S omething was up, but whatever it was, Katy wasn’t talking. She’d sent him a cryptic message about making sure he was home by six because Connor would be there. Like he was a damn teenaged girl at a One Direction concert—or whoever the teeny boppers were listening too now that they’d split up (and Levi wouldn’t admit to liking any of Louis, Harry, Zayne, Niall or Liam’s songs)—giddy excitement had filled him at the news. But for some reason, Katy wasn’t happy.
The knock on the door had his girlfriend stomping down the hall to answer it. “Hey,” he heard Connor greet her. He couldn’t hear Katy’s response, but from her mood, he could just imagine her standing at the door, arms crossed with a scowl on her face and motioning with a tilt of her head for Connor to come in. Levi grinned. His girl was a firecracker.
“How are you feeling?” Connor asked tentatively as they entered the room. Sure enough, Katy wore a scowl and still had her arms crossed over her chest, but his eyes were drawn to the man behind her. The shackles around his heart loosened a little. Seeing him, being in the same room as Connor had Levi desperate to go to him. Relief and something a lot stronger flooded through him, the butterflies in his belly taking flight. Levi had the crazy urge to trace his fingertips along the beard his friend had grown, to smell his scent again, to just be close to him. He’d never wanted to touch another man so much.
Katy sighed and answered. “I’m fine.” She gave him a small smile. “It didn’t take long to feel better once I got rid of the fever.”
“Good, I’m glad.” Their conversation was strained, and Levi was clueless as to why. He hated being on the outside, but considering the tension, he was glad he was.
“Hey, mate,” Levi greeted him. Trying desperately to come across as casual, he pulled two beers out the fridge. “We missed you around here.”
“Thanks.” Connor held up the bottle in a toast when Levi passed it to him and turned to Katy when she started speaking.
“Listen, about today, I’m sorry. It wasn’t right for me to yell at you. You don’t have to answer to me, but I was hurt.”
Connor nodded and reached for her hand. Levi took in the sight of them together, and his heart stuttered. The two most important people in his world stood before him. Sure, Levi would kick Connor’s arse for whatever he’d done to hurt Katy later, but at present, he wanted his two people to fix whatever it was between them. He needed them to.
“I haven’t handled things well at all. I should have told you, talked to you about what happened between Miranda and me. I didn’t mean for you to worry. I just needed some space.”
“You can talk to us.” Levi reached out and punched Connor lightly on the arm. It was either that or hug him tightly, and Levi’s emotions were riding far too close to the surface for him to do that. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.” Connor sighed and leaned against the back of the couch. “It just hurts.”
“What did that bitch do to you?” Katy demanded. Levi bit back a grin. He could just imagine the dah, dah, daaah sound effect as the plot thickened.
“No, it’s entirely my fault. Miranda didn’t do anything wrong—”
“She kicked you out, Connor.” She what?
“Miranda was great. Things were great, right up until I yelled out the wrong name when we were… getting intimate.”
“Whose name?” Levi asked, a sick desire coiling in his gut for it to have been Katy’s. An even quieter voice in the back of his head wanted it to be him.
“That doesn’t matter, but I hurt her. She was justified in kicking me out and calling me whatever the hell names she’s called me.”
“Why didn’t you come home?” Levi asked, curious to know the answer, but trepidatious at the same time.
“You two were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.” With Connor unable to look at either one of them in the eye, it didn’t take a genius to know he was bullshitting.
Katy called him out on it. “Connor, this is your home too. There wasn’t anything that would have been important enough to stop us being there for you.”
“Even a session with your new toys?”
“You knew about that?” Levi stuttered, embarrassment racing through his veins. “Wait, she kicked you out last weekend? Where the hell have you been?”
“Nick and Em’s,” Katy supplied. Shock had Levi staggering back to lean against the back of the kitchen table chair in their open-plan living room.
“I didn’t want to interrupt your night with my latest fuck up.”
“You wouldn’t have interrupted much,” Levi admitted sheepishly.
“What, you didn’t find anything you liked?” he asked Katy. “From what Addy told me, she has a great range in that suitcase she carries around with her.”
“We got a few things.” Levi shrugged. It was an eye-opening experience and Levi hadn’t been able to get the butt plug out of his mind since he’d bought it, but what it meant scared him more than he thought possible. How could he admit to Katy that he hadn’t fantasized about pressing it between her curvalicious ass, but into Connor’s tight hole.
“That’s good. Isn’t it?”
“Never mind us,” Katy shot him a worried look. She was right, there were other things they needed to be concerned about other than the butt plug burning a hole in his bedside table drawer. “Con you said you needed some space. Talk to us. We wanna help.”
“I can’t stay here anymore. I need to move away.”
“Okay, so find a place.” Levi shrugged, feigning how simple the solution was. But his heart told him it was something far more than that. “We’ll help you get settled wherever you wanna go.”
Connor sighed and shook his head. Levi’s heart stopped. Oh God, no. “I’m thinking of moving away from the Coast. Maybe Melbourne, but I haven’t decided.”
“What? No,” Katy breathed, clamping a hand over her mouth and Levi instantly moved towards her, needing her comfort. He was operating on autopilot, as if he was having an out-of-body experience. He couldn’t bear the thought that his best mate would be on the opposite side of the country to him, too far away to really hang with.
“I can’t stay here,” Connor pleaded for his understanding. The broken-hearted look on his face tore at Levi’s heart. Devastated him. The dark circles under Connor’s eyes made him look tired, the bloodshot whites giving away the rough time he’d had. Is it the nightmares? Or something more? He didn’t have his ramrod straight posture anymore either. Levi had seen it in his stance the last few times they’d been together. His shoulders were slumped and his hair, longer than usual curls, was a mess, like he’d been running his fingers through it in frustration.
