It had been only five days since I played and my fitness and motivation were already slipping away. Here I was deep-water running, lap after boring lap, for the third consecutive Groundhog Day.
Bruce, Joel and a few of the others had stopped by to have a chat when I was in the gym this morning. Craig came in and invited me to sit in on their martial arts class with the Australian national karate champion.
They were trying to keep me included, but the thing was, I didn’t want to be. I’d feel even more isolated as the only person not taking part than I felt here in the water. If I knew it would only be a week or two that I’d be out of the loop, instead of nearly three months, I might have felt differently about it.
If it wasn’t for Anna, I would’ve been beyond miserable by now. Having her in my head was the only thing that got me through these endless laps up and down the pool. I was completely, one hundred per cent obsessed with that woman.
When I wasn’t with her, I was counting the hours until I was. And when I was with her I couldn’t get enough of her. Every time she sent me a text message, I got a hard-on. Every. Single. Time. It was like I was fifteen again.
Being the first guy she’d kissed was more special to me than I would ever have thought. But it came at a price – she refused to get naked, and if my hands wandered, she put a stop to it. It was just kissing and more kissing. When it did finally happen between us it was going to go off for sure.
‘Shit!’ I almost lost my balance when Craig stepped in front of me as I hopped out of the hydrotherapy room on the crutches. ‘Sorry, Craig. Didn’t see you there, mate.’
‘Yeah, you were a million miles away.’ He crossed his arms and blocked my way. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’
His tone and expression sent a burning drip down into my stomach.
‘Home. I’ve just done my hour in the pool.’
‘I was watching you, Nick, slow as a snail. Get back in the water. I want another twenty minutes of laps. Run like you mean it this time.’ He didn’t blink.
I hung my head. ‘Okay.’
Craig had never once had me repeat a drill before. He had to with some of the others. Never with me.
‘And I heard you ditched gym after half an hour yesterday. It’s only week one of rehab. You can’t be this slack in week one when you’ve got nine to go.’ He turned to leave. ‘On second thoughts make it forty minutes, not twenty. And make them count,’ he called over his shoulder.
When the door shut, I was alone in my glass cell again.
I ripped the towel off my waist and flicked it down hard on the floor, strapped the weighted vest back on my chest and set the timer on my watch for sixty minutes, not forty. I ran so hard that by the time I got out, much of the floor area around the pool was drenched.
‘That’s more like it, Harding!’ Craig shouted from the corner of the gym on my way out.
Pretending not to hear him, I pushed the door open and left.
It was Anna’s mother who answered when I knocked on the door of the house at the back of the restaurant.
I’d spent a couple of hours last night reading about her online, and by the end I was stunned that I’d never known who she was before.
Leila Hayati was a powerhouse – a force. I watched video after video of her passionate speeches about the decline of Egypt and how her party planned to revive the country.
She looked the same in all her photos, whether she was shaking hands with Pope Francis in the Vatican or sharing a private joke with the Queen. She was always dressed in darkcoloured pant suits with barely any makeup and her hair pulled back in a ponytail.
And even though I knew I shouldn’t, and I felt horrible for doing it, after resisting for two days, I just had to watch the clip of Anna’s dad and sister walking down a sunny street in Alexandria along with their bodyguard to a waiting limousine. Anna’s identical twin, Noor, was exactly that in the video – identical to Anna, just with longer hair. Which is why I choked down vomit when she spotted the camera and stared straight into it with a quizzical squint, before the driver opened the back door for her. She climbed into the car two or three seconds before it erupted in a giant ball of explosive fire.
I tasted blood and realised I’d bitten a hole into my cheek as I listened to the bearded militant arsehole whose face flashed on screen after footage of the bomb cut out. Just as Anna had told me, the subtitles read that Anna would be beheaded while Leila was made to watch, and that the execution footage would be released to the public if either of them ever returned to Egypt. Then the picture changed to a menacing static bringing to an end the two and a half minutes of evil I’d just witnessed.
I sat there unmoving, staring at the blank screen of my Mac for close to an hour afterwards.
As Leila stood before me at the front door now, it was hard to reconcile her with the woman I’d seen online. If it wasn’t for her long dark ponytail, she would have been unrecognisable. Her cheeks were sunken and her eyes were too large for her face. The power suit was replaced with jeans and a plain black T-shirt that hung off her shoulders.
She held out a bony hand. I was surprised to find she had a firm, almost too firm, handshake.
