Chapter Twenty-Two
Okay, Erin wasn’t one of those people who needed instant gratification. She wouldn’t even classify herself as clingy. But Jake hadn’t responded to her texts in twenty-four hours. And it showed that he’d viewed them. What the hell was up with that? After their day at the river, she thought things were going well. Obviously, she was a horrible judge of this whole dating thing. Maybe he was just like all the other guys. She hoped he’d prove otherwise by at least bothering to text her back and ask her out again.
She slipped in next to her sister at the dinner table, whose mood seemed to have upgraded from arctic chill to frosty. At this rate, she’d have things smoothed over by Christmas.
“How are things going between you and Jake?” her mother asked.
This was a record. Food hadn’t even been scooped onto her plate yet, and she was getting the third degree.
The annoyance that usually followed a question like this from her mother didn’t come. Ever since they’d had their heart-to-heart, everything had settled down. They’d fallen into a nice rhythm.
“I don’t know. He hasn’t texted me back since yesterday.” She thought about calling him, but this was supposed to be a fling. No need to rock the boat. He’d call. Eventually. Maybe.
“Good,” Reece mumbled. With the way his eyes shifted, not meeting hers, that was a dead giveaway that he knew something.
Oh no. What had he done now?
Potential sibling assholery called for a kitchen interrogation session.
“Reece, do you want to help me get something from the kitchen?” Erin asked.
He speared a forkful of steak, the juices oozing out onto the plate. “Not really.”
She gave his shin a swift kick under the table. Ten years later and he still kept his legs in the exact same spot. Some things never changed.
“Ow. Shit.”
Erin shot him a glare, and he lifted his hands. “Yes, fine, I’ll go to the damn kitchen,” he said. He pushed back from the table and tossed his napkin next to his plate. “If Erin bashes my head in, wrap my steak in foil and save it for later, okay?”
“Heck no. If it’s a head wound, I’m not letting a perfectly good T-bone go to waste,” Andie said.
Erin made her way through the hallway lined with family portraits and artwork, past the den with the untouched furniture, and through the dividing doors, which flapped shut behind her. She tried for her best intimidating pose, but her brother had a full foot on her. Too bad he’d never been scared of her.
“Do you have something to do with Jake not returning my texts?”
His lips pressed together. Guilty. As. Charged. He tried to play it off with a shrug. “Maybe he’s just come to his senses.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m looking out for my friend, Erin. I love you. You know I do, but what are you playing at here?”
“What do you mean?” She stared at her brother. Hard. He’d always been on her side. Sure, they fought like any siblings do, but he’d never meddled with her relationship before.
“Jake’s getting forgetful on the job. He’s distracted. For fuck’s sake, he thought the girl we were treating yesterday was going to be you. I’ve never seen him move so fast.” His hands gripped the counter, the color in his knuckles draining to bone white.
Her heart made an unexpected U-turn in her chest. “How does that have anything to do with him ignoring me?” And why had he thought it was her? So many questions, and the one person she wanted answers from wasn’t returning her calls.
Reece’s hands formed into fists at his side. He looked like he was fighting for some type of control. “Don’t you get it, Erin? This is Jake’s life. My life is in his hands on these calls.”
When they were younger, Reece had always been the sensible one. Overly cautious. The one to remind her to put on sunscreen when they went outside. The one who held her hand to cross the street when they walked to school together. The one that was always in control of a situation. Whatever had happened yesterday had really spooked him.
“You’re blaming me for him being distracted?”
“Hell yes. The guy already has enough on his plate. He doesn’t need you playing with his feelings.”
What the hell? Is that what her brother thought of her? That she was just coming in here to stir up trouble and then leave on her merry way? If she could fight this damn attraction to Jake, she’d stay miles away from him. She’d do anything to avoid the inevitable pain of what the next few weeks would bring. It was looming in the distance, like a storm coming into the bay. What they’d shared at the river was something she’d never experienced before. She didn’t know if she’d ever experience it again.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. How many relationships have you had, Erin? How many guys did you just string along because you couldn’t commit?”
“You’re really judging me by my dating history. Get off your patriarchal high horse there, brother.” Oh, if she had the proper arm span to reach the giant oaf, she would deck him in the face right now. “I didn’t know I needed to submit a curriculum vitae to you before going out with your friend.”