“Why?” Levi asked, hoping he was doing a better job of masking his pain than both Connor and Katy were doing. He needed to be strong for them, to pick up the pieces when their lives turned to shit. Whatever was about to go down had the power to destroy them. Levi just hoped that he could hold it together long enough to keep them intact.
“Because my insides feel like they’re being eviscerated. I can’t live with my heart being broken anymore. I need to move on, to forget.”
Katy pulled out of his embrace and went to Connor, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her head in his chest. The knife through Levi’s heart twisted. He couldn’t lose Connor again. It’d slay him. But Connor was hurting so bad. Every protective instinct in Levi reared its head. He needed to fix things for all of them, to give him something only he and Katy could give to Connor, even if it was only for one night.
He stepped up behind Katy and kissed the side of her throat before wrapping a hand around the nape of Connor’s neck, bringing him close. Enveloping his two people in his arms, a sense of rightness swept through Levi. “Please don’t leave, Con,” he begged, his voice cracking on his friend’s name.
Levi and Katy moved as one, Katy tugging on Connor’s snug black tee until he bent and Levi squeezing his shoulder, massaging the lean muscle there. When Katy brushed her lips against Connor’s, electricity arced between the three of them. Levi sucked in a breath, balling his hand into a fist at Connor’s nape to stop the instinct screaming at him to pull him in for a kiss like the one he was watching.
“Katy,” Connor groaned, his voice almost breaking on the word. A haunted look settled on his face as he pushed back with visible effort, before shoving a hand through his hair. His dark eyes were troubled, his next words coming out as an anguished whisper. “I can’t.”
Levi’s heart broke for what his best mate was going through, yet at the same time, determination settled through him. He could help. Both of them could. “It’s okay, Con. Take what she’s willing to give.”
“What?” Con snapped his bewildered eyes up, meeting Levi’s gaze.
Conviction spurred Levi on. This was right—the three of them together—and he wasn’t going to sit back and hope anymore. Levi was taking the bull by the horns. “Katy needs you.” I need you.
Katy had a white knuckled grip on Connor’s shirt, clutching desperately to him. Levi was doing a little of it himself—holding tight to his best friend. “Kiss her,” Levi barely whispered. He bit back a moan when Connor slid his arm around Levi’s waist, bringing him into a three-way embrace. Their gazes locked and Levi found himself fighting his instincts again. He couldn’t do it. Could he? No. Fear and arousal coursed through him, creating this crazy cacophony of noise in his head—every thought, all the uncertainty about what his attraction meant for them circled through him like a vortex. Connor could usually read him like an open book; Levi hoped he couldn’t this time because he was sure Connor would be ashamed of how scared he was. Instead, Connor leaned down and touched his lips to Katy’s, tentative at first, barely meeting them for small tender pecks until Katy swiped her tongue along Connor’s bottom lip and he opened to her.
Levi’s heart warmed. Knowing he’d helped them find each other could have brought him to his knees, but instead, he loved his girl even more. She was so damn brave, so full of love and life—she was who Connor needed. Levi needed to be closer to them, needed to be connected in the only way he knew how. He trailed his lips along Katy’s throat in a whisper-soft kiss. The scent of chocolate and vanilla filled his senses, mixed with something spicier—Connor—and his need turned ravenous. Licking and sucking on the column of Katy’s neck, Levi walked his fingers under the waistband of her tank and slipped it up. Connor’s hand brushed his own, and the other man pulled away from Katy, their gazes colliding once more. Whatever Connor read in his eyes this time had all hesitation evaporating, and he let go of his grip on Levi to whip off Katy’s shirt. Standing topless between them, Katy’s tanned skin against the black of Connor’s shirt had Levi growling. Oh fuck yes.
“Bedroom. Now,” Levi ordered, palming Katy’s firm breast and Connor’s even firmer ass. The other man groaned, punching his hips forward. The denim of his well-worn jeans was soft under Levi’s touch, but the muscle underneath it was anything but. Levi shuddered, marvelling at the difference between the two people before him—so soft, so curvy and strong and hard. It flipped a switch in him and had him growling commands at them, something he’d never done with Katy. But Connor responded to it, lifting Katy effortlessly without breaking their kiss. With her legs wrapped around his waist, Connor carried Katy to the front of the house, leaving Levi to follow behind. He stared at their form together, committing every inch of their bodies to his memory.
“Con, put her down so I can undress you both.” Katy’s moan had Levi smirking, and Connor’s hum had him adjusting himself. His cock was so damn hard, it could hammer nails. But the spark between them that was finally being given oxygen to feed the flame wasn’t about pleasing Levi, and he’d seek no relief from the two people before him. They needed to focus on each other.
As Katy slipped her legs down Connor’s waist, Levi grasped the other man’s tee and drew it up over his body. He couldn’t help letting the backs of his fingers brush against Connor’s lean muscle. But as much as he yearned to go further, to touch and caress, to kiss and love on the other man, fear stopped him cold. Focus on Katy and Connor, not me.
Katy dropped kisses down Connor’s sternum and Levi moved behind the other man. The scars that marred his shoulder drew Levi in. He touched them, running his fingertips over the angry red lines. He remembered the taste of that skin, knew without a doubt that the hazy dream he’d had of rubbing against Connor and biting him had been real. Trailing his fingers down to his waist Levi reached for Connor’s fly. Leaning in close Levi found the button and bit down on his lip to stop himself from nipping Connor’s shoulder again. Levi sucked in a deep breath filled with the other man’s scent. Ah God. Eyes sliding closed, Levi prayed to whatever deity that might be listening, to stop him from blowing his load in the next thirty seconds.
