“Yeah, shit’s good here. Leah’s comin’ around. Taken’ it slow, but she smiles more so I think she’s makin’ progress.” Finally. Damn, these have been a rough few weeks, or months, I can’t remember, but now she’ll let me touch her and kiss her, which is progress. Not wearing long sleeves and pants, we’re working on.

“Glad to hear it.” Cooper clears this throat. “When you comin’ back, Green?”

The dreaded question, not because I don’t want to go back to Sumner, but because it’ll mean leaving Leah. That I’m not ready for, and getting her to pack up and leave with me, at this point, doesn’t feel like an option. And I really don’t think I can leave her. Fuck, I knew this was coming.

I listen to the shower still going. “Don’t know, brother. There something that needs handled?”

“Always.”

Something inside me twists. Fuck, I’m going to have to go. “When do you need me?”

There’s jostling around on the other end of the line that sounds like crackles. “Holdin’ my dad off for now. May be able to give ya another week, two if you’re really fuckin’ lucky, but brother, I need to tell ya, you need to get back here sooner rather than later. We got shit to do.”

Rubbing my hand over my face, I heave out a deep breath. “Got it. How’s Bristyl?”

“Pissed, but I’m fuckin’ it out of her. She’ll be fine.”

I chuckle. “Right. Gotta go and talk to Leah. I’ll keep in touch.”

“Later.”

“Later, brother.” I slide the phone off to disconnect and stare at the bathroom door. What in the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want to leave her, but I don’t know for sure that she won’t come with me either. We’re going to have to chat, and I fear the outcome. Fuck. If I could just tie her up and take her with me I would, but that would be cruel under her circumstances.

One fucked up conversation, coming right up.

* * *

“What’s wrong?” Leah asks, coming to the kitchen table where sandwiches are laid out for lunch, and she sits in the chair opposite of me.

“That obvious, huh?”

It still gets me how well Leah can read me. Even before all this shit, when we talked on the phone, she could pick up little details in my tone of voice and called me out on it. Damn, I loved it. No one in my life had been able to do that in the way she did or does. Another reason why this sucks.

“Yeah, you’re doing that pinched brow thing where you look mean as hell.”

With an eyebrow lift, “Really?” I ask.

She digs into her sandwich, turkey and cheddar on wheat, nodding. “Yep. You did it a few times in the hospital and… before.” She wipes her mouth with a napkin then looks down at the table like she’s remembering. I fucking hate it when she remembers.

“Must be pretty fuckin’ sexy if you remember it that closely.”

Leah rolls her eyes and looks up to the ceiling, one of her quirks that I’ve missed so damn much. Too bad the reason I get it is because of this.

Her pointed stare comes to me. “I remember everything, Green.” The words are loaded with so much meaning and while I’m glad she remembers before and what we had, I don’t want her to remember being hurt. But that’s just me. I’m a guy who doesn’t want someone he cares about hurt. Fucking sue me.

“Right. Talked to Cooper today.”

Her sandwich falls to the plate, eyes wide, and panic all over her. “What? Is Bristyl okay? What’s wrong?” The questions come out in one long stream and I realize I’m fucking this up.

“She’s fine. Perfectly fine.”

She visibly deflates in relief. “Good. Okay. What’s wrong?”

“Gotta go back.”

Jumping up, I move to Leah whose face just lost every bit of color, turning it white as a ghost. Her body leans into me.

“Breathe, baby.” It still takes her a few moments before she sucks in breaths, coming back to me slowly. Fucking hell.

Sitting on the floor, I pull Leah into my body and sit her in my lap and wrap her arms around me. I knew this would be hard.

“Want you to come with me.”

She gives a slight hiccup and moves back to look at me. “I can’t. My parents are here. My therapist. And I’ll have to start school up sometime. My life is here.”

“You could make a life up in Sumner. Bristyl’s there so it’s not that far of a reach.”

Tears well in her eyes. “I can’t. Sorry.”

Part of me is proud that she feels like she can stay here without me, while the other wants her to come with me.

