C onnor gave a barely perceptible nod as he greeted Rob, as the other man snuck through the doorway of the crumbling stone building. Following orders to find and neutralize the terrorist insurgents in the area, Connor’s unit had fanned out and crept around the dusty shell, scoping out the landscape.
He pushed his combat helmet up a little and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He’d never get used to the Afghan heat. And it’d been a scorcher. The dry desert wind was so hot it was like breathing in fire, and over summer, it didn’t quit for months on end. The long days were always the same—sun beating down on them from dawn to dusk. The nights were just as bad, with temperatures hardly dropping. Connor often lay under the squeaky fan in their bunk room—the same one that barely circulated the oppressive hot air—and dreamed of the ocean breezes back home.
Drawing his assault rifle up high, Connor looked through the scope, methodically checking the roofline and each of the windows of the squat buildings surrounding them. Even though air support had confirmed there were signs of recent activity, nothing out of the ordinary was visible from the laneway.
While Rob double-checked the same line Connor had just scoped out, he whispered, “You rocked ‘Everlong’ last night.” The Foo Fighters classic was one of Connor’s favourites, but he’d only managed to nail it the night before, sitting in the mess hall of the Allied Forces compound. He grinned. They’d had fun—Rob playing a jerry-rigged set of drums and him on an acoustic guitar singing their hearts out.
“You’ve got mad skills on the buckets, but that singing? Damn, it was shithouse.” At Connor’s playful jab, Rob snickered, the unit falling silent once more as they continued their watch.
Connor shuffled forward a little and pivoted, Rob mirroring his movement so they checked each other’s lines before spinning back around so he could move again. Taking that single step put him in front of what used to be a window, the building now open to the elements. Through it, Connor saw another window and beyond that, the alleyway around the corner where they would regroup with the other half of their unit.
In the eerie near silence, he heard the click of a firing pin being cocked. It echoed through his brain as loud as a gunshot, setting every nerve ending on high alert. Who did it? And then he spied him. The person—he guessed a man—was covered with a sand-coloured blanket. The slightest movement of the malleable material caught his attention. Almost directly ahead, two stories above them. Silently, Connor signalled for the others, pointing to where he had seen the enemy. Hyperaware of his surroundings, he didn’t take his eyes off the target. Time slowed, as did his heartbeat while Connor readied his weapon, flicking off the safety. His hands rocksteady, he waited for the order to engage. It would only be given when they were certain no unarmed locals would be caught in a gunfight.
Next to him, Rob dropped to one knee and raised the gun scope to his eye. “Insurgent, rooftop, at one o’clock,” he whispered, his throat mic transmitting the broadcast to the other men in their unit.
“Hold your cover,” their commanding officer ordered.
A couple of barely audible shuffles on the hard-packed earth behind Connor was the only indication that the men in his unit adjusted their positions, covering their six. More locations were given, more of their foes identified. They weren’t surrounded, but they might as well have been. And his unit had been given a hold order. Powerless to do anything but wait until they got more intel, this was the part he hated.
The wait and see game they were playing had Connor on edge, ratcheting up the tension. Their commanding officer’s shouted order, “Fire at will,” shattered the relative calm before the storm. His timing couldn’t have been any better scripted, barely a second before the coordinated movement of blankets sliding off weapons happened before their eyes. The insurgents made the mistake of exposing their positions, leaving Connor and the other soldiers to pick them off. Strategically hidden, their Australian Army unit was as protected as they could be in a war zone. The mud and clay houses surrounding them took the majority of fire as the deep boom of their assault rifles rent the air. The recoil from each shot Connor let loose was enough to dislocate an inexperienced shooter’s arm. But Connor had been trained by the best. And the six years’ experience he’d had in hell holes just like this one kept his shooting arm rocksteady under fire.
All hell broke loose as their fire was returned, the unmistakeable tinny clatter of the enemy’s AK47s drowned out by the boom of their more powerful weapons. The acrid smell of cordite filled his nose until he could taste it, dust and smoke creating a haze around them. The danger and adrenaline were like a shot to his heart, kick-starting it into a pounding rhythm. His brothers and sisters in arms let rip with their full arsenal, and Connor panned his gun, searching for his next target. Instinctively, his sight was drawn back to the spot where he’d initially seen movement only moments earlier. The glint of metal winked in the sunlight, capturing his eye. It wasn’t the weapon he’d seen. It was something else—a ring perhaps, or a watch. But there was no mistaking the outline of the launcher and the rocket attached to it.
“RPG.” he yelled, depressing the trigger on his rifle to neutralize the target.
