Chapter Seventeen
Shoes everywhere…
After a trip to the local college campus to pick up another book, I entered the house and heard Hale speaking quietly. Assuming he was on the phone, I went about my business, but then I heard another voice.
Frowning, I peeked into the den and blinked. Mrs. Doubtfire was sitting on our couch. Literally.
“Rayne, I want to introduce you to Tilly Nesbit.”
Was he kidding me with a name like that? Her name was perfectly charming and appropriately dated to match her appearance. Wearing a floral blouse complete with a bedazzled chain that held her glasses, a woman of about a hundred and seventy looked at me, wearing enchanting church-grade makeup.
Well, isn’t that special… One of the minions in my head said in perfect Dana Carvey Church Lady voice.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I greeted, leaning in to shake her hand.
She smiled with a mouth full of dentures, the scent of floral talcum powder teasing my nose. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Rayne. It’s nice to put a face to the name.”
My smile was shy. “You have?” I glanced at Hale, my cheeks heating. “Were you talking about me?”
He shrugged and winked. “Just telling the truth.”
Mrs. Nesbit chortled, the sort of laugh only old women could nail. “He was telling me how wonderful you are with Laura.”
“Elara,” I quietly corrected.
“And how much little Laura adores you.”
My chest warmed and I tried not to get too full of myself, but it was too late. He thought I was good with his daughter, who adored me.
“Well, thank you. She’s a great baby,” I told Mrs. Nesbit. I seriously wanted to check if she was wearing Robin Williams’ foam bodysuit under that getup.
I gave Hale a look that I hoped told him, you say nice things about me, I’ll give you whatever you want.
He stood and hid a smirk. “I’m sure we’ll have an answer for you by the end of the week, Tilly. I’ll be in touch.”
The woman rose and nodded. Her hands clutched one of those change purses that had a two-ball silver closure. I didn’t know they still made them.
“It was nice meeting you, dear.”
“You too.” I watched as Hale escorted her to the door. When he returned, I grinned. “Is that the new nanny?” There was no chance of flirting with respectable old Tilly Nesbit.
“Possibly. I still have a few more interviews. I’d like you to be here when I meet them. Another one’s coming by tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I wanted to meet them, too, being that I’d really been bonding with Elara lately. Speaking of which… “She called her Laura.”
“She’s old.”
“If it’s just an unfamiliar name to her, that’s fine. But if it’s a forgetful thing, then we probably shouldn’t leave her in charge of the baby.”
He grinned and kissed me, his hand squeezing my hips. “I like when you say we in reference to Elara.”
I hadn’t realized I’d said we. I meant him. Or we. Whatever. “I just mean—”
“I know what you mean.” He kissed me again. “I won’t hire anyone who can’t remember my daughter’s name.”
I relaxed as he moved to collect some paperwork off the table. “Good.”
All of this concern for another person’s wellbeing was really overwhelming. It would probably be easier if I just did the job myself. “You know, I could keep watching her.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “I thought you wanted to go back to work for my dad.”
I shrugged. I wanted both. Couldn’t I somehow manage to have both? “I’m just saying, it’s no big deal for me to spend a few hours with her each day. As far as babies go, she’s not so bad.”
He chuckled. “We still need a sitter. I like my adult time.”
True. I liked that, too. “Okay.”
“But we have a little wiggle room. My dad’s heading back to New England this week.”
“He is? But he just got here.” Why hadn’t he said anything?
“I think he’s keeping company up there. He’ll probably be back and forth quite a bit.”
“Keeping company? What is that, code for old people sex?”
He laughed. “Don’t bank on the other person being old. They’re usually about our age.”
My nose scrunched. “Ew. Your dad’s a pervy old man.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
I heard Elara waking so I went upstairs to get her. Once I had her changed and fed, I walked her down to Remington’s. Hale was right. He was leaving.
“Will you be gone long?” I asked, rocking Elara in my arms.
