Naked, sated, and content, Eden and I lay in bed, the blankets tossed to the side, and we talked. Eden was on her stomach, her arms crossed beneath her head, facing me while I lay on my side and drew lazy circles along her back.

“If you never found out that Gabi lied, or if she hadn’t made it all up…would you still be with her?”

My fingers stilled. “I don’t want to talk about her right now.”

“Just appease me, please.”

I knew her question wasn’t out of some morbid fantasy to talk about the woman I’d just left. It was out of fear, and possibly a little insecurity. I wanted to ease her mind, but I didn’t care to discuss another woman after being intimate with her. “Eden…we’re naked. In bed. We literally just had sex. This isn’t the right time to talk about her. Or anyone for that matter. I want to enjoy this moment with you.”

She was quiet and I noticed her attention focused across the room, not on me. I knew she wouldn’t let it go. Even if we didn’t talk about it, she’d obsess over it internally. And I couldn’t risk her withdrawing from me. Not after I finally had a taste of her.

Dropping my head to the pillow, I gave in. “A few years ago, I tried to tell her how unhappy I was. I wanted her to know that her depression affected me, as well. If she refused to try to make things better, I didn’t know how much longer I would’ve been able to stay. But I wasn’t able to get it all out. She thought I was telling her I was leaving and lost it. She said she wouldn’t have anywhere to go if I left. She didn’t have anyone and there’d be no point in living. From that moment forward, I thought I’d never be able to leave. I resigned myself to my circumstances and my fate.”

“And you’re not concerned about that now?”

I hesitated, trying to think of the right words to use. “This is going to sound cold, but it’s not how I mean it. She’s not my problem anymore. Do I want her to hurt herself? Absolutely not. But I can’t consciously stay with her after knowing what she did, just to save her. For years, I thought she was broken because of what he did to her. During his trial, she tried to commit suicide. Now I realize it was nothing but her own guilt over what she did to him. I stayed through countless miserable years because I wanted to make her feel safe. I see now that I can’t and never could. She’s fucked up, and I can’t fix that. I got complacent and accepted a role. Now I know it was a role that never existed, at least not the way I believed it to. I no longer feel responsible for fulfilling that need for her.”

She turned onto her side to face me and placed her hand on my chest. “But that didn’t answer my question. Would you still be with her now?”

“I did answer you. But it’s not as simple as yes or no. I was miserable with her, Eden. And I’m not just saying that for your sympathy or to justify leaving her and ending up in your bed. It was like living under a raincloud…every single day. Can you imagine living like that? Never seeing the sun? Never feeling the warmth? Spending every second of every day cold and lonely? It drains you, physically kills you until you’re nothing more than a shell of the person you used to be, walking around aimlessly. I was held prisoner by obligation, and now I feel free.”

“But you kept telling me you used to be happy.”

“That’s because I thought I was. I thought we were because I didn’t know anything different. Until you came along and showed me what happiness really feels like. Before that, I had no clue what was missing—we’d been together since high school. I had no other relationship to compare it to. It’s more than simply feeling okay with something or someone. That’s complacency, and that’s something I never want to live with again. I can’t do it. I can’t live that way.”

Her hand moved from my chest to my cheek, and just that simple touch was enough to soothe my soul. “It’s okay. I get it. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She traced the lines on my face before pulling her attention back to my eyes. “I’d convinced myself we’d never be together. I refused to get my hopes up anytime you talked about her or the issues you two had, and honestly, wishing things were different for you made me feel like a really horrible person. Like I would somehow be glad if your relationship failed. So I tried really hard to support you being with her. What I didn’t lie about was that I believe you deserve everything good. I meant that, and I still do.”

“You’re good.” I grabbed her wrist and kissed her palm. “So I guess that means I deserve you. You meant that, so you need to start believing it. Stop questioning this. Stop waiting for it to fall apart…because it never will. If I’m only ever one thing…I’m devoted.”

“What if this high we’re on goes away, and you find you’re not as content as you think you are? What if I don’t make you as happy as you think I will? Then what? Because from what I know of you, you won’t leave. You’ll stick it out and be miserable…and I can’t do that, Dane. I can’t make you stay where you don’t want to be.”

