Chapter Sixteen
That’s not an entrance…
My days continued to revolve around Hale and Elara, and it was no surprise that Elle continued hanging out with Barrett. Our nights were peaceful, interrupted only by my weekly astrology course, which I told Hale I was taking to get his dad off my back. He laughed, knowing how much Remington likely disapproved of my concentration.
But other things remained on my mind. Jasmine’s lawyer had not responded to Hale’s counter offer yet, so that was always a lingering thought. But beyond those worries were other concerns, namely, my butt.
Studying for my first exam required a lot of night work and stargazing. This was fine because the best ways to look at stars was with a lover and a good bottle of alcohol. I had both available, so we made a habit of floating in the pool at night and watching the sky. And we, of course, did this naked.
As we drifted in the water, I named constellations. If I didn’t know the constellation’s name, I simply made it up, because let’s face it, I promised to take a class, not ace it.
“That’s Rhiniferous’s Dong.”
Hale chuckled. “It’s big.”
“Like all rhiniferouses’ dongs are.”
He paddled us to the edge of the pool and put down the bottle of wine. We drank from the bottle because glasses spilled easily and sometimes pool water got in the cups. Slipping off the raft, he disappeared under the water.
Hands shoved at the underside of my raft, rocking me as I clung to the float, but it was too late. Over I went, my scream silencing as I plunged into the heated water.
Sputtering, I broke the surface and swam after him, climbing up on his back as I tried to dunk him. He wrestled me into the water. My slick legs coiled around his hips. Laughing, we played like children and teased like lovers until we were both obviously aroused and winded.
We waded for a while, kissing me under the stars and talking about nothing in particular. Somehow, his body found its way into mine and we stayed like that, attached, but not really having sex. Anchored.
It was incredibly intimate and I wished we could sleep like that, together in the warm pool. But drowning was bad, so I kept my eyes open, my head resting on his shoulders as he held me safely in his arms.
His hands cupped my butt and slowly massaged. I sighed, my thoughts once again returning to all the videos Elle and I had watched the other day. My curiosity had become a living thing.
I wanted answers, not just about my body, but about Hale’s and where it had been and if it wanted to revisit certain places. He said he only needed me to meet his needs. But what if he wasn’t being upfront about all he needed or wanted?
“Speaking of Uranus,” I said, breaking the silence. “Have you ever had anal sex?”
Hale stilled and then chuckled. “Why do you ask?”
I shrugged. “Just curious.”
Hale had rules when it came to discussing past relationships, so getting an answer out of him would be like getting a unicorn to introduce me to a leprechaun.
“Is that something you want to do?”
Lifting my head off his shoulder, I looked at him, trying to read his expression. But with only the moon and stars for light, I didn’t glean much. “Not if you don’t.”
“Not all women like it.”
“Well, I’ve never done it, so I don’t know if I’d like it or not.”
“I’d be gentle.” That definitely wasn’t rejection.
My body tightened and, being that he was still inside of me, he felt it. “I’m curious.”
“We can try it,” he whispered. “If you don’t like it, we can stop.”
I had a sense he’d done it before, but he wouldn’t confirm my suspicions. “When?”
“Not tonight. I want it to be right.”
I returned my head to his shoulder. “Okay.”
And there started a little knot of anticipation that pulled tighter and tighter with every passing day.
A few nights later while having sex, Hale’s thumb grazed my backdoor. Everything inside of me clenched, locking up like Fort Knox.
Hale grunted. “Rayne, what are you doing?”
“Not yet!”
“Not yet what?”
“Back there. I’m not ready.”
“Loosen up. You’re choking me.”
“Oh, sorry.” My muscles relaxed and he slid into me, his hand no longer by my ass. “I just wasn’t ready.”
“I told you, you would know when it’s going to happen.”
“I know, but I got nervous.”
Every night I balanced somewhere between mildly relaxed and on high-anal-alert until one night after my shower I found a fancy glass bottle on my dresser. It was lube.
Of course, this didn’t help me relax. I mean, I was excited, but I was also scared. So I did what I always do when unsure. I made a cocktail and googled.
I got a lot of tips about relaxing and taking deep breaths. Apparently, not freaking out was the golden ticket to paradise.
While some women loved it, others hated it. I had no idea what sort of woman I’d be, and my prior sexual encounters only enhanced my apprehension. Before Hale, there had been so much awful. So, so, so, so much. I remembered lying there, my boobs jiggling as some guy prodded my lady bits and thinking, how the fuck was this supposed to be pleasant?