“I should be back before you multiply again.”
“Multiply?”
“Every time I see you there’s a human hanging off your hip.”
I scoffed. “I am not multiplying.” I was on birth control. I was probably the only person alive to get arrested because I was in such a rush to take the damn pill and prevent ... multiplying.
“Just watch yourself. You have baby fever.”
I scoffed again. “I do not.”
His eyes narrowed. “There’s a pacifier clipped to your shirt.”
“The baby likes it!”
“I think you like it.”
Why was I even debating this? “So what if I do?”
He arched a brow. “Everything slows for women after children. Their careers, their education … their sex drives. Pace yourself before you get pinned down.”
“I’m not going to get pinned down, Remington. Jeez!”
“Am I interrupting?”
I turned to find Miles standing in the doorway. “No, we were leaving. I just came to wish you a safe trip.”
“I’ll be back in a few days, Meyers,” Remington called as I collected the diaper bag.
Like I could get knocked up that fast even if I wanted to. Gah! Why am I defending my ovaries to him—even if only in my head? I was on the Pill! He was an idiot and I did not have baby fever.
“Have a safe trip.” I gathered Elara’s things and left.
When we returned to the house, Elle was debating going with Barrett for a race along the Gulf. I was still unsure about her spending so many consecutive nights at sea with him. “This is a long trip.”
“It’s five days, Ray.”
“Can you tolerate that on a sloop?” I’d spent almost two weeks on The Lady Parr, Remington’s luxurious yacht—one of them—and that was enough for me. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in the ocean on some rinky-dink sailboat. No, thank you. I’d be talking to Wilson volleyballs by my second day in the sun.
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Elle said, biting her lower lip. She had a perfect beach tan from so many days at sea.
I knew she wasn’t worried about getting seasick, but it would have been my first concern. Elle was clearly still hung up on her lack of intimate memories.
“So just don’t do anything with him,” I suggested. I had been celibate for nearly a decade. Surely she could manage five days.
“It’s not that easy. Sometimes I want to, but I freeze up.”
“Okay, so pack a lot of sunblock and condoms. I can’t decide for you, Elle.”
She moaned and fell back on the bed. “I know. I’m being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not. I waited years until I found the right guy who I could actually share chemistry with.” But that probably wasn’t an issue with her and Barrett. “When you’re ready, you’ll know it.”
So off she went. Barrett was gone, Elle was gone, and once Remington and his entourage left it seemed a little too quiet at the house. Alfonse was still at the big house, but he wasn’t the most talkative chap. I studied and passed time with Elara while Hale worked.
Around noon the next day, the doorbell rang. A man in jeans and a dress shirt was on the other side holding paperwork. This must be the next nanny candidate. “Hi.”
“I’m looking for Hale Davenport,” he greeted with a casual smile.
“Come on in. You’re a little early, but that’s fine. Hale?”
Hale stepped out of the office. His surprise at seeing the nanny guy was quickly disguised with a welcoming smile. “Thanks for coming out.” He shook the man’s hand.
“Hale Davenport?”
Hale nodded and the man handed him what was likely his resume.
“You’ve been served.”
Hale’s smile disappeared and the man’s words clicked. I frowned as he let himself out of the house. Um… What the hell just happened?
Hale tore open the envelope and cursed. I glanced at Elara, who was playing happily, lying on her back. “What is it?”
“Jasmine. She’s suing me.”
“What?” How could that be? They were in negotiations.
He read over the paperwork and dropped into a chair. “I was afraid this would happen.”
“What exactly is she suing you for?” My stomach knotted as I glanced at Elara. We could run. We’d take the sloop and get fake identities and live off the land. Elara could learn to read from Aborigine tribes.
I was getting way ahead of myself. There was no way this woman could take Elara. My body started to tremble. Elara was ours. No one could threaten that. Right? Oh God, I was going to throw up.
