“I know it’s last minute, but I have a meeting in Texas on Monday morning. Would you be able to attend with me?” I asked Eden when she entered my office to drop off a few files.

To say things at work were a little strained would be an understatement. For the past week, Eden barely made eye contact with me, even when discussing business, and she’d started closing the shared office door. To make matters worse, she even stopped coming to my office for lunch. Rather than eat with me, she’d been sharing lunches with Heidi, a woman in the legal team.

I assumed her cold shoulder was because of our moment at the pier. However, I didn’t know for sure because we never discussed it again. In fact, we hadn’t shared a real conversation since. The silence and avoidance were probably for the best, but it fucking ate me alive. I craved to be near her, and it took me almost two days before I figured out why her avoidance was so monumental. I missed talking to her. I missed her interest in my life, and I missed hearing about hers. I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until she started paying attention to me and then abruptly stopped. Now I was truly miserable.

“Monday? As in three days from now?” she asked with wide, surprised eyes.

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to meet with them for weeks, but they’ve been hesitant. I just received an email from them requesting an immediate meeting, and the only time they can schedule it is Monday. This is a really big opportunity and I can’t pass it up. It would be a good idea for you to come along and see how these meetings work.”

“In Texas?”

“Yeah, but you won’t have to worry about airfare or hotel—obviously, that would be taken care of. And food, too.” I couldn’t explain it, but my heart refused to beat while I waited for her answer.

“Hotel? Like we’d be staying the night?”

“Well, usually. I don’t care too much for spending an entire day in an airport.”

“Um, yeah. I guess that’s fine. What exactly do you need me there for?”

“You’re my assistant and I trust your judgment. You should be there by my side during the meeting and in case we sign a contract. I also thought you’d like to see how an acquisition takes place. If you aren’t interested in attending, that’s fine. I’ve always done it alone, anyway.” Uncertainty began to gnaw at me. Tentative of where she was mentally, if we’d ever get back to the way things were before, and how she felt about me. I felt like a fucking girl.

Before she could give a negative response, I decided to give her an out. I shook my head and said, “You know what? Never mind.”

“No, I want to go,” she protested.

I tried to bite my tongue, but it didn’t work. “Do you? You’ve been evasive all week. You’ve ignored me and barely spoken, giving one-word answers at best. The only reason I can come up with as to why you’re acting this way is because of what happened at the pier on Monday. But that wasn’t just me, and you know it. You played a part in that, too. So I don’t know why I’m the one being punished.”

She vigorously shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes. I had no clue she would react that way. My biggest weak spot was a crying woman, and she pummeled the fuck out of it.

“I’ve had a rough week. God, not everything is about you,” she spat out and then spun around, heading for the door.

Hell, no. I wasn’t about to let her say that and then leave in tears. I ran around my desk and caught up to her before she reached her office. I grabbed her shoulders to stop her. She clung to the doorframe as I pressed my chest to her back. Her head fell against the wood, her soft cries filling the silence.

“No. You can’t just say you had a rough week and then leave. You can’t start crying and then walk out. What happened? Talk to me. Tell me about it. I’ll do whatever I can to make it right. Just don’t leave like this, please.” I pressed my mouth to her hair right behind her ear, and all I could smell was gardenia. The scent my grandmother used to wear.

She shook her head.

“Just talk to me,” I begged.

“I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“That’s bull. You’ve made me talk about all kinds of shit I wasn’t ready to talk about yet. You pushed me to open up to you, so now it’s your turn. It’s your turn to finally tell me something personal about you.”

She spun around. The redness of her eyes made the green stand out even more. They were bright, like the sunlight breaking through treetops. It didn’t matter if this girl was happy, sad, angry, or indifferent—she was gorgeous no matter what emotion played on her features.

“Really?” She was mad. Really, really mad—furious. Evident by the slight flair in her nostrils. “Every single time I ask you anything personal, you freeze up. You shut down and then that’s the end of the conversation. That was you, countless times. So don’t stand here and lecture me to open up.” She raised her voice and kept pointing her finger—at me, at her, at anything and everything.

“You asked me personal questions about Gabi. I haven’t given you the answers because they aren’t my secrets to share. They aren’t my memories or tragedies to repeat or discuss with anyone. They’re hers. Ask me something personal about me, and I’ll tell you all your heart desires to know. But don’t ask about her and then hold it against me for not spilling intimate details of her life.”

She crossed her arms, challenging me, and I began to worry I’d made a mistake by offering to answer personal questions. I clearly hadn’t thought that through.

