Exposed: Move Over, Olivia Miller . . . Hello, Addison Price.
Word around town is our favorite CEO is out and about and he’s not with his model girlfriend . . . or should we now say ex-girlfriend.
Sources close to Lancaster say he has officially reconciled with the heir to the Price Empire. It appears Spencer Lancaster has finally tossed the trash to the curb.
Fresh off the press, plus exclusive photos from their recent rendezvous.
We can’t wait to report.
Through trembling limbs and salty tears, I examine the picture that has popped up on my iPhone. Like a glutton for punishment, weeks ago I had set it to notify me when a new post appeared. Now I wish I hadn’t.
Denial would have been easier. But there is no denying this picture on my phone. He’s back with her. We’re done.
Sadness seeps into my veins as my chest tightens to the point of pain. It feels like every last bit of air has been extracted from my lungs. Burning, ripping me apart. It soon morphs into something different. A disease, a venom, that spills into every molecule of my body, poisoning me. Strangling me. Making it hard to breathe.
I lost him.
She’s beautiful. Perfect. Smart. Rich. A goddamn Mother Teresa. And what am I? I’m nothing. A failure. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Never enough.
I need something . . .
It hovers in me. Asking me to find peace, so I do. I’ll search it out. I don’t think as I leave my apartment. Not questioning what I’m doing. I just dial.
Me: Where are you?
I can still take it back. Turn around. But I don’t want to. I need to escape and I know just where I can grab the solace I’m looking for.
It comes in the form of one word.
One text.
Sway.
By the time I arrive at Sway, the ache is too much to cope with. The need to escape creeps in my blood like a silent killer. Tormenting me. Beckoning me to find solace. I won’t be able to escape it. It’s unbearable. I’m being ripped in two with every breath I take. How could he do this to me?
How could I be this stupid? Think I’m enough for him. Think he’d want me. Anguish fills my veins. It’s a black shadow. But I know this feeling . . .
It’s hung over me before, and there is only one answer. I need to escape. I need to numb the voices. There is only one way to find peace . . .
Only one cure.
From across the room, I see my savior. Murph. When I approach him, his eyes are hollow, sunken in, and I know he has what I need. Déjà vu sweeps over me. It’s so tragically beautiful being back here. I thought I had beaten it. Then I thought I could control it. But the need won out. The need to forgot. The need for the first rush to find me.
I lean into Murph. “Do you have any?” I whisper.
With one single nod, he pulls my hand. There is no pretense. He knows what I want, and he’ll bring it to me. With quick steps, we walk into a private bathroom. When the door shuts behind us, he opens the vial. I can feel the nervous energy running rapidly within me. The weight of everything that has happened begins to crush me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have thought I loved him? How could I have thought I had a chance at happiness? I’ve fought for so long to hold the hunger off. I have hated myself for being weak and succumbing, but why? It’s so easy.
I lean forward over the plate he’s laid the white powder on. It gleams at me with the brightness of the first snowfall on a bitterly cold day. Grabbing the bill from him, I lean down, close one nostril with my left hand and bring the bill to the opposite one. With a deep inhale, I feel my body kick back. My nose goes numb. My face goes numb. The familiar drip caresses my throat. Swiping my finger over the residue on the plate, I rub my fingers to collect it, then rub it over my gums.
In the mirror, I see my eyes are large and black and my mouth looks dry and cracked. It doesn’t matter what I look like though. Nothing matters. This is easy. This is my calm. Everything will soon be okay.
I watch as he pulls out the plate and lays another line because it isn’t enough. It’s never enough until the voices go away. Until my insecurities are silenced.
I lean forward again. The fire and ice flow through my body. My heart beats warm blood through my veins. The cadence is drumming faster and faster as the high sets in. Then the beautiful numbness pounds through my brain. It enslaves me, controls every inch of me. But I need more. I can still feel the pain. The moment of relief is short-lived. I can feel it as it slithers away. As the image of Spencer and Addison skates through my mind.
I grab the vile from his hand and pour a heap directly on to my skin. I don’t have the time to wait. I need it now. Only this will chase away the final remnants of my demons. The sounds in my brain are screaming at me that I have only been fooling myself. He was never mine. One more hit and it will be gone.
I feel the burn. I feel it as it seeps into every part of my being. It morphs into rays of hope. I bask in the light. Anything seems possible. Murph pours another line. This is it. With this one, it will all be gone.
Inhale. The burn is stronger this time, causing sweat to break out across my brow. My vision becomes fuzzy. My heart smacks heavily against my chest. Pain grows. Pressure builds. My body begins to sway as the room spins on its axis. Then darkness takes over the light. Swirling blackness engulfs me. It brings the final oblivion. Stealing all that is left of me . . .
Consuming me entirely.