Hope

Hope turned her head slightly towards Danny and took a deep breath, praying he didn’t notice. His cologne smelled so good, like cedar and warmth. He looked good too, even better than the pictures she’d seen of him in the papers after he returned from Afghanistan as a war hero. His time in the military left him with a rock hard body and she loved the bald look on him. Add to that the neatly trimmed goatee that framed his sensual mouth and she couldn’t help but remember what it was like to kiss him. But they were both different people now, and even after all these years, his betrayal still hurt.

She had to keep in mind he wanted nothing to do with her, as if she could ever forget the scathing letter he wrote her while she was still in the hospital recovering from the knife wound to her chest. In it, he’d told her she was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, and he never, ever wanted to see her again. Not that they had much of a chance running into one another after Child Protective Services shipped him off to parts unknown, but losing him had hurt far worse than any physical injury she’d sustained.

He hadn’t said a word to her as he led her through a maze of hallways in his office, and she wondered if he still hated her for what had happened all those years ago. Even more, she wondered why the hell her father had made sure Danny was the one who would be watching over her. As soon as she had a moment alone, she was going to call her dad and ask him what the hell was going on.

The silence was uncomfortable and growing worse by the second. She had to say something, anything before it drove her crazy. “Thank you for taking my case on.”

There now, didn’t she sound like the mature adult.

“You’re welcome.”

His polite, chilly response hurt her heart. It wasn’t like she wanted him to sweep her up into his arms and confess he’d never stopped loving her. At the very least, he could be civil to her. He owed her that much. They’d been best friends once, and he’d broken her heart. If anyone should be playing the part of the offended party here it should be her.

He turned his head and she thought he looked at her, but she couldn’t tell with those sunglasses on. “So, where’d you learn to use a gun?”

Glad to stay on a neutral subject, she let out a small sigh of relief. “My dad got me a Ruger LCR and lessons at a gun range when I moved into my first apartment. You know, some parents give their kids furniture, mine gave me a handgun.”

Her attempt at levity fell flat in the hushed hallway. Danny stopped before a door and keyed a series of numbers into the pad next to the handle. The pad glowed green and the door clicked open, revealing a lovely blonde woman in a conservative black suit sitting behind a desk. When she looked up and saw Danny and Hope, she set aside a gun she’d been working on and stood up.

He escorted her into the room and nodded at the woman smiling at them. “Dr. Walker, this is Ms. Vanessa Davis, our weapons specialist.”

Ms. Davis wiped the gun oil off her fingers, then stood and held out her hand. “Please, call me Vanessa. It’s nice to meet you.”

Hope shook her hand, bemused to see such a delicate woman in charge of the weapons. “Nice to meet you as well. Please call me Hope. When people say Dr. Walker I always look around to see if my dad came into the room.”

Danny glanced at her, but his expression was so hard to read with those damned sunglasses on. Though he hadn’t volunteered why he wore them, she already knew from having read every article she could about Danny that he’d sustained the injury that had damaged his eyesight during a suicide bombing. His heroic actions that day earned him medals and fame, but she’d thought he looked so terribly sad in his photos.

He’d been quite the mini-celebrity after the battle in Afghanistan where his actions had saved his men, but left him with the seven-inch scar bisecting his head and an honorable discharge. While she’d been shocked to see his face on the front page of their local paper, even more, she’d been saddened by the suffering etched into his features.

Vanessa moved to the back of the room and lifted a large black duffle bag with a grunt of effort. Danny immediately went to her side and took it from her, earning a grateful smile. “Thanks, Escobar. You should be all set. Milton had me pack this up for you a couple hours ago. The house is well-stocked, but I wanted you to have something on hand...” Vanessa’s gaze flickered over to Hope who recognized the empathy in her eyes, “...just in case.”

Hope swallowed hard. Yeah, just in case DeLuca’s goons, or even the monster himself, tried to make an attempt on her life before she reached the safe house. Then again, they’d have plenty of opportunities to hurt her, to knock out her teeth and send them to her father. After all, wasn’t she playing Russian roulette with her own life?

Vanessa tilted her head to the side. “Dr. Walker, are you all right? Do you need something to drink?”

“No, I’m okay.” She tried to give them a convincing smile. “Just a long day.”

Vanessa smiled back and patted Daniel on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. Escobar will take great care of you.”