“Have you changed? You move every few years. You never stay anywhere for long. Why is that?”
Her brother always did have a knack for sticking his thumb in the exact spot that would elicit the most pain. Right now, it was like he was digging his thumb into her solar plexus. Her breath barely made its way to her lungs.
“I had to move for different jobs,” she said.
“That’s bullshit. I think you’re afraid.”
That’ll be a yes for $2,000, Alex.
I’m always afraid, she thought. That little voice came out of nowhere, confirming her worst suspicion. The only time that little voice quieted was when she was with Jake. “You think you’re so perceptive. Maybe try taking a look in the mirror. I see a man who’s afraid to let go.” They all saw it. He’d never been the same after his high school girlfriend had left him to marry another man.
His eyes sharpened, and Erin immediately regretted bringing up that subject. It was a low blow, but Reece wasn’t exactly playing fair. “This isn’t about me, Erin.” He let out a frustrated sigh and raked his hand through his hair. “All I’m saying is he deserves better than that. He’s been through enough to have you come tearing through his life. You said it yourself. You’re leaving in the next few weeks. So do what you do best.” He waved his hands dismissively, as if she very well might disappear into a puff of smoke.
Erin had to admit that hearing her words thrown back in her face ranked up there with getting physically slapped.
“It’s not like that with Jake.” Then what is it? the tiny voice in the back of her head asked. She didn’t know. There was only one thing she was sure of at this point: she didn’t know how she was going to work things out because Jake and California were not synonymous. They were the parts of a Venn diagram that never overlapped. “And anyway, what happened to being the protective older brother in this scenario?”
He scoffed. “You’ve shown everyone you can take care of yourself.”
“I can.”
“Then do him a favor and don’t get involved unless you intend to stay.”
He brushed past her and out of the kitchen, most likely resuming his spot at the table. It’d been foolish to start this with Reece. She was leaving in a few weeks. Why pick a fight with her brother now? But she couldn’t let this go. The thought of Jake putting the team in danger because of her. Her stomach turned leaden.
She moved to the center island and picked at the grout in the tiles. No use going back to dinner. She wasn’t hungry.
“Mom, I’m heading out for a while,” she called. She grabbed her keys and drove.
Jake stared at the empty spot at the dining room table as he ate a bowl of cereal. Parenting had forced him to eat balanced meals, for Bailey’s sake. Since she’d been gone, he hadn’t cooked anything more complicated than chicken and rice. He couldn’t wait to pick her up from the airport tomorrow.
His phone sat next to him, blinking. Possibly another message from Erin.
He’d gone from full throttle, embracing the fling, to questioning everything. He still couldn’t believe he had let that interfere with his job, the one thing he held sacred.
Answer her back, asshole. Instead, he shoved the phone aside. Later. He’d figure out what to say to her once he got his shit together. Yesterday had rattled him to the core.
He took the last bite of cereal, pushed back from the table, and deposited the bowl into the sink. As soon as he cleared his place at the table, the doorbell rang. He glanced at the clock on the microwave and frowned. He hadn’t been expecting company, and this was getting a little late for solicitors.
He opened the door to find Erin standing on the other side, her arms hugging her body. The air in his lungs evaporated. Just seeing her immediately put his body on high alert.
“Hey.” He’d successfully avoided her for the last day, and he was planning on continuing that after the spook he had on his shift yesterday. Zero chance of that now that she was standing here, so damn gorgeous.
“I know you have been avoiding my texts, but I wanted to clear up some things,” she said.
Fuck. Leave it to Erin to never hold back. She said what she felt, and he respected that. It was a relief not to have to play mind games like some of his previous girlfriends had.
“Okay.” He opened the door wider, letting her inside. He’d been a dick to ignore her, but he didn’t want to commit to anything until he had some time to think.
“Reece told me about what happened yesterday.”
“Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment on the job.” One of the worst, probably. Besides the time he passed out in training and fell down a flight of stairs.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” In fact, if he could just ignore it for the rest of his life, that’d be just fine. “Want to come in?”
Shit. What was wrong with him? He should be distancing himself from her, but there was that damn magnetic pull between them that he couldn’t ignore.
