Eloise

It was six o’clock p.m. when I finally climbed out of bed. Walking into the bathroom, I splashed my face with some cold water and looked at my dreaded self in the mirror. My eyes were still puffy and red and I had blotches all over my face. My body ached and it was a struggle to even walk to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. While the coffee was brewing, I pulled my phone from my purse and saw I had two missed calls from Natalie, three missed calls from Scarlett, one missed call from Claire, a dozen text messages from all three of them, and two messages from Christian. Like an idiot, I opened the messages from Christian first.

“Eloise, please talk to me. I’m so sorry for everything. We need to talk this out.”

“I know I’ve hurt you and I can’t say sorry enough. I’m begging you to please talk to me. The last week we spent together was the best week of my life. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please, baby. Please just talk to me.”

I sent text messages back to the girls telling them that I was okay and that I was going to shut my phone off for the rest of the night and do some work. I needed to keep myself occupied, but I didn’t want to go out. Opening my emails, I sat there sipping my coffee and reading the compliments I had received from women all over the world who were using the #Delete method. I could sense the excitement in their words and how my videos and blog posts had helped them so much. I started reading over some of my older blog posts and came across one I had forgotten about. It was a post about not allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity and hurt for more than twenty-four hours after a breakup. I read it as if someone else had written it.

Who was I? Who the hell was I to give out this advice if I wasn’t going to take it myself? I felt like a fraud as I sat there feeling sorry for myself in such a devastated state. The pain hadn’t lessened, but I knew I had to get myself back on track, no matter how hard it would be. So I put on some makeup, fixed my hair, and filmed a video on how to deal with a breakup and what you should do to help yourself heal.

After I was done filming, I decided to wait and edit the video tomorrow morning. I thought about cancelling dinner with my parents because I dreaded telling them what happened between me and Christian. But staying home and feeling sorry for myself wasn’t an option. Plus, I hadn’t seen them in a while, and right now, I needed my mom. Looking over Christian’s text messages again, I decided to respond. Not for him, but for my peace of mind. It felt weird texting him as Christian at the number I’d only known as Mobile Man’s.

“You’re sorry. I get that. But I can’t be in a relationship with someone who deceived me. Even after what transpired yesterday, I still like you, but I don’t need you. I was fine before you walked into my life and I’ll be fine now that you’re gone and no longer in it.”

I hit the send button and threw my phone down. I expected a response ASAP, but as the night went on, a response never came. I’d said my peace in a nice way. I could have gone off on him and called him every name in the book because God knows he deserved it, but I couldn’t. The intense pain I felt inside was disappointment. Disappointment in the fact that Christian didn’t turn out to be who I thought he was or who I wanted him to be.

****

Christian

Her text message to me was brutally heartbreaking. To be honest, I expected a lot worse. At least she didn’t tell me that she hated me. She still liked me, but she didn’t need me and those words right there caused a lump in my throat that nearly suffocated me. I needed to respond, but I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t. I said what I needed to in my last two text messages and she said what she needed to in hers. But just because she didn’t need me didn’t mean that I was going to stop trying. Eloise and I belonged together. I made one stupid mistake and I would spend the rest of my life figuring out how to make it up to her. She may have thought she didn’t need me, but she did. She needed me to love her, to be there for her when she was having a bad day, and to support her in everything she did.

****

Eloise

The next morning, I climbed out of bed at six a.m. and headed to the gym. It wasn’t a place I went to every day, but on occasion when I felt like I needed to get back into my self-love practices, I would go. The pain in my heart was still heavy, but I was going to practice what I preached. I allowed myself twenty-four hours of depression and wallowing in self-pity and that was long enough. I needed to get back to my life before Christian stepped into it, and I was determined to get through this, no matter what it took.

I put my headphones on and climbed on the treadmill. As I was running and looking out the window at the people passing by on the street, I saw Christian walk in. What the fuck? Was he stalking me or something? An unsettling nervousness took over me. There was no way he could see me. I was at the opposite end of the door, second row, sandwiched between two other people. I watched as he checked in and stared straight ahead as he walked to the locker room. I let out the deep breath I was holding and continued to run. He lifted weights, so I was positive he would go to the weight area and then I wouldn’t have to see him. The girl that was next to me climbed off and it was the only treadmill open. My heart started rapidly pounding as thoughts of him getting on next me infiltrated my head. I stared straight ahead, and as I listened to my music, I silently prayed.

Crisis averted. I ran on the treadmill for forty-five minutes and then I needed to get home and edit my video so I could upload it. I turned off my music, took my headphones off, and headed to the locker room, praying all the way he wouldn’t see me.

“Hey, Eloise, wait up!” I heard a man’s voice speak.

I turned around and it was Curtis, one of the models I shot for a magazine spread.

“Curtis, hey. How are you?” I nervously spoke because I didn’t want to stop and talk. But I couldn’t be rude.

“I’m good. How are you? You’re an early bird this morning.” He grinned.

“Yeah. Thought I’d come in and do some cardio before starting the day.”

“It was good to see you. Have a great day!”

“You too, Curtis.”

Just as I turned around to go to the locker room, I ran right into Christian. Our eyes locked and the tension between us was noticeable.

“Eloise,” he softly spoke.

“I didn’t know you came to this gym,” I spoke.

“I usually go to the other one by my apartment, but they didn’t have any power this morning, so I came here. I didn’t know you came here.”

“I do sometimes.” I swallowed hard as he stood before me, a sweaty, sexy mess.

“Weird how we both seem to be here this morning,” he spoke.

“I need to go. I have things to do.” I began to walk away, when he called out my name.

“Eloise?”

I stopped but didn’t turn around.

“I’m sorry for everything. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”

I continued walking to the locker room, and when I reached it, I sat down on the bench and tried to hold back the tears that were forcing their way out. I grabbed my stuff and got out of there as fast as I could, went home, edited my video, and uploaded it.