“I’m sorry,” I said.

The words sounded hollow and pointless in my ears. Owen was gaping at me, his features still trying to decode what just happened.

I backed away. “I wasn’t thinking. I thought it would be ok,” I said. “But when you kissed me like that…”

“You felt like you were losing control,” Owen said simply.

Now it was my turn to gape at him. He hadn’t said what he was supposed to, none of this was happening how it was supposed to.

He wasn’t supposed to guess the truth of it in a flash. He was supposed to be fed up, angry. That man I could reject easily, turn my feelings off for.

But this man, the one with understanding in his eyes, backing away himself, there was no going cold on. I still tried anyway.

“I want to go home now,” I said, though it wasn’t exactly how I felt.

I couldn’t let him know how right he’d been with his spur-of-the-moment statement. How he’d hit to the core of it. How – unlike my expectations – kissing him hadn’t felt wrong at all. How it’d felt as right as kissing could, like coming home.

“Of course,” he said easily. Already he’d gotten started on folding the blanket we’d been sitting on.

I grabbed the wine bottle, glaring at it. It was partially responsible for all this – me revealing all that about Brent and my fears and now, Owen’s and my kiss. Only partially, though. The real one to blame for all of this was me.

“You ready to go?” Owen asked.

I nodded.

The car ride home was silent. Owen looked disappointed, sure, but no matter how many times I snuck a look over, the frustration I expected to see on his full lower lip never entered into the picture.

No, he dropped me off and only waved, stopping me when I was about to shut the door. “Hey Cin?”

“Yeah?”

“I had a great time. Sorry about how it ended.”

I eyed him incredulously. “I was the one who kissed you and pulled away.”

“Yeah, but I was the one who brought the wine, had the whole beach idea. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of me had been hoping for a chance at that kiss.”

I could only pause there, looking at him. God, he was gorgeous. His tousled sandy strands my fingers now ached to touch, his brown eyes made black in the dark, yet no less earnest.

“Thanks for taking me out today,” I said. “Goodnight Owen.”

“Goodnight Cin.”

I’d been avoiding eye contact, but right now, I couldn’t resist stealing a look. His intent gaze held mine. I could feel myself falling, sinking toward him, irresistible.

No room for self-control, for anything but giving into this inevitable pull, this closer and closer and-

No.

At the last second, I ripped my gaze off his, pulled back and slammed the door shut. And then I turned my back on Owen Powers.

On the walk up to my apartment, tears pressed at the backs of my eyes, while the corners of my lips kept poking up. They hadn’t gotten the memo yet.

That it wasn’t a good thing that Owen’s feelings were as strong for me as mine were for him, that he’d said as much for Jake’s feelings too. Neither was it good that kissing him hadn’t felt wrong at all.

If this didn’t work out, I was in for a whole world of pain. Inside my room, flopped on my bed in my nightie, I thought about calling Penelope up, then thought better of it. The odds of her being on a Tinder date were ninety to one, and I wasn’t sure I wanted her brand of pep talk tonight. No, the only person I could talk to about this was also the last person I should be talking to at all.

Jake picked up on the first ring.

“Let me guess. Things went not just a-ok with my brother but grrreat!”

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Yeah, well, I just ate three croissants. And I don’t have a guilty conscience plaguing me.”

Despite myself, I had to smile.

“Still, all this is messing with my head,” I said to him.

“Mine too,” Jake admitted. “Want to come over now and brainstorm about it together?”

I paused. The offer was tempting. Our sex had been hot with a capital H. Maybe if I spent enough time with Jake, Owen would change his mind about being ok with us too. Although I wasn’t sure I really wanted that.

“No,” I said finally.

Jake sighed loudly. “Guess I’ll just have to make do with my imagination.”

“Guess so.”

“What are you wearing?”

“Jake!”

“Hang on – Owen just texted me. Ooohh a ripped tee. You’ll wear that for me next time?”

“Actually, I changed into PJs. Though you seriously asked Owen what I was wearing so you can...”

“Yup. Why not?” Jake was utterly nonplussed. “I mean, I walked in on him jerking off to you, so it’s only fair.”

