Noah - 9

Never mix business with pleasure.

It's the one rule that I've always abided by for as long as I can remember. So how did I exactly end up fucking up that rule so badly after sticking by it for so many years? This principle was established during my earlier years because I couldn't avoid mixing business with pleasure in the first place. I had to teach myself to have some self-restraint, but even that didn't stop me from actively pursuing Elizabeth who was only an intern working at my company at the time. Once she accidentally became pregnant, I knew I had to buckle down and stop fooling around.

It was mixing business with pleasure which led me to my first albeit wonderful mistake - Taylor.

Yet here I am now, years later, dealing with the weight of my mistake in breaking that same rule twice. I should never have kissed Cassie even if her eager expression was asking for it. I should have never realized or acknowledged my desire for her once I touched her soft breast. The wine may have played a small role in my lapse of judgment, but I know better than to use that as an excuse for my mistake. I could have completely prevented that kiss from happening. I was the one who kissed her.

And the worst part about this whole situation with Cassie is that my passion and desire aren't satisfied nor satiated with just one kiss. Regardless of my morals, my heart appears to want even more after kissing her once. It doesn't help that the sensation of her sweet and soft lips remain a vivid feeling and taste in my mind. The last person that's ever made me feel this way was Elizabeth, and I never regretted a single moment or experience that I shared with her.

Unfortunately, the circumstances are different this time around. I can't bring myself to confidently admit or say that I don't regret what I did to Cassie. Maybe it's because a part of me feels guilty for sharing this special feeling and emotion with another woman that isn't Elizabeth. Or maybe it's because Cassie is so much younger than I am and I feel like I took advantage of her in that specific moment.

Hell, I don't know. All I can say for certain is that I'm lacking serious confidence in my questionable decision. I can feel a strong sense of hesitation and anxiety that I never felt before even though I went through the same exact situation with Elizabeth in the past. The inner conflict and struggle between doing what feels right versus doing what feels natural is stronger than ever.

An unexpected hand is shoved and waved back and forth in front of my face. "Hello? Are you even listening to me, Noah?" Jenna irritably asks with a scowl. There's a visibly annoyed expression on her face which she doesn't try to hide from me at all.

"You were talking about how you went home that night after we fought and how you mulled over our argument where you came to the eventual realization that I was right. Taylor isn't your daughter, and you shouldn't have aggressively pushed the matter of boarding school onto me like that," I confidently respond as my gaze slowly shifts toward her and her piercing blue eyes. "Did I happen to miss anything else?"

Jenna gives me a dumbfounded look after realizing that I was actually paying attention to her the whole time she was talking. Her mouth is slightly opened up like she wants to say something, but she changes her mind last second and bites her tongue instead. I can't resist scoffing at the silence that befalls her as she shakes her head in response to my question. Jenna doesn't seem to understand that it's practically impossible to tune her out when she's speaking so enthusiastically on the topic with her overt hand gestures and loud tone of voice. I couldn't ignore her even if I wanted to.

"Anyway," the blonde clears her throat and reaches over the table to grab my hand. There's a huge smile spread across her lips which lights up her entire face. "Because I was in the wrong, I wanted to make the whole fight up to you by planning a little getaway just for the two of us. It'll be the perfect opportunity for us to spend some quiet time together and to have some fun at the same time."

I let out a low and uninterested sigh while Jenna continues to ramble on about her detailed vacation plans for the two of us. Even though I was the one who agreed to go out and have lunch with her today so that we could formally settle our differences, I had no intentions of trying to work out our broken relationship. The truth was always there in my heart once I heard Jenna's adamant suggestion to send Taylor off to boarding school. It's clear as day to me that she doesn't actually want to build a bond with my daughter after listening to her speak so highly about the benefits of sending Taylor away.

To put it simply: if a woman can't accept the importance of my daughter's presence in my life, then I can't accept hers in mine.

