Chapter Ten
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Erin stared at the new comforter in the freshly painted room of her mom’s house. Her old room, she reminded herself. When she’d left for the weekend, it’d been an early-2000s time-capsule oasis, complete with Beyoncé posters, old movie stubs, and concert tickets pinned to the wall. Now? It was painted over with a shade of pale lavender that matched the ruffled edges of the equally prim-and-proper bedspread. It was all wrong.
“What happened to all my stuff?”
Her mother, at least, had the sense to look a little sheepish. “I put it in boxes,” she said.
Why did this bother her so much? This should be a slam dunk. Now it was portable. She could ship it back to California and keep it in her own place. But just the thought of her mom riffling through all her memories struck something deep within her, rankled her like a cat being rubbed from tail to head with a wet hand.
“I just want you to be comfortable while you’re home. Something more mature. You know, in case you decide to stay longer.”
All she needed was a bed and four walls, she supposed.
Nope. Still didn’t curb the unease stirring in her gut.
An ache started in her jaw, and she rubbed at it, willing the muscles to relax. Ever since she had moved out of the house at eighteen, she’d developed this twitch in her jaw anytime her stress level went into the red. Usually that included occasions such as the first day of school and especially bad Tinder dates. Right now her muscle was hammering out a drum solo to a death-metal song.
You love her. She loves you.
That was the problem. The Jenkins family had a lot of love. And it was spread around as thick as their famous peanut butter. Her dad had been out of the picture for most of her life. He’d divorced her mom when Erin was really young, right after Andie had been born. Their mom had been invested in their personal lives ever since. The kind of devotion and passion saved for fantasy-football leagues and which Hollywood Chris was the swooniest (Chris Evans, because, c’mon, Captain America).
“Mom—” This weekend had completely drained her, leaving her with zero fight. Jake’s face as he’d dropped her off, that distant, far-off look, had been enough to darken the edges of what had been a fantastic weekend.
“Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ve gotten everything taken care of.” She pulled out a list from her purse. “I even printed off a list of jobs around here. The ones highlighted in pink are within a three-mile radius of the house.” She pointed farther down the list. “And the ones in yellow are within ten miles, but I think that’s acceptable since you’ve been so far away for the last decade.”
Had she also put prison bars on Erin’s window? Or would the installation be happening next week? “Gee, Mom. I don’t know what to say.”
Her mother gave her a quick pat on the leg. “Just looking out for my baby girl.”
Erin pasted on a smile. Her mom meant well. She really did, which was why Erin didn’t have the heart to feel anything more than slight annoyance. But she had to know the chances of her moving home and being subjected to this all the time were about as good as seeing snow on the Fourth of July.
She wrapped an arm around her mom. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember?”
Her mother waved a hand. “The doctor said I’m fine. I just can’t lift heavy things. Plus, what else am I supposed to do all day around the house?” She pointed to the list in Erin’s hand. “Just think on it, sweetie. One of those might be your forever job.”
Erin jiggled the pages. “Sure thing.”
As soon as her mom left her room, Erin sat down on the bed and blew out a sigh. She thumbed through the papers and frowned. There were quite a few opportunities here in town, much more than the sucktastic hiring freeze going on in California.
She shucked the list to the side and pulled out her laptop. When in doubt, overuse the good old clicker finger by hitting the “Refresh” button on her go-to job sites. A few clicks later, she was in her bookmarked Education Opportunities tab. A whopping one new job posting in the past seven days. She scanned through it. A middle-school position for social studies. Not even in her realm of qualifications. She always preferred beakers and meter sticks to dead kings. Desperate times called for one more click of the “Refresh” button. Nope. Still nothing.
Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, pulling her out of her job-despair spiral.
Her old roommate, Alexis. They’d taught together at Stephens Middle School. She was the seventh-grade math teacher, and they had lived together for the past couple of years.
ALEXIS: Miss my beach buddy.
With the text came a selfie of Alexis, lying on a beach blanket.
Erin frowned. This summer they’d had plans to lounge on the beach down in Southern California, drink way too much iced coffee, and buy planner stickers at Michael’s. Okay, the last two were happening regardless of her current situation, because what was life without caffeine and structure?
ERIN: Miss you, too.
ALEXIS: Anything new? When are you coming home? Your boxes are looking awfully lonely.
She stared at the text, debating whether to tell Alexis about her weekend with Jake. Erin hadn’t even mentioned him to Alexis. And telling her that she’d gone on a whirlwind wedding weekend that involved finger banging in the ice room at the reception? Yeah, that was a lot to explain over a text. Sloane and Madison would understand, though.
ERIN: Hopefully home soon.
Her mom popped her head back in the room. “Party starts in a few. Come on down when you’re ready.”