When she smiled at me her white lips cracked, but the smile didn’t reach her sad puffy eyes, with their black bags underneath.
‘Hello, Nick, I’m Anna’s mother, Leila. Welcome.’ Her accent was mild and the ease with which the words rolled off her tongue showed that English was obviously second nature to her, unlike the concerted effort Anna made when she spoke.
I cleared my throat. ‘Hello, Mrs Hayati. It’s great to meet you.’
‘Call me Leila. I’ve heard good things about you from Anna.’ She indicated with her arm for me to come in. ‘She’s nearly ready.’
I stared at her pointy elbows as she walked ahead of me.
‘You can wait here.’ She pointed to a small lounge area and disappeared through a doorway, calling out Anna’s name. Her voice cracked and she coughed before trying again.
I didn’t even notice the bald little boy, tucked up in a beanbag in the corner behind a couch, covered to his neck in a brown blanket, until he coughed.
My breath caught. I waved to him from where I stood. ‘Are you Ricky, mate?’
He nodded. ‘Are you Nick?’ he said with a huge smile that showed his missing front teeth.
I nodded. ‘I am.’
‘I barrack for the Rangers now,’ he announced. ‘I was Lions before, but not anymore.’
His dark skin was blotchy with itchy-looking rashes on his cheeks and forehead.
‘Cool!’ I dropped the crutches and hobbled over, lowering myself down until I was sitting next to him on the carpet. ‘Lions, hey? What made you go for a Brisbane team?’
‘To annoy Ahmo Fariz.’ He grinned. ‘But now I’ve changed to the Rangers, because yesterday Anna said I have to or else I had to stay in hospital and I wouldn’t be allowed to come home.’
I laughed. ‘You could be both, Lions and Rangers, and when we play each other you can’t lose.’
He thought about this for a minute. ‘Do you like SpongeBob?’ He looked at me sideways and I felt like our new friendship depended on my answer.
‘I’ve seen every SpongeBob episode ever made,’ I answered truthfully.
‘Yeah, I’ll just go for the Rangers now,’ he said solemnly.
These kids always got to me. I’d spent a heap of time in hospitals with them as part of club duties. But this one was special to Anna. Maybe she could bring him over on Saturday and we could watch the away match together.
‘So what year are you in at school, Ricky?’
‘I’m in Year One. But I only went for one week and then I got sick again. Anna said I can go back next week but Leila said it’s too soon and I need to stay home.’
‘So who’ll win that argument do you think?’
He took a few seconds to consider his answer. ‘Anna. Leila always forgets what she says.’
On cue, Leila walked in to the room, followed by Anna, who blushed a deep red when we made eye contact.
My eyes just about fell out of my head. A sparkly silver clip held her hair off her face. There were no spikes in it today, it was just soft. A short red-and-white dress showed off her gorgeous curves, and strappy heels drew my eyes to her toned legs. It was also the first time I’d seen her with makeup on.
She was beyond beautiful.
‘Oh my God,’ I breathed. ‘You look . . . stunning. So beautiful.’
She reached a hand up to fiddle with her hair clip.
I suddenly felt underdressed in my white T-shirt and denim shorts.
‘You did not get dressed up, Nick.’ She bit the corner of her lip. ‘Should I change?’
‘No, don’t.’ I stood up. ‘You look too perfect to change.’
‘Okay, if you think so, I will stay as I am.’
I really did miss her hokays.
She kissed Leila on the cheek, and bent down to give Ricky a cuddle, lingering near him. ‘Are you sure you will be all right, habibi? Ahmo Fariz will take your beanbag to the kitchen and you can watch TV there.’ She looked at Leila. ‘Promise me, ya Mama, you will do nothing to alarm anyone while I am out? Yes? Mesh keda?’
‘Yes, yes. Aiwa keda, ya habibti. Go, go! Have fun. Be young.’ Leila shooed at her.
Anna turned to Ricky. ‘Call me if you need me. Call me, you hear?’
He nodded.
‘And is your phone charged and with the ringer on full volume?’ Anna checked with him.
He held up his phone to show her.
I said my goodbyes and we left. It was another scorcher outside as the autumn heat wave raged on, but that wasn’t why my palms were sweaty.
As soon as we were in the car, I turned to her. ‘Are you sure you’re still happy to come out? It’s totally okay if you want to cancel. Lil won’t mind. I feel bad stealing you away on Ricky’s first night home.’
