“God fucking shit,” I scream in my office. Lucy is standing at the foot of my desk as pale as a ghost. It’s not her fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. But here I am losing my shit once again.
I dial Addison’s number.
“You can leave Lucy.” She skitters out like a scared mouse. I want to call out to her and apologize but the phone is already ringing. It rings and rings. On the third ring, I hear her voice.
“Spencer,” she drawls into the phone. “To what do I owe this honor?”
“Cut the shit, Addison. I know you talked to him.”
“Talked to who? You’re going to have to be a little clearer?” She’s toying with me and I don’t like it. Not one bit.
“You know who hell I’m talking about. Don’t play games with me or you’ll regret it.”
“Tisk. Tisk. I don’t think Daddy would like to hear you’re talking to me this way. Especially since we have so many deals on the line.”
“What do you want, Addison. Name your price?” I hiss. There is no way I’m losing another property to Grant.
“Dinner.”
“No.”
“Drinks.” She won’t let this go. I know she won’t. “We still have to sign the St. Barth’s papers.”
My blood boils. I want to bash the phone on my desk, but instead I take a deep inhale of oxygen, hoping that will be enough to calm me down.
“When?” I finally breathe out.
“I’m traveling. I’ll be back in a few weeks.”
“Fine.” I hang up. Not even waiting for her to respond. She’ll call me when she’s back in town. If there is one thing Addison is, it’s persistent.
Olivia is at the hotel when I get home from work. She’s waiting in the lobby smiling broadly at me. I don’t smile back. Just take her hand and lead her to the elevator.
“Hey, will you slow down?” I pull her faster down the hall until we are standing in front of my door and I’m opening it. “God. What the hell is wrong with you?” She’s annoyed and rightfully so. I just manhandled her in the lobby, elevator and now in the hall. But I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want peace and quiet in my apartment.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I growl. I don’t. Today was shit. Grant is all over me. And I have no idea why. What his end game is. And it’s pissing me the fuck off. I like to be two steps ahead at all times. But with this, I feel like he’s feeding me information when he goddamn feels like it and it’s always two steps too late.
“Spencer, if something is bothering you—”
“God fucking dammit Olivia, I said I don’t want to talk about it and I meant it,” I snap. And even as the words leave my mouth they feel like bile, but it doesn’t stop them from spewing out. She lifts her hands to touch me and I push her away.
“I can’t do this now.” She opens her mouth to object but I don’t stay to listen. Just turn on my heel and slam the door behind me to go to the bar and grab a drink. I’m not used to letting people in. With most of my life being public knowledge, I’m used to keeping my feelings close to me. There are only a few people that have ever breached the wall I have erected around myself, Olivia is one of them. But sometimes, I fall back into old habits and just want to shut the door. Not have to answer anyone. It’s been a long time I since I have let anyone one in, wholeheartedly. Grant was the only one.
Why is he doing this to me?
An hour later, I find myself back in the suite. I’m drunk now. Piss ass drunk. When I argued with her, I left her. I went downstairs and drowned myself in scotch. Now I’m back, and I’m barely in the door before I see Olivia. I don’t speak, just saunter up behind her as she is bending over the counter grabbing a glass. I’m not sure what goes through me. This feeling I don’t get. It’s primitive. I need to be inside her. Mark her. As mine.
We fought.
I was nasty. Brutal really. But I don’t give a shit. I need her. I need contact; I need to connect to her right now.
This is what I know.
Sex is what I know.
I used to know more. Once upon a time, I was in love and then it was killed. I care for Olivia. But love . . . no. I don’t love her.
I need her.
I need her like I need air to breathe.
She’s all encompassing and I need to consume her.
She must feel my presence because her body stiffens. But I don’t allow that to halt my intentions. Instead, I reach my hands out, I trail them down her spine, over her hip, lifting her skirt.
“Fuck. Do you ever wear anything under your clothes?” Bare again. Always fucking ready for me.
“No,” she moans.
My hand is cupping her, and my finger presses deep inside. She tightens around me like a vise. A vise that is begging to get fucked. I pull my hand away. She’s primed for the taking. I pull my dick out. Gripping. Stroking.
I begin to press into her. It feels too damn good.
“Fuck,” I mutter. “No condom.”
“Clean, pill,” she groans.
Hell, yeah.
Those two words are all I need. I slam in.
Giving her all my anger.
All my hatred.
Misplaced, but I give it to her anyway, and she takes. She takes it all. All I have to give.
Purring. Moaning.
Grinding up against me. Fucking me back.
It’s hot.
It’s primal.
I pound into her at a pace that will bruise. That must tear her apart, but I don’t give a shit. I need this. She needs this, and I’m going to give it to us.
Thrust.
Thrust.
“Fuck,” I shout. My body is seizing.
My world is going blank, as I empty myself in her.
My eyes begin to blur. The world spins. I pull out and barely register Olivia taking my hand, and she’s leading me to the bed.
All goes black.
Shit, I was an asshole yesterday. I didn’t mean to snap at her but between the shit with Grant and the bigger fucking shit with Addison, I’m a mess. Doing business with her is starting to become a liability not only to my business but to my health. Then I go and meet Olivia. She just came home from a job. Probably stressed and what do I do? I rip the fuck into her.
The fact that she forgave me, the fact that she’s in my bed at all right now is a modern miracle. I attacked her like I was an animal.
It was primal and fuck if it wasn’t hot as fuck.
The way her hair fanned the countertop as I fucked her from behind.
I don’t deserve this girl.
I need to get my shit together. Get Grant on the phone, settle this. But instead it’s eating me up inside, and I’m a dick.
I’m a dick in real life. But not to her. Never to Olivia.
I can see the distance start. She’s been pulling back.
Maybe that set me off.
Maybe I am just an asshole.
I don’t know. Guess it doesn’t matter, damage is done now it’s just what I’ll do to fix it.
Me: Good morning beautiful.
I send the text. Imagining her lying in my bed naked. Great. How am I supposed to work right now imagining her naked in my bed?
Olivia: Morning.
She responds. I can’t tell if she’s still mad.
Me: Will I see you later?
Wow, I’m a pussy.
Olivia: I have work.
Me: Fine. Call me when you’re free.
I slam the phone back on the desk. I need to get my shit together.