My smile confused her, making her brow furrow, but I ignored it. “It’s not like Gabi didn’t know how I felt. It’s not like she was under this impression that everything was sunshine and rainbows. It wasn’t a secret, Eden. But she wouldn’t let me go. I don’t anticipate you being anything other than the woman in front of me right now, but in the event something happens or something changes…I know you won’t tie me down. You won’t keep me where I don’t want to be. That’s the difference.”

“You never know.” Her lips thinned as she tried to fight off a smirk. “I could be crazy. I could chain you up in my basement and feed you cat food until you weighed three hundred pounds, and then sell you on the black market.”

I rolled on top of her, pushing her onto her back. With my head in the crook of her neck, I blew hot air against her skin, causing her to squirm and giggle. Giving her a reprieve, I watched the light dance in her eyes. “Good luck finding a basement in Florida. And cat food? You couldn’t come up with anything else?”

She shrugged after catching her breath. “It was the first thing that came to mind. I never claimed to be quick-witted.”

After teasing and more tickling, I eventually settled lower on her body, my head resting against her stomach like a pillow. My fingers traced the lines of the tattoo on her side and I thought about the first time I saw it, when I first felt the need to run my fingers along the twisted tree trunk, touch the black-and-grey shading, and follow it up to the living branches at the top.

“What does this mean?” I asked without taking my eyes off the ink.

“My tattoo?”

I nodded and shifted my head so I could see her.

“It’s an old, ancient tree, Dane. Not much to explain about it.”

“But it’s not all old and ancient. There’s vibrant life still in it. So tell me, what does it mean?”

She blinked and tried to look away, but before I could call her attention back, her eyes found mine again. They were soft, almost sad as she explained, “People leave. They stay around until they get what they want and then they’re gone. And sometimes, they don’t even stick around at all. They just push you off on someone else, like you’re nothing but a burden they don’t care to deal with.”

I hadn’t ever heard Eden talk like that before. I didn’t like it. She was too strong of a person to sound so broken. I almost said something, but stopped when she continued talking.

“But I’ve learned something each time. The trunk is old, its roots deep and thick, scarred and weathered, dead looking, much like the relationships from my past. They took their toll on me—they left their scars and affected how my roots took hold, yet my tree continued to grow. But, just like life, all you have to do is look up to see the new beginning, the fresh blooms. Look back and all you see is the weathered, twisted past, but to find the beauty, you have to see it as a whole. My birth mother gave me away, and I struggled with that a lot when I was younger because I felt abandoned. But now, I understand things aren’t always black and white. It’s not one way or another. Sometimes, there are reasons for why things happen and why people leave. Their time serves a purpose, and whether they stay or go, it’s always for the better. It took me a while to see that, especially after my brother died. But I finally accepted that he was struggling here on Earth, and now he’s in a place where he doesn’t have to feel that way anymore.”

Her words shocked me to my core, left me utterly speechless. She was only twenty-five and had already learned how to find the positives from things that seem so negative.

“You think I look away out of insecurity. I’ve told you it’s because I’m shy. But maybe it’s neither. Maybe it’s nothing more than me protecting myself. If I let you see all of me—everything there is inside—and you leave, it’ll sting. I know I’ll get over it. I know it won’t end me, but that doesn’t mean it won’t cause irrevocable damage. I don’t want to take that chance because I refuse to give people that much power over me. I don’t care to give anyone the satisfaction of wounding me. If I don’t allow anyone in, then I shield myself from suffering. But if I give you that part of me, you could damage my heart beyond repair.”

“And you could do the same to me,” I pointed out. I understood her need for self-preservation because a part of me felt the same way. I couldn’t explain it. I’d never really been concerned about being hurt before. Maybe that was because I never worried about Gabi breaking my heart. Even after what she did, my heart wasn’t beyond repair. I was angry, but not destroyed. There was something about Eden that made it real to me—that I could experience the devastation of a failed relationship.