She blew her bangs out of her face as sweat slicked her body. She’d positioned herself in front of the oscillating fan set in the doorway of her room. With every rotation, it ruffled the frilly edges of the comforter. Even after twenty years of living in the same bungalow, her mom still hadn’t splurged for central air-conditioning. She had one measly window unit in the living room. Erin had been spoiled these past few years, her apartment cranked to a chilly sixty-eight. Right now, she was fifteen degrees past comfortable.
Thirty minutes from now, people would be arriving for her welcome-home party. The last party she’d been to was her goodbye party at her middle school. Every bite of that WE’LL MISS YOU, ERIN Costco cake burned like hydrochloric acid on the way down. She hated these types of parties. They brought way too much attention, when all she really wanted to do was slip out unnoticed.
Her brother appeared in her doorway, carrying a bright pink box. “Well, look who it is! How long will it take Erin to skip town?” Her brother gave her a wry smile.
Andie joined him, both of them taking up the doorway, blocking her delicious slice of breeze from the fan. “I give her at least till Mom starts going all emo at the party.”
“Nah. I’ll give her until Mom starts rearranging her sock drawer.”
“Can’t do that if I’m living out of a suitcase.” Erin closed her computer and jumped off the bed.
“So predictable. Let me guess—there’s an emergency escape hatch to the roof somewhere here.” He winked.
“Why do that when there’s a window?” She smiled sweetly. “And no, I won’t be making any unannounced escapes.” Ten years later and she still hadn’t lived down the whole “You thought I was going to a local college, and I snuck out and moved to California overnight” bit. Okay, maybe it had been a bit rash, but she had been eighteen and stupid.
“That’s right. Hotshot teacher of the year is going to be back in California before we know it.” Reece clapped her on the shoulder.
Those words added salt to the gaping wound in her pride. Just weeks before she’d been given the good old pink slip, she’d been named Teacher of the Year for her school district. A lot of good that title did when she didn’t have a classroom to teach in.
It wasn’t that she hated Portland. It was just . . . everyone here expected her to be something she wasn’t. She wasn’t going to take over the family business. She wasn’t going to be settling down and having kids anytime soon. Sometimes, it was best to leave the past in the past. And being in this house opened up a lot of feelings she’d long since buried.
“Come on. Let’s head downstairs,” she said.
In the time she’d been up in her newly converted princess cave, someone had decorated the entire downstairs in streamers and a banner spanning the fireplace that read WELCOME BACK, ERIN!
A cold sweat broke out on the small of her back, and the tiny voice in her head yelled at her like she was a character in a slasher film who was just about to get torn to ribbons by a knife-wielding psycho. Run, girl! Get out while you can!
The front door burst open, and one of her best friends stood in the doorway. “Where’s my girl?” Sloane took one look at Reece and then scanned the room. Erin didn’t fail to notice the quick glare she sent his way. Before she had time to contemplate that, a whir of blue hair raced across the hardwood floors.
Sloane let out a squeal and flung her arms around Erin. “I can’t believe it. I get to see my best friend in the flesh. I think the world is ending.”
“It’ll be ending a lot sooner for me if you keep squeezing like that,” Erin managed to get out while her best friend strangled her.
“Shit. Sorry.” She loosened her grip. “I’m never letting go. You’ll have to take me everywhere.”
“That’ll get a little awkward with the whole bathroom situation.”
“True.” Sloane let go completely and settled for an uncomfortably close distance. “I’ll accept a courtesy text while you’re in there to make sure you didn’t fall in.”
“I appreciate the concern, but I think I got it covered.”
She didn’t like this. Everyone making a big deal that she was home. She had emphasized when she’d wheeled her suitcase through the door that this was temporary. Why did everyone seem to be treating it otherwise?
“Who else is coming?”
“Just Madison, I think. Unless your bozo brother decided to invite his crew.” Sloane sent another glare his way.
Huh. She’d apparently missed quite a bit since she’d been gone.
“Yeah, that’s not happening.” She doubted Jake would be coming. He’d practically peeled out of the driveway when he’d dropped her off the other day. Also, what was up with the hostility toward Reece? Sure, she found her brother insufferable on the best of days, but that was because he was her brother, and he used to fart in her face. But he’d always been well liked by everyone else. Before she could ask Sloane what was up between them, a knock came from the front door.
She moved toward the front entrance, ready to be reunited with her other best friend. All three of them hadn’t been in the same room together since last Christmas when she’d barely gotten to see them because of the holiday weekend.
She grabbed the glass doorknob and twisted. The distressed red door creaked on its hinges as it swung open, and spit went down the wrong pipe when she saw Jake on the other side of the threshold.
She sputtered, trying to catch her breath. How graceful.
“You okay?” he asked. He put his hand on her shoulder, and moments from last weekend played like a highlight reel behind her eyes.