“Why are you still with her?” she asked in a steady, quiet voice.

“I don’t even know how to answer that.” And that was the truth. My reasons for staying were tethered to Gabi’s secrets, and that led me back to being unable to offer an honest response.

“Do you love her?”

“Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?”

“Are you happy?”

I couldn’t answer that, either. All I could do was stare at her while she stared at me, daring me with pleading eyes. “I…um…I mean…I used to be. I know I will be again.”

“So you’re not? Is that why you got quiet the other night when we were talking about my boyfriend cheating on me?”

“I’ll admit it—I’m not at the moment. But I used to be. Sometimes really shitty things happen to people you really love, making them dispirited—hopeless. In turn, you take on their sorrow and become just as discouraged. How fair would it be if I left her because of that? It’s not her fault I feel this way. It’s not her fault she feels this way.”

“So you’re going to stay with someone even though you’re miserable because she’s had a rough go at life? You’d rather be miserable than walk away? You’d be willing to pass up a chance at a fulfilled future because of her tragic past?”

My heart grew tight and my head spun. It was like my thoughts over the last few weeks used her mouth as a portal. They were all the same questions I’d asked myself and came up with the same meager response—my commitment to her was more important than my own happiness. But I’d been too scared to even think about the truth, because the truth scared the living shit out of me.

“Do you want me to leave?” I didn’t know why I even asked her that, but I did, and now I found myself holding my breath. It began to feel as if I hoped she’d make that decision for me so I wouldn’t have to. So I wouldn’t be the bad guy. I never realized how scared I was of making up my own mind until then.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying?” I asked, mirroring her raised voice.

“You deserve happiness. If it’s with Gabi, then great. If not, then you need to fucking grow a pair and do something about it. Because you’re a great guy, probably the best I’ve ever met, and it’s not okay for you to be living like this. I don’t know who or what will satisfy you, but you deserve it. Probably more than anyone else. I only wish you could see it. I wish you thought you deserved it enough to make it happen.”

I was speechless. I stood there and listened to every word she spoke, and I had no response. She was right…about most of it. If only it were that cut and dry. If only the decision wouldn’t affect anyone else. But it would. It was about another person, too. Not just another person. Gabi. And the thought of what could happen if I left struck fear into the very center of my being.

“Email me the details of the trip and I’ll be ready,” she calmly stated and then left.

I watched her go without moving an inch. I didn’t fight for her to stay; I didn’t tell her goodbye or respond in any way. I just stood there, motionless, and watched her pack her bag and leave. Once her office door was closed, I picked up the stapler from my desk and flung it across the room.

I was full of so much emotion I couldn’t sort out. I didn’t know where to begin with the unfamiliar feelings. I’d never viewed myself as a coward before. But that’s what I was. I always thought I was selfless, benevolent, someone who considered others’ needs before his own desires. But it seemed as though I was nothing but a coward. Someone who was too scared to follow his heart, and instead, called himself selfless.

On my way home, I did nothing but replay every one of Eden’s words. I put them on repeat, listening to them over and over again in my head. I thought about what she’d said at the pier, as well. She would never tell me to leave, and I couldn’t expect her to. That had to be my choice. Only, I wasn’t ready to make that decision yet—if ever.

When I got home, I found Gabi waiting for me in the foyer. She had on a sexy French maid outfit, duster, garter, fishnets and all. She walked to me, sensually swaying her hips from side to side, and suddenly, every thought in my head vanished.

She sashayed toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me against her body. I was too stunned to respond. I hadn’t seen her act this way in so long, I wasn’t prepared for it. I hadn’t expected to come home and find her ready to play. She stepped up on her tiptoes and kissed me…the way I’d longed for her to. And that’s when I tasted it.

“You’ve been drinking, Gabs?”

“Tsk, tsk…it’s Gabriella tonight,” she said with a fake, broken accent. “I’m the hired help you got from Peru. I am not a citizen, so you’ll have to pay me under the table…or on top of the table if you prefer. Or against the wall or behind the couch.”

I’d wished for this, hoped and prayed to have this side of her again…but it felt wrong. If I gave in, I’d be an ass for taking advantage of her inebriation. And after my conversation with Eden prior to leaving work, I knew I needed to do something.

“Talk to me, Gabi. What happened today?” She had another appointment with the therapist this morning, and I assumed her drinking had something to do with it.

She tossed the duster onto the kitchen counter and turned away, her shoulders drooping. This was the real Gabi, the one I’d grown so familiar with. The depressed person I’d been living with for months on end.