The blonde is still talking about the details behind our perfect vacation outline when I suddenly cut her off in the middle of speaking to say, "To tell you the truth, Jenna, I don’t think this is going to work out."

"Of course it can work out, Noah! Look, I know you're going to be super worried about Taylor, but it'll only be for a few days-"

"No, I mean us. We aren't going to work out," I calmly explain.

Jenna's big smile instantly fades from her lips as she slowly begins to comprehend the gravity behind my statement. An utterly devastated and confused look spreads across her face which is anxiously waiting for me to tell her that what I said about breaking up was a joke. But I leave my hollow stare fixated on her, the lack of emotion and words on my part signaling my serious stance to her. When she finally realizes that I don't intend on taking back my words about breaking off the relationship, her mood quickly shifts from heartbroken to angry.

"All I can honestly say to you right now is that you're making a big mistake by doing this, Noah," Jenna warns with a shake of her head. She swiftly gets up from her seat and glares at me. "Good luck finding another woman who can tolerate and handle a man with a troublesome 6-year old daughter. I mean, there's a reason why you've been single for so long before I came along, right?"

Ouch. That's a pretty low blow, even for her.

My heart aches a bit as I watch the beautiful model walk away in a huff. As much as I know that Jenna's words are spoken out of anger, I can't lie and say that her spiteful statement doesn't resonate with me. It's completely true that many women are turned off by the prospect of spending time with my daughter, especially when Taylor isn't exactly their child. The mere thought of having to raise Taylor is enough to scare these women away from me, an occurrence that I've seen firsthand time and time again.

But I won't let Jenna's hateful comments get to me too much. After all, I can't really blame her when I had no intentions to marry her in the first place. I don't feel ready for another long commitment like marriage when I'm already committed to the role of being Taylor's dad. All I can do in my current position is make the best of it, even if it means engaging in frivolous relationships with other women to satisfy my desires and needs.

***

I unlock the front door and step into the house where Taylor immediately greets me with a running tackle per usual. Her face is full of joy and energy as she jumps straight into my arms and exclaims with a huge smile: "Daddy!"

A warm and gentle feeling fills my chest as I hold the young girl in my embrace. Despite tirelessly working my ass off day and night to make sure the company remains a growing success, all I need is a glimpse of Taylor's bright smile to remember why I'm working so damn hard every day. I place my lips against her tiny forehead and give her a kiss like I always do when I come home -- except I'm reminded of something else once my lips touch her head. The matter with my kiss with Cassie still hasn't been resolved yet.

With Taylor in my arms, I set out to look for her when the young woman comes to the entryway herself. Her dark brown eyes briefly make contact with me before they timidly look away. Judging from the way she's restlessly moving her hands around and purposefully avoiding eye contact with me, I can tell that she's definitely still troubled over the kiss we had last night.

"Cassie, we need to talk. Can you stop by my study before you leave if you have time?" I ask.

The nanny makes a poorly-concealed expression of pain and panic as she slowly brings her eyes up toward me. "Yeah, I can do that," Cassie replies in a shaky voice and nods her head. I can hardly look into her gaze for longer than a second before her brown eyes shift away from me again.

My head naturally shakes in wonder from Cassie's active avoidance of me. She really knows how to make a situation even more uncomfortable than it already is. Though, I suppose it's only understandable why she's acting this way toward me. I am her boss, and she is my employee. The professional relationship between us was a boundary that we were never supposed to cross, and now she's the one in an awkward position because of the kiss that I initiated.

Nonetheless, I carry Taylor up to her room and tuck her into bed after Cassie agrees to meet with me. The little girl struggles and fights to keep her eyes open so that she can spend a bit more time with me, but she quickly loses that match against her exhaustion as soon as she gets settled underneath the covers. I quietly close her bedroom door and head upstairs toward the study where I assume the nanny is already waiting for me with immense anticipation. However, the more I think about addressing the serious issue that's bothering us, the more I realize that I'm not quite sure what to say.