“She’s going after me for intentional infliction of emotional distress.” His brow creased as he turned a page.
Okay, that wasn’t as bad as a custody suit. “She’s suing you because you hurt her feelings?”
He sighed, his mouth creasing with stress. “Our agreement was intended to make this easy on her. I guess my counter offer violated our initial agreement.”
This was my fault. I was the one who told Hale to try to get his portion of the estate back and give her something else. Everything had been finalized before Elara was born, but Hale made the mistake of offering Jasmine something too close to his family.
“This is a fucking mess,” he groaned, rubbing his forehead. “I’m being subpoenaed to a district court in Maine.” He stood, not looking at me and mumbled, “I have to call Clayton.”
Clayton was Hale’s attorney. I moved to the carpet and picked up Elara. Keeping my voice low, I whispered, “Everything’s fine. Everything will be fine.”
But everything wasn’t fine. Hale had two days to prepare and he wanted to get there early so he could meet with Clayton and go over some things in person. Marta and Miles were with Remington who was also in Maine.
“Why does the hearing have to be in Maine?” I asked as Hale packed a suitcase.
“Because the property’s in Maine.”
Elara dropped her pacifier so I washed it off and put it back in her mouth. Returning to the bed, I asked, “Can you just give in?” If this was about the property dispute, maybe it was better just to go back to the original agreement.
“I’m not doing that. I’ve been very accommodating and she’s been paid fairly. I offered her an additional ninety thousand and something just as valuable in exchange for the estate property. She’s taking advantage and if I show any sign of weakness, she’ll only take more.”
“You sound like your father.”
He raised a brow and sent me a look that said he didn’t appreciate the comparison. “I’m going to see about getting an extension with the judge. If I buy some time and talk to Jasmine, I can probably convince her it’s in her best interests to take the counter offer.”
I frowned. “Do you think it’s smart to contact her?”
This whole thing was about the stress he’d caused in the first place, not that Hale had put pressure on her. He was right. He’d been more than accommodating.
He scowled. “This isn’t her. This is a greedy lawyer getting in her head and convincing her she’s been misled.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
He sighed and sat on the bed. His hand brushed over Elara’s hair. “I’d rather you stay here. I had to postpone the interviews, but we really need to have someone available. I’d like you to reschedule with the candidates and then, if I get tied up in Maine, you and Elara can come there with the best choice.”
Part of him seemed to be preparing for a long, drawn-out process, which made me nervous. “What if I hire the wrong person?”
“You won’t. I trust you.”
Ugh. The pressure of expectations. Although, there was something nice about having his confidence. But still scary. I didn’t want to let him down. “But you’ll look at whoever I suggest, right? You’ll have the final say?”
“I trust you, Rayne. You’ll make a good choice.”
Since learning about Jasmine and the pregnancy and Remington’s part in everything, I’d been quietly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’d expected it to be loud when the shoe fell, but this was all very hush-hush big money, with lawyers and faceless players and some hokey claim about feelings being hurt. It was bullshit.
The longer I thought about it, the angrier I got. Hale was a good man and a good dad, and he’d been the only person to step up to the plate in a shitty situation when everyone else—the real people responsible—wanted to turn the other cheek.
I should be grateful it wasn’t a custody suit, but one accusation didn’t rule out the threat of another. If Hale exacerbated things, Jasmine might go in for the kill. And it would destroy us to lose Elara.
She was his daughter. She was our baby. Well, not mine, but I was here and I loved that little, pudgy-faced angel and I’d seriously go Cujo on anyone who tried to take her from us.
When Hale left for the airport my worries suffocated me. I’d tried to contact Elle and Barrett, but it seemed they weren’t getting my texts at sea. Why didn’t the Gulf have better cell towers? Damn it.
I made it about twenty-six hours unsupervised before I freaked out. Elara sensed my stress and added to it, not taking her bottle and being particularly fussy.