“Take cover,” his commanding officer yelled, rounding his weapon and firing with Connor in the direction of the rooftop. Their bullets hit their mark, a patch of scarlet blossoming out over the sand-coloured clothing worn by the enemy shooter. Bullets zinged past Connor, his latest shot exposing his position to the insurgents.
An almighty explosion tore through the alley before them, the shockwave launching Connor into the air. He hit the wall hard, driving the air from his lungs. His body reeled from the impact. The instant thump of his head and his vision—foggy around the edges—told him his combat helmet had taken a hit that would otherwise have scrambled his brains. The ringing in his ears was a piercing scream, increasing in frequency until it made him nauseous. Winded, he struggled to take a breath, panic involuntarily welling inside him. Sure, he’d been injured before, but never incapacitated. And he was a sitting duck until he could think straight and get his body to cooperate. Disoriented, Connor fought the fear and took stock of his surroundings. Now inside the building he’d been using as shelter, he was safe for the moment. But he was also trapped, having to traverse past the open windows to get back to his former position. Connor lifted his gun—held to him with the strap attached to his flack vest—checking it would still fire. The screaming pain of flesh tearing had him gasping for breath and looking over his shoulder. He was impaled on a piece of jagged glass, wedged in tight under the Kevlar protecting his body.
The gunfight continued around him, but it faded to white noise when the dust cleared enough that he could see Rob’s convulsing form. Limbs splayed at an awkward angle like a ragdoll had been dropped onto the floor, Rob’s muscles spasmed. No. No, no, no. Connor gritted his teeth and fought another wave of nausea when he pulled away, dislodging the glass from his shoulder.
Still dizzy, he then crawled over to his friend, forgetting about the danger lurking outside. Blood oozed from Rob’s neck, the crimson stain on his uniform growing unchecked with each beat of Rob’s heart. Horror filled Connor. He couldn’t lose his friend. He wouldn’t. Rob struggled, fighting to take a rasping breath as blood pooled around him. It was like a horror movie, but one that Connor couldn’t press Pause on, one he knew he’d never forget. Every memory of Rob laughing, of the warm glow of pure love Rob got when talking about his wife, of every prank and every serious moment they’d shared over the years hit Connor with the force of a Mack truck. He had to save him. “Stick with me, mate. I’m gonna get you outta here.” Connor frantically pressed a hand down on Rob’s bloodied throat, trying desperately to stem the bleeding while he searched for a safe exit. He needed to get Rob out of there, needed to get him to safety. Oh God, no. Please, please let him be okay.
“Con, left pocket. For Molly.” Rob’s voice came out with a distinctive gurgle, blood pooling in his wind pipe, quickly drowning him. Tears sprang to Connor’s eyes, his heart shattering into a million pieces. This man had been his brother and his confidant since basic training. He couldn’t lose him. Connor loved him like family. A piece of him died as the light in his friend’s eyes began to fade.
“Live. Go home to them,” Rob gasped, forcing the words out while his body shut down. He stilled slowly, but Connor knew the instant he’d lost him. With shaky hands, he closed Rob’s eyelids. Taking a steadying breath, Connor nodded, psyching himself up. He took the folded note from Rob’s top left pocket—the one directly over his heart—and stuffed it in his jacket. He kissed the other man’s forehead, resting his own against it.
“Rest easy, my friend. I’ll take you home.”
Sucking in another breath and compartmentalizing the pain of loss so fresh it hadn’t properly sunk in yet, Connor raised his gun again and crept to the nearest window. It wasn’t revenge pulsing through his veins, but justice. Rob’s killers weren’t going to get to face court though. He’d pick off each and every one of them, leaving them bloodied in the dirt to protect his other brothers and sisters. Through the magnification on the scope, he made out shadows inside the building closest to the other half of his separated unit. He fired, pausing only to check that his target dropped before moving onto the next.
The return bullets aimed at them slowed, then stopped and with it, the ache in his arm intensified. Connor found his throat mic, which had dislodged when he’d hit the wall, and reattached it, answering his commanding officer’s status check. Rob wasn’t the only loss they’d suffered. Two more of their team were down—one with minor injuries and another in need of emergency treatment.
The thwap, thwap, thwap of helicopters in the distance grew louder until the noise drowned out everything else. He peered out of the window to see two gunships covering the hovering medivac chopper, paramedics zip-lining down ropes. A stretcher followed them down on the winch into their waiting arms. Their commanding officer and Blair, another member of his unit, carried Ross to the medics, lying him down on the stretcher. Another stretcher followed, and Connor knew this one was for Rob. He waved them over before kneeling by his friend. “Medics are here to take ya home, Rob.” Connor lifted his protective glasses and wiped the tears forming with the back of his dirty hand. “I love you, man.”
six months later
Connor stepped out of the plane door onto the mobile steps and looked around. Twilight was falling, the sky a wash of pinks and oranges as the sun set over the Gold Coast hinterland. He couldn’t see it from the airport, but Connor could picture the rolling waves of the Pacific to the east. He couldn’t wait to lay eyes on the ocean again.