“Has anyone ever left you? Like just walked out of your life? Gotten what they wanted and left?” she asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

“No. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced that. But I do have people in my life who should’ve walked away. They are still in my life, but they don’t truly know me. They’ve never cared to delve deeper in my life beyond the surface. To them, I’m merely a distant relative instead of their child.”

She moved her hands to my face and began to stroke my scruff with her palms. Her eyes were full of emotion I couldn’t put my finger on. Sympathy maybe. Or possibly fear. It was hard to tell. “Do you ever want a family?”

“Of course I do. Why?”

She shrugged, but for once, never lost eye contact with me. “You were with Gabi for twelve years and you never got married. It took you eleven years to propose. And aside from the baby you lost…you’ve never had children. So I guess I was wondering if that was by choice or just the way it happened.”

I didn’t want to spend my weekend discussing Gabi, but her question was reasonable. I could see why she would ask. “Honestly, it’s not that I didn’t want to get married or have kids, but I guess I never really felt like it was the right time before. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, I knew I hadn’t met the right person to share those things with.”

She pulled on the sides of my face until our lips met. We were both as naked as the day we were born and feeling her body against mine made me hard again. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of Eden, but I certainly didn’t want her to think that’s all I was after. So I kissed her for a minute before letting go and falling to the side. I wrapped my arm around her waist and tugged her into me, tucking her back against my chest.

Feeling at peace with her in my arms, I spoke without thinking of the words before they were out. “We should get a place together. I’ll sell my condo, you can break your lease, and we’ll find our own place.”

Her body stiffened and I was pretty sure she’d quit breathing. “That’s a horrible idea, Dane.”

I couldn’t disagree with her…but I didn’t think the idea was horrible. “I just hate the thought of not having you next to me when I’m in bed. This is too comfortable to give up.”

“There’s this thing couples do called staying over at each other’s places. We don’t have to move in together to share a bed at night.”

“But then I can’t take care of you.”

She wrangled out of my hold and turned to face me. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m perfectly capable of providing for myself. I won’t allow myself to be dependent on anyone else ever again.” Her eyes softened when she placed her hand on my shoulder and shifted until our bodies were closer. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”

I wanted to be everything for her. It didn’t make any sense, but I did. Maybe it was because I was so used to being responsible for someone else that I didn’t know what to do if I wasn’t. I was used to going home after work and having someone be there. Even if Gabi was depressed most of the time, I knew I wasn’t going home to an empty place. The thought of being alone didn’t bother me. What bothered me was not going home to Eden. Knowing she’d be at her place and I’d be at mine. I didn’t want to be that far away from her.

“We can split the bills right down the middle. That way it won’t be a one-way street, but I’ll still get to see you every day and sleep with you every night. You can’t leave my office and expect me to be okay only seeing you a few nights a week. I can’t go from eight hours a day, Monday through Friday, to dinners and a few sleepovers.”

As she spoke, she gently caressed my skin with the tips of her fingers. “After my last breakup, I swore I wouldn’t live with someone else again until I was married. And it’s way too early to talk about that. So let’s just keep things the way they are, and we’ll figure the rest out. Normal people don’t leave their fiancée, go home with their assistant, and then move in together all in one day.”

My grandmother always told me you’d know when you find the right person. She said she just knew when she met my grandfather that he was the one. It really didn’t make any sense to me until Eden. I thought Gabi was the one. I tried desperately to believe that, but spending five seconds with Eden made me question everything, and I suddenly understood what Grans was talking about. I knew I’d marry Eden. And for the first time in my life, the thought of waiting burned a hole in my chest.

“I just don’t want to spend a night without you,” I pleaded, hoping I’d wear her down.

“I think you’ve been in a relationship for too long and you don’t know how to be by yourself. That’s what scares me, if I’m being honest.” She licked her lips and glanced down at her fingers, mindlessly scratching my jaw. “Actually, if I’m really being honest, the thought has crossed my mind that you’re using me as a replacement for Gabi. I’m worried that during this transitional time in her life, I’m filling a void, occupying a space that rightfully belongs to her.”