It was no surprise my anxiety landed me in the bathroom with cramps because that’s what I did when I worried. Elara, a girl after my own heart, did the same and went through several diapers.
She hadn’t napped and I really needed a break, so I did my best to tire her out. Because I couldn’t stop sweating and Elara had puked on my dress, I changed into one of Hale’s dress shirts and a pair of socks.
“I think you’re ready for real food,” I told Elara. “We’re going to have a talk with Daddy about getting you on some baby cereal.”
She continued to cry as I mixed up another bottle. Hopefully, this one would stay in her stomach.
Crying was a funny thing. Sometimes it was quiet. Sometimes it was ugly. But when a baby cried for hours on end it was enough to make a person question their sanity and jam an icepick in their ear.
I went to the stereo and sorted through Hale’s playlist. “Ugh, your dad’s selection of music is abysmal.” Seriously, what kind of man bought the Les Mis soundtrack?
“This might work.” I cued up Bob Seger and Elara looked around curiously as the music filled the house.
It was enough to stop the crying. If I could get a bottle in her and tire her out, I might be able to trick her into a nap. She took the bottle, but then she was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to party.
I put her in her bouncy seat and threw my weight into the couch. “Why aren’t you tired?” I groaned. Then I arched a brow as I had an idea.
Glancing around the house, I sat up. “You want to party? Okay. Let’s party.”
I grabbed the pewter candleholder off the sofa table and went to the stereo. “Prepare to be dazzled by my incredible dance skills.”
Cranking up the volume, I spun on my socks and slid across the floor in front of Elara when the piano keys pounded out the most memorable riff Bob Seger had ever created.
I twirled, in perfect timing with the chord progressions, and Elara’s eyes widened. “Take those old records off the shelf!”
I was so Risky Business it wasn’t even funny. I fist pumped. I cocked out my leg. I even did a little butt jiggle at the fireplace. My coffee table air guitar was top notch. Bob Seger really didn’t get the respect he deserved.
And then everything went silent.
I stilled and Elara cooed, hiccuping a laugh. Turning slowly, I blinked at Alfonse.
Lowering my arms, I casually stepped off the coffee table—very Snoopy sliding away from Schroder’s piano—and cleared my throat, placing the candlestick down.
Flattening the tails of Hale’s shirt over my butt, I simply said, “The baby likes Bob Seger.”
He blinked. “Mr. Hale asked me to see if you needed anything. I’m going to the store.”
Moving behind the couch, so my bare legs weren’t on full display, I sputtered, “Um … yeah. Could you get some baby cereal?”
He nodded. “Anything else?”
Dignity, if they’re selling it. “That’s all. Thanks.”
He turned and left. I exhaled and groaned as I collapsed onto the sofa.
Arching a brow at Elara, I mumbled, “See what happens when you don’t nap?”
She finally passed out on my chest around four. Hale still hadn’t called and I was getting squirrely waiting around. When the phone finally rang it startled me awake. Searching the coffee table, I dug it out of the mess of rattles, baby wipes, and soiled diapers.
“Hale?”
“Hey, baby.” He sounded relieved to be talking to me, which meant he wasn’t having the best day.
“How’s it going?”
He sighed. “Her lawyer’s a real piece of shit. My father’s lawyer dealt with him before. A real sleaze.”
“Did you tell Remington what’s going on?”
“He knows. I’m going to try to have a sit down with Jasmine before our meeting with the lawyers tomorrow.”
I frowned. “She’s there? I thought she was in Europe.”
“Apparently, her lawyer felt it would be more favorable for her to be present. I’m trying to keep her away from the estate without stepping on her toes too much.”
Because, technically, the property was hers until she accepted a counter offer. “Where are you staying?”
“I’m with my dad. I miss you. How’s Elara?”
“She’s good.” There was no sense in worrying him. “We’re watching Little Shop of Horrors.”