Walking across the tarmac toward the terminal, the salty sea breeze teased him—he could smell it even over the avgas—the balmy breeze caressing his skin. The warmth was a welcome change from the out-of-season chilly weather in the Adelaide hills, and before that, the icy winter in the Afghanistan desert.
He’d been discharged from active service. He was done, a civilian now, a scary thought.
The automatic doors whooshed open and the air-conditioned comfort greeted him. The building was jam-packed, the noise from the crowd a low hum. He passed straight through, heading for the luggage carousel and his two bags, trying his best to dodge the crowds milling around waiting. Spotting his duffle, he snatched it up before collecting his guitar case. Connor then joined the line for a taxi. He was tired—it’d been a hard journey so far. Seeing Rob’s widow, Molly, was as heartbreaking as he’d dreaded it would be. But he couldn’t come home without seeing her. He’d long since sent her Rob’s note, but he owed it to her, to Rob, to tell her as much as he could about Rob’s death.
He took a steadying breath and let a smile play on his lips. He couldn’t wait to see Levi, his big blond mate again, and the girl who’d captured his friend’s heart. Their house wasn’t far from the airport. Barely thirty minutes had passed when they pulled up in front of Levi and Katy’s 1970s cottage. Connor sat and stared at the house. Am I really doing this? I left because of them. Why am I back? Because they’re my family and I couldn’t stay away. The taxi driver’s words roused him. “Mate, you all right? This is it, yeah?”
The house had been partly renovated since he was there a few years earlier. Instead of the reddish-brown bricks, the walls had been rendered and were painted taupe and black. The garden had been cleaned up too, but there was no mistaking it was Levi and Katy’s place. “Yeah, we’re here. Sorry, spaced out for a sec.”
He paid the driver and hauled his gear from the taxi. Finding himself standing at the bottom of the front stoop by the front door, Connor froze. Voices and laughter carried through to him. His heart clenched. God, he’d missed that, missed being so light-hearted. His unit hadn’t laughed much in the six months after Rob had died. His absence had hit them hard, Connor especially.
Despite being always surrounded by people, Connor was lonely, and hearing the happy sounds of his oldest friend, Katy, and their visitors conversing, only reminded him of how much he’d lost, and of what he’d had to give up when he was discharged. Six months without one of his brothers had been hell, and now he was out of the army, he wouldn’t see any of the men or women in his unit. Not regularly anyway. Sure, he’d keep in touch with them, pay forward the kindness Katy and Levi had shown him when he was posted in that hell hole, but it wasn’t the same as being there in the thick of it with them. But everything had changed after Rob died anyway.
The sound of a car backfiring startled Connor out of his reverie. Instantly, he was transported back to the little village he’d patrolled with Rob by his side, every one of his senses conjuring up a picture so real it hit him like a freight train, making him stagger back under the weight of it all. The click of the firing pin being cocked had him reaching for his gun, its weight comforting. Time slowed as he lined up the shot, the bullet passing through the chamber when he’d squeezed the trigger and finding its mark. The deep boom of his rifle and the clatter of the AK47s. The cries and screams of agony from his bullets. The dust in his eyes, kicked up by each bullet ricocheting, and the acrid smell of the cordite, so strong he could sometimes taste it for days.
The noises escalated—the hiss of the rocket propelled grenade followed by a thundering boom as it exploded, drowning out even the rushing of blood in Connor’s ears. He waited for the shockwave to hit him, but it never came. The pain didn’t either. The fear in the air—of extremists, of death, of living a life after the war—enveloped him, his body instantly switching to fight mode. The absolute and utter terror in which he’d lived, forced to face his mortality when he was on the wrong end of a weapon and fight for his life had his training kicking in—they’d taught him to win or be buried. There was blood everywhere, splatters on walls and in the dry, dusty dirt, pools of it spreading over the hard-packed soil, literally draining the life out of Rob. He lunged forward ready to strike, but instead, Connor tripped and hit a hard surface stopping him short. Blinking, his vision cleared. What the fuck? He was on his knees on the middle step, his guitar case having hit the front door when he fell.
“Oh, God. No,” he breathed, horrified at himself. He tried to suck in a breath, but he couldn’t. His vision darkened around the edges and his heart slammed in his chest.