Daniel grunted as he hefted the heavy bag onto his shoulder. “Anything else?” His voice came out cold and Vanessa flushed.

She cleared her throat and turned to Hope. “Mr. Milton told me you would need some ammunition as well?”

Before she could say anything Danny answered for her. “Yeah, she needs two boxes of 380 ACP ammo.” He gave Hope a slow look from top to bottom, his gaze lingering on her hips and breasts, which perversely both angered and aroused her. He didn’t have the right to look at her goodies, even if said goodies warmed beneath his stare.

“Did Milton include some body armor for her as well?”

Hope startled at the thought of having to wear a bulletproof vest. “Is that really necessary?”

“Are people really going to try to kill you?”

“Point taken.”

Vanessa pursed her lips and eyed Hope. “No, Milton didn’t say anything about body armor. I can get some for her that will actually fit, but it’ll take a little bit. You’d think with all the women in the military and police organizations more companies would be making body armor for a woman’s frame but, right now, only a few do. I’ll have one of the guys drop it off at the safe house later tonight.”

“Can you also grab a couple of smoke grenades for me?”

Now it was Hope’s turn to stare at him. “Is that really necessary?”

He gave her a savage grin. “When it comes to keeping our clients alive we will do whatever is needed.”

Hope snorted. “Boys and their toys.”

“I’ll go get the ammo you need.” Vanessa grinned then walked to the back of the room and went through a thick metal door that opened slowly on huge hinges.

Without Vanessa in the room the silence between them became strained again. He continued to avoid looking at her, instead studying the gun Vanessa had been working on. “Mr. Escobar, can you take those sunglasses off please? I feel like I’m talking to a Secret Service Agent or one of the Men in Black.”

His lips firmed and the faint lines around his mouth deepened, but he did as she asked. At the first sight of his eyes, her heart dropped to her feet, and something deep inside her ached with longing. Thick, dark lashes framed his hazel-green eyes, the kind of lashes a woman would kill for. He’d once said his eyes were the only thing on him that looked like his Irish father instead of his Cuban mother, and she wondered how many nights he’d spent staring in the mirror, looking at the legacy of his parents stamped into the features of his face.

She knew she’d spent a good deal of her senior year of high school staring into those eyes, first across a lunch table, then while studying in the library, and finally lying together in a field of grass on a faded quilt. Looking into his eyes, she was transported back in time to that perfect moment years ago. She tried to fight the memory, to hold onto her anger, but she was helpless to stop the images playing out in her head like a movie.

Graduation had been only weeks away and they were talking about their future, of what they wanted to do and how they wanted to do it together. His ratty old truck had been parked not too far away with the doors open so they could hear an oldies station playing Motown music. If she could’ve gone back in time she would’ve frozen that moment, that perfect golden summer memory, because that night ended with her in the ER and Danny in police custody.

He shifted his stance, bringing her back to the present. Something about his gaze was different now, and it wasn’t just the faint lines around his eyes. She probably read more into it than was there, but it seemed as if a great sorrow filled him, and she wanted to reach out and hug him. If they’d still been teenagers she would have without hesitation, but age and experience kept her where she was, on the other side of a vast gulf that separated them.

She licked her dry lips and a flash of heat chased back the sorrow when he did the same. Her nipples hardened to points beneath the thin silk of her blouse and she crossed her arms, embarrassed by her body’s obvious reaction. The passion between them had always been like this, a gasoline-soaked bonfire waiting for a spark to roar to life.

No, she wouldn’t be ruled by her hormones like some horny teenager. She was a mature, experienced woman now, and she’d learned the hard and painful lesson about what loving Daniel Escobar was like. To view him now as anything other than an inconvenient necessity was just emotional suicide. She would be strong; she wouldn’t let her guard down.

Danny started to take a step toward her, and she immediately took a step back. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she was afraid of herself, of what she might do. Hurt tightened his features for one brief moment, but he merely adjusted the bag on his shoulder and looked away.

Vanessa came out of the adjacent room with a big black backpack. She handed it to Hope with a warm smile. “Here you go. You should be all set. Feel free to give me a call if you need anything else. Just don’t let Escobar talk you into saying you need a tank or an air strike.”

Hope grinned at her but Danny frowned. “Let’s go, Hope.”

She shook Vanessa’s hand again. “Thank you for your help.”