“Yeah, did not want to know that.”

“You’re blushing right now, aren’t you?”

“Ok, I think it’s time for me to go to bed,” I said firmly.

“Sure you don’t want me to come tuck you in?”

Knock, knock, knock.

I strode out of my room to stare at my front door.

I wasn’t expecting anyone, so who could it be? Whoever it was, it was at least a good excuse to get off the phone.

“Listen Jake, I really have to go, there’s someone at the door,” I said, even though I still hadn’t decided whether I was going to answer it.

“You’re going to want to stay on the line. Seriously,” he said. “Go check.”

And I did, steeling myself for the worst. What I did not expect was a delivery man with a bouquet of dark blue roses.

“Thanks,” I told the delivery man, before returning to the phone.

I paused to dip my nose in the roses, inhaling the fresh scent. “Thank you.”

Even over the phone line, I could tell Jake was smiling as he spoke, “My pleasure. When I come over, I’ll expect to see them in a nice vase too.”

“When you come over,” I said. “Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, are we?”

“Why not? You weren’t inviting me over yet, although you wanted to. So I invited myself. How about we say tonight?”

“Goodnight Jake.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I’ll talk to you then.”

And, before he could respond, I’d hung up. After, I sunk onto my bed, rose bouquet in hand, smile wobbling on my face.

“Incorrigible,” I muttered to myself, still smiling as I dipped my nose in the bouquet again.

When my phone rang again, I picked it up immediately. “Jake, I mean it. After this I’m turning off my phone.”

“Ok, don’t be mad. But Jake told me to call you.”

At the sound of Owen’s cautious yet happy voice, I could only laugh. “I’m trying to go to bed.”

“Want me to leave you to it?”

“No – I… maybe. I don’t know. After all this talking, I’m not really tired.”

It was true. Jake’s persistence had succeeded in making me horny – and awake. I wet my lips with the tip of my tongue.

“He also told me to drive to your place.”

“What?”

“Ok, I can’t blame that one on Jake,” he admitted. “I came here myself – but I brought some more chocolate.”

I giggled. “Are you trying to bribe me?”

“Depends. Is it working?”

I sighed. “Are you really here?”

A knock at my door had me laugh-groaning. The front desk attendant, Ms. Swaetland, was really too lenient in buzzing people in. Although this time I wasn’t exactly complaining.

Thanks to her, I had an absolute stud standing in my doorway, wine bottle in one hand, chocolate in the other. He had changed and was wearing a tight black shirt, blue jeans, and a killer smile.

“You sure I’m not intruding?” he asked, thumbing his belt buckles.

“I’m sure,” I said, my fingers closing around the neck of the wine bottle.

“Good,” he said, his hand closing around the back of my head. “Because with you wearing that, I wasn’t about to go anywhere.”

The next thing I knew, his lips were mashing on mine, his hand tilting my chin up so his mouth could claim mine. It was a request and demand all in one. Pure ownership. Want. Fire.

With the flat of his other palm he pressed me to the wall, that same palm dragging down and down. Over one breast and around, until my nipple was taut. Then the other. Everything painstakingly slow, teasingly gradual.

He released my neck so his kisses could trace my jawline. My lips found his ear, kissed and lapped and groaned into it. Further down my body, both his hands were working in tandem now, stroking down my sides over the cotton of my nightie, latching onto my hips. They jolted me into his pelvis, into the hard bulge in his pants.

Clearly, my wetness was matched by just how hard Owen was. When my hands went there, his had already slid around, and grabbed onto my ass. As he kneaded the flesh there, my head sunk into his chest, another string of moans sliding free. The way his fingers just took and grabbed, inching ever so closer to where I wanted him most. As the tips of his fingers reached my pussy, my hands grabbed his dick over his jeans.

He froze, looking at me as if I’d suddenly changed into someone else. “Wow, Cin. Just… Wow.”

“Wow, that’s all?” I teased.

As my fingers undid his jeans button and dipped under, he could only nod. “Fuck yeah.”