“Good. If all goes well, I should be back late tomorrow night. There’s a nanny coming by tomorrow morning around ten. The other one canceled. This one’s named Jason and he works for the YMCA. Feel him out, but don’t commit to anything until you meet all the candidates. I should be back for the rest of the interviews.”
“Okay. Why don’t you get some rest? You sound tired.”
He sighed again, which was very unlike him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I wasn’t a fan of an empty house. True, Elara was there, but Hale’s absence was sinking into my bones like an old arthritic ache that I felt with every breath and motion.
Jason was a nice kid—a little awkward. He was a junior at State and working toward a degree in child psychology. I asked fancy questions like why he’d consider leaving his job at the Y and I wrote down all his well-practiced answers, but I didn’t feel like he formed any actual bond with Elara during the interview.
When he left, I put Elara down for a nap because her sleep bank was a little depleted from yesterday. Then I cleaned the house because it looked like a frat party came through. Fine for me, not so fine for neat-nick Hale.
I was wiped by the time I put my little bubble butt to bed that night and I hadn’t heard from Hale aside from a few generic texts. I showered and changed into pajamas, and then returned to the den. Bed was boring without Hale.
Flicking through channels, I bounced back and forth between Monsters Inc. and Black Hawk Down, because I couldn’t figure out what kind of mood I was in. With my knees folded under my snuggie, I watched explosions on screen and fell asleep sometime around Sully getting sent to the Himalayas.
A hand brushed over my shoulder, scaring the bejesus out of me. “Sniper!” I tried to jump off the couch, but my foot tangled in the fabric and I went down.
“Jesus, Rayne.” Hale rushed around the couch and helped me up. “Are you okay?”
My butt hurt, but that didn’t matter. “You’re home!” I wrestled off the snuggie and hugged him with all of my strength.
He grunted and wrapped his arms around me. “I told you I’d be back.”
My arms tightened. “I know. I just really missed you.”
He sighed and kissed my lips. “How did the interview go?”
“Okay.” I felt bad, giving him more bad news. “He’s just not our guy.”
Hale nodded. “We’ll keep looking.” The corners of his eyes wore lines of stress. “I need a shower and my bed.”
I reached for the remote and shut off the television, happy to join him. When we made love it was gentle and tender. We held each other close and I savored being in his arms again.
As I laid next to him in the silence, comforted by his familiar breathing, I thought about how we somehow passed the point of being apart. I didn’t like being away from Hale and I suspected I’d never live in Oregon again.
Snippets of home played through my head, the familiar roads, the nostalgic places we hung out, my mom’s house, my old room. Those things, in which I’d found such security for so many years now seemed small and faded. I didn’t want to go back there. This made me happy, if also a little sad.
Rolling my head on the pillow I faced Hale. His narrow nose and soft lips were so pretty when he slept, so at ease. Tonight I saw something in his eyes, a sort of desperation that wasn’t usually there. He’d held me and whispered how much he hated being away from me, how he never wanted to let me go. At first, I thought he was lost in the moment, but now I realized he was speaking of something deeper.
My future was here, with him. Oregon was my past. Everything I wanted always seemed so blurry and uncertain, but now it was staring me in the face.
I wanted Hale. I wanted Elara. But these weren’t simple wants. They were great big terrifying needs that might break me in permanent ways if I didn’t get them.
I snuggled into Hale’s side. Even in his sleep he pulled me close and nestled his face to my hair.
“You okay, baby?” he slurred.
I smiled. I was okay. Just a little jarred at how clear my hopes were after the last few days.
I again looked at the ring on my finger, a sense of warmth heating the marrow of my bones as I understood Hale was my person in this life. He was my permanent piece that gave me no other choice but to fully commit my heart and soul to his. It was definitely scary, but also a relief after so many years of drifting through life without an anchor.
As I realized this was where I belonged and where I would stay, the strangest thing happened. A tear slipped from my eye and trailed down my cheek. I was happy. Sometimes it was hard to realize I was growing up.