I leaned away and regarded her as if I could draw out the answers to my unasked questions without either of us ever speaking a word. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“No, Dane, I’m not. You told me yesterday how you’d made up your mind on the way home from Texas. You got home and you were going to leave her. But then she picked a fight and you ended up staying. In that same conversation, you tried to convince me—and probably yourself—that it was the right decision. Less than twenty-four hours later, you come to work with a bag packed after walking out on her. I get why you did it. I’m not saying I blame you. But look at this from my perspective. You didn’t want to be with me enough to leave. And now that you’ve finally ended things—not because you chose to, but because of something she did—now you want me. I know that’s not what happened. I can see it in your eyes, and I’ve always seen it when you look at me…but it makes me feel like I wasn’t chosen. Like had you not found out she’d lied, you wouldn’t be here. You’d still be with her. And now that you’re not, you came to me…the placeholder.”

I leaned into her, slightly hovering with my face so close to hers I could feel her exhales on my chin. “Listen, Eden…I need you to understand—”

“No.” She covered my lips with her fingers, cutting me off. “I do understand. I know the situation you were in and the reasons for your choices. I get it. I also know the way you look at me…the way you make me feel when I’m around you. I see the smile on your face when we’re together and the absence of light in your eyes when you talk about her. Trust me…I do understand. But even though I know the truth, it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“What would make you feel better?”

“Time. That’s it. Day by day, just prove to me you’re not going anywhere.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, Eden. But you won’t let me.”

“Shacking up together doesn’t prove you won’t leave. You were living with Gabi, yet you walked out the door this morning. I lived with my ex, but that didn’t stop him from kicking me out and moving in his new girl. We can ease into this, Dane. It would be best for everyone involved.”

I nodded, realizing what she meant. Wanting to live with her was selfish. It was nothing more than me craving to be with her every day, regardless of how ridiculous that idea was. Eden needed proof, so that’s what I’d give her. I’d give her time and show her with actions what she meant to me.

“I’m sorry.” I kissed her forehead and settled into the mattress with my arm slung over her hip. “I’ve never been an impatient person. My whole life has been about business—offering what I have to those who could benefit from it, while taking pleasure in knowing I was able to help. It was the same with Gabi. I honestly don’t remember the last time I had a personal life. One that didn’t involve business decisions. I’m not used to sitting back and waiting for things to happen.”

“That’s not true. You sat back and waited for Gabi to come around.”

I hated that she saw my relationship that way. Because that’s not how I saw it. “Actually, Gabi was more like the pot of water that refused to boil. So figuratively speaking, I put her on the back burner while I went on with business. Yes, I did wait for her to come around, but I continued to live. Even if it was mundane and played on repeat. I woke up, went to work to put out fires, and then went home to clean up messes. I kept to myself and survived the only way I knew how.”

“That sounds lonely.” Her voice was soft and sad.

I didn’t want her to be sad. “It was, but ever since I met you, I haven’t been. You brought me back to life, Eden. It’s like I had flatlined, and now that I’m awake and can appreciate each day, I want to live every one to the fullest. I don’t want to waste a day without you. I know you think I’m insane for wanting to ‘shack up’ with you and you think it’s too early or rushed or that I’m doing it because I’m not used to being alone. But that’s not true. It’s because I finally feel alive and have a deep desire to live.”

She giggled and it was music to my ears. “Well, if we’re going with the ‘back from the dead’ metaphor… No one can wake up after being in a coma for a decade, hop out of bed, and then run a marathon. You need to learn to walk again. So think of this period as you adjusting to life. I’m still here, Dane. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to lock me down for fear I won’t last. Don’t hold onto me like I’m your last hope—just hold my hand and we’ll take nice, slow steps until we’re ready for that marathon.”

“Slow steps?” I laughed and ran my hand over her bare ass.

“From here on out,” she said and rolled her eyes. “No moving in together anytime soon, and definitely no diamond rings or chapels or little pink plus signs. Okay?”

I drew her leg over my hip, my erection flush with her folds. “Well, if we’re taking a water break at the sex station, then I might as well get my fill.” I wagged my brows at her, making her giggle.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me on top of her. “Fill ‘er up, Dane.”

I dropped my face to the crook of her neck and laughed, our bodies shaking with humor. “You’re right…you’re not very quick-witted.”