Levi fell to his knees and unlaced Connor’s black Chucks, yanking them off and tossing them aside before reaching up to Connor’s hips. Long, strong legs and an arse that begged to be kissed and nibbled on before him, Levi ground his teeth together and curled his fingers under the waistband, slipping his jeans down. He drank in Connor’s bright blue boxer shorts curving around that arse. Unable to tear his gaze away, he revealed inch after inch of tanned skin and dark hair. Connor was so different to Katy, but Levi was enraptured. Muscles flexed before him, and after sending Connor’s jeans the same way as his shoes, Levi reached up for his boxer shorts. There was no slow reveal this time. Levi didn’t even watch as they came off—he couldn’t bear the torture of being so close yet having to hold himself back. Leaving Connor’s underwear around his ankles, he stood and returned to his position behind Katy. He had to get back to safe ground—something, anything—or he’d be bending Connor over and sliding in deep. And wouldn’t that be the end of their friendship! Connor would knock him on his arse and Katy would probably give him his marching orders.
Shaking the idea from his head, Levi concentrated once again on Katy. She was pressed tightly against Connor, her arms wound around his waist. His friend had one of his hands tangled in Katy’s hair, cupping the back of her head as he made love to her mouth with his own. The other caressed her breast, worshipping her tenderly. Levi pressed his lips to Katy’s shoulder and snuck his tongue out to taste her. He could never get enough of her sweet skin. Moaning quietly, Levi ran his calloused hands down her sides, following the dip of her waist down to the flare of her hips and to her low-slung shorts. God, he loved every inch of her, every perfect piece of her inside and out. Pushing her shorts off her hips, they dropped to the floor, but the sight didn’t capture his attention. No, that was snagged by Katy’s hips undulating slowly as she rocked her pussy—still covered in the sexiest black satin scrap of material that he’d ever seen—against Connor’s rigid length. Fuck me sideways, his piercing is so damn hot. The glint of the silver ring had Levi’s concentration riveted. Peering over Katy’s shoulder, staring at his best friend’s junk, Levi was abso-freaking-lutely salivating. His cock pulsing and ready to blow with just the sight of the two of them near nude together had Levi grinding his hips against Katy, instinctively trying to relieve the pressure in his balls. He had to get her underwear off. He grasped the material at her hips, but Connor’s hand on his stopped him short.
“Let me do that. Please, Lee,” Con begged. Levi released his hands and dropped an open-mouthed kiss on Katy’s shoulder before pointing to the bed.
“Get on it. I wanna watch you make love to her.” Levi’s command, the best attempt he could muster at holding himself back, came out as a growl. He went to lean against the wall, distancing himself from them. If he got any closer, there was no way he’d be able to stop.
“No.” Katy halted him in his tracks. “I want you with us.” She held out her hand to him, but he shook his head.
“No, babe, not this time. You’re all Connor’s tonight. Next time we’ll share you.”
“Fuuuck,” his friend groaned as he grasped the base of his cock and squeezed, closing his eyes and looking every bit as pained as Levi. Katy moved back onto the bed and stretched out, parting her legs as her head hit the pillow. Connor crawled over her and hovered, gazing at Katy with a look so full of love it stole Levi’s breath. Lowering until his body blanketed hers, Connor kissed her. For long moments he sipped from her mouth, urgent yet tender, his hands mapping every inch of her like he was memorizing her curves.
Connor moved his mouth to her throat and caressed her, licking and nibbling, worshipping her. Levi moaned and stroked himself through his workout shorts. He was painfully hard and so damn close already it wasn’t funny. He was seriously going to embarrass himself before he even pulled his dick out. Watching Connor draw Katy’s fingertips into his mouth sucking and biting on each of the pads, then giving her a wicked smile and burying his face in her breasts had Levi shuddering.
“You’re perfect, every inch of you, Cupcake,” he murmured, before latching onto one of her nipples, teasing it with his tongue and teeth. Watching the fluid thrusts of Connor’s hips as he stroked himself against Katy’s leg, had Levi wishing it were him. And when Katy gasped and arched her back, grinding against the leg he had pressed between hers, Levi moaned too. Katy cried out, and Levi had to curl his fingers around the base of his cock, squeezing hard, desperately trying to stop himself from busting a nut too early.
Connor had slid down her body, running the tip of his nose along the line of her G-string, sneaking his tongue out to lick her through the satiny material. Katy looked over at him, their eyes locking for a moment before his gaze was drawn to Connor again. Watching the two of them together was the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Beauty and strength in both of them, they were a perfect fit. “She’s so wet, so ready for me, Lee,” Connor murmured, wonder in his tone as he turned to watch Levi slowly jacking off. Levi’s cock pulsed when he saw Connor’s nostrils flare, the gravelly tone when he spoke to Katy turning him on even more. “Lee’s over there all by himself, stroking his cock. You want him on the bed with us? You wanna touch him too?”
“Yes,” she cried out, and Levi couldn’t resist her. He used one hand to strip off his shorts and underwear, kicking them off in one hit, while he reached behind his head with the other and tugged at the neckline of his tee. Completely naked, he climbed onto the bed and glued himself to Katy’s side, getting as close to them as possible without going a step too far. Connor was already pulling her underwear down her legs, tossing them haphazardly to the side.
Connor dropped his mouth onto her and Katy visibly shuddered. With a talented tongue and deft fingers, he took her to the edge fast, hitting every hot button Katy had. It was enthralling, so damn sexy to watch the other man with his girl. Did that make him twisted? Probably. Anyone else and there’d be hell to pay, but with Connor, it was right, almost inevitable that they’d end up there together.
When Katy’s hand closed around Levi’s cock, jacking him slowly, Levi was done for, barrelling towards an orgasm that he so desperately wanted to hold off from. “Oh damn, I’m too close,” he moaned, shifting his hips back and out of Katy’s reach.
“I can feel your pussy fluttering around my tongue,” Connor rasped on a moan. The raw need in his voice had Levi’s dick pulsing. He sounded just as overcome, just as drunk on desire as Levi was. “Ride me, Cupcake. Come on my face so I can love you.” The dirty words coming out of that sexy-as-fuck mouth had Levi shuddering, the tingle in his spine growing.