Connor sagged, the fight draining out of him. What the fuck was he doing? There was no threat here. No, that wasn’t right. He was the danger. He wasn’t even fit to meet his friends again. He shouldn’t have gone there, shouldn’t have believed that he could re-enter civilian life. He was putting at risk the two people he’d give his life to protect. There was no way he’d do that. Connor pushed to his feet, picked up his guitar and turned, the weight of the world on his shoulders. He blew out a breath and took the first step away from Levi and Katy. They needed to be protected from him. They were better off without him. Knowing that, though, didn’t make it hurt any less.
The bang at the front door had Levi getting up to investigate. The sight before him shocked him to his core. Connor was unmistakeable, but the man he saw wasn’t the fun-filled, quick-to-laugh boy he’d known. No, the Connor walking away from him, not even slowing his stride when Levi called out, “Hey,” to him, was a shell of his former self. Even from behind he looked entirely defeated, beaten down. Lean shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets, head lowered, he took another step away. But his oldest friend—the man who took a piece of Levi with him when he’d joined the army six years ago—wasn’t supposed to arrive for another day.
Was he really real? Actually home? Nervous energy assailed him, excitement filling his veins. “Con?” he called, wonder in his voice. Connor stopped midstride, and Levi wanted to laugh and cry, to grab hold of the man before him and make him giggle like they’d done as children. Unable to help himself, he launched himself off the steps and reached out, grasping his elbow and drawing Connor to him.
When he turned, Levi’s breath caught. He was crushed by the sadness radiating from Connor—his normally imposing six-foot-five frame turned in on itself. The light in those deep, dark eyes had faded, his forehead marred by a deep crease. Melancholy surrounded him like a fog, squeezing the life out of him. The sight had a lump forming in Levi’s throat. Wishing he could take away Connor’s pain, all the evil he’d seen and lived through, Levi’s heart broke. His friend’s life had changed far too much over the years they’d been apart. His hair—a buzz cut—gave him a rough edge, highlighting the war machine the army had turned this gentle soul into. Anger filled him, mourning for the hardships Connor had endured while Levi lived the easy life.
“You’re here,” he murmured as he pulled his friend into a hug, crushing Connor in his grip. Lean muscle met his hands, unyielding even as Levi pulled him closer. Levi’s grip practically begged the other man to hug him back. Relief and the love borne of two decades of friendship overwhelmed him. It’d been far too long since he’d seen his best friend, since he could judge with his own eyes that he was safe. Levi didn’t let go until Con sagged against him and returned the embrace.
“I’m sorry,” Connor mumbled in his ear. “I need to go.”
“No,” he challenged. His friend was back with them, and this time, Levi wasn’t letting him disappear. Connor was going to stick around whether he liked it or not.
Levi loosened his hold and pulled back. Wrapping his fingers around Connor’s biceps, he assessed his friend. “We’ve missed you, Con. This is your home. You can’t leave. Hell, Katy’ll have my balls if you do.”
“Where is she?” He watched as Connor’s eyes flicked to the house and filled with something he didn’t recognize. Trepidation? Nerves, perhaps?
“Inside.” Levi pointed to the door. “You made it just in time. We’ve got Katy’s cousin Nick and his wife over for dinner.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll….” He trailed off. Eyes glazing over, Levi could see him slipping away from him. What horrors were pulling him back, drowning him?
“Con,” Levi prompted.
Connor looked down, not meeting Levi’s gaze as he spoke. “A car backfired and it took me back to one of the battles. Right into the thick of it.” The other man shook in his arms, and Levi held him tighter, drawing him back into his embrace.
“It’s okay, Con. You’re safe here.” Levi loosened his grip on Connor and squeezed his arms before dropping his hands. “Come on, you’re not leaving.” Levi motioned to the front door and smiled. Neither of them moved though. Levi could tell Connor still needed a moment before facing the others.
“You haven’t changed your aftershave,” Connor murmured, wonder evident in his voice. “In all these years, you’ve still got the same one.” He was shocked Con even knew the smell. Then again, it was always the small things his friend had noticed.
Levi’s cheeks heated as they walked toward the front steps. With a hand on the door, he smiled sheepishly, embarrassed at his own predictability, and ridiculously happy that Connor would remember something so insignificant. “What can I say? Katy thinks it suits me.” Truth be told, he just bought the same one—a blend of orange and cedar—whenever he needed a new bottle. He’d never even thought of changing it.
“Reminds me of our summers together as kids. Remember when we first started shaving and your dad got us the same kits?” Connor said as he smiled and reached up to pat Levi’s scruffy cheek. The stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave that morning was certainly thicker than the fuzz he had as a teenager, but he still couldn’t compete with Connor’s thicker stubble.