“No trouble.” She leaned closer and said, “Escobar isn’t a bad guy, so you don’t have to be afraid of him. He’ll take good care of you.”

Wondering why the other woman thought she was afraid, she gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Thank you.”

They quickly exited into the hallway and the door snicked shut behind them. “Now what?”

Danny slipped his sunglasses back on the moment they stepped into the hallway. “We’re going to have to enter and exit your home as quickly as possible, hopefully, without anyone seeing us. Is there an alley or something nearby that we could use?”

“Let me think.” She had to stretch her legs to keep up with his quick stride, not the easiest thing to do in four-inch heels. The big duffle bag slung over his shoulder didn’t seem to be slowing him down at all. “Well, my house is right by Woodlawn cemetery. We could park there and cut through the graveyard to my backyard.”

He looked over his shoulder at her before stopping and ushering her inside a small personal office. “You’re next door to a cemetery? Isn’t that a little creepy?”

She took a quick glance around the plain room. A desk sat before the office window and a large metal cabinet took up much of one wall. Other than a wastepaper basket and a phone, there was nothing to add any type of personalization to the space. No plants, no pictures, not even a coffee mug. She knew from the articles she’d read about him that he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean a girlfriend wasn’t in the picture. Another glance around the room showed the distinct lack of a woman’s touch. Surely, if he was with someone they would have done something, given him some kind of memento to warm the room.

Mentally berating herself for giving a shit if he had a girlfriend or not, she shrugged and tried to keep her internal conflict out of her tone. “I’ve never had a problem with dead people. It’s the living ones that are a pain in the ass.”

The duffle bag hit the floor with a dull thump as he gave an unexpected laugh and shook his head. “Ain’t that the truth.” He opened one of the drawers in his desk and pulled out a handgun. The black surface didn’t reflect any light and he efficiently checked it over before he took out a small case and placed it next to the gun. “Are you going to be able to move quickly in those heels?”

She had to resist the urge to fidget and hoped he didn’t see her blush. “I have a pair of sneakers in my trunk with my workout clothes. I can change before we go.”

“Turn around.”

“Pardon me?”

A slight smile teased the edges of his tempting lips. “I need to blend in and move fast. That’s not going to happen in this suit.” He walked over to the file cabinet and opened a drawer before pulling out some neatly folded clothes. He tossed them onto his chair before removing his jacket, revealing a clean white dress shirt that clung to his powerful shoulders. “I need to change.”

Desire radiated from the pit of her stomach and mixed with the warmth of the flush burning her cheeks. “Oh. I can step out into the hallway.”

“Nah, just turn around. Won’t take me long, and I don’t need my ass chewed out if Milton sees you by yourself.” He smiled and it made her knees weak. “Now, unless you want to see what kind of tattoos I’ve picked up since the last time you saw me without a shirt on, I suggest you turn around.”

She spun so quickly she almost stumbled and the low rumble of his laughter only deepened her embarrassment and arousal. God, things were not going as she’d planned. Despite the dire nature of her situation, a small part of her hoped he would see the woman she’d become and forgive her for costing him his family all those years ago. The irrational guilt still haunted her. In her heart of hearts she knew that night and its terrible consequences would have happened with or without her there, but she couldn’t help feeling her involvement hurt Danny deeply.

Her family had always teased her about her excessive amount of empathy and compassion. They joked that if some guy wanted Hope to become interested in him all he had to do was be either emotionally or physically wounded. Is that why she found herself becoming more and more drawn to Danny? Was it because she knew how hard his life had been growing up? She wanted to smack herself upside the head and make her dumb heart understand that some people just couldn’t be fixed. You couldn’t help an addict quit a drug until they were ready to do so, and you couldn’t heal a man who refused to admit he’d ever been wounded.

The rustle of cloth brushing over skin and the metallic clink of a belt seemed loud in the hushed office. She could imagine the white cloth sliding off his tanned skin, revealing a body shaped by war. The pink scar bisecting the center of his head was the only visible injury from the bomb attack; she knew beneath his clothes he must have more marks left from the flying pieces of metal. She wanted to kiss them all, soothe the wounds of the past and heal him inside and out.

Well, that settled it. She was an idiot, a masochistic fool who couldn’t wait to throw her heart back into the emotional food processor that was Danny.

“Hope.”

A single word, the way he said her name, like a prayer, made her breath catch in her throat. “Yes?”

More clothing rustled. “Did you know I was here?”

