Carl

 

That horrible moment when time stands still. When you see the inevitable, the horror unfolding right in front of you, but you are powerless to do shit about it.

I couldn’t tell you the moment my breath caught in my throat, when that instinctual sense of dread enveloped me and chilled me to the bone. Their jump just didn’t look right, didn’t feel right, and had me pushing through to the barrier before they’d even fallen, helpless and petrified as our beautiful girl went tumbling.

Samson’s legs went from under him, and he went forward, and Jesus, they landed so hard, both of them, and there was a scream, a horrible scream as she took his weight, a horrible thump as they landed and slid.

And then she was still. Our beautiful girl was still.

Samson writhed on the floor, and there was blood. His eyes were wild and frantic, his instincts raging as the officials rushed over.

And so did we. Rick and Debbie, and David, too. All four of us piling over the rope.

Katie’s eyes fluttered as she regained consciousness, her gaze flicking around before the horror came rushing back. Her face contorted with pain, her leg still stuck under Samson’s shoulder, and she was ashen, so ashen.

“My leg!” she screamed. “It hurts! It hurts so bad!”

The officials were trying to stop Samson struggling, but he was wild, his legs flailing. He couldn’t get a grip against the slope of the bank, trying desperately to get enough leverage to take his own weight and failing. Both of his front legs were bloody, but one looked worse, his hoof hanging awkwardly as he flailed.

I felt sick. So fucking sick.

Not so much at the injury, but at the expressions on the faces of the people who knew this kind of shit. The people calling for medical assistance on their walkie-talkies.

They hitched Samson enough to free Katie’s leg, and she screamed a terrible scream as they pulled her out, and pulled her clear. Her mother was at her side, and so were we, trying to tell her it would be alright, that she would be alright, but she wasn’t even listening. Her eyes were fixed on Samson and were streaming with tears.

“Help him,” she said, and her hand clutched at mine. “I don’t care about me, just help him! Oh God, Carl, don’t let them hurt him. Please don’t let them hurt him!”

She pushed me towards him, and I moved, a tentative step towards the fallen animal. And I was impotent, for the first time in my adult life I didn’t know what the fuck I should do.

The paramedics arrived, and gave Katie some oxygen, painkillers, too, talking in calm voices as they tried to examine her leg. They made her lie flat and fastened her into a neck brace, splinted her leg as she cried into the oxygen mask, and I was scared, so fucking scared. I shot Rick a pitiful look and he was ashen, too, crouched at Katie’s side while she death-gripped his forearm, her mother on the other side of her with tears in her eyes.

I closed the distance between me and Samson, and David appeared at my side. He gave me a look that said this was futile, and his knowledge of eventing horses filled me with absolute dread.

“We have to save that horse,” I said under my breath. “Whatever it takes, David.”

He nodded, patted my shoulder.

A guy who was clearly a vet was crouched at Samson’s forelegs as a couple of stewards held the animal down, and his face was stern.

“How bad is it?” I asked. “Please tell me you can fix him.”

My heart was in my throat as he tipped his head from side to side. “We need to get him up, he fell awkwardly, I hope he can stand.”

“And if you can’t get him up? If he can’t stand? What happens then?”

David gripped my elbow, and I knew. And so did Katie.

“No!” she screamed. “Carl, don’t let them! Whatever it takes, Carl! Please don’t let them hurt him!”

It broke my heart to see her there, in so much pain, with so much fear. The paramedics busied themselves preparing her for the ambulance, and Rick and Debbie looked so helpless, as helpless as I felt.

“He has to be able to support his weight,” David said, his voice so low. “If they can’t get him up, Carl…”

I shook my head. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much this horse means to that girl. We have to get him on his feet.”

He nodded.

“Clear some space,” the vet said, and they gave Samson some room. He braced his forelegs on the ground, even the mangled one, and attempted to push himself up. I held my breath, willed fate to give him a break, but the poor brute slipped and fell, collapsed back against the bank, his sides heaving. I cursed under my breath.

The vet shrugged, shot me a fatalistic glance.

“He just needs some help,” I said. “Let’s give him some help. Come on David, help me.” We joined the stewards, and as the poor brute strained for a second attempt, I put my hands under his flank and lifted, pushed him upright with all my strength. “Come on, Samson,” I hissed. “Come on boy, get on your feet. There’s a good lad.”

David pushed and I pushed, and we gave it everything we had to help that horse back to standing. He braced his weight on one of his forelegs, and he wavered just a moment as he struggled for grip. We gritted our teeth, held him steady, and his weight shifted as he lurched and heaved. His leg held, took the weight, enough for his back end to come up and under him.

A big lurch, and a shove from us at his side, and he was on his feet. The boy was on his feet.

I was breathless, heady, my forehead pressed to Samson’s sweaty neck as he struggled to limp forward on his battered legs.

“Tendon damage,” the vet said. “Extensive, I’d say.” He looked at me, looked at David. “This horse is unlikely to work again.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. None of that matters.”

“His recovery will be expensive.”

I waved my hands and so did David, and for that one moment our thoughts aligned in perfect sync.

“Whatever it takes,” I said.

“Fine,” the vet said, and got to work.