“Lee,” Katy called out reaching blindly for him. “I want your cock in my mouth.”
Levi hissed, clamping his fingers around his cock like a vice. Grinding his teeth together, he growled, “Let Con hear you scream his name when you come.”
“Nghunhn,” Con grunted as Katy went rigid. Levi knew the feeling, had experienced the tight clench of her inner muscles clamping down on him as she came. Her keening cry as she thrust her hips, riding out her orgasm had Levi tipping over the edge. Two passes over his cock with his precum-slicked fist and he shot his load, emptying himself onto her flat stomach. Sensation whited out, enveloping him in a tingling rush from head to toe that blinded him with its ferocity. Levi’s grunts mixed with Katy’s higher-pitched moans and Connor’s groans to create a symphony that made his orgasm linger, lasting longer than ever before. When Levi peeled his eyes away from the ecstasy written on Katy’s face, he looked over at Connor, to see him watching them with an intensity that had Levi itching to reach over and drag him on top of them. Instead, Connor shifted off the bed, moving to his jeans and getting the condom out of his wallet.
Sheepishly, he explained while rolling it down his length, “It’s been in here for a while. It’s still good though.” After taking a deep breath and blowing out, he added, “There’s always a risk of it tearing with my piercing.”
“Get up here, Connor,” Katy growled, making Connor tilt one side of his mouth up in a smirk.
“So fuckin’ sassy,” Levi murmured with a smile.
Connor settled between her legs and kissed her slowly again, mashing the evidence of Levi’s orgasm between them. Levi reached out and grasped Katy’s hand. It was about the only movement he could make after coming as hard as he did.
“Please, Con. I need you,” she whispered.
“Me too, Cupcake.” Connor lined up and pressed inside her silky folds, causing Katy to gasp and Levi’s cock to twitch. They were perfect together, so damn beautiful that Levi stared at the point they joined, wanting to remember every minute detail. There was no way he and Katy would ever be the same together again. Levi prayed that Connor would stick around—losing him might mean the end of everything he held dear.
He rocked slowly in her. There was no animalistic fucking going on; it was all fluid grace. Connor made love to her, fusing them together so completely it left Levi in no doubt that Connor had loved Katy for years. His whispered sweet nothings were meant for her ears alone—something just for the two of them. And that was more than fine with Levi. His heart swelled knowing the bond he’d seen grow had finally morphed into the one thing they’d both wanted, but had never taken.
“Cupcake, I’m close. Come with me.” She didn’t answer; instead, she tightened her hold on him, gasping as she went rigid again. His glides into her turned choppy, his breath stuttering as he cried out and rode the bliss of his orgasm. Watching them come together was by far the most beautiful, sensual thing he’d ever seen. The only thing better was watching the two of them fall asleep together, Connor the big spoon as Katy used his shoulder as a pillow.
*****
He woke spooning Katy, sharing the pillow with her, while Connor lay on her other side holding her close as he ran his fingers through her hair. Levi could see the remnants of their midnight snack sitting on the side table behind his friend, their wine glasses with the empty bottle no doubt still on the floor.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Morning.” Connor’s smile was relaxed, content for the first time in a long time. The lines on his forehead were gone; instead, he wore a sleepy, happy smile.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “You?”
Levi closed his eyes and laid there quietly thinking about what the change the night before would mean to his and Katy’s relationship, to the bond that each of them had with Connor, and he smiled. Wanting Connor to be a part of them, for Levi to be able to express what he’d ached for, was something he’d struggled to admit to himself, but their night together was better than he’d ever dared hope for. It was everything he’d ever wanted. Well, almost everything. But he wasn’t quite ready to take that step—he might not ever be. “I’m good too.”
Connor raking his fingers through Katy’s hair didn’t stop, except now his fingers lingered, brushing them against Levi’s chest before starting again at the top of her head. Each touch sent a jolt of lightning through Levi. He really did want this, but he couldn’t help think of how Connor had left them before, and how he was just about to do it to them again.
“Why’d you run?” Levi asked softly.
“What? I didn’t run.” At Connor’s defensive response, Levi opened his eyes and raised one eyebrow. “Yeah, okay. But it’s not like I went far. I just needed some time.”
“You disappeared for six years. You had leave but only came back once, and you didn’t tell us when you were taking it the other times so we could meet you. You ran.”
“You’re right.” He sighed. “I was in love with someone, and it hurt too much to see her happy with another man. And it wasn’t like I had anyone special in my life to miss me.” His shrug infuriated Levi.
“Are you kidding me?” he spat in a much too loud whisper. “That’s what you thought?” He jabbed his friend in the shoulder and blew out a frustrated breath. Tempering his voice back to a level that wouldn’t wake Katy, he added, “Mate, you were special to Katy. And you’re my best mate. You’re special to both of us.”
Connor shook his head, the lines on his forehead appearing again. The light dimmed from his eyes before Connor looked away. “You two are special to each other. I’ve always been the tag along.”
The memory of a young, scared Connor resurfaced. Those days when he didn’t know what’d happened to his dad, when Child Services were trying to take him away and Levi’s parents had fought to keep him. Alone and unknowingly rejected by his aunt and uncle in the UK—Dr Stratford and his wife were apparently far too good to have their orphan nephew living with them—Levi had begged his parents to let his friend stay. He’d never forget his mum’s words, “He’s our family, Levi. Maybe not by blood, but that doesn’t matter. Family doesn’t give up on each other, and we aren’t letting him go. Hold tight to him, okay, baby.” Levi wanted to reach out and caress Connor’s shoulder, but he didn’t. Holding tight hadn’t worked before, maybe this time Connor needed to want to stay. “Is that what you think now? After last night?”
