After getting Gabi calm and settled into bed with a book, I headed down to the beach for a run. I’d had so much pent-up stress eating at me lately. I needed to get rid of it somehow. I ran in the sand until the sun began to drift behind the horizon. Then I turned around to head home. My steps began to falter the closer I got, and by the time I made it to the front of my building, the sky had completely darkened.

Ahead of me, I saw the waves crashing against the pier, beckoning me closer. So instead of going upstairs, I headed a little farther down the beach to my favorite spot. Honestly, it was more like an oversized dock. No one ever used it anymore except to fish off during the day. At night, it became secluded and was all mine. I turned up the music on my iPod and planted the earbuds in place as I walked down the rickety planks to sit in my preferred dark corner.

Just after the third song, I noticed a shadowy figure down the pier. As the person came closer, the moon’s light began to brighten her face. My smile widened before I could stop it. I turned off the music, and slowly took my earbuds out.

“Stalking me?” I asked when she stood only a few feet away.

She jumped and covered her chest, as if to catch her heart from falling to her feet. “Oh my God, you scared the shit out of me.” She sounded breathless, and it made me laugh.

I stood up so she could see me better and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Her soft laughs breathed life into her words. “I went for a walk and this place looked empty, so I figured I’d stop before heading home.”

I didn’t ask her to, but she sat down anyway. We’d kind of left things unsaid earlier when I left the office, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. “Did you go down to HR and fill out your paperwork today?”

With the moon shining bright, I could see her face clearly. God, she was beautiful. Her long hair was down in messy curls that hung over her bare shoulders and down her spine. It had been straight last night and she’d worn it up today at the office. Even though it was technically dark outside and I could only see it from the white light of the moon, I’d have to say curly was my favorite.

“Yeah,” she said as she bit her plump lower lip. “But I won’t lie…it took me a while to do it. You kind of threw me a curveball at the end before leaving. I wasn’t really sure how to react to that.”

My smile grew wider. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

A wispy breath blew past her lips right before she dipped her head, dropping her chin to her chest. “Sure you don’t. I had no idea who you were. If I’d known your last name, I would’ve never flipped out on you.” She lifted her gaze, shook her head, and chuckled to herself. “My God, Dane…I told you autistic people could do your job better than you.”

“No need to apologize. I liked your defensive nature.”

“But it’s you.”

“And what does that mean?” I tilted my head to the side, questioning her in the dark, even though she probably couldn’t see the inquisitive expression on my face in the shadows.

She waved her hand in front of her, but when I didn’t relent, she gave in. “Your company supports so many organizations. You fund so many projects and donate to so many good things. Had I known it was you, I would’ve never misunderstood you.”

“Honestly, Eden…don’t apologize. You didn’t know. Not to mention, I’ve encountered more CEOs in my time dealing with acquisitions to know that just because their business name is riddled with good deeds, it doesn’t mean the men running the companies are. Don’t be fooled.”

“So what are you trying to say?”

I laughed and leaned forward, bracing myself with my elbows on my knees, if only to eliminate a few inches of space between us. “I’m not one of them. I promise. I personally look into every foundation I support. I’m a big advocate against sex offenders. And there are a lot of organizations out there who deal with such topics…so I have to make sure I pick the right ones. My publicist helps me a lot when it comes to them, but in the end, I fully support what I put my name on.”

“I really wish I’d looked more into the owner,” she said with words so soft they were nearly carried out with the rolling waves.

“If you don’t mind me asking…why did you get so defensive? You seemed to have a personal reason. And if this is too forward, I apologize. Just tell me to shut up and I will.”

She smiled and glanced down at her lap again. Even though she’d explained it was because she was shy, I still hated it. I liked the idea of holding her gaze, not her looking away from me. I couldn’t look away from her even if I tried.

“My little brother had Asperger’s.”

I didn’t miss it. I heard it loud and clear. And even if I hadn’t, I would’ve picked up on it in her tone. I felt her sadness creep into my chest, expand through the abyss, and fill me with the chill of sorrow.

“Had,” I said, repeating her own word. “What happened to him?”

She lifted her head, and I felt a tightness in the pit of my stomach I hadn’t experienced in a very long time. Eden definitely had an effect on me. Although, I wasn’t quite sure if it was a good or bad thing.

“He also had a genetic heart defect.”

“Do you have the same one?” I cringed, waiting for her response. Something about the thought of her having a fatal health condition terrified me, and I didn’t know why. I barely knew her, but I already knew I didn’t want our time together to end so quickly. After only a few encounters, I had a feeling this girl had the ability to change me, to fix me…to possibly heal the brokenness inside.

Her voice lightened a little as she spoke, almost as if talking about her brother filled her with happiness. “No. He was my adopted brother.”

