Monday 5th November
Alice
I can’t believe Tom left me like that. The whole day was a bit of a head-fuck. First trying to keep everything calm between the girls and Amber, then meeting Tom’s parents, and him having a go at me. Way to make everything awkward Tom.
I had no idea that Tom had taken my rejection so hard. I assumed for a manwhore like him, his ego would be battered for a few days and then he’d get over it. Move on to the next vagina with legs.
But there he was showing me he cared. Whether he cared about me, or just the fact that someone said no I’m still not sure. It can’t have helped that his dad was so on his case. I was stunned he was so blunt with me there. My parents wouldn’t dare be so rude in front of a guest. They’re all about show and how things would look to outsiders.
I tried calling him when we were driving back, but he dodged my calls. He only got back late last night and went straight to bed. I despise this awkwardness. This is why living with girls is easier, even Princess Barbie was a breeze compared to this.
So today I’ve decided I’m going to his work with a picnic. I don’t care if he says he doesn’t have time for lunch. I’ll unpack it at his desk if I have to. This way we can discuss everything and get it out in the open. Pickles is at doggy day care, so we’ll have no distractions.
I tell the woman at reception that I’m Tom’s roommate and she buzzes me straight through. God, I could be any nutter. I go into the open plan office searching for him as people stop, turn, and stare at me. Yes, I suppose I could have done with a more low-key outfit, but what can I say? I dress to impress.
I’m wearing my turquoise floral tea dress, and my red, satin, polka-dot peep-toe heels, with my navy cape keeping me warm. I knew if I wanted to win back Tom’s affections I’d have to look the part. Men are always so visual, and I’d guess Tom is even more so. He can’t resist a pretty girl, especially one with food.
I’m just about to give up when a young guy walks up to me. ‘Hi, can I help you?’ He can’t stop looking at my shoes. Pervert.
‘Yeah, I’m looking for Tom Maddens.’
He smiles. ‘Well, Tom’s a lucky man. He’s just around the corner to the right.’
‘Thanks.’ I force a polite smile and move on quickly. Creep.
I’m just rounding the corner when I spot him at the printer. I’m just about to call out to him when a woman in her forties or fifties with far too much make-up on sidles past him, pauses and strokes his bum. Did I really just see that right?
Tom jumps out of his skin, then turns to face her, his skin pale. He smiles, but even from here I can tell it’s forced. His eyes aren’t wrinkled, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable by how he’s standing. She winks at him and walks away. What the hell was that?
He turns fully around and spots me, his face lighting up with a genuine smile. I can’t help but feel special.
‘Alice,’ he says walking towards me. ‘Hey. Is everything okay?’
‘Yep, all fine. I’m just here to take you out for lunch.’ I raise the basket as if to prove it.
‘Oh. Okay, let me just grab my phone.’
He darts towards his desk, grabs it and then walks back over.
‘That looks heavy. Want me to carry it?’
Sometimes it’s hard to digest when he’s being such a gentleman. It’s easy to forget he has manners when half the time he’s acting like a prepubescent little boy.
‘I even made you a ham sandwich.’
His mouth gapes open just as we go outside. ‘You’re joking? You bought and touched meat?’
I stifle a giggle. ‘Okay, no. I bought it at the deli already done.’
He shrugs with a laugh. ‘You still paid for it.’
‘Yep,’ I nod. ‘You owe me three-pounds-fifty.’ He turns to look at me, eyes wide. I burst out laughing.
‘Yeah, you’re bumped,’ he grins. ‘I’m going to call your veggie leader and report you.’
I roll my eyes. ‘We’re not a cult, Tom. We just don’t like eating flesh.’
He raises his eyebrows. ‘No need to be so dramatic. Anyway, where do you wanna eat?’
‘What about this park?’ I say, pointing across the road.
‘Perfect.’
He shocks me by looping his arm through mine. I look down at it then back at his face. It’s as if he hasn’t even noticed the unconscious action, instead concentrating on crossing us over the road safely.
As soon as we’ve crossed and are onto the grass, I bend over and take my shoes off. I don’t want to get them ruined and I love any chance to get my feet onto grass or sand. To really feel the earth underneath my feet. It’s quite fair today, with only a slight chill in the air.
I take the blanket from my basket, lay it down next to some pretty violas, and perch on the edge. Tom flops down onto his stomach next to me.
‘Give me the ham sandwich.’ he says, his eyes lit up with excitement.
I hand it over and then get out my feta salad. ‘So, who was that cougar that grazed your arse earlier?’