It's unrealistic to apologize to Cassie and then tell her to pretend that the kiss never happened between us. On the other hand, it's also unrealistic to terminate her from the position when it was my mistake which led us to this point in the first place. Looking at all the choices that I have in resolving the matter, the only plausible solution is to go with the first option and see where that outcome leads us. If Cassie can't function properly under the circumstances, then I have no choice but to let her go.

A weak sigh parts from my lips as my legs carry me up the steps and toward the study. The thought of losing Cassie when she's done such a good job of taking care of Taylor due to something as dumb as my own foolish impulses is really taking a toll on me. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for ruining the perfect arrangement, and I don't know if Taylor will forgive me either. That kid's fondness and affection for Cassie is unlike anything I've ever seen before.

When I finally reach the top of the steps, I grab onto the doorknob that leads into the study with another troubled sigh. This is it. The moment I've been dreading since I spontaneously decided to kiss her last night. But as soon as I open the door to the room, my heart jumps in shock from the unexpected sight waiting for me on the other side. Much to my surprise, Cassie is already standing right in front of the doorway with that same distressed look on her face from earlier.

"Mr. Bishop, I am so sorry. But it was an accident. An accident that was completely my fault," Cassie suddenly blurts out loud.

"What are you talking about?" I slowly ask in an extremely confused tone of voice.

Something doesn't seem right about this.

Is she really trying to tell me that it was her fault that I ended up kissing her?

Yet Cassie leaves her odd statement hanging as she struggles to come up with an explanation. There's a huge pause from her lips each time she opens her mouth to speak like she's strongly dreading the words that are sitting at the tip of her tongue. Watching the tense and apprehensive young woman quietly fret to herself makes me feel incredibly nervous in turn as well. I can't help but wonder what's going through her mind.

"Let's just calm down, okay?" I say as I place my hands on her shoulders and gently guide her over to the couch where we both sit down together. The troubled woman actually begins to relax herself a bit after she takes a few deep breaths with me by her side consoling her. "So, what did you exactly mean when you said 'it's your fault'?" I ask again.

This time, Cassie doesn't run away from the question.

"Taylor convinced me to buy the chalk for her, but I swear I had no idea what she planned to do with it. I thought she just wanted to add more art tools to her collection, or maybe create a picture with it on some other sort of canvas. I didn't think she was going to use it all over the pavement and on the walls outside."

My eyes stare at Cassie with a hollow expression. I have no clue how to properly process the disconnect between what I expected and what I actually got. But I naturally pause and then let out a hearty chuckle from the lengthy explanation she gives me. This whole time, I've been overly concerned about how uncomfortable I might have made her feel from the forced kiss when in reality, she's been worrying about me getting upset over Taylor's chalk art outside. It's almost impossible for me not to laugh or smile at the strange turn of events.

However, Cassie looks like a deer in headlights as I continue to quietly chuckle to myself in amusement. "Was that not what you wanted to talk about?" she hesitantly asks.

"No, it wasn't," I admit with a smile.

The color practically drains from her face. "Oh."

A permanent grin remains attached to my lips while I silently ponder the situation. For a woman that I hired on a whim with zero experience in working as a nanny, Cassie is taking her job pretty seriously. I can tell that she really cares about Taylor and that she respects the household she's working in. When it comes down to it, Cassie's work ethic is definitely admirable and impressive. Though, there's still an unsettling feeling lingering inside my heart in spite of her commendable spirit and hard work. She hasn't said a single thing about the kiss.

"You are honestly such a strange young woman, Cassie. One of the strangest I've ever met, in fact. Here I was thinking that you would be stressed out over what happened last night, yet here you are bothered by a little bit of chalk. I'll be honest, I'm kind of bitter," I confess with a weak laugh.

Maybe I'm just losing touch with the times. Maybe kissing is just a tame and natural phenomena for the younger generation these days, a casual occurrence that no one really bats an eye at. But the baffled look on the nanny's face seems to tell me otherwise.