‘Mama is much better tonight. And my uncle and aunty are wonderful with Ricky.’ She patted her purse and smiled. ‘I have my phone right here if he needs me.’
Yesterday, she’d told me how Ricky had come into her life through Asylum Assist.
‘I visited him when he was transferred from off shore to the hospital, because being an orphaned child, he was under the care of Asylum Assist. His future was so uncertain. He broke my heart. And he was such a brave, sweet little boy too. I knew that Allah had meant for Ricky to come to us. He needed a mother and Mama needed a purpose. I took Mama with me to the hospital and she has been at his side since.’
‘There’s no chance that he could be taken away from you all now, is there? Made to go back to Bluff Island?’
‘No, he will not be taken away.’ She paused. ‘Except if Allah takes him away.’
I squeezed her hand.
‘Did you ever track down any of his remaining family?’ I asked.
‘No, there is no family.’ She sighed. ‘After his parents escaped, their entire village in Nigeria was massacred by the military because it was suspected they were hiding members of Boko Haram there. The entire village gone. The military did it as a warning to others. Can you believe it? So he has no relatives at all left – they either drowned or were killed.’ Her voice cracked.
After I researched Leila last night I also looked up the town Anna said Ricky was from, Baga. I wished I hadn’t. I’d never be able to get those images of the children’s bloodied bodies stacked on top of each other out of my head. Having now met Ricky, the idea that it could have been him . . .
Anna broke into my thoughts. ‘You do not need to look so worried, Nick. It took me a long time to get ready for our first date and I insist you take me out!’
‘Okay, let’s go, then.’ I started the engine, then remembered what was on the back seat. ‘Hey, I bought you these. To mark the occasion.’ I reached for the long-stemmed red roses I’d stopped to buy on the way to her house.
‘Oh! I have never been given flowers before. Thank you!’ She buried her nose in the roses. ‘They smell beautiful. You spoiled me.’ She looked at me over the top of the bouquet.
‘I wish I could take you back to my place now instead of Lil’s.’ I ran my finger along her bare collarbone. She rested her head on the headrest, giving me her sexiest look.
‘Maybe we can go to your house after dinner for just a little while, Nicholas Harding. What do you think?’
‘I think a little while is all I need.’ I took her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers while I drove away from the restaurant. I was already turned on just imagining the kissing we’d do later.
We pulled up at Lily’s and I parked behind an unfamiliar black ute.
The Rangers team song blared at us when I pressed the doorbell. I pointed out the ‘Rangers Fans Only’ doormat to Anna and rolled my eyes.
She laughed. ‘So what? She is proud of her brother. You should be flattered.’
‘She’s as mortified about it as I am,’ I replied. ‘It’s all my mum’s doing.’
Lily swung the door wide open. Without looking at me, she threw her arms around Anna and her squeal was so piercing I winced. ‘Anna! Oh my God, I’ve been so excited waiting for you! Did you know I was Nick’s sister?’
Anna’s smile was the biggest I’d seen it. Her words tumbled out. ‘Only after I last saw you. But of course I should have known immediately because you are so similar to each other!’
Then Lily turned me and roared, ‘You’re a douche!’
A guy appeared in the doorway and draped his arm casually over Lily’s shoulder, resting his fingers lightly on her breast. How was he that familiar with her already? I gave him the once over. He was too old for her – at least thirty. He had a cigarette lighter poking out the front pocket. I didn’t like this guy.
He smiled at me in a way that I recognised – an overawed Rangers’ fan smile – but he quickly collected himself and extended his hand. ‘Hi, mate. I’m Toby. Toby Watts. How’s it going?’
I gave him the firmest handshake I could and stifled a smile when he grimaced. ‘G’day, I’m Nick.’
‘Hey, there.’ Toby turned his attention to Anna and gave her a warm smile. ‘I know you!’
‘Hello, Toby.’ Anna smiled back. ‘This is amazing – the two of you together!’
I cleared my throat. ‘Ah, I’m kind of lost here. How do you two know each other? Actually how do you two know each other as well?’ I nodded at Toby and Lily.
Toby looked at Lily. ‘Ah, Lily and I met at the hospital café on the weekend.’ He turned back to Anna. ‘And Anna was sitting at our table when we met. But I’d seen Anna around before that.’
‘You only met him on Saturday?’ I gave Lily a look.
‘You and I only met on Sunday,’ Anna said.
I couldn’t argue with that, so I ignored the comment.
‘So you said you and Anna knew each other already? How?’ I asked Toby.