She made her way to the kitchen and turned to Jake. “The river was a mistake.” She hoisted herself up to sit on the kitchen counter, her legs dangling over the edge. Those damn cutoffs rode high up her thighs, barely covering the spot he’d kissed two days ago.
“A complete mistake.” He moved closer to her, his arms resting on the kitchen counter, caging her in, standing between her legs.
Everything inside him roared, Let her go. Tell her to leave. But he couldn’t. Her breasts brushed against his chest, and she looked up at him with an intensity that turned his insides aflame. Something about her called to him like a damn beacon.
Her legs hugged Jake’s sides as he closed the distance between them.
“We can’t keep doing this, Erin.” The words were hollow. A feeble attempt to save himself. Because Erin was going to wreck him. And he didn’t know if he could handle it.
“I know.” She hopped off the counter and slid slowly down his body inch by inch. Jake fisted his hands in his jeans as a preventive measure to stop his fingers from tangling in her hair. Every damn cell in his body lit up, his cock swelling against his jeans. She moved past him toward the other end of the kitchen.
Jake walked behind Erin, watching the sway of her hips. Back and forth. Back and forth. The motion was mesmerizing.
She opened the fridge and bent over, rooting around for something, and came up with a beer. Christ. He’d take her right here if that didn’t sound like a horrible idea. He was supposed to be putting some distance between them.
Erin found the opener mounted to the underside of the counter and cracked open her beer. She took a long pull, her mouth so sweet and delicious the way it curved over the opening. Jake’s dick twitched in response.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he rasped.
“Enlighten me.” She took another sip and watched him as she lightly trailed her tongue along the edge.
“I have never had an issue with keeping my cool. Ever.” He swallowed hard, keeping his gaze on her face. Everything else would just remind him of the day at the river. “But I need you, Erin. To the point where you take up every bit of available space in my head. Hell, even when I’m asleep, I’m thinking of you. And then when we got the call yesterday about a female passed out on the riverfront, I lost it. I fucking lost it.” He could still feel the remnants of his heart tremoring at the thought of her lying lifeless on the ground. He’d gone through a spectrum of emotions over the past twenty-four hours, but shame remained a steady hum in his veins. He couldn’t afford to bring emotion into his job.
“I’m sorry. That must have been really scary.”
“You don’t get it. I’ve passed up chances with women for most of Bailey’s life. I wanted to protect her. Protect myself.”
Her lips quivered in response. And the wall Jake had tried to build to shut her out for good crumbled.
“I can’t pass this up with you. I can’t stop thinking about you. And I don’t want to. I’m sorry I ignored your texts yesterday. I just didn’t really know how to handle what was going on.” He moved closer to her.
Her chest rose and fell heavily in response. “I like you. A lot,” she said.
“I think we can assume the feeling is mutual.”
“I don’t want to give up what we have just because I’m leaving in a couple of weeks. I want to make the most of our time together. What you said out on the river—you’re not living scared anymore. Well, I’m not either,” she said.
“Let’s make our time count for something.” More than he could articulate. More than he wanted to admit. Because what he felt for Erin ran deeper than just liking her, and he wasn’t ready for that. At all.
His hands coasted down her waist and hooked under her ass, pulling her up until she wrapped her legs around him. He may not have had the words to show her how he felt, but he had other ways of letting her know.
His lips met hers, and he kissed her slowly, carefully. This was Erin. In his house. And it felt so goddamn right.
He moved past the entryway, up the stairs, and toward the back of his house until he reached his bedroom. His knees hit the edge of his bed, and he laid her down. She looked perfect there, sprawled out on his comforter, gazing up at him with eager eyes.
His heart squeezed in his chest. A few weeks ago, he didn’t think it’d be possible to feel anything toward someone. Yes, he’d been out with a few people, but none of them had slipped past his walls. Erin obliterated them with the Jaws of Life.
He promised himself he’d take it slow, but everything about Erin told him to move. Fast. To devour every inch of her while he could.
She sat up on her knees, and both hands tugged at the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. His hands glided up her stomach, pulling up the tank top, exposing her breasts. His lips moved from the arc of her neck to the valley between her breasts, finally swirling his tongue around her peaked nipple. Her body ached in response, and she let out a soft moan. He pushed her down until she was flush with the bed.
“I will make every moment with you count.”