“Like you were adopted, or he was?” I hadn’t expected our conversation to turn out this way, but I enjoyed learning about her. She fascinated me. I liked talking to her and listening about her life—the good and the bad.

“We both were.”

“Do you know your birth parents?”

Eden shook her head, and I could only assume it a sore subject. But then she leaned forward, matching my own position, and spoke freely. “It was a closed adoption. But I’m not bitter about it. I have amazing parents who love me, support me, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“That’s awesome. It’s inspiring to hear stories like that. I think adoption is a tough choice, and I couldn’t ever imagine myself doing it. I’m not strong enough to go through with it. It’s a very selfless act.”

She tilted her head, staring up at the dark sky for a beat of silence before uttering, “Enough about me.”

I hated to talk about myself. There wasn’t too much to say. I didn’t feel comfortable opening up about my life with anyone, especially since my life pretty much consisted of Gabi, and her story wasn’t mine to tell. But I let Eden go on anyway, hoping she didn’t ask anything too personal.

“Since you know why I chose accounting and finance, why did you? What made you start Kauffmann Investments?” She couldn’t have asked a more perfect question.

“When I was fourteen, I started working at a small hardware store where I grew up. I loved the old man who owned it, Grady Allen. He was such a nice man who would give anyone the shirt off his back. When I was sixteen, he sat me down and said he had to let me go. I thought it was something I’d done, but he finally broke down and admitted he was going to lose the store. He couldn’t afford to keep it open anymore.” I paused to take a breath. No matter how long ago it’d been, retelling this story always seemed to get to me.

“He had to fire you?”

“My job wasn’t what worried me; I knew I’d find another one. And it wasn’t like he paid me very much anyway. What upset me the most was him losing the store. He’d had it for over forty years. So I took every penny I’d saved from working there and then asked my father for a loan to cover the rest. I asked him to give me until I turned eighteen to return it with interest.”

“Did you even know what you were doing?” she asked, interjecting her thoughts into my story. It made me laugh. She seemed more concerned over my dire need to help my old boss than she did the outcome of Grady’s shop.

“Not a clue. But I’d been there for two years and saw how he ran things. I saw what people bought. Not to mention, I’d talked to nearly everyone who’d come in and found out where they were getting parts and for how much. It’s hard to run a small shop and stay in competition with the big retailers. But it’s not impossible. Grady Allen came from a different era, so he wasn’t familiar with the competitiveness of Wal-Mart and the like.”

“So you went into it completely blind?”

“Business-wise? Yeah. I had no clue. But I had heart, and a lot of determination. I also had age on my side. I had the ability to research and look into the competitors who were threatening his store.”

She bit her lip again, and when her gaze found mine in the night, the moonlight reflected off hers, sparkling like the stars above. “Sorry. Go ahead. I didn’t mean to cut you off.”

I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I decided against it. Instead, I went on with my story. “So, I went to Grady Allen with a check and convinced him to give me a chance to turn his store around. He didn’t give in easily, but finally relented after I showed him my ideas. I had graphs and pie charts. I had numbers and suppliers. He realized this was a kid with a plan, and eventually let me have my way.

“Within a year, he was not only in the black for the first time in a while, but he was making more money than he had in the previous ten years combined. When I turned eighteen, he gave me half-ownership of the store and made me his partner. It wasn’t what I was after, but that’s when he suggested I sell my share and start my own company. It was because he knew I had something special. He believed in me. My father sent me to college to learn about management and investments, and the rest is history.”

“Wow. That’s rather impressive.”

“Yeah, I am.”

And then she laughed again. It did even more to me in the darkness because it literally surrounded me like an invisible blanket. Every thought in my head shut down with the sound. My troubles with Gabi vanished, my stress disappeared. Everything became better with the simple sound of her happiness.

“Oh my God, why do I think you’re not joking?”

“Why would I joke about something like that? I am impressive.” I finally snickered with her, enjoying this moment. It’d been too long. Although, a small ache settled in my chest, knowing this was wrong. I should’ve been enjoying moments with Gabi, not Eden. And more importantly, I shouldn’t have wanted to stay here.

“It’s nice to hear you laugh,” she commented shyly.

“Why’s that?”

“You seemed really quiet when I first sat down. Last night you were friendly and inviting. This morning you were…intimidating. But tonight, you’re…I don’t know, distant.”

I thought I did a good job of hiding it. Somehow, she saw through me. I wondered if she was the first person to see it since it all happened. Or maybe just the first person to say anything.