‘Um . . . from the oncology ward.’ He shuffled his feet.
Anna gave me a quick warning glance and then she clapped her hands together. ‘When I saw you both in the café, I knew in my heart it was fate that you met.’
Toby raised an eyebrow and murmured, ‘See? Fate,’ to Lily.
I saw the look that passed between them and I didn’t like it.
‘Come in, everyone!’ Lily shouted way louder than necessary.
Anna turned to me just before we followed them inside. ‘Be nice!’ she whispered.
Lily tied on a bright orange apron and started frying thin strips of beef and chicken, red capsicum and onion in a large frypan.
Toby joined her and set about mashing an avocado. She said something in his ear and he grinned.
The hairs on the back of my neck rose.
‘How’s Ricky gone at home today?’ Lily asked Anna.
‘Very well. It is like he never left. Toby, I will not be at the hospital anymore,’ she explained.
‘Neither will I,’ Toby said in a quiet voice. ‘Jen passed away on Monday.’
‘Oh no!’ Anna put her hand over her mouth. ‘I’m very sorry to hear this.’
Toby smiled with his lips together. He cast a quick glance at me and looked down. His jaw clenched while he continued to mash the avocado.
There was something fishy about that Jen.
‘Was that a relative of yours, Toby? The one who was in hospital?’ I crunched on a corn chip. It was hard to keep the accusation out of my tone.
‘Actually she was my wife.’
The chip caught in my throat and I spluttered and coughed. Anna passed me a glass of water that I gratefully took.
Lily rested her palm on Toby’s shoulder. ‘Toby cared for Jenny right up until she passed away, even though they’d actually split up years before.’
Anna cooed at this.
‘What?’ It came out sharper than I planned.
‘Jen moved back in with me, before she was admitted to palliative care.’ He looked me right in the eye.
‘That seems strange – living with your ex-wife.’ I returned the stare. I didn’t care if it pissed him off. This was my little sister’s heart at stake.
‘Not ex-wife.’ He crossed his arms. ‘Just wife. We were separated, not divorced.’
I could almost feel him daring me to challenge him.
Bloody oath I’d challenge him! What the fuck was he doing with my sister?
‘Huh, well. Things have moved pretty fast for you two, considering . . .’ I trailed off.
He shrugged defiantly.
Lily put down the wooden spoon she’d been using and glared at me.
Nobody said anything for a while.
‘We only met on Sunday.’ Anna broke the silence.
‘My wife didn’t just die, though,’ I replied, keeping my eyes locked on Toby’s.
The room fell silent again.
I dropped the crutches, sat down and took two cleansing breaths like the team was taught to do by a sports psychologist last year. Take two cleansing breaths and focus on one of the five senses.
Smell. The whole room smelt of Lily’s cooking.
Anna joined me at the dinner table and rested her hand on my thigh. She gave it a couple of sharp squeezes. The message was clear – ease up.
I brought to mind the line I used to get myself out of confrontations on the field whenever I felt myself losing my cool. You’re better than this. Cleansing breaths – focus on the smell of the food – you’re better than this.
‘Is there anything you need me to do in the kitchen, Lily?’ I asked when I’d found the calm I was looking for.
‘No thanks, arsehole features, I think we’re just about done.’ She wiped her hands on her apron and gave me a long filthy look.
I mouthed, ‘Wife!’ at her.
She flipped me the bird and Anna snorted.
Toby opened the fridge and passed me a beer, taking the top off the stubby for me before I had a chance to say, ‘No, not during season.’ Oh well, it wasn’t like I needed to be off the stuff to be match-ready anymore, was it?
‘So what happened?’ He motioned towards the crutches as he pulled up the chair opposite mine.
‘Stress fractures are back,’ was all I managed to get out before Lily interrupted.
‘I’ve had a good look at the scans you gave me yesterday. That fifth metatarsal’s a bit dodge. One of the breaks is really close to the proximal diaphysis. Like, really, really close. The report says it’s an undisplaced fracture of the shaft, but I’m suspect about that. It’s only two millimetres away from the diaphysis at the most.’
Toby was hanging off her every word.
‘Lil, speak English, please.’ I rolled my eyes, but I was quietly proud. I liked it when she showed what a great doctor she’d be.
She leaned on her forearms at the kitchen bench. ‘Basically, I’m wondering if that fifth metatarsal should have been fixated. I think there’s a good chance it’s an avulsion fracture.’