Levi threw his arm around Connor’s shoulder again, playfully rubbing the top of his head with his knuckles as he laughed. “How could I forget? Best days ever. Beach cricket and bonfires. God, my bed always had so much sand in it whenever we crashed. Mum used to go nuts at us more for trailing grit through the house than breaking curfew.” He’d always been close to Connor. They’d done all the important things together; his childhood was filled with memories of the two of them side by side. Then when Connor’s drunken father had disappeared without a trace, he’d just moved in, and Levi’s parents had fought it out with Child Services. There had never been a question of him staying; his parents had made sure that Connor never had to leave.
But things started to change in their final year of uni. Levi knew exactly what he wanted to do. He had the grand plan mapped out, and believe it or not, he’d managed to achieve most of the things he’d set out to do. But Connor was never so sure, and then bam, he dropped the bombshell that he was giving up his studies. It was like he was running from something, dashing away to join the army to fight a battle he’d never seemingly cared about before. Levi and Katy were left in his dust trail, waiting for him to come home to them. That was the worst thing about his being away—the waiting to hear, the never knowing where he was and whether he was safe. Levi’s need to know had turned into an obsession, religiously checking the Defence Force’s media releases every day and watching the news morning and night. Every day he didn’t hear of an injured or killed soldier filled him with a sense of relief, knowing they were one day closer to Connor eventually coming home. But the relief was always short-lived, knowing his best friend would be out there, doing God knew what the very next day.
To top it off, Levi still had no idea why Connor had left. It doesn’t matter. He’s here. He’s back. Giddy excitement filled him, and he couldn’t help but grin. It widened when Connor reflected his smile, his perfect white teeth a stark contrast to his deeply tanned skin. Levi pulled him closer, hugging him hard. “Welcome home, mate.”
“It’s good to be here, Lee. I missed you guys.”
Connor hefted his duffle bag up his shoulder, and Levi reached out to take it. It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen any other luggage. Connor only had his duffle and his guitar case, not that the presence of the guitar was a surprise—he never went anywhere without it. “Is this it?”
“Yeah. When you spend a few years on deployment, you only travel with the essentials. Apart from Dad’s car, this is everything I own.”
“Katy’s gonna have a field day taking you shopping.” Levi faked an exaggerated shudder. “Can you tee it up when I’m filming though? I’ve been exposed to that kind of torture before.”
“There’s this thing called the web. Great for shopping.” Levi couldn’t help but laugh at Connor’s playful patronizing.
Jumping back to his reference about filming, Connor asked, “How is work by the way?” as he leaned against the brick wall outside.
“Good. You got the pics we sent from the award ceremony, didn’t you?” Katy always made sure to update him every day. He’d often go to bed to find her sending a bunch of pics to Connor, emailing him with whatever they’d got up to that day. It was her way of letting him know they were waiting for him to come home.
“Yeah, looked like fun.”
“It was.” Levi nodded. “What about you? What do you think you’ll do now you’re out?”
“Honestly, I dunno. I’m gettin’ a new tat, and I’m gonna fix up my dad’s car so it’s running again. Then I s’pose I’ll find a place.” Connor shrugged and shook his head. “Maybe go back to school? I don’t exactly have many marketable civilian skills.”
“Well, I’m glad your tat is a top priority.” Levi laughed and pulled open the door.
Connor paused before entering and looked back at the driveway. Levi’s car was parked out there, together with Katy’s cute hatch and her cousin’s BMW. “Your bike in the garage? Show it to me later, yeah?”
He sighed. “Never did it up. It’s still sitting in the garage in pieces. The producers offered me a company car, so I drive that.” He pointed to the white sedan sitting in the drive. It was boring as shit, awful to drive and so not him, but it was also free.
“Huh,” Connor remarked. A bike was the one thing Levi had always dreamed of having, and sure, he’d bought the frame and most of the parts to put together a sick Harley, but he’d never done it, never managed to take the step of assembling it. Part of that was because of Connor. Levi could have easily sent it to a mechanic, but it was always something the two of them had planned on doing together.
But Connor had lived his life, not holding onto old dreams. Maybe Levi should have done the same. Levi was kind of disgusted with himself that he’d never even started fixing the bike, but every time he saw the parts in the garage, thought about starting it, he missed his best friend so damn much. It was easier avoiding it than facing the possibility that they’d never get the chance to do it together.
Levi held the door open, ushering Connor through first. He couldn’t help but admire the man who stepped past him. When he’d left, he was a boy. They both were. Connor had always been good-looking, always a ladies’ man, but he’d lost his baby face, and now that Levi had gotten over the shock of seeing his friend again, he could appreciate just how commanding he was. Dark features and a tall, lean frame, he moved with feline grace—almost like he prowled. And Levi was captivated, unable to tear his gaze away from his friend. God, it’s good to have him back.
