished signing he looks up to us both, while we stand there with baited breath unsure if this thing is official yet.

“Well, what are you waiting for”, Doug says. “Kiss her before she gets away. You guys just got married.”

I can’t hear anything else but Alex’s thunderous cheers while I prepare to pull Sophia into me slowly and seductively, for our first kiss as husband and wife. She messes that plan up completely, of course, when she jumps the gun, grabs hold of my tie, jerks my mouth down towards hers insistently and kisses me so passionately I feel heat rising up through my torso like mercury through a thermometer in the heart of summer. The kiss is so good it literally takes my breath away, and when Sophia finally lets me go, I have to gulp at the air like a goldfish just to stop myself from passing out.

“Okay?” she asks me, but I’m too stunned to find the words to respond.

“You’re a lucky guy, Ryan”, Doug says, as he takes a look at us both. “Make sure you don’t forget it.”

The rest is a bit of a blur. We collect the certificate, we thank the weird, unconventional panel, I shake Doug’s hand and give Margaret and awkward hug, and before we know it, we’re back outside again, we’re husband and wife, and the whole thing has taken less than fifteen minutes.

I stand there in shock, the whole world going on as normal around us while everyone else wears the same expression as mine that says: did that actually just happen?

“So”, Alex says. “Feel any different?”

“A whole lot more relaxed”, I confess. “I was shaking like a leaf before we went in.”

“Me too”, Sophia says. “I can’t believe it was that simple.”

“You guys are married!” Alex says excitedly. “Actually legally married.”

Sophia looks embarrassed, her cheeks reddening. “That was awesome”, she confesses, her beautiful chocolate brown eyes all over me. I know that look and it’s making me burn up from the inside out. I don’t know how long I’m going to last before I insist we head back home and consummate this thing because right now I’m about as horny as it gets.

“It hasn’t finished yet”, Alex says. “This is your wedding day, and I’ve got a speech lined up.”

“I don’t know, Alex”, I say. “I’m sure Sophia isn’t interested in that.”

“No, I’m interested”, Sophia says. “And I’m hungry too.”

“You’ve got to celebrate”, Alice insists. “You can fuck each other’s brains out afterward. I mean, it wasn’t like you didn’t wait two months to do it in the first place so a few hours now isn’t going to kill you is it? We might as well make the most of our outfits too, we’ve barely had them on an hour.”

“We have the play”, I remind everyone, partly thinking about the fact that we shouldn’t get drunk and then go on stage, but mostly about the fact that if I don’t get Sophia into bed before we get to the theatre I might just explode half way through the performance. I pull her into me, just to feel her against my body. I know it’s a little bit selfish, but I guess as her husband I get the right now, because I want her all to myself as well.

“Lunch”, Alex says. “Then speech, then you guys can get the play out of the way while Alice and I get drunk and we can meet each other later.”

“That sounds like a fantastic plan”, Alice says, apparently speaking for all of us. “I’ll go and hail a cab.”

She’s off before I’ve had a chance to stop her, Alex in her wake like a little puppy chasing after its mother.

“Does he know she’s got a boyfriend?” Sophia says.

“Yep, he knows. Doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop him trying though.”

Sophia laughs. “This whole thing is way too surreal for me. I mean, look at us. I’ve never dressed this way in my life, not even for a play.”

“We look fantastic”, I say. “You especially.”

“Look at me”, Sophia says, turning into me.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because I want to see if it’s true.”

I hold her gaze silently while Sophia beams up at me, her cheeks beginning to redden. “Well?” I ask, unable to keep a smile off my face. If she’s seeing in my eyes what I’m seeing in hers, this marriage is going to be a very happy one indeed.

Sophia leans into me, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply. “Me too”, she says, to the very thing I’ve had pounding away in my head pretty much since the first week after we met and haven’t even needed to say. She’s read my mind because my eyes aren’t lying.

“Smile”, Alice calls out to us, and as we turn towards her voice so she can take our very first photo as husband and wife, the pair of us can’t stop laughing.