‘What does this mean, Lily?’ Anna frowned.
‘I’m worried about the bone along his foot that connects to his little toe, Anna. It’s broken right at the tip. Sometimes what happens when a bone breaks that close to a joint is that a bit of it pulls away so it can’t heal on its own and it needs surgery.’ Lily turned her attention back to me. ‘I’m probably wrong. And you’ve had the Rangers’ medical team examine it and they know a hell of a lot more than I do about it. But, I examined that scan three times, and each time I swear it looked more like an avulsion fracture to me. I’d feel more reassured if you asked the doctor to go over the scans once more. If he does and then he still thinks letting it heal conservatively is all it needs, I promise not to bring it up again.’
‘Okay.’ I nodded. If Lily Harding said take another look, then I’d make sure that Aaron would take another look. With all my injuries, big or small, she’d never once been wrong.
It was time to change the topic, though. This wasn’t the sort of thing I wanted some guy I’d known for five minutes listening in on. ‘So, what do you do for a living, Toby?’
‘I’m a building supervisor. I work for my dad’s company. Mostly residential stuff.’
Five years on and my gut still clenched at the word ‘dad’. ‘Good way to earn a crust?’
‘Yeah, it’s all right.’ He said without any enthusiasm.
‘It’s not all right at all,’ Lily called out as she pulled open the door of the oven and peeked inside. The room immediately filled with smoke. ‘Oh no, burnt tacos! Crap!’ She emptied the tray of tacos in the bin and opened another box. ‘He’s a wasted talent, you know.’ She resumed the conversation. ‘He’s an amazing photographer. I’m trying to convince him to follow his dream, but he doesn’t want to let down his dad. Isn’t that right, Toby?’
Toby’s lips turned white. Honestly, Lily’s mouth needed to be taped shut.
‘It’s not really your place to tell him what he should do with his dad or his life, Lil.’ I was surprised to find myself defending Toby.
He threw me a grateful look. ‘I can’t let my dad down. He needs me.’ He stared hard at the guacamole.
‘Dinner’s served, lady and gentlemen,’ Lily sang.
‘Oh, Lily, look at this beautiful feast!’ Anna exclaimed. The table was filled with food.
I was touched by Lily’s efforts to make a special dinner after a long day of hospital rounds.
Most of the conversation round the table was Lily asking Anna a million questions about Ricky. And Toby asking me a million questions about the Rangers.
‘I want to know how you two got together.’ Lily pointed at us.
‘I sort of stalked her until she agreed to go out with me.’ I grinned at Anna.
‘I got tired of saying no to him!’ She laughed.
‘Do you know you’re the first girl he’s introduced to me?’ Lily announced to my horror.
Anna gave me a quizzical smile. ‘No, I did not know that. I feel very special.’
She tickled the inside of my thigh just above my knee. It was innocent enough but the graze of her fingers on my skin was all I needed to get turned on.
‘Thanks, Lil,’ I said through clenched teeth. I gave Anna a little shake of my head to stop what she was doing and placed my hand over hers. It wasn’t kosher to allow myself to get turned on in Lily’s presence.
Anna ignored me and kept wiggling her fingers on my thigh. ‘Good things come to those who wait, yes, Nick?’
Her smile widened when we made eye contact. She inched her fingers slightly higher up. I gave her a sterner look and she winked at me. I was so hard now it hurt.
She knew what she was doing. I saw her glance down at my erection. She knew and she wasn’t stopping.
‘Well, I knew Arielle but you didn’t introduce me to her, I introduced her to you,’ Lily said, unaware of what was happening on our side of the table.
‘Oh? Arielle?’ Anna gave me a teasing smile. ‘And who is this A-r-r- r-i-elle?’
Before I could answer, Lily blurted, ‘She’s my best friend. Out of all the girls in the world, Nick decided to fall hopelessly in love with her when he was seventeen and we were sixteen. Oh hey, you saw Arielle, Anna! You too, Toby. She was the friend I was sitting with at the hospital café on Saturday.’
Toby nodded. ‘Yeah, I remember her.’
‘The girl with the pink hair?’ Anna asked.
Lily nodded. ‘Yep.’
Anna turned to me with a sparkle in her eyes. ‘You like pink hair?’
‘No, yuck.’ I pulled a face. ‘She had blue hair back then.’
They all laughed.
‘Anyway,’ Lily continued, ‘Arielle was Nick’s first but they were only together for one week at the most before Arielle had enough of him. Only took him two years to get over her!’