“Everything okay?” Katy called out, poking her head into the hall. He smiled at the unmitigated glee that quickly overtook her shock upon seeing Connor. Then the whirlwind that was Katy as she sprinted up the hall hit. Dropping his guitar case off his shoulder, Levi watched as it hit the floor and Katy launched herself into Connor’s arms. She wrapped around him like a monkey, holding him tight as she whispered something in his ear. Connor towered over her, but wrapped in his arms, they were perfect together; the two most important people in his world. Her long dark hair, silky soft to the touch, was almost the same colour as Connor’s, and their tans were alike too. Levi knew from intimate experience that hers covered every inch of her body. Does Connor’s? Surprised at his train of thought, he focussed on Katy again. Her curves and those blue eyes, which sparkled with mirth, had drawn him in at first. She was, in his mind, the most beautiful woman on the planet, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d fallen hard and fast for her. As he’d gotten to know her, that love had strengthened. Her talent and zest for life, mixed with her spunky attitude livened up his soul. His cock didn’t complain either—she was a wildcat in bed, and he loved every minute they were together.
At first, Levi had been jealous of the ease of Connor and Katy’s friendship. Connor had never particularly liked any of the girls he’d dated previously—he’d begrudgingly put up with them, but never made much of an effort. Yet with Katy, it was different. The two of them had clicked and become fast friends. Levi recognized the same thing had happened when Connor befriended him as a kid—it was as if Connor was a sun and Levi had become snared in his orbit, the light from his cheeky personality illuminating Levi’s world. But it was different too—Katy had fallen for Levi, not Connor. Yet their connection was undeniable. It was an easy friendship, one that quickly morphed into the three of them becoming inseparable. It took a bit of adjusting after Connor had left, but his and Katy’s relationship was rock solid. Now that Connor was back, he selfishly hoped they’d pick up where they left off—that he’d have his best mate back. But Levi had to stay focussed in the present, not the distant past or where they were heading. He couldn’t, wouldn’t plan every minute detail of his life. If Katy taught him anything, it was to live life to the fullest.
Levi pushed the door closed and turned back to follow them into the living room. Connor had already made it halfway down the hall, arm in arm with his girl. Live in the now, dude. He smiled and quickened his step, not wanting to miss out on a thing.
Hanging back, Levi watched from the edge of the room as Connor looked around, taking in the renovations he and Katy had made to the living space of their little house. Everything had changed inside, but it wasn’t until about a year earlier when they’d finally hung all the pictures on the wall that it became home. Seeing all of his and Katy’s most memorable moments always made him grin. But for every photo of them together, there was another one of Connor—a few with him and his army brothers and sisters, his graduation from basic training, the last pic they’d taken together before he flew out for the first time, and the selfie they’d snapped lazing down on their favourite beach the last time he’d visited. That one—with arms wrapped around each other and bright smiles—held pride of place as the biggest photo in the middle of the wall. Levi remembered the day like it was yesterday.
“Smile,” Katy ordered as she sat down between them, still topless from her sun bathing. She was half sitting on his lap while leaning into Connor. And damn, the chemistry was flowing hard. Levi’s dick had been half-hard all day and now was no exception. Handing her phone to Connor—who had the longest reach of them all—she playfully squeezed Levi’s package as she innocently smiled at the camera and snuggled into their friend. Levi’s moan was followed by Connor’s rough intake of breath, and Levi’s dick pulsed harder.
“Done,” Connor murmured, his voice a rasp as he lowered the mobile. Katy looked at the picture and smiled, turning to Connor and brushing her hand over his face.
“You’ve got sand in your beard, boo.” The adoration in Connor’s eyes as he stared at Katy was obvious, even to Levi. The tender, lingering kiss Connor pressed to her lips had Levi’s heart skipping a beat. Every time he saw a similar moment between the two of them, it always roused the same reaction.
Startled out of their moment by a bird chirping, Connor jerked back, and Katy smiled sheepishly at Levi. He didn’t hesitate as he pressed his lips to Katy’s, teasing the seam of her lips with his tongue. It wasn’t staking his claim as it was a desire as deep as the oceans and as vast as the universe to connect them together again. She opened to him, and Levi deepened the kiss, making love to her mouth. Finally breaking the kiss, he turned to Connor. It surprised him that Connor hadn’t pulled away until he realized why—Levi held onto his shoulder, stroking his thumb along the smooth skin of Connor’s collarbone. Drawing him closer, Levi hugged them both tight, breathing in the smells of the ocean and summer, his lips ghosting over Connor’s cheek when he couldn’t hold on any longer.
That was the last time they’d seen Connor. And watching the look on his face, his gaze flipping between him and Katy, his smile soft, it was obvious that he remembered taking the photo too.
“You kept it,” he voiced to Katy, turning her face toward him with a finger under her chin. Wonder laced his tone. “Feels like yesterday and another lifetime ago all at the same time.”