Then there were the times the guy barely got it in, made a few enthusiastic groans, grunted, and it was done, leaving me wondering what I’d missed. Sometimes it was unremarkable, other times it hurt, and each time I was left underwhelmed until I decided I never wanted to have sex again.
That all changed when I met Hale. He got me. He knew I had a habit of getting lost in my head and overthinking everything, which was what I was doing now. So it didn’t surprise me when his text interrupted my search.
Stay off the Internet.
I chuckled and totally ignored him. I didn’t put down my phone until Hale walked into our bedroom and I was staring at an image online that I’d never be able to bleach from my mind’s eye.
He tsked. “I told you to stay off the Internet.”
“I should have listened.”
He took the phone from my hand, shut it off, and placed it on the nightstand. Everything running through my head was the absolute opposite of sexy. Sporadic thoughts about Mexican food and gerbils. I suddenly wanted my drink box and crayons and nothing to do with adult matters or butt sex.
I’d definitely gone to the wrong websites.
Hale stripped out of his clothes and watched me, a promising glint in his eye, but I was of the mindset to keep to the other side of the room. He pulled back the covers and shut out the lights.
I carefully curled up on the far edge of the bed and faced the wall. “Well, goodnight.”
He chuckled and yanked me across the mattress until I was flush against him. His hand closed over my chest as he kissed my shoulders. “I forgot what you’re like when you’re nervous.”
I laughed, sort of hollow, as my fingers protectively cupped the space between my legs. He continued to kiss my shoulders gently and my body slowly relaxed, but never enough to part my legs. I wasn’t braced for a dick up my ass. Why had I even suggested such a thing?
He rolled me onto my back and kissed me, his tongue stroking slowly against mine as he softly rubbed his body over my front. Okay, this wasn’t so bad.
His fingers entwined with mine as he lifted my arms one by one, pressing them into the pillows. His mouth traveled to my chest, his tongue tracing the wing of my collarbone as he made his way to my breasts. My body arched, not at all listening to the warnings running through my head.
He really took his time, sucking gently as I continued to relax. My fingers ran through his soft hair, holding him to me. This was the sort of sexy time I liked, the kind that didn’t make you call out obscenities. Somehow, he distracted me and managed to get his fingers between my thighs. Stroking tenderly, he teased my clit and my body—the traitor—opened for him.
Kissing down my belly, he gently probed, working his mouth against my core. When he had my legs over his shoulders I was inconsolably lost to the pleasure. I writhed and panted and called out his name as he delivered my first climax.
There was no going back at that point. Hale was a magician when it came to pleasuring me that way. It was how he’d first convinced me to take off my clothes and do other things.
He continued to explore my lower regions, petting my folds and kissing me in the most sensitive places. I sucked in a breath as his touch ventured further south. Oh, God.
His caresses remained gentle. Jesus, he was really invested, because as he continued to kiss and probe, I eased into what felt the start of another climax. He coaxed and fondled and there was definitely more lubrication than my body could naturally produce. It was all really pleasant until the pressure came.
“You okay?”
My eyes held wide as I slowly blinked. “Is that your finger?”
He chuckled and kissed my thigh. “Yes.”
Yeah, his dick was never fitting. That car was simply too big for this garage. Stiff as a board, I pouted. So much for that idea. Then I exhaled quickly as his little finger—feeling much larger than usual—sank inside.
I hissed in a breath. “Holy fuck.”
“Give it a second.” His hair teased my hip as he lowered his face and gently kissed my clit. I breathed hard as his finger slowly started to move, not just in and out of my backdoor, but another one was sliding in and out of my vagina too. My God, he was a multitasker.
Sinking my weight into the bed, I breathed as he pressed into me, driving my heart rate up until I was panting and spreading my legs wider. It actually wasn’t that bad, and there was something on the horizon, something I could sense but didn’t fully trust.
His fingers picked up the pace, his words dancing over my senses as my body became a waterfall at his command. He tasted my arousal as the air thickened with the scent of sex.
“That’s it, baby. So fucking sexy.” Thrusting his fingers faster, the steady penetration continued, deeper, firmer, harder…
Then it hit me. My orgasm came so suddenly I practically howled. My body broke into a cool sweat as every muscle inside of me quaked under the force of my release.
Hale continued to pump his fingers and his mouth dropped to my clit. I was caught in a vortex of ecstasy as one orgasm folded into another, my body splayed beneath him, completely under his control.