They limped Samson from the course, and applied cold compresses as the horse ambulance arrived.

I let them do their job, let the experts take over.

And I begged fate for mercy.

 

“You saved him,” Katie whispered as they lifted her into the ambulance. Her voice was muffled and fragile, her eyes so sad.

Our beautiful girl looked so broken, so weak, all trussed up on a stretcher.

I leaned over her. “No,” I said. “I just helped him up.” I gestured towards David. “We both did.”

“Good job, Carl. David,” Rick said, and Katie’s hand was still clamped tight to his wrist.

“I want to ride in the ambulance with her,” Debbie said. “Can you follow us?”

“There’s room for one other,” the paramedic said, and Rick looked at me.

“Go,” I said. “I’ll meet you there.”

Katie tried to move, tried to lift her head to me, but Rick and Debbie held her firm. “Don’t leave Samson!” she cried. “Please don’t leave him, Carl! Don’t leave my boy!”

“I won’t,” I promised, dipping my face to hers, and she relaxed, her eyes fluttering as they took her away.

I watched the ambulance pull away, sirens blaring, and my heart dropped through the floor.

“I’ll go with Samson,” I said to David. “Wherever they’re taking him.”

He looked across at an ashen Verity, a shocked-looking Olivia at her side. Seb and Dommie looked sullen, and I realised we were all feeling it, every one of us. Olivia took a step towards David, beckoned him over, but he didn’t move. He held up a hand, indicated she should stay put, that they should all stay put, and then he turned to me, his eyes on Samson as they tried to load him into the truck.

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

 

We followed the horse truck, thoughts heavy as I kept the Range close behind. My legs were shaky and my nerves were shot, my mind veering between the poor brute in front of us and my poor sweet Katie on her way to the hospital. I hoped they’d stabilised her, hoped to God she wasn’t in too much pain.

“I’m having Samson directed to our vets,” David said. “They’re the best, Carl, we use them for Verity’s show breeds. They’ll do their very best for him.”

I nodded. “I’ll take your guidance. I know fuck all about horses.”

He sighed. “Poor girl. Poor, poor girl.”

“Just so long as the horse lives, David. She’ll be ok as long as Samson’s ok. She’s tough.”

“Like her mother.”

“And her father,” I said.

I could feel his eyes on me. “You were right there beside her. You looked as damn well rotten as we did, Debbie and me.”

“We love her, David. As I said.”

His hand landed on my arm. “I can’t say it’s the situation I’d have opted for my daughter, being with two men. I can’t say the revelation filled me with joy, Carl. But despite my initial reservations, having thought things through, having known both you and Rick long enough to know the kind of men you are, you have my blessing.” He laughed gently. “For all that’s bloody worth.”

“It’s worth a lot,” I said.

“I’ve never been much of a fan for the path well-trodden, Carl. You know me. I make my own route, go my own way.” He sighed. “I should have expected Katie would share my lack of respect for mindless convention.”

“We work well, the three of us. You’ll get to see that. Hopefully.”

“Hopefully,” he said. “I’d like that.” He shifted in his seat, exhaled a long breath. “I’d love to get to know my daughter, Carl, that’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“You’ll be impressed. She’s really something.”

“So many years to make up for.”

“Better late than never, David. Tomorrow is a brand new day.”

We followed the truck to Cirencester, parked up alongside as they pulled to a stop at an equine facility. It looked the business. I felt the tension ease just a little.

He was in safe hands, efficient hands. A team of vets and assistants got to work, unloading him with care and supporting him through to their treatment suite.

We took a seat in the waiting area, grabbed a coffee, just like we were at a regular hospital.

“Thanks for this,” I said. “I wouldn’t have had a fucking clue.”

David sighed, took a sip of coffee. “I knew she loved the horse, Carl. Even I knew that. But seeing her on him, the way they rode, before the fall. She was incredible.”

“She loves him.” I smiled. “And he loves her.”

“So much I don’t know,” he said. “So much I need to know. Need to learn.”

“You won’t go far wrong by starting with Samson. He’s her greatest joy. Her dreams revolve around riding, revolve around him.”

“Harrison Gables was a chance call, because of Verity. I figured Katie would enjoy the same trip.”

“You got that right.”

“We’ll be here a while,” he said. “Before we get the prognosis. You could go, I’ll stay.”

“I’ll go as soon as I can, but not until I know the situation with Samson. She’d never forgive me for turning up without answers.”

“Who’d have ever thought it, Carl. What a twist of fate, you ending up loving my daughter, building bridges for a sad old man who’d give anything to get to know her. And finally us, ending up here, waiting for a horse’s salvation.”

“Life is strange,” I said.

He turned to face me, eyes warm. “Another favour for a sad old man, Carl, if you’d be so kind.”

“You’re not so sad, nor so old, David. But fire away.”

He smiled, a wistful smile. “Tell me about her. Tell me about my Katie. Tell me about her life, Carl, the big things, the little things. Tell me about the things that make her smile, the things about her that make you smile. Tell me what she dreams of.”

I took a breath, and settled into my seat, taking a moment to listen to the hustle and bustle of efficiency all around us.

And then I told David about his daughter.