“You can talk to me, Gabs. I’m here. I’m willing to listen. All you have to do is trust me. Open up to me like you used to.”

“I’m so tired of talking!” she yelled through a sob.

I couldn’t contain my scoff. “Are you kidding me right now? You never talk. Not to me! You hole yourself up in our room all day and either sleep or read. You don’t even look at me anymore. I feel like you wouldn’t even notice if I was gone.”

She turned around and her tear-stained face made my breath catch in my throat. “Don’t leave me,” she begged with the tiniest whimper. “I know I haven’t been good to you, and I’m trying to change that. I’m trying to be intimate with you, but you’re pushing me away.”

“That’s not true. I’m desperate for it, Gabi. But I refuse to do it this way. Not when you’ve been drinking. I know if you were sober, you’d be in bed, in sweats, hidden behind your book—not trying to seduce me. Did something happen at your appointment today that upset you?”

She nodded and wiped her blotchy face.

“Tell me about it. I want to hear what happened. Let’s do this together.”

“Dr. Greiner thought it would be a good idea to discuss my mom. He knows all about my issues with her, so I don’t understand why he’d make me go there again. But he did.”

“Did you talk about her?”

“Yeah.” That’s all she needed to say. I knew how badly her mother had hurt her, the irreparable damage she’d caused, and I understood where her pain had come from, having to dredge it all up again. “So I came home and had a glass of wine to calm down. Then I had another.”

“If you have to drink after talking about your mom, then I’m going to assume there’s a logical reason behind Dr. Greiner’s interest in revisiting those issues. You need to actually deal with what happened, Gabi. There’s a big difference between talking about it and dealing with it.”

Her bottom lip quivered right before she sucked it into her mouth. She grabbed her glass of wine from the counter and turned around, saying, “I’m going to take a bath,” over her shoulder.

“What about dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.” That was all she said to me for the rest of the night.

Two visits to her therapist and she’d locked herself up tight in her depression, while holding me hostage, as well. I didn’t leave her side the entire weekend. I knew she was upset about me going on the work trip Monday morning, but her despair was more than that. It went beyond not wanting me to leave her alone for a day. Although, she wouldn’t admit it. She continued to say her mother wasn’t the issue, and I eventually gave up trying to reason with her.

I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out before tossing in the towel and giving up completely. Her darkness knew no bounds and would eventually take me down with her. I didn’t know how much more I could handle.

“What do you mean, one room?” Eden shouted in disbelief at the hotel receptionist. We’d caught an early flight out to Texas and spent the entire trip in silence—her dealing with her personal issues, and me dealing with mine. This was the first time I’d heard her actually speak more than two words strung together since I’d picked her up from her apartment at five this morning.

“I booked two separate rooms and even confirmed it last night,” I said to the desk clerk, explaining things in a calmer manner than Eden.

“I know, I see that right here, but one of the rooms you booked had a water leak in it this morning. We’ve been trying to find a solution for you, but as of right now, we don’t have another available room.”

“That’s it. Let’s go to another hotel,” Eden snarled, clearly pissed off.

“The meeting is here.”

“We can’t change it? You can’t call him and let him know what’s happening?”

“No, he’s staying here, too. We decided to meet here because it was close to the airport. He’s coming in from out of town and the reservations have already been made.”

“Good, then you can stay in their room,” she said with her arms crossed and the huff of a petulant child.

I couldn’t help it. I found it amusing. The thought of sharing a room with Eden scared the shit out of me too, but there was nothing else we could do at the moment. I laughed at her attitude, furthering her anger toward me.

She narrowed her eyes. “You think this is funny? Let’s call Gabi and see what she thinks about it. Let’s see how humorous she finds the idea of us sharing a room.”

I turned to the receptionist. “That’s fine, we’ll take it. But if there’s a cancellation, could you let us know, please?”

She agreed and got us checked in. As if one bedroom wasn’t bad enough, it was one room with only one bed. I really began to think God was fucking with me. Either that or it was Satan. Who knew. All I knew was that I was stuck in a room with Eden, the temptress herself, overnight.

We got dressed—separately—and then made our way down to the restaurant to meet with the men looking for my help in salvaging their company.

Everything went smoothly, and I ended up making an offer. Eden didn’t speak much to me, but she did interact with everyone else rather politely. No one could even tell she harbored such resentment toward me over the room situation.

