Helena
Ali seemed inconsolable as we got ready for her to be discharged from the hospital, and I feared that I wasn't handling the situation much better than she was. I knew that I needed to be strong for her sake, but the news about Dominick's condition made me feel like the end of the world had to be near.
And in a way, I worried that it really was. The end of our world, at least. Dominick's daily visits, his smile, his obvious love for Ali—all of that was in danger now, and I was powerless to do anything about it. I could barely process the reality that he wasn't doing well, and the thought that he could be in pain made me feel sick to my stomach. I just wanted to crumble to my knees, crying until he came to scoop me up in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be all right.
But of course, that wasn't possible. Even if it had been, I still wouldn't have been able to do it. I couldn't wait around for Dominick to reassure me, not when Ali needed me to do exactly the same thing for her. One look at my daughter told me that she was suffering just as much as anyone, between the paleness of her skin and the grey circles around her eyes. I took a deep breath and pulled myself together, reassured by the fact that I was doing the right thing—it was what Dominick would've done in the same situation, I had no doubt about it.
He'd be strong, and not fall into a pathetic mess of despair and hopelessness.
Holding Ali's hand as they transferred her to the wheelchair, I gave her a smile and was heartened when her cheeks turned just the slightest bit upwards. She was obviously exhausted and upset, but it looked like she was starting to open up again already.
Signing all the paperwork, I was eager to get Ali back home and begin nursing her back to health. I hoped that she would again be her usual bubbly self. Physically, she would be whole again soon, but emotionally it was a different story. She'd had a close call and needed time to process that, and it was obvious that she was just as worried about Dominick as I was.
He was her dad, after all.
Before we could leave, though, there was still one thing left to take care of. I asked the nurse to keep an eye on Ali for a moment, then went to track down Soreya and Jane to see if they'd heard anything new. They were still in the waiting room, and welcomed me with open arms and asking about Ali's wellbeing. I answered their questions, feeling a little stab of guilt that I hadn't brought her directly. But of course there was no way that the two women wouldn't have recognized their own son's eyes the moment they saw Ali, raising an endless amount of confusion to an already confusing time.
And Dominick would be able to explain everything to them very soon. I needed to believe that he was going to be fine, and if I started taking over for him—dealing with his family without waiting for him—then maybe it meant he wasn't going to be okay.
And I wasn't ready to have that thought.
After that, the two older women caught me up on Dominick's situation. He was as stable as it got under the circumstances, it seemed. They still weren't letting him accept visitors, but the two women were determined to stay until they could see him in the ICU no matter how long it took. Both of them looked anxious and ashen, and it was clear that Dominick meant every bit as much to them as he and Ali meant to me.
"Do—do you think you could call me when you can see him? Or when you find out anything new?" I asked, my throat dry. It felt like I was somehow betraying Dominick by leaving the hospital, and I hated the idea that his family might think I just didn't care that much.
Soreya looked at Jane, who immediately nodded. "Of course we'll let you know," Jane said, and I felt immense relief. If circumstances were just a little different, I'd have spent the entire night anxiously waiting with them. But of course there was no way I could do that. I couldn't leave Ali at a time like this any more than Dom's own mom could've left him.
So instead, I gave them my phone number, speaking through the lump in my throat and trying to stay positive.
Or at least trying to not burst into tears.
It worked, just barely.
And then it was their turn to ask something from me.
"Helena, before you go," Jane said slowly, staring at my belly. "The baby, is it…" she trailed off. She didn't need to finish. I already knew what she was asking. They'd probably been wondering about it from the moment I spoke to them, and I felt stupid and cruel for not saying sooner. Flashbacks of my earlier reluctance with Dominick haunted me, all that guilt coming back in an instant.
Dominick should've been the one to tell them.
But Dominick hadn't told them, either about the Ali or the baby. There must've been a reason, but I couldn't ask what it was. But regardless of that reason, the baby was certainly easier to explain than Ali. And I was sure that Dominick would've approved of me telling them, giving them something to think about other than the hell of waiting for more news about him.
And, perhaps more importantly, they were family now. I took a deep breath and, hoping I had made the right decision, gave them my answer.
"Yes. Your grandson," I said simply, unsure of how much detail to add.
A split second later, Soreya and Jane both had rushed up to their feet and were hugging me. Soreya looked happy but there was no hiding her shock, while Jane wasted no time before asking permission to touch my belly.
"He should have said something!" Soreya said quietly, shaking her head as she wiped tears from her eyes. "He should have told us."
"It's kind of a long story," I said automatically, then continued. "But don't be too hard on him. I'm sure he was going to tell you soon. The past few months have been crazy for both of us."
Soreya didn't say anything while Jane beamed unambiguous happiness, her smile as bright as Dominick's had been after he'd gotten over the shock.
"I wish I could stay longer," I said sincerely. "But I really need to be with Ali right now. Please, don't forget to let me know as soon as you hear anything."
The two women nodded, and I reluctantly turned to leave. At least, I was satisfied they had my back and would contact me as soon as they had news.
I just prayed it would be good news.