Connor shook his head, his gaze imploring. “You two’ll always have each other and I’ll still be jackin’ off in the spare room if I stay.”
Knowing he couldn’t say anything to keep Connor there was like a dagger piercing his heart. “You’re still leaving.”
“I don’t see any other choice. What happened last night…” He scrubbed a hand over his face and blew out a breath. “It’s not like we can keep going. You’ve got your job, and you guys are meant to be together.” Frustration laced his words, but he knew Connor well enough to know that there was no changing the man’s mind once he’d made it up. And whatever the result, Connor would follow it through. A longing as deep and fathomless as the oceans filled Levi. He wanted his friend close, needed him there. But my job—it wouldn’t be around for long if news of our threesome ever saw the light of day… yeah, there is that.
“It was her all those years ago, wasn’t it? You fell in love with Katy.”
Connor started to shake his head in denial, but the fight left him when he could no longer meet Levi’s gaze. Raising his eyes back up, he asked, “What gave it away?”
Levi huffed out a quiet laugh. “Your eyes follow her around the room like a freakin’ puppy dog. And instead of wild monkey sex, you made love to her last night.”
Connor flicked his gaze down to Katy and the adoration pouring off him made Levi want to wrap him in a hug and never let go. Connor’s whispered words struck a chord with Levi. “She’s easy to love.”
Levi grasped Connor’s wrist, stopping his motion through her hair. “Is that why you’re running again? Because you think you can’t have her?”
“Like I said, you two are the couple here. I’m the third wheel. You aren’t gonna want me here forever—you’ll wanna get married and have kids and, what… I’ll be the pathetic, creepy mate the kids call uncle who lives in the spare room and is in love with their mum?”
“You’re an idiot sometimes, you know that? She loves you too.” The silence lingered between them, their gazes colliding. Levi could see Connor wanted to add something more. Hell, there was something he wanted to say too—what about me? Are you in love with me? Do you want me like I want you? But the words remained unspoken. He wasn’t brave enough to admit them out loud. Levi laid there for long minutes, just looking, taking in his fill of Connor and Katy, watching as Connor gently kissed her forehead, as the lazy smile once again appeared.
“Mmm,” Katy sighed, reaching out to Connor as she snuggled back against Levi, connecting them from chest to knee. “Last night wasn’t a dream, was it?”
“No, Cupcake,” Connor murmured. “It wasn’t. Are you okay with what happened?”
“Hell yeah.” Katy laughed a husky, sleepy laugh before Connor tilted her face up to him and captured her lips in a slow kiss. “I’m happy, but I’m also late for work. Again. I need to get my arse outta bed.” Wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, she pulled Connor’s face to hers again and kissed him hard and fast. That sense of longing filled Levi again, pulsing through his body.
Levi then watched with amusement as she rolled over to him, climbing him like a cat. He went willingly onto his back, snaking his arms around her body to hold her close while she teased his lips with a barely-there kiss.
“I probably reek of sex, but I’m so late.” Katy slipped off him and, naked, she dashed out the room. Her chef’s whites, together with most of their other clothes were sitting in the laundry room. Five minutes later, she was ready and running out the door, slamming it in her wake.
“Damn, she’s like a hurricane when she’s late.” Connor grinned and raised his arms above his head, arching his back as he stretched out.
“You can say that again,” Levi’s laugh got caught in his throat as he swallowed his tongue, and stared at the rippling lean muscles of Connor’s abs and that delicious vee which led to a patch of dark hair nestling his package. Before his semi gave him away, he swung his legs off the bed and onto the hardwood floor. Connor climbed over to his side and stepped off the bed at the same time as Levi, but stumbled, falling straight into his arms. Reflexively, Levi hugged Connor close, holding the other man to his body.
“Ow shit, pins and needles.” Connor shook out his foot, and they looked up together, their gazes locking. So close and both completely naked, the air seemed to get sucked out of the room. The other man’s lips were barely a couple of inches away, begging him to sample them. But that was the problem. Once he’d had a taste, Levi wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop. As much as Levi wanted that, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it, wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready. And where did that leave Katy? He’d never—absolutely no question, ever—leave her feeling like she wasn’t enough for him. So Levi did what he did best—he deflected.
“Thanks, Con. For making her happy, I mean.” He smiled at his friend and resisted the temptation to stroke his hand down Connor’s face. “I’m stoked it’s you she fell for. Anyone else and I’d have to walk away. That’d kill me.”
Connor leaned his forehead against Levi’s and squeezed his hips. “You really think she’s fallen for me?” The vulnerability in his tone wrecked Levi.
“Yeah, she’s loved you forever. I didn’t understand it while you were gone, but seeing her now—with you around—I know it.”
Connor exhaled, the stress visibly leaving his body as his shoulders relaxed. He nestled his head against Levi’s shoulder, hugging him tighter. The soft stubble on Connor’s cheek had Levi pulling him closer, while the heady mixture of Connor’s spicy aftershave and sex filled him with want. Levi breathed him in, savouring his unique smell. He had to give him this—the reassurance that he wasn’t alone, that Katy needed him too. That I need him. If only I wasn’t such a pussy. Their nudity, the contact between the two of them wasn’t about sex, it was comfort. It was love.
Levi kissed his forehead and whispered, “Please stay.” He ran his hands down his friend’s bare back and snaking his arms around Connor’s waist, he hugged him close in exactly the way he’d wanted to do in bed.
Connor closed his eyes and returned his head to Levi’s shoulder. His breaths were ragged, his voice breaking on the last of his whispered words. “I don’t wanna go.”