"What does that mean?" Cassie responds in a low voice. She shakes her head, "I don't understand."

For some reason, I can feel myself getting annoyed by her. "It means that I'm not happy to hear that the kiss meant nothing to you. Though I guess this outcome is for the better. I actually wanted to tell you to forget about it so that we could keep this arrangement between us-"

"But it didn't mean nothing to me," Cassie swiftly interrupts. A notable look of frustration and uncertainty pours from her dark brown eyes. "I actually can't get that moment out of my head."

There it is. She's making that face again. That same exact expression which compelled me to kiss her in the first place. Those heavy-lidded eyes and those slightly-parted lips are clear signs of a woman filled with lust and longing. It's a look that I'm well-acquainted with, a sultry expression that usually leads to more than just the subtle exchanging of glances.

A long and deep sigh breaks away from my lips as I do my best to restrain my overwhelming desires. The voice in my head tells me that I shouldn't hastily act on my impulses again, while the strong and powerful urges in my body tell me to go for it. I don't know what to do when every inch and fiber of my being is pushing me toward her. Just thinking about how sweet her lips will taste once I have them against my mouth is pure torture.

Cassie shouldn't be a woman that I yearn to physically have. She should be completely off-limits and taken out of the sexual equation. Yet I can't seem to control myself even after knowing that she'll be a regret tomorrow morning. My eyes keep on making their way back to her lovely brown eyes and her inviting lips, her slowly-heaving chest and her soft breaths.

She should never have told me that the kiss was ever on her mind.

I eagerly place my hands around Cassie's face and press my lips firmly against her mouth. Satisfying tingles spread all throughout my body as I kiss her soft lips and run my hand along the side of her waist. Her gentle moans and sighs reach my ears and encourage me to go even further with her. With the sound of her pleasured reactions guiding me, I take the plunge and forcibly slip my tongue into her mouth. The unexpected introduction clearly takes her by surprise as her tongue struggles to keep up with mine.

But my head is completely empty and my body is simply acting on natural instinct. I take what I want regardless of Cassie's readiness. Her heavy breathing is the only thing I need to hear to know whether or not I should continue kissing her and teasing her. The blood rushes to my lower body as my hands move their way up toward her breasts where I grab them both and give them a firm squeeze. My groping and squeezing elicit deep sighs from her, sweet sounds that let me know her body is warming and opening up to my touch.

With every passionate kiss of her lips and every eager touch of her breasts, my desires for Cassie's body grow stronger and stronger. My hard and stiff member is throbbing to plunge between her warm thighs which I know will feel amazingly tight and wet. An anxious tingle shoots across my chest when I imagine the pleasant sensation of her pink folds wrapped around my rock-solid shaft. There's absolutely nothing more I want in this moment than to make her body physically mine.

My hands couldn't move any quicker to strip Cassie down of the clothing which conceal her beautiful and feminine curves. The sight of her plump breasts and dark yet hardened nipples sends a blood-rushing jolt to my lower body as I place my lips around her areola and suck on her breast. I can feel her body quake and tremble from the wet sensation of my tongue lashing out against her pert nipple. She can't contain the soft moans and whimpers that follow each precise lick of my tongue. Her overly-sensitive body is a delightful treat for me to tease and play with.

Yet even I have my own limits in holding back the craving to satisfy my lust. I push Cassie down onto her back and spread her legs apart so that I can see how badly she wants me for myself. A wet glisten is peeking out from between her pink flesh, the folds surrounding her tight hole looking swollen. It's a beautiful and intoxicating sight -- the sight of a woman in natural lust. Once I see her eager and prepared body waiting for me to enter her, I swiftly take off the rest of my clothes and get naked along with her.

I slowly get on top of Cassie and gaze into her brown eyes for the first time since I decided to make the foolish decision of kissing her again. Even though I was well-prepared to stick my manhood into her and leave my mark on her, I begin to have some doubts after seeing the hesitant look in her eyes. There are signs of fear and panic seated within her timid gaze, an unusual reaction that I've never had to deal with before in my previous sexual pursuits. It's usually the women who take the initiative in sexually engaging with me, so seeing Cassie's reluctance is a huge red flag for me.