“I never would have deleted it,” Katy replied, her arm still tightly wrapped around Connor’s waist. “Now come on, dinner’s ready.”
Remembering they had guests, Levi startled when Nick spoke. “Con?” Nick laughed and hugged his friend.
Emma reached out to shake Connor’s hand. The slight tremor Levi saw when Connor reciprocated made a knot twist hard in his gut. Emma’s smile was warm when she introduced herself adding, “So nice to meet you.”
“You too, Emma. I’m Connor.”
“Been a long time, Con.” Nick took him into a one-armed hug, worry written in his pulled together brows as he stepped back. “Bud, you okay? You’re shaking.”
“He had a flashback.” Levi explained as he wrapped his arm around Connor’s shoulder, silently supporting him. With Katy on one side of Connor and him on the other, Levi knew they were bracketing him, the three of them united, showing him they’d always support him. But that’s what they did—stood together strong. It’s what they’d always done. Even if Connor had left them and was facing demons in his own head because of the horrors he’d lived through, Connor had come back to them.
“Yeah, I have good days and bad ones. The memories kick my ass sometimes, but the counsellor I had before they discharged me helped. He referred me to someone local so I can keep going. I’ve got my first appointment coming up, so….”
“Boo, you’re exhausted.” Katy smiled down at Con, sitting half asleep on the couch. The pet name had started as a joke when Con had copped a busted up nail by slamming his thumb in the door of a car he’d been tinkering with. When Katy saw the Band-Aid around it, she’d teased him about having a boo boo, and it’d stuck.
“I’ve set you up in the spare room. Wanna come get settled?”
“Thanks, Cupcake.” He stood slowly, taking a moment to shake the sleep beginning to take over. “Lead the way.”
After she’d shown Con to his room, Katy entered the one she shared with Levi and closed the door gently. She leaned back against it, closing her eyes. She could sense her man close to her—he was always so warm, such a rock-solid strength. “He was hurt, Lee. His shoulder is all scarred up.” A sob hitched in her throat, and she leaned into Levi’s embrace.
“He’s here with us, and he’s safe now. We don’t have to be scared for him anymore.”
“I missed him, babe. I know it sounds ridiculous, but a part of me was missing when he was gone.” Levi smiled softly at her, and Katy knew she’d just voiced exactly what her boyfriend had thought so many times before. Levi had taken Con’s enlistment hard. He’d grieved for months for his best friend, and it hurt her watching him missing his partner in crime so desperately. They’d been inseparable for such a long part of their lives that suddenly apart, Katy knew he’d felt alone, lonely, even though their relationship was strong.
All her friends were getting married—it was all they talked about. They’d asked her time and again why Levi hadn’t proposed, why she wasn’t pushing him. It only took one of them to see the wall of photos in their living room to have a go at Levi saying that there were three people in their relationship rather than two. Katy had brushed it off. She was never in competition with Connor for Levi’s affection; it’d never been like that between them. How could she be jealous that a piece of Levi’s heart was missing, gone with the man who was his childhood best friend? In the short time she’d known Con, he’d captured her heart too. She loved him as much as Levi did, and the countless emails they’d shared, secrets they’d revealed, and fears they’d spoken of had strengthened that friendship over the years.
And now the light in Levi’s eyes was back. The man holding her wasn’t worrying anymore. He wasn’t scared that his best friend could easily die by the enemy’s hand. Levi had come to life again in those few hours since Con had arrived, and the joy of seeing it made her heart explode with love for her man.
She cupped his face, and he pinned her against the door, kissing her deeply. A slow melding of their mouths, while he undressed and worshipped every inch of her body over and over again, had Katy breathing hard, quickly taking her to the knife’s edge of bliss. Sensation ricocheted around her body, stealing her breath. Levi down on his knees, his gaze filled with pent-up desire and need, had Katy catapulting off the edge. She couldn’t keep her eyes open as her orgasm washed over her. Moaning Levi’s name, she floated as her heartbeat thundered in her veins, her breath sawing in and out of her lungs. The endorphins crashed around in her body, reviving her orgasm when Levi lifted and pressed into her in one slow stroke.
Her second orgasm was a slow burn, consuming her as it went on and on. Levi was right there with her, stilling as he found his own ecstasy. Grunting, he pressed his face against her shoulder, brushing his lips over her collarbone. It made her shiver, and when he did it again, she laughed.