Her heartbeat doubled and she clasped her hands together in front of her to hide the faint tremble. What should she tell him? That she’d been trying to find him for years? That she’d wept when she received his letter saying he would never bother her again and to forget about him? That she knew he hated her. She wanted to say all these things and more, but chickened out, afraid of what he might say in return.

Then again, her messed up feelings for him didn’t make the fact she had a death sentence hanging over her head any less real.

“No. I didn’t know you were here.”

She smoothed her skirt to still the fine tremor in her hands. He didn’t respond so she took a deep breath and prodded a little deeper. It was true that she didn’t know Danny worked here, but she wasn’t going to tell him about her cyberstalking him ever since she’d seen the first article with his handsome face staring back at her.

In an effort to break the uncomfortable silence, she cleared her throat. “You changed your last name from O’Neil.”

All those years spent searching for him under the wrong name, no wonder she hadn’t been able to find him.

Tension filled the office until the hair on her arms stood up. He moved and his voice came from further away. “Yeah. I took my grandfather’s last name.”

Shocked, she turned to face him. “Your grandfather?”

His back was to her as he looked out the window of his office into the cloudy sky. The tight black tee shirt with the name of a local bar on the back in white lettering revealed the broad, muscled shoulders of a man in his prime. She couldn’t see any tattoos on his arms, but it looked like the edges of one on his back marked the very bottom of his neck. The faded jeans he wore cupped his firm ass, and her body screamed at her to go to him, to touch him, to breathe in his scent.

“After...well, after I was sent to live with my maternal grandfather. He’d been trying to find me and my Mom for years.”

“But you said he was dead.”

He turned his head so the dim light beyond the window highlighted his profile. “My mother...” He swallowed and turned back to the window. “My mother said a lot of things that weren’t true. My grandfather is a hard, but fair man and he would have never allowed his grandson to live with a junkie if he’d known.”

Her heart ached for him. “I’m so sorry.”

He took a deep breath and tilted his head to the side, cracking his neck. “Yeah well, the past is the past.” Without looking at her, he turned around and picked up the sunglasses off the desk. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather leave it that way. I’ll guard you, Hop...Dr. Walker. I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe, but I don’t want to talk about that shit. If you can’t accept that, then we need to assign you to someone else right now.”

His voice held so much pain. She wanted to pull him into her arms and promise everything would be okay, but she didn’t have the right. He slid the glasses back on and looked up at her, his amazing eyes once again hidden from the world. While she couldn’t give him the peace he deserved, she could at least honor his request and let it go...for now.

“Okay, no more walks down memory lane.”

He gave her a brisk nod. “I’m your bodyguard, nothing more, nothing less. Strictly professional.”

“Okay.”

He took his phone out of the pocket of his suit coat and read something on the screen. When he looked up his lips had thinned and the faint lines around his mouth deepened. He seemed on the verge of saying something, then shook his head and looked away.

The edgy silence settled between them again and she could feel her muscles tense in response. They couldn’t continue on like this. She was going to be stuck with him until DeLuca was captured. If that meant having to endure this tension for however long it took, she knew she’d lose her mind. It would be better for both of them if she could get them back on friendly terms, where she wasn’t trying to look deeper into everything he said.

The decision made, she tried to lighten the mood, to show him that things didn’t have to be so awkward between them; they could both be mature, professional adults. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. Looking up at him, she gave him a teasing smile.

“Why do you wear your sunglasses so much?” She raised her eyebrows. “You know you ain’t that cool.”

Some of the stiffness went out of his shoulders and he grunted as he picked up the heavy duffle bag. “I’m so cool ice cubes are jealous.”

Back on familiar footing she allowed herself to slip into a more juvenile frame of mind. “I’m so hot the EPA has declared me a source of global warming.” God, when was the last time she’d engaged in a good session of trash talking? It felt good in a very childish way. Even better, it seemed to relax Danny as well.

“Ohhh, baby girl thinks she got some game!” He laughed and shook his head. “Do you remember the first time you tried to get slick with me?”

She groaned and covered her face with her hands, speaking between her fingers. “No, I have erased that moment from my memory.”