He kissed over my hip and rolled me to my stomach. His tongue was everywhere. I was past caring because no matter how relaxed I was, my body never left the cusp of climax. He had me totally on edge in the most divine sense of the word. If I tensed, he felt it and brought me back down. And soon I was on my stomach.
Gripping my ass cheeks, he pulled them apart and slick heat coated my skin. My brow tightened as the blunt tip of his cock nudged me. His fingers pressed in, stretching the muscle and spreading oil around and then came the pressure again.
I sucked in a deep breath when it seemed too much to bear, but he didn’t ease back this time. Everything inside of me locked as he kept going, slow and steady, until I was breathing faster than Zul in Ghostbusters as if waiting for the Keymaster. And then everything stopped.
My breathing slowed and my hearing muffled as he held himself buried inside of me. “Breathe, baby.”
I let out a gusty breath and realized I was white knuckling the duvet, but nothing in the world could make me loosen my grip. Hale drew back by the slightest degree and pressed in again. I groaned, because, well, there was a big cock rammed up my ass.
There wasn’t any sort of burning, per se, but there was extreme pressure. I actually believed I couldn’t move without his help. I suddenly understood why people said this was so intimate. He truly had absolute and total possession of me in that moment.
His weight shifted as his legs brushed against mine. His flat stomach and hard chest warmed my back as his lips traced the slope of my shoulder. “You still with me, baby?”
I nodded, but only slightly.
His voice was gravelly, thick with arousal and desire. “This is as strong as trust gets in the bedroom.”
He slowly withdrew and pressed in again, nothing like what they showed on pornos. The moment was not a side dish lost in the midst of some sexual smorgasbord. It was not an appetizer. It was the main fucking course. The piece de resistance of the menu, the delicacy with the highest price tag. And it couldn’t be rushed. It had to be savored.
There was absolutely nothing casual about anal sex and I couldn’t wrap my brain around how anyone could see it as otherwise. The butt hole was now, and would forever be deemed, the trust hole. It was the entry into things I hadn’t fully considered when I suggested we try it.
“Hale?”
He held himself still and rasped, “Yeah, baby?”
“I love you.”
I could sense his body relaxing into mine as his lips curved against my skin. “I love you, too, Rayne. So much.”
His lips pressed to my neck as he guided my body and moved slowly, deeper, and the pressure transcended into sensations I couldn’t begin to describe. With all of my anxiety and worry, I’d never considered how incredibly beautiful this could be. Hale held me close, whispered softly into my ear as he caressed and kissed my skin.
“My beautiful Rayne. Where was I before you? Lost.” His touch was so reverent. I couldn’t imagine giving this part of myself to anyone else.
And then ecstasy took hold, deep and penetrating. My body collided with his, naturally, riding one wave of pleasure into the next without ever letting go.
In the end, I felt changed, altered in some unnameable way. It was as if this act had somehow reaffirmed our connection, emphasized our trust in one another and strengthened the foundation of everything we stood on together.
Hale was so gentle with me, not just during, but after. He pulled me close and cuddled me. I assumed he’d always owned a part of me, being that he could touch pieces of my soul others had missed. But tonight I felt claimed and nothing inside of me wanted to pull back. I felt safe and secure and cherished in a way I’d never known before.
“Are you really okay?”
Startled by his question, I rolled to my side to face him. “What do you mean? Of course, I’m okay. That was lovely.”
He nestled his face close to mine, his breath teasing my ear. “I demand a lot of you in bed. But you always go beyond satisfying me, Rayne. You’re different … from other women.”
My chest warmed as his words sank into my soul. “I’ll always give you what you need, Hale. I don’t want you to ever feel like you need to look elsewhere.”
“I never would. I only want you, baby.” His lips found mine in a slow and drugging kiss. Sleepy, we eventually eased apart, me resting on my back, my head cradled in the crook of his arm while he shut his eyes and wore a face of absolute contentment.
Hale demanded a lot outside of the bedroom as well, but he wasn’t an irrational person. Everything he did had a logical reason behind it. I envied that about him, so much so, I no longer resented his stubborn side. Deep down I believed everything Hale did in terms of our relationship worked toward a happy future that included him and me.
Staring at the ring on my finger, I rested against him and sighed. My mind ventured farther than I typically let it stray as I considered his words the night we watched the sun set in Mallory Square.
Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad wearing a ring from Hale on my left hand. It actually might be nice to have a token of his love, one that openly laid a claim, showing the world my heart belonged to him and his to me.
For the first time in my life, the idea of commitment didn’t scare me so much. It called to me. I was very much in love with this man and I couldn’t imagine letting him go.