Eight
Danielle couldn’t process any of this.
She had expected him to be angry. Had expected him to get mad because she’d lied to him.
She hadn’t expected a marriage proposal.
At least, she was pretty sure that was what had just happened. “You want to...marry me? For real marry me?”
“Yes,” he said, his tone hard, decisive. “You don’t feel good about fooling my family—neither do I. You need money and security and, hell, I have both. We have chemistry. I want... I don’t want to send you back into the world alone. You don’t even know where you’re going.”
He wasn’t wrong. And dammit his offer was tempting. They were both naked, and he was so beautiful, and she wanted to kiss him again. Touch him again. But more than that, she wanted him to hold her in his arms again.
She wanted to be close to him. Bonded to him.
She wanted—so desperately—to not be alone.
But there had to be a catch.
There was always a catch. He could say whatever he wanted about how all of this wasn’t a transaction, how he had taken her riding just to take her riding. But then they’d had sex. And he’d had a condom in his wallet.
So he’d been prepared.
That made her stomach sour.
“Did you plan this?” she asked. “The horse-riding seduction?”
“No, I didn’t plan it. I carry a condom because I like to be prepared to have sex. You never know. You can get mad at me for that if you want, but then, we did need one, so it seems a little hypocritical.”
“Are you tricking me?” she asked, feeling desperate and panicky. “Is this a trick? Because I don’t understand how it benefits you to marry me. To keep Riley and me here. You don’t even like Riley, Joshua. You can’t stand to be in the same room with him.”
“I broke Shannon,” he said, his voice hard. “I ruined her. I did that. But I won’t break you. I want to fix this.”
“You can’t slap duct tape and a wedding band on me and call it done,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m not a leaky faucet.”
“I didn’t say you were. But you need something I have and I... Danielle, I need you.” His voice was rough, intense. “I’m not offering you love, but I can be faithful. I was ready to be a husband years ago, that part doesn’t faze me. I can take care of you. I can keep you safe. And if I send you out into the world with nothing more than money and something happens to you or Riley, I won’t forgive myself. So stay with me. Marry me.”
It was crazy. He was crazy.
And she was crazy for sitting there fully considering everything he was offering.
But she was imagining a life here. For her, for Riley. On Joshua’s ranch, in his beautiful house.
And she knew—she absolutely knew—that what she had felt physically with him, what had just happened, was a huge reason why they were having this conversation at all.
More than the pleasure, the closeness drew her in. Actually, that was the most dangerous part of his offer. The idea that she could go through life with somebody by her side. To raise Riley with this strong man backing her up.
Something clenched tight in her chest, working its way down to her stomach. Riley. He could have a father figure. She didn’t know exactly what function Joshua would play in his life. Joshua had trouble with the baby right now. But she knew Joshua was a good man, and that he would never freeze Riley out intentionally. Not when he was offering them a life together.
“What about Riley?” she asked, her throat dry. She swallowed hard. She had to know what he was thinking.
“What about him?”
“This offer extends to him too. And I mean...not just protection and support. But would you... Would you teach him things? Would your father be a grandfather to him? Would your brothers be uncles and your sister be an aunt? I understand that having a child around might be hard for you, after you lost your chance at being a father. And I understand you want to fix me, my situation. And it’s tempting, Joshua, it’s very tempting. But I need to know if that support, if all of that, extends to Riley.”
Joshua’s face looked as though it had been cast in stone. “I’m not sure if I would be a good father, Danielle. I was going to be a father, and so I was going to figure it out—how to do that, how to be that. I suppose I can apply that same intent here. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be the best, but I’ll try. And you’re right. I have my family to back me up. And he has you.”
That was it.
That was the reason she couldn’t say no. Because if she walked away from Joshua now, Riley would have her. Only her. She loved him, but she was just one person. If she stayed here with Joshua, Riley would have grandparents. Aunts and uncles. Family. People who knew how to be a family. She was doing the very best she could, but her idea of family was somewhere between cold neglectful nightmare and a TV sitcom.
The Grayson family knew—Joshua knew—what it meant to be a family. If she said yes, she could give that to Riley.
She swallowed again, trying to alleviate the scratchy feeling in her throat.
“I guess... I guess I can’t really say no to that.” She straightened, still naked, and not even a little bit embarrassed. There were bigger things going on here than the fact that he could see her breasts. “Okay, Joshua. I’ll marry you.”