Unfortunately, she remembered every embarrassing moment. They’d been studying together in the nearly empty library after school and, instead of focusing on their calculus, Danny spent the time trying to help her with her comebacks. Having been home schooled all her life, she’d never really had the chance to trash talk with other kids. Earlier that day, a group of the popular girls ganged up on her in the cafeteria, calling her "nappy head" and all kinds of mean things for having braids instead of straightened hair or weaves the rest of the girls wore.

Danny stepped in and rescued her, verbally sparring with the other girls until they were almost in tears. At that moment, in her young mind, he couldn’t have been more of her knight in shining armor if he’d ridden in on a white horse. When she’d tried to thank him he brushed it off and asked her if she could help him with his calculus after school. That was the start of their almost daily study sessions and her falling head over heels in love with him.

Which so wasn’t going to happen again. They might become friends again, but that would be it.

He walked past her and opened the door to the hallway. “If I remember right, it was something along the lines of ‘I’m so old school...”

“...I think Pluto’s a planet,” she finished with a groan. “Please don’t remind me.”

They made their way down the hallway to the elevators and she tried to understand the mixed signals he sent her. One minute he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk about the past, then the next minute he’s bringing it up and laughing about it. She stared at his back as he walked in front of her. Okay, so she stared at his tight ass, and wondered what was going on inside his head.

“So, what’s up with the sunglasses?”

He pushed the button for the garage and focused on the closed doors. “I got injured in Afghanistan. That’s why I wear the sunglasses. Sometimes my pupils won’t react correctly and bright lights hurt my eyes. Gives me a bitch of a headache.”

The matter-of-fact way he said it didn’t hide the undercurrent of anger. The therapist part of her wanted to prod him, to get him to open up more about it, but he didn’t need her as a therapist, he needed her as his friend. So, she answered him as a friend would. “That sucks.”

“Yep.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing an empty cab. “But it won’t affect my job performance.”

They entered the elevator and the doors slid shut behind them, sealing them in the small space together. The large duffle bag further crowded them until they were separated by mere inches. She swore she could feel the heat of his body, caress her like a touch. The soft flesh between her legs throbbed with the beat of her heart and, when his arm casually brushed hers, tingles raced through her. She took a step away, moving as far from him as she could in the small space.

They didn’t say anything as the elevator made its slow descent to the garage. Goodness, she needed to get a hold of her hormones. Because they’d briefly been an item in high school didn’t mean he still had the same feelings for her. And, because she thought about him all the time over the past ten years, had searched and searched for him, it didn’t mean he had done the same. Her heart ached as she scolded herself for acting like some silly, love-struck teenager. She walked into his office today a capable, confident young woman who’d carved her own path in life through adversities of her own; it was time she started acting like it.

The elevator doors opened to the basement garage and she stepped out first. “I need to get some stuff from my car. It’s right over here. I’m assuming we’re going to take your vehicle?”

He nodded and moved a step closer. She thought for a moment he might try to kiss her. Her mind was saying “No, no, no” and waged a brief battle with her sex deprived body that said “Yes, yes, yes!” Thankfully, he didn’t try to touch her, and she quickly realized he was moving closer to shield her with his body, not to make a move.

“Let me get my workout bag from the trunk. I want to change into something that I can move fast in...just in case.” She swallowed hard trying to ignore the tension threatening to lock her muscles into place.

“You can change in the back of the SUV. The windows are tinted, so no one should be able to see you.”

“Okay.”

He followed after her but, instead of looking at her, his gaze kept scanning the garage.

She stopped walking so abruptly he ran into her back and she stumbled. He caught her with one arm and pulled her against his chest. A dizzying wave of arousal made her feel as though she melted against his firm muscles and gripped his rock hard biceps. Where the softness of her belly pressed into his hips, she felt the unmistakable press of his cock firming against her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked and she swore she felt his thumb stroke the skin where he held her arm ever so slightly.

She pushed him away and ignored his slight frown. “Do you think they followed me here?”

His lips softened he shook his head slowly. “If they did they wouldn’t make it past the security gate into the garage.”

“Then why do you look like you’re expecting an attack at any moment?”

“Force of habit.” He abruptly stepped back and shifted the duffle bag between them. “We’re burnin’ daylight. We need to get to your house and get your stuff before it gets too late and they close the cemetery gates.”

“Right.” Without another word she led him to her car, lecturing herself the whole time that, while she was feeling like a foolish cat in heat around Danny, it didn’t mean the feeling was mutual. And maybe the bulge she felt was his gun, not his cock.

His very big, very thick gun.