And that was when his fingers dipped under my nightie, under my panties to the wetness that awaited.

Now, I was the one moving things along, pulling down his briefs and getting to my knees.

“What happened to not being sure of this?” Owen said, smirking.

I looked up at him. Something about his casual front, the earnest question behind his glossy eyes, made me bold. Bad.

“I want your dick in my mouth,” I purred, smirking myself. “Please.”

Owen practically fell over himself complying.

It struck me that this wild sexual act, our first, crazily enough, was emblematic of our entire relationship. Unprecedented. When I was with the twins, I felt beyond myself in the best way – pushed to be braver, more daring than I thought myself capable.

Now was no exception. As Owen slid his dick into my open mouth, all the way down my throat, it didn’t feel wrong at all. No, it felt completely right.

Head back, mouth open wide, body slumped into supplication. Right now, I wanted Owen to see just what being around him did to me. Just how much I really did like him.

As I watched, turned on and getting more so just by the sight of him face-fucking me, Owen was watching me too. Eyes half-lidded, mouth gaping, he looked like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

One minute the head of his cock was bumping against the back of my throat, and the next he was pulling out. Before I could say anything, in one swift motion he lifted me up and conveyed me to my bed.

This is where I sleep, I thought, dazed, still trying to figure out how my life had come to this. This is where I’ve slept, alone, for three years now, and now I’m with the hottest man I know.

Next thing I knew, my soaked through panties were being dragged down and tossed aside. Owen put his mouth where they’d been, and I cried out. His nibble-sucking kisses on my thighs were exquisite torture. Rough and soft alternated as he kissed a path toward my pussy.

“You…” was all I could gasp.

Owen only flicked up his brows, clearly pleased with himself. I pushed up, rolling him over onto his back and straddling his face so I could go back to work on sucking him off.

As soon as my mouth made contact with the head of his cock, he was the one shaking.

Although that only seemed to spur him on, as his kisses brought themselves right between my legs now to my pussy lips that he tongued and teased, enjoying my squirming.

Though if he thought that meant distracting me from the sucking dick task at hand, then he had another thing coming. Because the way Owen was pleasuring me now only served to throw me into my task with more gusto. Forming a seal with my lips and wrapping them over my teeth, I slurped my way down his dick hard. All the way until once again his dick was tapping against the back of my throat.

Owen, meanwhile, had joined his finger in the mix, dipping it into my quivering depths. His mouth moved on and up to kiss my swollen clit.

By now, I was practically thrashing.

When Owen sat up, an angry sigh escaped me.

“One second,” he said, staring at me. His eyes ran up and down me, his lip gaped lower. In my mouth, his cock flexed.

“What is it?” I said, breaking free.

“Just – you’re goddamn beautiful Cin.”

His eyes underscored the truth of his words. And when he dove his face between my legs, lips and tongue on clit, finger in my pussy, that was the biggest best proof of all.

His pulsing fingers and suckling mouth worked in perfect tandem to pleasure me. More and more, higher and higher, until everything peaked and the edges of my vision oranged and yellowed and slammed and swam.

After, he eased himself out of me, as I eased his dick further into my mouth. Already, I had felt him twitching deliciously.

So, all there was to do was treat him to an orgasm just how he’d treated me.. In and out. Deep and deeper. Maybe it was the excited thrum of emotions – joy, disbelief, wonder – at what was happening going through me, but I was more fully into the task of blowing Owen than I’d ever been at anything. My whole world was contained in the thick, long contours of his cock, and all I lived for right then was to see it pulse its white-hot liquid joy into me.

It wasn’t long before I got my wish. His twitching spurred me on as I flung everything I had into it, my hand helping form a further seal, my lips aching with the need for him to come, and the ceaseless rhythm of his upward thrusts. Until he was groaning, and time broke and so did the rhythm, and my mouth and tongue and hands were dancing all over him, no logical way and every way at once. His hands fisted my hair and his cock spurted into me, once, twice, and more, pouring down my throat.

And then we lay there, breathing together, our bodies spasming with the aftershocks, smiling at each other like idiots.