Carrying her, Levi staggered towards the bed, and they collapsed on it, a tangle of sweaty, satiated limbs. Curled around her, Levi was soon fast asleep, but it didn’t come as easily for Katy. Her body still tingling, she lay awake thinking about the man in their guest room and the scars marring his shoulder and back. He’d never told them he was injured, and it came as a shock seeing the angry red lines when he’d peeled off his snug black T-shirt. Her heart broke knowing neither she nor Levi could have helped him. Had he been in hospital? How long had he suffered in pain? She knew he suffered from PTSD; he’d told them that was the reason he’d been discharged. But seeing the physical signs as well as how shaken up he was after his flashback, had every instinct telling her that their friend, their brave, loyal warrior needed them more than ever.
Katy jolted awake, her body suddenly on high alert. Blinking her tired eyes and waiting for her sleep-addled brain to catch up to her tense muscles, she heard the noise again. Groans and mumbles. Is it Con? “No, Rob, stay with me. Keep focussed on me. Come on, open your eyes. Stay with me.” His pained sobs were getting louder and more distressed, crying out, “No, no, no, buddy, no.”
She threw off the covers and shook Levi awake. “Lee, babe, get up. Con’s having a nightmare.” It only took him a moment before he launched out of bed, pulling a pair of boxer briefs from his drawer and tossing Katy his T-shirt that lay discarded on the floor. Dashing into the hallway, they were both still pulling on their clothes as Levi twisted the knob and stumbled into Connor’s room.
Katy flicked on the lamp and sat down on the bed, running her fingertips down Con’s injured arm. Drenched in sweat, the sheet tangled around his naked hips, Connor tossed and turned.
“Con, you’re safe. You’re home. Wake up, boo,” Katy crooned, fighting back tears. Seeing him like this destroyed her, ravaged her heart like the bloodied aftermath of a battle. Levi sat down on the other side of the bed, and gently shook him awake. The pain etched on Levi’s features was as deep as Con’s anguish. She couldn’t erase his memories, but she would do everything in her power to help him heal. Katy gently wiped the tears staining his cheeks with her thumbs and Con blinked open his eyes.
In the lamplight, she saw his pupils blown with pain and fear as Con looked sightlessly around. His muscles were locked tight, and tension radiated from him as he struggled to get up, fighting their gentle touches. Katy understood in that moment how much his fight-or-flight impulse had kept him safe. Even half awake, his body was primed to attack whoever stood in the way of his survival. But she wasn’t scared of him. She didn’t see him as dangerous, or broken. No, this was Con, their Connor. Levi laid a steadying hand on Con’s chest, not holding him down, just connecting them together while she kept touching him, continued speaking softly to him. Letting her gentle caresses bring him fully awake, it took a moment for Con to focus on her. And when he did, Katy’s heart stuttered. His heartache was right there, visible in the slumped set of his shoulders, his watery eyes. His vulnerability—so different from the strength of her soldier—was like a knife to her heart. She didn’t hesitate as she took him into her arms. “It’s okay, boo. It’s over. We’ve got you.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” he breathed, hugging her hard. Levi’s strong arms wound around both of them, protecting them in his embrace as Con’s chest heaved, his heart hammering against Katy’s ribs while he cried on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through Con’s spiky hair doing the only thing she could while his tears fell—she comforted him. Slowly, he settled, but she didn’t stop playing with his hair. Levi’s arms still around them both and her ministrations had Con’s tense muscles slowly relaxing.
“Lie down, boo. I’ll stay with you until you’re asleep,” Katy whispered to him.
“We both will, Con. You’re home now, we’re here for you,” Levi rumbled, his voice still sleep roughened.
“I’m sorry.” Con shook his head. Katy didn’t understand why he kept apologizing. How could he be worried about waking them? “I didn’t want to stick you with my problems, but I was being selfish. I should have stayed away.”
“We’re here for you, Con. You aren’t alone anymore.” Levi rubbed his hand over Con’s shoulders. The remaining tension melted from the other man’s body, leaving him trembling in Katy’s arms.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” she probed gently, kissing his temple. His head against her shoulder, his big body curled around hers, he stiffened when she asked the question.
“I can’t tonight, Cupcake.” He shook his head and wiped his eyes again. “It’s too raw.”
Levi rubbed the other man’s arms, soothing him. “Close your eyes, Con. Get some sleep. We’ll stay as long as you want.”
Con laid down and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. But he looked like a deer in headlights, terrified to close his eyes. She knew she had to be strong for him, but she couldn’t hold back her tears. She was so very grateful he’d come back to them. But he was hurting, and seeing it so raw and unfiltered, ripped her heart open, leaving a great gushing wound there. She wanted to share his pain, to relieve some of his burden. But can I? Katy curled into his warm body, resting her head on his shoulder, petting his chest, giving him what little comfort she could. She was on top of the sheet, Con under. Levi was the same—stretched out on the other side of him above the covers. She caught Levi’s eye and smiled sadly as he kept a hand on Con’s shoulder.