He frowns, looking down at his sandwich. ‘Huh?’ he asks, vaguely. It’s clear he doesn’t want to elaborate.
Tom acting shy and vague? This must be a bigger issue than I first thought.
‘You know exactly who I’m talking about. Who is she?’
His shoulders slump. ‘She’s my boss.’
I freeze with my fork mid-air. ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’
His boss is touching his arse? How fucking inappropriate is that? I thought it was bad enough when it was some horny colleague, but his boss? That’s bloody sexual harassment in the workplace.
‘Nope. My boss.’
Then it dawns on me. He’s sleeping with his boss, or at least has slept with her in the past. Probably regrets it now that she’s wanting more.
‘You’re sleeping with her?’ I blurt out.
His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, then sadden. ‘Really, Alice? That’s the first thing you think? That I’m sleeping with her?’
Ooops. But... yeah, of course I thought he was sleeping with her.
‘I’m sorry. So... you’re not?’
He rolls his eyes. ‘No, Alice. Jesus, is that so hard to believe? But she wants me to. It’s getting awkward as fuck.’
‘Shit, Tom, you need to report her. She can’t get away with that.’
He rolls his eyes. ‘Well, she is.’
How can he be so laid back about this? If this was happening to me he’d be the first one to kick off. Probably try to kill the guy.
‘Wait, how long has this been going on?’ I ask, staring at him intently.
He tries to shift his eyes away from me, but I follow them and wait until he’s staring back. He blows out a breath in a clear attempt to relax himself.
‘Since I started,’ he finally admits. ‘But it’s fine, she’s just a woman.’
I nearly choke on my salad. ‘Okay, first of all, no one is just a woman. And secondly it doesn’t matter what sex she is. It’s sexual harassment.’
He scoffs a laugh. ‘I’m a big boy. I’m not gonna get talked into sleeping with her.’
‘That’s beside the point!’ I bark, nearly losing it. ‘She shouldn’t be doing this at all. If it were a man doing this to a new female employee, you’d think it was outrageous.’
‘Yeah, but I’m not some meek female. Seriously, I can handle it.’
Meek female? This man is such a cave boy.
I roll my eyes heavenwards. ‘Ugh, fine.’ I throw myself down onto the grass and look up at the sky. A big grey cloud is looming, threatening to cover our sunshine soon. It reminds me of our current situation and why I’m trying to offer an olive branch.
I roll onto my side.
‘Anyway, Tom. I wanted to talk about us.’
He frowns. ‘There is no us.’
Ouch. I get up and walk over to the violas, attempting to cheer myself up. That’s why I like them, they always seem so happy with their smiley look.
‘Look, you seem to have taken my rejection really hard. I just wanted to say that it’s not that I don’t like you.’
‘You just don’t fancy me?’ he asks with a cocky smile.
I think about it for a second, pretending to study the violas. ‘No, I do fancy you.’ His mouth falls open. ‘In fact, sometimes when I’m around you, I feel myself starting to act like an idiot and that’s why we can never be. I need to focus on my career right now, and I can’t let any silly infatuation take up my time.’
He grins, his eyes devilish. ‘Infatuation? Alice, are you infatuated with me?’
I sit back down and snort a laugh. ‘No. I didn’t mean it like that.’
He shuffles closer, our faces so close I can feel his breath against my cheek. He trails his thumb down my cheek, causing goose-pimples in its wake. I try with all of my might not to lean into his hand when in reality I want nothing more.
I close my eyes in a bid to escape his searching stare. When I open them he’s still there, still looking at me in wonder as if I’m the most perfect thing he’s ever seen. I stare down at his lips. God, I could just move a few centimetres and they’d be on mine.
I bite my lip subconsciously.
‘You’re killing me here, Alice.’ Tom whispers, his voice husky.
I’m just about to lean in when a big fat droplet of water hits my nose. I look up in bewilderment. The dark cloud is over us now. Another rain droplet falls before a heavy shower takes hold in seconds.
‘Shit!’
We both jump up, throw the food into the basket and Tom grabs it. Using the blanket to shelter us, we run to stand under a huge oak tree people have congregated under. We shiver, attempting to shake off some of the rain from our bodies.
I can barely look Tom in the face. I can’t believe I was going to kiss him! What is going on with me?
‘I’m sorry your dad was a dick to you,’ I blurt out over the thundering shower, desperate to change the subject away from us.
He politely smiles with a nod, his gaze falling to the floor. ‘It’s fine. He’s not always been like this. I think I’ve just pushed him too far over the last few years.’
I chuckle. ‘And I bet it doesn’t help that your mum thinks the sun shines out of your arse.’
