Chapter Nineteen
Jake pulled his truck into the gravel lot of Three Pools, the prime section to go floating down the Santiam River at the North Fork Park. He cut the engine and wrung his hands on the steering wheel, hoping that today would go smoothly with Erin and the guys. His gaze met Erin’s, and she gave him a megawatt smile. Yeah, today would be just fine.
“Ready for this?”
She raised a brow, her smile turning impish. “Are you?”
Hell. Probably not.
He watched as Erin slid out of the truck, her shorts clinging to her thighs. He swallowed hard and slipped out of his side, keeping his eyes on her the second he made it past the cab.
Erin sauntered around the truck like she owned the river. With the way her hips swayed in those cutoff blue jeans, she could own the whole goddamn world for all Jake cared.
He rounded the tailgate to find Hollywood at the other end of the gravel parking lot that led to the river and hiking trails, throwing his arms out dramatically. “I put my Cheetos in your truck. Where the hell are they?” Hollywood said. The guys had ridden in Reece’s truck, and Jake had driven Erin in his.
The late July air was muggy with the promise of another hot, blue-skied day. Their hour-and-a-half ride had been filled with conversations about Erin’s potential new school and about her roommate.
“Reece probably ate them,” Erin said. “I’d check his hands.”
Hollywood trudged over to where Reece sat in a lawn chair and lifted his hands. Even from the tailgate, he could see they were stained orange.
“Traitor!”
“You were taking too long with unloading all the floats.” He tossed the remnants of the Cheetos bag at Hollywood.
Both Reece and Hollywood had brought women with them, both of whom Jake had never met before. Amy and Lea. They were both sitting in lawn chairs next to his friends, sunning themselves in their bikinis.
The place they’d parked at had quite a few trails jutting from the main area that led to small, secluded sections with high rocks to jump into deep pools of water. The water was moving at a good clip today, which would make for some great floating down the river.
“Ready, ladies?” Reece said, brushing off his hands and then grabbing a blue-and-white inner tube.
“We’re not going to hit any rapids, are we?” Amy said, clutching at her tube.
“Nah. This river doesn’t have any,” Reece said.
Reece and Jake came down here every summer to float. Jake’s aunt used to own property up here, and they’d stay at the tiny double-wide, partying, riding the horses on the property next to theirs, and sneaking into the neighbor’s hot tub. All that seemed like a lifetime ago.
“You coming, Jake?” Reece called, already knee-deep in the water.
He turned to Erin, who was still sitting on the tailgate, feet dangling, her head tilted to the sun.
“You ready?” Jake asked.
“Would you be cool if we went hiking first?” she said. She still had her eyes closed, and it looked like she was trying to soak up every drop of sun. Maybe she was.
He turned to Reece. “We’ll catch up in a few.” But Reece and the crew were already in the water and floating down the bank.
Once the group was out of sight, Erin hopped down from the tailgate. “That trail looks good.” She pointed.
Jake tried to keep his expression neutral as Erin pulled her tank top over her head, exposing tanned skin and a barely there bikini top. She tossed it in the truck and then made her way to the trail-post sign. The red ties dangled down the center of her back, and Jake wondered how long it’d take to yank those and fling the scrap of material to the ground. It wouldn’t take much, he decided.
Torture. Why did he think this was a good idea to bring her up here? He could barely keep his hands off her with her clothes on.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other week,” she said as they disappeared into the forested area. Their tread emitted a light clomp as their feet hit pine needles and earth, and the scent of tree sap made him think of long summers spent in the woods.
“There were many thought-provoking things said. You’ll have to be more clear,” he joked.
“You’re right up there with Gandhi, Galileo, and Oprah.”
“Really, out of all the people to pick from, you choose Oprah?”
“Um, yeah, did you not watch her show after school every day?”
“Can’t say I did.” He chuckled. It was easy talking to Erin. He’d never had that with anybody but his friends.
“I was talking about you calling me out on my bullshit. About me running.”
Had he really been that harsh? “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
They came to a fork in the trail, the left going deeper into the woods, the right sticking closer to the water. They veered to the right. “The way I see it—I get a fresh start. A chance for a do-over, to try something new.”
“What about the people in your life? Don’t you miss them?” He couldn’t imagine just packing up his life and leaving his friends and family.
She shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Red flags waved in a frantic SOS call in the back of his head. Shouldn’t be messing around with someone like this. Not safe for your sanity. But there was more to Erin than she was letting on. He’d known her when she was younger. Knew just how caring she was, how she was still close to Sloane and Madison. Even someone so transient had to put roots somewhere.
She’s leaving, asshole. The logical part of his brain was still trying to decide why he’d even asked her to come today. Whatever this was between them was damned before it even started.
“I don’t know. I think that sounds lonely.”
“Lonely is being stuck in the same routine every single day. I can’t imagine a life like that.”