Connor stepped out of the steaming shower he’d escaped to after whatever the hell had gone down between him and Levi earlier. One minute he’d been trying to stand and the next he’d been in Levi’s arms. And hearing Levi beg him to stay, tell him that Katy loved him had pushed him to the edge. He’d wanted it, damn well craved it. He’d wished desperately that it could be a reality, but could it really? He’d been worried about everyone’s judgement, had told himself that it’d never work. How had anything changed? It hadn’t. Instead, he’d given into temptation. He was scared—terrified that their affair would leave him broken beyond repair. But like a sucker for pain, a total masochist, he couldn’t keep away.
“Hey, Con, what time’s your gig tonight?” Levi yelled from the other room. “If I can move after today’s filming, I’d like to be there.”
“Eight,” he called out, scrubbing the fluffy white towel over his hair, before wrapping it around his waist. Steam coated the mirror, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was going to shave; he was finally at the point of almost having a proper beard. “Whatcha filmin’?” he asked, walking into his bedroom and pulling a pair of shorts out of his cupboard.
“I’m doin’ a few specials on preparing for Tough Mudder,” Levi said as he came to stand in the open doorway of Connor’s bedroom. “DJ, our location manager, set up some exercises with the army, training at the barracks in the mountains. Should be fun.”
“Cool.” Connor hesitated before pulling off the towel and getting dressed. He had planned on heading to the mechanic’s shop to see if any of the parts he’d sent away for rust proofing had been returned, but one day wouldn’t make a difference. Levi’s bike was as close to being finished as it was going to get—another day or two and it’d be ready for painting. That bit and the assembly, Connor wanted them to do together. “Hey, I can come if you like. I was gonna do a few bits and pieces, but it can wait. I might be able to give you some pointers.”
“Yeah, great.” Levi’s smile lit up his face and Connor’s heart skipped a beat. With an excited grin, Levi asked, “Can we take your car up the mountain?”
Connor chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve been itchin’ to let her loose on the winding roads up there.” Deciding against the shorts and shirt, Connor retrieved his heavy-duty combat boots and camos from his cupboard. If he was going to help Levi, it would be from by his side.
*****
Closing his eyes, Connor tried to breathe deeply. Tried being the appropriate word. He could barely get a breath in, but even still, the smell of eucalypts and the damp mossy undergrowth wafted to him on the cool breeze. The light sprinkling of rain they’d had on the way up the mountain had given a chill to the wind and left everything smelling fresh.
The beauty of the surrounding scenery did nothing to ease him; Connor’s chest was tight. He fought to gasp in another breath. It was as if an elephant was sitting on him making him struggle to get air into his lungs with each inhale. Damnit. Fuck. Frustrated, he ground his teeth together as he tried in vain to steady his shaking hands. His heart beat hard, each pump vibrating through him.
“Lee,” he wheezed, unsure whether his friend would have even heard. They hadn’t even started the run yet. No, they were getting the grand tour, the director insisting they see the training village even though both the army and the location manager had already ruled it out for possible filming. He shouldn’t be struggling, but his mind teetered on the edge of a ravine into hell, and knowing exactly what was down there in its depths—the memories, the grief and powerlessness—scared Connor more than the war ever had.
He was already trailing behind the group, leaving Levi to his thing, when the memories crashed into him. Alert, panning his gaze, he looked through the windows of the empty squat building, to see another opening on the opposite side. Through the windows was an alleyway, the flash of movement there catching his eye. Connor reached for his gun, but it wasn’t there. Why not? Instinctively, he felt for his sidearm, but he wasn’t wearing his holster either. Or his body armour. Jesus fucking Christ. His heartbeat thundering in his veins, panic seizing him, every muscle in his body turning to jelly. Hide. Dizzy, he reached out trying to steady himself, but he went down on his knees. He was a sitting duck. Fucking target practice.
Gravel crunched underfoot and Connor raised his fist—the sign for freeze—as he tried desperately to get a handle on where the enemy was, but his unit didn’t stop—they kept talking… they kept walking. Frantic, he looked up scanning the rooftops, waiting for the inevitable moment he’d see it—the wink of metal in the sunlight. The gun that would end him.
“Fire at will.” His commanding officer’s voice rang through the quiet village. Connor’s muscles wouldn’t work. Everything in him screamed to take cover, but he couldn’t move. Like sinking down into a pool of quicksand, he was rooted to the spot. When would it happen? When would the lance of fire-like pain from the bullet tearing his body apart come?
“Connor, Connor.” The voice was familiar. Rob. No! Take cover. You die too. You can’t die. Molly doesn’t deserve to lose you, you don’t deserve to die. Please. Strong hands on his biceps shook him and instinct had him fighting back, warding off the enemy. He struck out, connecting with a hard body but a grunt was the only indication he’d even affected the insurgent.
“Con, you’re home. You’re safe.” The hands left his arms and cupped his face and Connor recoiled, shying from the blows that would come. They did that—the enemy would beat him to a pulp if they got their hands on him. But they couldn’t, could they? He was there, in the middle of his unit. They protected each other. Connor looked around wildly. Why wasn’t he protected? Bodies were everywhere. Blood stains seeping into the dirt, the pools of red flooding outward and turning a deep brown as the dust settled. All of them, gone. Mangled piles of limbs twisted into barely recognizable forms. A tortured cry ripped itself from his throat as he twisted, trying to reach his brothers and sisters.
“No,” he gasped, his lungs on fire. He needed to breathe, but he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he? He fought, trying to push the wall of muscle away. Like he was underwater, the sounds around him became muted, his vision swimming. Blackness started to close in on him.
“Look at me, Connor. Focus on me. Breathe.” Levi? No, he can’t be here. “You’re back on the Goldie. Remember? Your first day back we went and laid out on the beach. You were listening to the waves, relaxing. Katy was there too. You were singing with your guitar.” He remembered that. The inner calm, the peace he got from being with his best friends washed over him. “That’s it. Take another breath.” He did and the dark shadows colouring his vision lifted.