He laughs. ‘I can’t help it if I’m her little prince.’
My God, no wonder he’s so self-assured and useless around the house. That mother has spoilt him rotten.
‘Anyway, your dad wasn’t even that bad. If you met my parents, you’d have a bloody shock.’
This seems to pique his interest. ‘Why are they so bad?’
I shrug. ‘They’re not, I suppose. Just... very judgemental and standoffish.’
‘No way?’ he laughs. ‘I saw you being raised by hippies.’
‘What? Because of the red hair and wacky clothes? God, Tom, you’re so one-dimensional.’
‘Hey! No, I’m not.’
‘Whatever. I actually felt more welcome at your parents than I ever have at mine.’
‘You’re having me on. They can’t be that bad!’
I scoff. ‘Trust me, I’m not. I have to go for dinner this weekend for my mum’s birthday and I’m already dreading it.’
‘I’m gonna have to see this to believe it, I’m afraid,’ he challenges, his arms crossed over his chest.
‘What?’ I splutter. ‘You want to come to Sunday lunch with my family?’
He nods.
‘You’re insane! Why on earth would you want to put yourself through that?’
‘Because I think you’re being dramatic, and because I want to see what kind of people created Alice.’
I can’t help but feel flattered that he wants to know more about me. Not that I’m anything like those people.
‘I am not a representation of these people. I’m this awesome despite coming from them.’
He frowns for a second. ‘Wait, are you saying they like...’ he drops his voice to a whisper, ‘abused you or something?’
‘God, no! They’re not that bad. They’re just stuck up is all.’
‘Well then, fine. Tell them to fix one extra place setting. I’ll be there.’
* * *
Wednesday 7th November
Tom
I meet Jack at the gym after work. I need to work away some of this tension in my body. Between the flirtatious boss whose attention I don’t want, and Alice’s wavering attention that I’m desperate for, I’m a big ball of stress. Plus, it doesn’t help that Alice’s bedroom is only across the hallway from mine. Whenever I wank, I’m terrified she’s going to hear me and know I’m doing it.
I’m already on the treadmill when Jack joins me on the next one, fuming. I’ve known him long enough to know by his red ears and tense jaw.
‘Who shit in your milkshake?’ I ask him with a grin.
‘It’s not funny,’ he snaps. ‘I’ve just got off the phone with Amber. She says the girls went down at the weekend and confronted her about her issues with Erica.’
‘Oh.’ Shit. She grassed on us. Wait, it doesn’t sound like she said I was there, so I’m in the clear for now. ‘What was she saying?’
‘Ugh, she was screaming that any decision she makes will be hers and she won’t be intimidated by Erica’s mates. Can you fucking believe they were stupid enough to do that? They’ve made everything one hundred times worse.’
Shit. I have to tell him.
‘Look, they were only trying to help.’
He turns to stare at me, almost falling off the treadmill. ‘You mean, you assume they were trying to help?’
I look down at my feet.
‘Right, Tom?’ His voice is rising more by the second. ‘You didn’t know about this, did you?’
I blow out a defeated breath. ‘Okay, I did.’
‘Are you fucking kidding me? How could you not have warned me?’
A few people turn to stare at us.
‘Look, I tried to talk them out of it,’ I say quietly, waiting for the spectators to get bored and look away. ‘But you know that lot when they get an idea in their head. They’re unstoppable. So...’
‘So...?’ Jack asks, his jaw ticking with rage.
‘So, I kind of went with them.’
‘WHAT?’ More people turn to stare.
‘Only to make sure they were restrained! And Jack, they were. I kept everything calm. If she’s saying they were rowdy, she’s talking crap.’
He slows down the treadmill until it stops. ‘She said if I ever want Esme down here then I’ll have to take her to court.’
Shit. I can’t believe Amber is being so bloody unreasonable. I mean, I get that she’s her mother and is going to be protective, but Jack has always been a stand-up father. I don’t think he’s asking for much. He’s said he’d drive up there to collect her and it wouldn’t be every time he had her.
‘Maybe it’s time to think about court then?’
He sighs. ‘But how much will that cost? It’s not like I have shit loads in savings.’
‘Just speak to a solicitor. Get an idea. You’ll feel better after.’
‘Okay. You’re right.’ He slaps me on the back. ‘Thanks, Tom. I’m so glad I’ve got at least one of you that lives here now. Even if you do insist on doing stupid shit behind my back.’
I roll my eyes. ‘Don’t be getting emotional on me, Jack. I’ll have to go and buy you tampons.’