It wasn’t until the music started to play, the lights dimmed, and people began dancing that the night suddenly turned. I was content sitting in my seat, watching everyone else. But Kyle, the owner of the business I had just agreed to take over, suggested Eden and I take the floor to celebrate. He had his wife with him and they stood up, waiting for us to follow. If he had seen the look on Eden’s face, he probably would’ve given up, but he didn’t. She reluctantly stood and took my offered hand.

When we made it out to the floor, I wrapped my arm around her waist, holding her close with her hand in mine. She placed her other hand on my shoulder and started to slowly sway with the beat of the song. It oddly felt a lot like my sixth-grade dance. Cold and awkward. But we had the attention of everyone at the table, so we had to make the most of it.

Eden had on a simple black dress with heels that put her much closer to my height. The dress itself was modest, nothing fancy about it. But on her, it was anything but. It fit her curves perfectly, like it was made for her. Her breasts were completely covered, not even an inch of cleavage showing, and the bottom part clung to her thighs.

At some point during my assessment of her wardrobe, she became impossibly closer as we danced. Either she grew more comfortable in my arms or I drew her nearer and she didn’t protest. Her hand slid up my shoulder, rested at the base of my neck, and she pressed her face against my cheek.

“Talk to me…tell me something,” I whispered into her ear as we swayed gently to the music.

“What would you like to hear?” She almost sounded out of breath, exactly how I felt.

“I don’t care. Just tell me something.”

“My parents don’t know I’m alone in Florida. I lied and told them I moved with a friend from NYU.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I moved to Florida to find my birth mother.”

My steps faltered. I didn’t expect to hear her admit that to me. “I thought you moved because of Kauffmann? And why wouldn’t you tell your parents the truth?”

“I did move because of Kauffmann, after I found out my birth mother works there.”

I froze. I literally stopped moving and pulled away enough to look into her eyes. It was like she just admitted to kidnapping a child or something. “She what? Who is it?”

Eden shook her head and moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. She began to sway as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn’t confessed that I employed her birth mother, a woman she apparently hadn’t met and was searching for.

“I’m not ready to talk about that yet,” she said into my ear. “I was already taking accounting classes because I love numbers, and that’s when I found out about her. I learned she worked there and then I began looking into the company. That’s why I didn’t really know anything about you because I was too busy looking at other things.”

“That’s what you were upset about last week?”

“That and other things.”

“Me?” I didn’t want to hear her answer, but then again, I did.

She hesitated. I didn’t like the hesitation. “Don’t you think it’s weird that I go looking for my birth mother and she works for you? I go to a bar the night before my interview and you’re there. Not just there, but we were both alone. That moron tried to hit on me and you stepped in. I find a nice and quiet place on the beach and you appear again. At what point do you stop thinking it’s a coincidence and start thinking it’s something bigger?”

I didn’t answer her. I didn’t know how to. I’d wondered the same thing and found it strange to hear my thoughts come out of her mouth. It wasn’t that I disagreed with her. It was more along the lines of not knowing what to do about it. Leaving Gabi while she was hurting so badly was nothing but a selfish thing to do. The only person benefitting from that scenario would be me. I’d always thought of Gabi, always put her first—still did. I thought about how much it would hurt her to know I’d confided in Eden—about her, about us.

“I don’t know what this thing is between us, but it’s driving me crazy,” Eden whispered while lightly running her nails through the short hairs on the back of my head. “I feel like I’m sitting on the sidelines waiting to be called in to play the game. I don’t want to be that person.”

Her confession took me by surprise. I knew we had chemistry, and I knew she felt it as much as I did. But not once did she ever admit how she truly felt about me. Then again, it wasn’t like I’d acknowledged it, either. Until now, it’d been nothing more than an invisible line we didn’t discuss. We tiptoed on either side, but never crossed it. She’d shown me and my relationship with Gabi nothing but respect, all while silently torturing me with an illusion I’d never be able to grasp.

“I know.” I lowered my mouth to her ear. “But you have to understand it’s not an easy decision to make. It’s not like I’m deciding to trade in a car. I’ve been with her since I was sixteen years old. Infatuated with her since I was fifteen. I’ve been in love with her for over ten years and have spent every day of my adult life taking care of her. She needs me right now; I can’t just walk away from that.”

“I understand. I hope you’re both happy. And if she gets better—when she gets better—I hope you find that again. I meant it when I said you deserve it.”

She kissed my cheek, released me, and then walked away. I was left standing in the middle of the dimly lit dance floor, watching her leave.

I could physically hear my time ticking away. But I wasn’t sure what time that was.

My time with Gabi…or my time with Eden.

But one of them was coming to an end.