Just choking on my pride. No biggie.
“Yeah,” she wheezed. She wiped at the tears and spotted another guy beside Jake, who was maybe a couple of years younger than Erin, who reminded her of the lead actor on one of her favorite crime-fighting shows.
She worked to calm her racing pulse now that the coughing had subsided. Seriously? You spent all weekend with him. Act like a normal, functioning adult.
Although her students would beg to differ that she was anything but normal. She was more the stand-on-the-desk type, shouting, “O Captain! My Captain!”
Jake had the nerve to look even more amazing than he had on Saturday. His blue T-shirt strained against his biceps as he crossed his arms. The same ones she’d grabbed when he’d pinned her against the hallway wall.
The same ones that want nothing to do with you, chica.
It was a harsh reminder but a necessary one. She had no clue what he was doing here, but it sure wasn’t because he’d somehow realized he needed more from last weekend.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
His eyes widened a fraction. Even she was surprised by how rude that had come out. But really, what the hell? “I mean, not that you’re not welcome, of course you’re welcome to come. My mom’s probably made enough chip dip for the whole neighborhood.” And she was babbling. She turned to Mr. Abercrombie model, purposefully keeping her attention off Jake. “I’m sorry. I don’t think we’ve met.”
Pretty boy stuck his hand out for her to shake. “I’m Cole. I’ve heard great things about this chip dip.” Jake elbowed him in the side. “Oh, and welcome home.” He shrugged. He was cute in the same way the guys were down in the city. Carefully coiffed hair. Immaculate button-up and khaki shorts. An ego that might need a shoehorn to fit through the doorway.
Sloane sidled up next to her and wrapped her arm around Erin’s shoulder. “What she means to say is thanks for coming.” She stuck out her hand to Cole. “I’m Sloane, by the way.”
She glanced over at her best friend. Yep. She was busy making eyes at the new guy.
“Your brother invited us over. If you’d like me to leave, I can.” Jake stood there with a case of beer from a local brewery. His lips curved into a shy smile, and then the dimple appeared. That damn dimple that made Erin’s knees buckle.
Even she wasn’t a big enough jerk to send them packing.
“The more, the merrier.” Her voice pitched, and she quickly cleared her throat. “Come on in.”
She moved to the left to let the men in at the same time Jake moved to his right, and they bumped into each other. His body was solid and warm, and Erin was not noticing this one bit.
They both let out a nervous laugh.
Erin went to move to the right, and Jake moved to his left, again putting them right in front of each other.
“Oh, this is ridiculous,” she said.
“You.” He placed his one hand on her shoulder, his thumb lightly grazing her collarbone. “Stay here.”
He brushed by her, his shirt coming inches from her nose.
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. You’re not creepy. You have years of honing your chill factor.
She inhaled.
Okay, yep, she was creepy. And was about as discreet as one of her students trying to text in class.
Visions of Saturday came flooding back to her. The way his teeth had raked across his bottom lip as she’d stroked him. Her body was on edge, wanting to finish what they had started. She was in so much trouble.
It had been a mistake coming here. He knew that the second Erin opened the door. Jake was way out of his depths on this one.
Somehow he still had his hand on Erin’s shoulder. Because, as it seemed for the past week, his body and his mind had come to two different conclusions when it came to her. The logical one wanted to slide back into his truck and go home. The rest of him wanted to show her just how much he missed her touch. His fingers on his other hand were killing him, digging into the beer carrier like it was his one last shred of resistance.
Someone behind them cleared their throat. Erin quickly spun around, breaking the grip he had on her shoulder, and came face-to-face with her brother. Reece was staring at both of them, his arms crossed.
Erin mirrored her brother’s position, while Jake took a sudden interest the Jenkinses’ living room. Couch, fireplace, pictures above the mantel. Yep, all there. The last thing he wanted to do was piss off his buddy.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I getting in the way of your bromance? Don’t be so jealous, Reece.” She gave a playful slap to his cheek.
Reece’s gaze shifted from his sister to Jake, clearly assessing the situation. Jake lifted a brow, trying his damnedest to convey, No, dude, I didn’t bang your sister. Technicalities. Back in middle school, they’d read “The Tell-Tale Heart.” Even listened to a narrated version. Then, Jake thought the guy was just a bit off and maybe high on drugs. But now, he swore he could hear a heartbeat under the floorboards of the house. Maybe he was finally starting to crack. The back of his neck burned, and he contemplated coming clean to the guy right there in the middle of the Jenkinses’ entryway.
He exchanged another look with Reece. Something seemed to placate his friend, though, because his shoulders relaxed. “You kidding me? I’ve seen enough of this asshole to last me another forty hours.”