"Do you not want to do this?" I softly ask. "We can stop if you're not comfortable."

The young woman adamantly shakes her head. "No, that's not it," she responds in a shaky voice.

"That's not a very convincing answer," I answer with a laugh. Every aspect of her body language is telling me that she isn't completely confident about going through the act with me. Her mouth is saying one thing, yet her actions are telling me something else. I'm not sure what to make of it.

But Cassie bites her lower lip and quietly sighs at my skepticism. Her brown stare cautiously moves upward to meet my eyes where she gives me her complete attention and where she doesn't fearfully look away from me.

"It's just…my first time," she shyly confesses in a small tone of voice. "I've never done this before."

All of the excitement and energy in my body disappears in an instant once I hear her surprising confession. I shake my head back and forth in denial of the truth that she has given me. She has to be messing around with me. There's no way that a young woman her age has never had sex with a man.

It's just not possible.

"You're kidding, right?" I ask in pure disbelief. However, Cassie simply shakes her head with a serious expression on her face. She isn't kidding around at all. She's really a virgin, and the reason why she seems so tense and nervous is because I'll be the first man to ever fill her up with my physical affection.

Well, shit. This is highly unexpected. I don't know if I have the confidence in me to take responsibility for her first time. Especially since it definitely feels like I'm taking advantage of her now considering her lack of sexual experience.

I hang my head and sigh. "Maybe this is not the best idea then-"

"No! No, I definitely want this. Please," Cassie pleads. A lustful expression occupies the entirety of her face as she strokes my arm. "It would be a lot crueler if you didn't finish the job after making me feel this way. Don't you think?"

Her provocative question prompts me to naturally look down at the glistening wet hole between her legs. I can tell from the slight swelling and wetness outside her untouched entrance that her tight body is aching for my hard shaft despite never having one penetrate her. And as much as I don't want to deal with the inexperience of a virgin's awkward first time, she has a point about my cruelty in denying her the sexual gratification that I've been teasing her with. I was the one who drove her to this wild state of excitement and passion. It was me who made the first move, so I should own up to it.

I've already broken the golden rule of not mixing business with pleasure. I have nothing left to lose by satisfying my dirty desires with her young and chaste body. By the time I'm completely through with Cassie, she's going to regret wanting this moment.

"I'm not going to be gentle," I coldly warn her. "I hope that you're ready for that."

There's a brief flash of fear in Cassie's eyes as I throw her legs over my arms and position myself so that I can enter her. I slip the tip of my manhood straight into her tight and warm hole and hear her slightly whimper from the pain, but she shows no signs of backing down even in the face of my warning and the feeling of my throbbing cock. The pleasure from her tight flesh wrapped around my member persuades me to keep pushing every inch of myself into her until I'm completely inside her. I revel in the blissful sensation of the tight fit Cassie's small hole provides me with.

It feels too good to be inside her to stop now. So I only do what feels natural which is to succumb to my carnal desires and allow them to take free reign of my actions. The wet lubricant produced by her own aroused body guides my every rapid thrust and plunge as I release my pent-up frustrations unto her. Cassie obediently takes the entire length of my manhood between her thighs without any complaint, the weak and vulnerable expression on her face a lovely image that burns clearly in my mind.

There's nothing I want more than to fill Cassie up with my overwhelming passion until she breaks from it. I want to hear her lustful voice beg for more and feel her entire body fold to the tension that's trapped within her lower body. I won't stop until her body is rippling with pleasure unlike anything she's ever felt before. I'll take my time with her if I have to. She won't be able to have sex with another person without thinking about me once I'm done with her.

Deciding to let me take her first time was Cassie's biggest mistake.

But I guess kissing her when I was well-aware of the consequences was mine.