I can, he thought. His routine was what kept him functioning. What got Bailey to practice on time. What put dinner on the table. “Here, let’s cut this way.” He knew these woods like the back of a fire truck.
They passed a clearing that gave way to columns of gray rocks and trees. Below them was a pool of deep, glistening water. “I’ve never been to this spot before,” Erin admitted.
“My aunt showed me this place when I was younger.” It was a little-known secret, the swimming hole filled with crystal-blue water that wasn’t overrun by tourists. Only the locals around North Fork ventured here, and they were all either sleeping off a hangover from the night before or back at it at the local bar.
“Have you ever jumped off there?” Erin pointed to the large rock jutting out over the lake. He’d jumped off it quite a few times when he was younger. Before Bailey, he realized.
“Yeah. Back in high school. Reece used to come here with me. Made sure I didn’t do anything to break my neck.”
“Man, you guys got to do all the cool stuff in high school. I was stuck manning the food truck.”
He gave a sheepish grin, but he didn’t fail to notice the hardened edges of her eyes.
“Last one up there buys dinner.” She pulled her hair out of her ponytail, and then she was off, blonde hair whipping behind her.
“I don’t know . . .”
Erin glanced behind her, not stopping. “I’d better not hear any excuses, Jake. You run into burning buildings for a living. A rock should be a breeze.”
And it should have been. But he’d quit taking risks in every facet of his life ever since his daughter had been born. Sure, there was always a risk running into a burning building or dealing with ornery patients, but he had backup. His team had his back, no matter what.
They continued their ascent up the rocks, Jake staying a close distance behind Erin in case she slipped. Once they reached the top, they both stood a few feet from the edge of the cliff. Her face and body were covered in a light sheen from the exertion, her skin flushed. Jake had the sudden urge to whisk her into the secluded tree line and finish what he’d started three weeks ago. He tore his gaze away from her and looked over the cliff. The water shimmered down below, cool and enticing. Trees encased the whole area, only giving way to the shoreline and the pool.
“When I was little, I used to watch Carmen Sandiego.” She let out a humorless laugh and sat down on the edge, her feet dangling over the rocks. Jake joined her.
“I thought it was so cool, how she would disappear, go to all these cool places. I thought that’s what I wanted, to float around. Now I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“Nothing wrong with not knowing what you want.” Jake was the last person who should be giving advice. He played it safe.
She turned to him, expression unreadable. “Do you ever think about the what-ifs?”
He shook his head. He didn’t know how to answer this. Or . . . maybe he did, but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. What if Erin didn’t get the job in California? What if she stayed here? He didn’t like all those variables. Fires. Medical emergencies. That was the stuff he understood. “I think that’s a dangerous way of thinking.”
“Says the person who uses wishing fountains.”
“Those are scientifically proven effective.”
She looked over at him, and those perfectly pink lips pulled into a smile. “You’re cute when you’re full of crap.”
His damn heart pounded. It pumped to the rhythm of Erin’s name. It had since the moment he had seen her in Barry’s Bakery.
She looked up at him, her gaze raking across his chest before meeting his eyes. “What are we doing, Jake?”
“I have no fucking clue,” he admitted.
“Me either.”
“All I know is that I can’t get you off my mind.”
“Then don’t.” She gave a wry smile, then stood and shimmied out of her cutoffs, tossing them on a nearby rock. “Come on.” She started walking toward the edge of the rock.
“We should probably head back. Especially if you want to float the river.” It was a cheap response. Because jumping with Erin seemed to mean more than just jumping off a rock. It meant continuing into uncharted territory without a compass or a bag of bread crumbs.
“The Jake I knew wouldn’t hesitate for one second.”
“I’m not that same guy.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Who are you, then?”
What the hell type of question was that? He was Jake Bennett. Had a handful of guys he was lucky enough to call his friends. Had an amazing daughter and supportive family. And yet, if he was going to get all philosophical, things had been off for a while now. Years, maybe.
“You can’t spend the rest of your life playing it safe, Jake.”
His life was anything but safe, especially with a preteen daughter, but what Erin said shook something inside him. Made him want to roar, beat his fucking chest. Show her that he was damn fine the way he was. “You do realize I run into burning buildings, right?”
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Yes, he did realize what she was saying. He knew he was living a shell of a life, and Erin had been the first to point it out. “Then what do you suggest, oh wise one?”
“Take a leap of faith.” She gestured to the water below.
“Isn’t that meant in more of the metaphorical sense?”
She rolled her eyes and held out her hand. “I’m about to pee my pants over here. If I can do it, so can you.”
Erin’s hair tumbled over her shoulders as she shook her head. The afternoon sun shone on her deep honey skin, highlighting the freckles splashed across her nose and cheeks.
For her, he’d do this. And as soon as he grabbed her hand, he realized he’d do just about anything for Erin Jenkins. “I’m done playing it safe.”
They both took a running start and jumped off the rock.