Crisis averted. For now. The thought of keeping anything from him didn’t sit well. And he knew he’d need to come clean sooner or later. Right now, he’d settle for later. Much later.
“Good to see you, too, buddy.” Jake turned to Erin. “Beverage for the party girl?” She looked up at him with wide hazel eyes. He’d felt like such a prick showing up here, especially after how he’d acted when he’d dropped her off on Sunday. Pulling up into the driveway and not even walking her to the door. His mother would definitely be warranted in her use of the wooden spoon for that one. But if he’d walked her to the door, he would have definitely done something stupid, like ask her out. No doubt in his mind he’d made the right decision.
“Sure,” she said.
He pulled one of the beers from the six-pack carrier, twisted the cap off, and handed it to her. She watched his arms the entire time, her teeth raking over her bottom lip.
Damn it, he couldn’t think when she looked at him that way.
“Thanks,” she said. And then she brought the beer to her lips, and Jake’s heart flatlined. And he realized that not once the entire weekend had he kissed Erin.
Smart move. He had a hard enough time trying not to think about her. About the tiny sounds that came out of her mouth as his fingers slicked over her. The taste of her lips would do him in, he decided.
“So you’re all on the same shift together? Like work wives,” Erin’s friend Sloane said. There was something going on between her and Reece because they kept glancing over at each other every few seconds, looking like they each might be trying to burn holes into the other’s head. Which was weird, because as far as Jake knew, they’d always been on good terms.
Erin took another sip of beer, and Jake had to tear his gaze away to answer Sloane’s question.
Before he could answer, Reece said, “Hollywood’s the work wife since he’s the prettiest.”
“You’re not my type. You snore,” Hollywood said.
“I told you that was allergies,” Reece retorted.
“Those two bicker like spouses. I stay clear of the drama,” Jake added, but his mind was other places, namely the storage room in the barn. Her legs wrapped around his waist. Those damn moans coming from her mouth.
“That’s because you have your own drama magnet at home,” Reece added.
“I’ll drink to that.” He took a deep swig of the beer. He’d dropped his daughter off at the airport earlier today. His heart had lodged in his throat for a solid thirty minutes after he’d watched her walk through TSA. He’d been home for only the amount of time it took to change into a clean shirt for the party, and the house had already felt empty. He missed Bailey’s heavy footfall along the hardwoods, her punk music blaring from her room. It was going to be a long three weeks.
“I’ll be right back.” He didn’t know where he was heading, just that he needed to get some air. He made his way through the living room, the kitchen, and out into the backyard. The wooden deck led to lush green grass, all blocked in by a white picket fence. He’d shot rockets off in this yard, kicked back in the hammock, and camped out in tents here. All that seemed like a different life.
He sat in one of the Adirondack chairs and leaned his head back against the wood. The air was crisp, the smell of the flowers and tomato plants from the Jenkinses’ garden potent in the light breeze. He could breathe out here. Being outdoors always helped clear the mind, even when his problem was less than twenty feet away.
“Didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” Erin stood in the doorway to the house, still nursing her beer. She moved onto the deck and shut the sliding door behind her, then took a seat in the chair next to Jake.
“Neither did I,” he admitted. But if he hadn’t shown up, he would’ve had Reece to answer to.
“Just wanted to say thank you for taking me to Josie’s wedding last weekend. It was fun.” Her cheeks flushed. “I mean, the wedding was fun. Although other parts were fun, too.”
“Erin.” He couldn’t do this. Not here.
“Oh my God, I just can’t shut up around you. One finger-bang session and I’m ruined.” She put her head in her hands.
Damn it, he needed her to stop being so . . . Erin. That bumbliness was fucking endearing. More than it would be on anyone else.
“Erin,” he warned. He needed to stop her before she said anything else. First, because Reece would murder him if he overheard. And second, the urge to stop her rambling with a kiss was quickly becoming a viable option the longer he was around her.
“Yeah?” She pulled her hands away from her face and took a sip of beer.
“Thanks for being my date. You’re a really good friend.” Why was this so hard? He shoved his hands in his pockets, and his fingers found the familiar coin. You can’t be with her. You have Bailey to think about. Just being around her messed with his resolve. “Sorry, I have to head out early, but it was really nice seeing you.” He stood and clapped her on the back. Like he would have when they were kids.
Wrong. That felt so wrong.
She looked up at him, those hazel eyes full of hurt, and he knew that he’d made a mistake. Her lips pulled into a tight smile. “Thanks for stopping by. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“I don’t know if that’d be a good idea.” He hated himself for saying that. But he’d laid the foundation. The damage was done. He strode back through the house. He told Hollywood he’d need to get a ride home from Reece, and then he made his way out to the truck.
Jake may not have known what tomorrow would bring, but he was sure of one thing. There was no chance he was seeing her again before she left. He’d make sure of it.