‘That’s such crap!’ I protested. But it was one hundred per cent true.
‘Not crap at all,’ Lily guffawed.
‘Two years to get over her? Hmmm. That must have been a very good week. I think I am a little jealous of Arielle with the blue and pink hair.’ While she spoke, Anna’s fingers moved a little slower and a little higher. Jesus! I couldn’t take it anymore. All I could think about was how good it would be if she slid them just that tiny bit further up my groin. As I thought about it, she did so and I had to disguise my moan with a cough.
Lily went on. ‘Don’t be jealous, Anna. He’s got it way worse with you than he ever did with her, I can tell. And anyway, he and Arielle are like brother and sister now.’
I could barely hear what Lily was saying. Anna’s fingers were turning my brain to mush.
‘God, I thought I’d never hear the end of it when she dumped him,’ Lily continued, oblivious. ‘And since then, he’s never mentioned another girl. So cheers to you, honey, for finally breaking the Arielle spell!’ She reached across the table and clinked her glass of wine against Anna’s.
Anna smiled at me and cocked an eyebrow up. It was getting dire. I had to get up before I orgasmed at my sister’s dinner table. But as much as I willed myself to stand and end it, I couldn’t. What Anna was doing to me was just too addictive. I simply didn’t have the willpower to walk away from her.
‘So are you working, Anna? Or studying?’ Lily asked.
‘I work at my uncle’s Egyptian restaurant, Masri’s in Fremantle, and I also work part-time at a café three blocks away from Masri’s called Black Salt. I’ll be studying law next—’
‘Black Salt?’ Toby interrupted. ‘My brother John manages that place.’
‘Gianni is your brother?’ Anna laughed. ‘Truly an amazing coincidence! But I must say, I do not think you are much like your brother from what I have seen of you, Toby.’
Toby almost spat out his beer. ‘If I’m anything like John, shoot me now.’
‘So is it John or Gianni?’ Lily asked.
‘Bit of both,’ Toby replied.
‘He sounds intriguing.’ Lily stood up to clear away the plates, Toby followed her lead, and I finally got a reprieve from Anna’s teasing hand as she helped clear up too.
I wished I could will her fingers back. My skin tingled where they had been.
‘I’m just heading out for a smoke. Excuse me,’ Toby announced, once he’d stacked the plates in the dishwasher. He slid open the back door leading out to the terraced garden.
I shot Lily a look that she pretended not to see.
‘Have you told him you’re an asthmatic?’ I frowned at her.
‘Not yet, no.’
‘Yes Lily strikes again, huh?’
‘Shut up, Nick,’ she muttered.
I called out through the flyscreen door. ‘Toby, did you know Lily’s a severe asthmatic?’
Her face fell. ‘Nick!’
Toby froze with the cigarette dangling from his lips. He put it back inside the packet and walked into the kitchen. ‘Lily? What the hell?’
‘It’s nothing. Nick’s exaggerating. Don’t worry about it, Toby. Smoke away.’
‘She takes preventers every day,’ I told him.
‘I’ve been smoking right next to you for the last forty-eight hours. How could you not tell me?’ His voice was strained.
She shrugged.
Toby scratched his stubble and, shaking his head, walked to the fridge and pulled out two more beers.
‘I’ll give you a heads up about my sister,’ I said as he handed me one of the bottles. ‘She’ll never ever tell you something she thinks you don’t want to hear.’
He nodded. ‘Right, okay. Good to know.’
‘Be careful with her, she’s fragile.’ I said in a low voice that only he could hear, while the girls talked to each other in the kitchen.
He stared off to the side then looked back at me. ‘I’m not going to hurt her, Nick.’
‘I hope not.’ I took a large swig of beer.
We were silent until the girls came back to the table, Lily holding a platter of chocolate brownies and Anna behind her carrying bowls and a tub of ice cream.
Once dessert was done with, I fake yawned and asked Anna if she was ready to be taken home.
I was relieved to be saying goodbye.
‘Nick, I wish you were there to see when they first met each other,’ Anna said dreamily on the drive home. ‘It was love at first sight, a truly amazing thing to witness.’
I sighed. ‘But, his wife just died. She just died. How can you not see a huge giant problem with that?’
‘The night before we met you were living a different life. You told me that you changed the day you met me – you felt it was destiny to meet me when you did. Maybe it is the same for Toby. You heard what Lily said, he and his wife had split up. Maybe the timing of her passing away was Lily and Toby’s destiny.’