“Just think about it.”

“When do you have to go?” She shifts on my lap, but I can feel her pulling away from me, not physically, but emotionally and that fucking kills.

“A week or two, but I want ya to think about comin’ with me.”

She makes a move to get up and when I clutch her closer to me she fights to get out of my arms. She rises, putting distance between us. Fuck.

Wrapping her arms around her body, she walks through the apartment deep in thought.

Standing up I make my way to her, stop her, and lift her chin with my finger. “Baby, I want you to come with me.”

“Don’t you get it? I can’t. No matter if I want to or not. I have to stay here. I trust Anne. I need to stay with Anne.”

Fuck. Taking her away from the one person she trusts outside of me to talk about what’s going on in her head isn’t a good idea. My heart clenches while my gut twists. She tears her head out of my grasp and moves to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I can already feel the miles she’s putting between us, and it fucking pisses me off.

* * *

To say she’s distanced herself from me is an understatement. For the past four days, that’s all she’s done. No smiles. No laughter. No quick comebacks that she was giving before, and I fear she’s taken huge steps back and it’s all my fault.

Maybe I should have done this differently or fuck if I know. Christ, why does this have to be so difficult?

“Wanna go for a ride?”

“Not right now.” Her monotone voice comes at me. Fuck, I hate that voice.

“Leah, I said I wanted you to come with me. I don’t want to leave you here.”

“But you’re going to,” she snaps back with venom so different than before. “May as well go now. I wanted you to leave sooner, but you wouldn’t so you’re doing me a favor.” Her eyes are cold as stone, but I don’t buy it. “That way I can get on with my life and not have you babysitting me every moment of the day.”

“Baby, I know you’re angry…”

She cuts me off, “What’s there to be angry about? You have a life in Sumner. I have one here. I knew you were leaving, just not when. It’s almost been a week since you told me, so you’d better get goin’.”

“I’m not leaving you like this.”

She stands, fire burning through her. “Yeah, you are and that’s fine. I’m a big girl, and it’s time that I get my life together. On. My. Own.”

Moving over to her, she darts away to the other side of the room. “Baby, come with me.”

She throws her arms out. “Don’t you get it? I can’t!”

“Why? Why can’t you?”

She gets close to my face. “Because I lost myself here and I’m not leaving until I find it again!”

The world falls at my feet. Of all the scenarios, I don’t have a fucking clue why I didn’t see this one. I take that back, with the way she’s been acting—so unsure of everything, I hadn’t seen her pick part of herself up. The part that fights, and I kick myself not catching it.

While I thought she was on the road back, maybe she’s further down than I thought she was in the first place. Fuck, why does this shit have to be so hard?

Calming my voice, “That’s good, baby. I want you to find yourself. I just fuckin’ hate that I’m going to have to leave you here to do it. I’ll talk to Cruz, but I’ve been here a long ass time, and the club needs me.”

She huffs out a breath, her demeanor growing calmer. “I know, Green. And I thank you for helping me, but your job is done. I’ll make it.”

It’s my turn to get angry. “My job? You think I’m fuckin’ here because you’re a damn job? You think that I spent all those fuckin’ nights in the hospital with you, makin’ sure you were breathin’ because you’re a fuckin’ job? You know you’re not a fuckin’ job to me!”

Leah flinches and I immediately feel bad for yelling, but fuck—that pissed me off. Gaining my composure, I apologize, “Sorry, baby. I’m here because I want to be. I’m here because I care for you.” I grasp her arms and look deep into her eyes. “I’m here because your words wrapped around my soul, and I refuse to look away. Each word you have written me, spoken to me, has made me want to be right here where I am. It’s the fact that my family needs me, and I’ve been away from them for a long time. I don’t want to leave, but dammit, I have an obligation there.”

Tears slip from her eyes and I pull her to me, kissing her soft and slow. Without words, we make it to the bed, her silent tears and our kisses the only thing in the room. Except for my heart falling to pieces around me.