“Con, I need you to look at me. I need you to see me.” Connor followed Levi’s soothing voice and finally focussed on him. Right in front of him, their faces close together, he was all Connor could see. His gut sank, confusion and horror washing over him. “Just look at me. Don’t worry about anything else. You’re safe. You’re home. No one’s gonna hurt you. Ever. Okay?” Connor found himself nodding, wanting to do anything to keep the strength of those hands on him. They were the only thing keeping him upright.
“I’m gonna give you a tablet. It’s the one you normally take to help calm you down. Can I do that? Can you open your mouth for me?” Connor’s movements were slow, but he managed a nod. When he did, he felt Levi reaching into his pocket, getting the pill bottle out and Connor opened his mouth. The acrid taste of the medicine under his tongue filled his mouth after a moment and he began floating, the pain drifting away. Levi’s strong hands stayed on him, comforting him.
His head throbbing, he slumped forward, falling into Levi’s arms and resting his head on his friend’s shoulder. He breathed deeply, smelling no cordite, no blood. There was only cedar and orange, only Levi. The tablets always made him drowsy—he hated taking them, but he was finally going numb, finally getting blessed relief from nerves that were too raw, from memories that were so terrifying, they’d broken and scarred him for life.
“I’m sorry,” Connor whispered. “I ruined everything.”
“Nah, you haven’t ruined anything. Not at all,” Levi responded, lulling Connor to sleep as he ran his fingers through Connor’s hair. “But this position is hell on my knees. Let’s get you up and into the medical centre so you can sleep. The doc’s right here.”
“No,” he breathed, his muscles clenching tight. “Not the infirmary, please.” Connor was ashamed at the weakness, the vulnerability in his voice, but he couldn’t handle another flashback, and that’s exactly what would happen if he went in there. The harsh antiseptics, the beds, and nurse’s scrubs would send him back to those early days after Rob’s death when mending his body had been the army’s main concern. Call him bitter, but the damage to his mind didn’t ever seem to have been as big a worry until his treating doctor’s deployment ended and he was replaced by another one who’d done part of her residency in the psych ward. She’d diagnosed Connor with PTSD and a few other things with complicated names when his nightmares bled into waking hours. Yeah, there was no way he was going back into a hospital unless he was dying. “I’ll go back to the car and stay there.”
Levi squeezed him tighter. “Yeah, okay. I’ll come and check on you.”
When Connor woke, he knew he’d slept for hours. The sun was low in the sky and the heat of the day had passed. He got out and stretched, needing to take a leak and get a drink. He was hazy, like he was seeing the world through cotton wool. The meds always did that to him. Looking around as he walked over to the exercise yard, he followed the breathing and exercises his therapist had given him. He counted out of order too, keeping his mind as occupied as he could. He didn’t want a repeat of that morning, but he was not going to let this beat him. He was going to function, and right at that moment, it meant going to find Levi.
When he saw his friend, he was soaked through and covered in mud jogging towards a collection of cameras. Connor guessed it was the finish line, but he wasn’t exactly the expert on how they filmed segments of the show.
Levi looked high on life, a broad smile lighting up his already gorgeous features. Connor looked around, trying to figure out who Levi had done the course with. Two men in olive camos ran behind him, covered in as much mud as Levi. They’d taken his place. He should have been running with his best friend, but his damn disability had stopped him short. Connor sighed, but he hated that he’d just proved the doctors right—his medical discharge was warranted. He didn’t want to get angry, hated the pity party for one he’d had when he was first diagnosed, but he couldn’t help being pissed. No, dude, that ain’t happenin’. Suck it up, sunshine, and appreciate what you have. That was it, the key—Connor wasn’t sure what the future held for him. He could end up that weird, lonely uncle sleeping in Levi and Katy’s spare room, but whatever life had in store for him, he was going to live every moment like it was his last.
The production crew clapped and cheered as Levi slowed his run to a walk. Visibly out of breath, he paced it out, shaking off the lactic acid in his legs as his breathing slowed, before dropping onto the ground, sitting cross-legged in the grass. He waved off the director as Connor walked over to him. “You okay, mate?” Connor asked. He smiled, proud of his friend’s effort in finishing the course.
“Yeah,” Levi replied, flashing him a grin in return. Turning to the man hovering close by he added, “Just gimme a minute to catch my breath then I’ll do the close.” When they were alone again, Levi groused at him playfully, “Don’t just stand there.” He held out his hand for Connor to help him up. “Lemme get this over with then I can have a shower and get in your car clean. Otherwise you’ll be carrying me home.”
“Like fuck.” He laughed, feeling lighter just being with Levi. “I’ll leave you here before I let you dirty up my brand-new interior.”
“Whatever. Tonight, I’m on the bottom.” And like that, Connor’s biggest problem was the erection tenting his camos. And what a great look that would be for a children’s program—Look here, kids, I’ve got a boner over fucking my best mate’s girl. In a threesome. With my best mate. Who I’m also hot for. Thank God, he wasn’t in front of the cameras.
“You’re on the bottom of what, Levi?” DJ, the location manager, asked, pointing out where they had the last of the cameras set up.
“Nothin’, mate,” Levi replied, barely missing a beat. Damn, they needed to be more careful in public. Levi was so worried about his job that he wouldn’t even repair his bike. He’d wanted piercings forever and tatts too, but had held off knowing that it didn’t suit his image for the show. And now he was potentially putting it on the line so Connor could jump into bed with them? What am I thinking letting him risk everything he’s worked for? Connor closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. How could he stay when he might be forcing Levi’s hand to risk something he loved? Especially when he was so damaged.