I shook my head. ‘Any way you slice it, his relationship with Lily is wrong. It’s not going to end well for Lily. I can feel it.’
‘She is an adult, Nick. Trust her judgement. Now tell me, do you still want me to come to your house for a little while or are you too consumed planning your sister’s life for her?’
‘Pfft, who cares about Lily? She’s an adult, I trust her judgement.’ I grinned.
Forty-five minutes later, we were at my place. I hopped over to the couch and beckoned her to join me. She took off her heels and sat beside me with her legs tucked up underneath her. I pulled her legs out so that they rested over mine and she left them there.
‘Very bad girl at dinner,’ I said into her ear before I nibbled on it.
‘What did I do that is so bad?’ Her throaty giggle was my favourite sound in the whole world. ‘Can a girl not rest her hand innocently on her boyfriend’s leg?’
‘There was nothing innocent about that,’ I murmured, between kisses. ‘And it wasn’t exactly following your “no more than kissing” rule.’
‘I decided maybe kissing, and a little bit more than kissing.’ She showed me how little by holding her thumb and index finger a few centimetres apart. ‘Am I allowed to change my mind, Nicholas Harding, or shall we go back to only kissing?’
‘Depends what you have in mind. I mean, the hand under the table thingy tonight was all right I suppose. But I might not like other things. I’m very fussy, you know. I think you need to show me what you mean by a little more than kissing.’ I said huskily.
‘If you are so fussy, Nick, perhaps you should be the one who shows me. Bear in mind I said a little bit more than kissing, not a lot.’
‘What about this?’ I slid my hand under her dress and pressed my thumb over her knickers. I could feel her heat.
‘Mmm,’ she moaned softly. I changed my mind. Her giggle wasn’t the best sound in the world – that was the best sound in the world. I moved my thumb the way I knew turned girls on the most – applying pressure, easing off and then pressing down again and I stroked her lightly between the thighs with my free fingers.
She held her breath and then gently moved my hand away, back up over her dress. She intertwined her fingers through mine. ‘That was not a little, Nicholas Harding. That was the direct opposite of a little.’ Her face was flushed.
‘But you loved it,’ I murmured in her ear.
‘I did,’ she breathed. ‘But I am not ready yet to love things as much as I loved that. It is less than a week, Nick.’ She touched my cheek. ‘I do not even know how you feel about me yet. And the place you were just touching me is a very private place. I only want to share this part of myself with a man who truly loves me.’
That’s when I told her that I loved her.
She slapped my shoulder and laughed. ‘You love me? And you are sure that this is real love and not something else – like, hmmm, let me see, a way for me to let you put your hand inside my dress again?’
I looked right into her eyes and swallowed. ‘I love you, Anna. No agenda. Hands under or over your dress, I just love you.’ I was surprised by how emotional I felt saying it.
She leaned her forehead on mine. ‘Truly?’
‘Really and truly.’
‘You love me?’
‘I do.’ I kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Well . . . do you love me back?’
‘Of course I do.’
‘I want to hear you say it then.’ I couldn’t believe I was asking, but it was the first time I’d ever put those words out there and I needed them said back to me.
‘You want to hear me say it?’ Anna murmured, looking down at my lips before she gave me a long deep kiss. Then she whispered in my ear. ‘Ana bahebak, ya Nick.’
I pulled my head back to look at her properly. ‘Doesn’t that mean goodbye? You told me that meant goodbye.’
She shook her head. ‘The difference between us, is that I could not wait five whole days before I told you I loved you.’
I covered her face all over with kisses while I whispered, ‘You’re so beautiful and caring and smart and fast in the pool.’
She laughed and I continued, still kissing her between every few words, ‘And brave and strong and I love your accent and I love your skin and I love your hair and I love your eyes and I love your mouth and I love your breasts and I love your bum . . .’
She pressed both her palms against my chest to hold me back. ‘But you have not even seen my breasts or my bum!’
‘I’ve seen enough to know I love them.’ I tugged on her bottom lip with my front teeth.
‘How is it possible that we love each other already?’
‘Don’t know, don’t care. I just know it’s true.’
‘Will it last, though? Will you tire of me? Especially if I am slow to sleep with you.’
‘Never.’
She fixed her eyes on mine as I moved my hands over her breasts taking in the firmness of her bra. I slid them further down along her waist and then lifted her by her hips, bringing her up onto my lap.