I shrugged. “Just a rough day.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Sometimes I thought it would help to get it off my chest, but I didn’t really feel like I had anyone who’d listen. Yet here she was, asking me to open up to her. I could’ve talked to her about it, but I enjoyed spending time with her and refused to mess things up by bringing up miscarriages and depression. So I shook my head and said, “No, but thank you.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then she stood up. I didn’t move. I sat there and watched as she peered over the banister into the lapping water below.

“What are you doing?” I asked without taking my eyes off her.

“We should go swimming. Jump in with me.”

“I’m not jumping in. It’s not deep enough.”

“Don’t be scared. This will be my first time in the Gulf of Mexico. It’s a monumental occasion. Don’t you want to experience it with me?” She teased me, taunted me. She flirted with me, and I knew I needed to put an end to it.

I stood, determined to go home, but she kicked off her flip-flops and climbed over the railing. I should have told her no, that it was unsafe.

I should’ve walked away.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I followed suit by taking off my tennis shoes and socks, then joining her on the other side.

She stared at me with wide eyes, probably reflecting the same expression I knew I wore on my face. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have been on that side. I shouldn’t have been seconds away from jumping off a dock into water that was too shallow. But somehow, she made me forget about it all.

About the pain I lived with.

The laughter I longed for.

The excitement I used to have for life.

“Hey,” she said as she grabbed my hand. “Just know that if you ever need an ear, I’m a really good listener.” Before I had a chance to respond, she jumped forward, taking me with her.

When I got to the water, I tucked my legs, not releasing them until I was on my way up to the surface. It was deeper than I had thought—the tide must’ve been in—and as I stood, the water came to my shoulders. Eden was almost a foot shorter than me, so I knew she wouldn’t have been able to stand.

Her head pushed through the surface as she took in a lungful of air and grabbed ahold of me. “I can’t swim.” She sounded panicked and out of breath, so I brought her body to me and held her around her waist.

Her legs wound around my midsection and squeezed. I wished she hadn’t done that. It’d been too long since anyone had touched me, even the slightest bit. Her legs wrapped around me was too much.

I shouldn’t have liked it.

I wished I hadn’t.

“If you can’t swim, why the fuck would you jump in the water?” I asked, hoping to conceal my guilt with irritation.

“You said it wasn’t that deep.” She was still out of breath and I didn’t know if it was from the jump or fear.

“It’s normally not,” I responded as I walked her up to the shore.

Once we made it far enough for her to stand on her own, she let go. That’s what I had wanted her to do from the beginning, ever since she’d latched on, but once she did, I wished she’d held on longer. The absence of her—of a simple touch—manifested into pain. The lack of physical human contact was excruciating. But I knew it was for the best.

Silence consumed us as we walked to the shore. She inched closer to me, and I did nothing but stand there, waiting to see what she’d do. Her hands came up and held my face. She forced my gaze to hers. I resisted at first. But I gave in and let her look into my soul because she made me feel cherished and cared for. My heart ached and a war raged on inside my head. I shouldn’t have been there with her. The words were at the tip of my tongue. I can’t. But they didn’t come out.

Her fingernails ran over the dusting of scruff on my cheek until I literally groaned in agony. That simple touch sent an ache throughout my body, a yearning I hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever.

Slowly, she pulled my face closer to hers. Inch by painstaking inch, until her breath fanned across my lips. A split second before our mouths met, I turned my head, knowing this was wrong. I craved it, more than anything, but not from her. I needed it from Gabi—from the one woman I loved. But I hadn’t had it in so long. The need to feel wanted burned from the inside out. The guilt over desiring it from someone else was almost too much to bear.

She moved away and let go of my face. “I’m so sorry. That was…that was stupid of me. My God. What was I thinking? You’re my boss! And I…threw myself at you. I was…I was wrapped up in the adrenaline of jumping off the pier. I’m sorry, Dane.”

“Eden.” Her name burned my tongue, as if it knew it didn’t belong there. “Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault. I just can’t. This…can’t happen again.”

“No. I know. Really, Dane, I’m so sorry. This isn’t who I am. I don’t go around trying to kiss random men. Especially men I work for. You don’t have to worry about me trying to do something like this ever again. I swear.” She rambled, taking on all the responsibility, and I knew I had to stop it. I had to make sure she knew it wasn’t her.

“Seriously, stop apologizing. It’s not you. It’s not because I’m your boss—even though that should be the reason. I can’t do this with you because I’m…I’m with someone.”

No words, only silence.

Her feet shuffled in the sand as she took a step back, turned, paused, and then faced me again. Another step in my direction, her hand in the air. Her mouth opened and closed. And then she turned away again. But this time, she didn’t change her mind. She simply walked away, leaving me standing there.

I wanted to run after her.

I wanted to go home.

I wanted…

I wanted…

I just fucking wanted to be happy again.