*****
“You sure you’re up to coming tonight? If you’d rather have some alone time with Katy, it’s cool. I don’t have to stay at your place either. I still have Nick and Em’s key,” Connor added as he pulled into the off-street parking just outside Katy’s shop. He cut the engine and willed himself to smile at Levi. It probably looked fake as hell, but after Connor had realized how much risk he was putting Levi in by being with them, he’d had a hard time putting on a genuine one.
“Yeah.” Levi nodded. He took a breath like he was nervous, and blurted out, “I know this is new and you were probably shocked as shit yesterday, and, yeah, we do need to have a sit down to figure out boundaries and all that other stuff, but can we maybe just go with the flow or whatever? I don’t want it to be a one-night thing, especially not when you and Katy feel the way you do about each other.”
Connor studied Levi, wanting to laugh at his nerves, but so grateful for the fact that he’d just laid it out there, giving him the opening Connor had dreamed of. “I’m happy to go with the flow. I’d kinda love it if last night wasn’t a one-off.” He flushed, embarrassed that his sex life outside of the night before had been virtually non-existent for a long time. “I know you two are exclusive. I’m happy to do the same if….” Connor shrugged, leaving the rest unsaid.
Levi nodded quickly. “I’d like that. We should talk to Katy too. Maybe if she wants to keep this thing between us going, you could watch us together.” Levi lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, his uncertainty showing through. Connor would never say it out loud—Levi might kick his arse—but he found it adorable. “Or I could watch again.” Levi shot him a shy smile and Connor’s heart warmed.
“Did it feel weird to you? Watching me with Katy, I mean?”
“Nah, not weird. It turned me on. I kinda want to see her give you a BJ. She gets so into it.” Levi pressed down on the bulge between his legs and Connor stifled a moan. I’d get into giving you a BJ too. “What about you? You okay with this? With us?”
“Yeah.” Connor nodded, before shrugging his shoulders and adding, “I never thought I’d even be lucky enough to kiss her, never mind love her like I did yesterday. And you being there made it even better.”
Levi smiled at him and clapped a hand on Connor’s thigh, quickly removing it. “Come on, let’s go in and get our girl.”
The chime on the door tinkled behind them as it opened and Levi stepped through. “G’day, Dylan, is Katy out back?”
“Sure is, sexy.” The dude looked up and flashed a smile to Levi, making jealousy churn in Connor’s gut and a low growl escape him. As soon as it did, the other man’s gaze flicked over to Connor and he did a slow perusal, checking him out. Heat bloomed in Connor’s cheeks and with a chuckle, the dude Levi had called Dylan asked, “You gonna introduce me to this hot piece of sex on a stick, Lee?”
Levi’s eyes widened momentarily, his mouth popping open as he froze like a deer in headlights. Yeah, Dylan had stunned him, and Connor couldn’t help but bite back a laugh. “Ah, Con, this is Dylan, Katy’s other pastry chef. He looks after all the stuff you see in the counter and does some of the decorating for Katy. Dylan, Connor, my best mate.”
“Nice to meet you, Connor.” Dylan held up his flour-coated hands giving him an apologetic look. “I’d shake, but it’s easier not to. Anyway, I’ve heard lots about you from Katy. Welcome back and thanks for your service.”
Connor swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He appreciated the sentiment but his emotions were a little too close to the surface, too raw, for him to respond with much more than a “Thanks.” Connor was grateful he didn’t have to continue the conversation when Levi wrapped a hand around his bicep and tugged him across the room.
“Sugar?” Levi called out as he poked his head through the security-coded door to the rear work area.
“Hi, babe. I’m in the storeroom. Come and take a look at the cake I just finished.”
They walked through into the cooled room, and Connor’s mouth dropped open. Damn the talent this girl had was off the charts. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The three-foot-high replica of Cinderella’s castle came complete with a horse-drawn pumpkin chariot, Cinderella in her white ball gown and Prince Charming waiting at the top of the stairs. Every minute detail stood out—the individual leaves on the bushes, petals on the flowers, every shingle on the roof and curl of fabric in the dress. It was magnificent. Katy was magnificent.
“Holy crap, that’s amazing,” Levi breathed. Connor was speechless. But unable to resist touching her anymore, Connor reached out and took the camera she was holding, handing it to Levi.
Clasping her hand in his, he listened as Katy explained, “It’s a one-off design for a customer. I’ve been working on it for nine days. The chariot alone took me four hours to make.” Turning to him, she smiled tentatively, her blue eyes seeking out his approval. “What do you think, Con?”
The memories from the night before careened into him—Katy writhing in pleasure beneath him, the tight clasp of her pussy as she cradled him while they came together, the love in her gaze when he rolled them to the side and held her—and he fell deeper under the spell she wove. “Fuck me,” he stuttered. “It’s—”
“Yes please.” Dylan laughed from the doorway. Instinctively Connor dropped Katy’s hand and put some distance between them. He may have been in her bed, in her the night before, but whatever they had would never be public. Especially not with Levi having to guard his job.
Connor feigned a chuckle, but it sounded strained even to his own ears. “It’s fuckin’ amazing. But how could someone eat it? It’s a work of art.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t bear to cut into it.” Katy smiled and shrugged. “But that’s the reason they bought it.”
Connor’s phone chimed with an incoming message. He was going to ignore it until Katy motioned him to get it. When he saw who’d sent it, he grinned. His cousin, Ford, was bringing his partner to the Gold Coast for a holiday. After close to a decade, he was going to see his only living relative—Ford’s parents didn’t count. They weren’t Connor’s favourite people in the world. Stuck up and with major superiority complexes, Connor steered clear of his father’s sister and her doctor husband wherever possible. It wasn’t hard when they were in the UK, and he was on the other side of the world. How his cousin ended up being such a great guy was beyond Connor, and even though there was nearly a ten-year age gap between them, they’d always been mates.
Katy linked arms with him and added, “Come on, let’s head home. You can tell me all about why you’re suddenly as excited as a puppy dog on the way.”