‘I’ll wait as long as you need me to wait.’ I breathed into her neck. ‘I’m not going anywhere, I promise.’
‘Nick, right now I do not want to keep you waiting for another second.’ She let out a long soft moan while I sucked under her ear. ‘I can feel you under my thigh. You feel hard.’
‘Mmm, do I just? Do you like how it feels?’ I explored the hollow of her neck with my tongue. ‘Do you like what you do to me?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I do, I love it. But . . .’
‘But you’re not ready to love it yet?’
She chuckled. ‘Precisely. That’s enough for one night, yes?’
I pulled away and smiled at the look on her face. She wanted it as much as I did.
‘Yes, Anna. That’s enough for one night.’
At midnight, we kissed goodbye in the car park at the back of the restaurant. It was pitch black out there now that the restaurant had closed for the night. The kissing developed into her climbing onto my lap and both of us panting as she rocked fast and hard against my erection. But again she put an end to it after only a minute.
‘Am I frustrating you?’ Her eyes were questioning when we’d both settled down.
I look down at my crotch. ‘Down there, at this exact minute, yes. Aren’t you a little frustrated right now too?’
‘Yes, of course I am. But for me it is different. I can control it.’
I laughed. ‘Hey, just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I’m an animal with no self-control, you know. I’m the king of self-control! I’m perfectly capable of going along with whatever you want. Nothing but kissing? That’s okay. A bit more than just kissing? Also okay. Full-blown sex every day and every night? Totally okay.’
‘Very funny, Nicholas Harding.’
‘But seriously, listen,’ I continued. ‘Being intimate is just one part of what I want to have with you. You mean way more to me than just sex.’
‘But what if in three, four, six months I still do not feel ready? Sex is a big thing for me, Nick. My culture – it influences me. Of course, five minutes ago, all I wanted was for you to take my virginity in this car park.’ She let out a laugh. ‘But I do not want it to happen this way, in the rush of a heated moment. I want my heart, soul, mind to all be ready and then I can give myself to you, without reservation or regret. I do not know how long this will take.’
I cupped her neck. ‘I already told you, I’m not going anywhere. Take as long as you need. I’ll wait for you. You have my word.’
‘You won’t be tempted by other girls between now and then?’ She smiled but it was clear by her shaky voice that the concern was real.
My mind did an instant flashback to the girl from the beach. ‘I swear to you, Anna, I won’t cheat on you. You can trust me.’
Her face relaxed and she smiled. ‘I trust you.’
My text message alert sounded a minute after I got back home from dropping her off:
I love you Nicholas Harding x
I stared at the screen and thought I might just be the happiest I’d ever been.
But then I opened Twitter and that fleeting moment of happiness vanished.
#annaisgoodvirgin was trending with meme after meme of her aunt waving her arms about at a reporter.
I sat down and went through my phone. Jesus Christ, Anna and I were all over social media.
There was an Instagram photo of Anna getting into my car at the restaurant tonight, taken from an angle that looked right up her red dress with the caption, ‘Not your regular Muslim girl. Nick Harding’s latest love leaves religion behind for the bad boy of football.’
The Daily News had a close-up of Anna and me at the pool the other night, alongside a photo of her swimming at the last World Swimming Championships, as well as a whole slideshow of photos of Leila during her political career. The story read:
In a dramatic twist of events, it’s been revealed that Nick Harding’s ‘mystery girlfriend’ is none other than former world champion swimmer, Anwar Hayati, daughter of exiled Egyptian politician, Leila Hayati. Click below to see video of the terror attack that shocked the world after Anwar refused to wear a burkini.
In four hours it had been shared over a thousand times.
Bluey barked for attention but I ignored him. I clicked back on the photos that showed Anna’s knickers as she climbed into my car and panicked about how much danger I’d just put her in.
My phone rang at half past midnight. It was Craig.
‘What the fuck’s going on, Nick?’ His voice was hoarse. ‘I’ve just had Max on the phone ranting about you becoming a Muslim or something. He wants a meeting with you and me at seventy-thirty sharp in the morning.’
Max Dawson was the club CEO.
‘What? Oh come on, Craig, you know that’s not true!’
‘Whatever. Just be ready for the meeting in the morning.’
When I put the phone down and checked Facebook again, another video of the bombing which tagged the Rangers was at the top of my newsfeed.
This wasn’t just about me and Anna anymore, the Rangers had been dragged into it now. And there was nothing good in that.