Stop thinking about it.

I kept telling myself that, but it wasn’t getting any easier.

Owen’s and my steamy sex last night kept replaying through my head like a broken record. Then my feeling afterwards, that unmistakable sense that Owen was hiding something from me.

Now wasn’t the time to get into it; I was at work.

I shouldn’t have cared, but I did. Was it another girl? The twins seemed to be genuinely into me, but what if this was just fun for them? It was becoming more for me at a remarkably accelerated pace.

Viola’s abrupt voice surprised me from my chart-filling reverie: “Hyacinth.”

“Yes?” I asked.

“Two guys here to see you. They said it was an emergency.”

As I started in the direction of her hand swing, her voice followed me, “You have ten minutes.”

Around the corner, Jake and Owen rose when I came into the waiting room.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed at them.

“Come to straighten a few things out,” Jake said, taking my arm.

“And buy you food, if it comes to it,” Owen said, taking the other one.

I couldn’t entirely hold back my smile as we made our way down the hallway.

“So what have you come to straighten out then?” I dared ask.

By now, we’d reached a basically abandoned lounge, so we were able to sit down and speak at a normal level.

Owen took both my hands. “That this is just for fun for us.”

“Don’t get us wrong.” A smile quirked on Jake’s face. “Being with you is fun as hell. Just, that’s not all this is.”

“No?” was all I could think to say.

Leaning back on the chair, I took a deep breath, the fluorescent lights fuzzing in my vision. I really hadn’t slept well last night.

“You ok?” Owen asked.

“I am hungry,” I admitted. “And tired.”

He rose. “While I can’t help the fatigue part, wait here.”

“He’s been looking for an excuse to hit up the cafeteria since we got here,” Jake admitted.

“Can’t say I blame him,” I said. “We do have a good ravioli.”

Jake nodded absently; it was clear he hadn’t heard me. Instead, he was scowling with a pained expression. As if he had something to say that wasn’t coming out.

Finally, he started talking. “You know, you are fun.”

I stared uncomprehendingly at him, before the realization set in. Owen must’ve told him word-for-word what had happened the other day. While I’d expected as much, I would’ve thought he’d had at least enough discretion to keep my exact wording to himself.

“Sorry, that came out wrong,” Jake was saying now. “What I meant to say was that, you are fun, but this isn’t fun.”

Another uncomprehending stare and Jake shoved his hands in his pockets. “Shit.”

“Ok.” He took a breath. “You are fun, but this isn’t just for fun. And it’s not fun, being here, not knowing….”

He trailed off, glaring at me. “Planning on contributing to the conversation?”

I glared on back. “Seems like you’re doing just fine yourself.”

He was silent. “You know what? Screw it. All I came here to say was that I really like you. And, if you must know, I don’t really like it at all, it’s weird and annoying.”

“Then why do it?” I cut in.

His eyes rested on me. “You know why.”

Suddenly, I was the one who was mad. “No, I don’t know. Tell me.”

His mouth was a snarl by now. “Because I have no clue where you stand. Yeah, we’ve said some things and done some things, but still.”

“You know where I stand.” The conversation had gone so fast, I wasn’t sure where I even stood now. “I really like both of you and want to see where this goes.”

“Then why the freak-out yesterday?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Maybe it’s like you said. This is all new and freaky to me, a real rollercoaster of emotion.”

“I guess that’s fair,” he said.

Although right then, my attention was taken by the fact that he had grabbed my hand and was examining it. As if he’d forgotten that we were in the middle of my workplace.

“About later this week.” Jake’s pointer finger was stroking down the center line of my hand, a tickly sensation. “I have a big fight coming up. You’ll come to it?”

“You like brownies?” Owen shoved one right in front of my nose, before I could answer.

“I love tiger brownies.” I took a big bite of it, and he grinned.

“Good, ‘cause I do too.” He took an even bigger bite.

“You two are gluttons,” Jake declared as he took another bite.

By then, all that remained of the formerly bread-sized tiger brownie was a few stray crumbs. While Viola chose this time to reappear. “Nice to see you’re getting a second lunch in, Hyacinth.” Her kind tone did a 360 to hyper-bitch mode. “But now it’s time to work.”

“You’re right. Sorry,” I said, turning to say my goodbye to the boys. Jake and Owen both looked utterly unimpressed and I said a silent prayer that they wouldn’t say anything.

Instead, they took their sweet time giving me one beefy hug, both of them planting kisses on my cheek before leaving.

I hurried back to my workstation to avoid meeting Viola’s critical eye or having to talk to her. Although she caught up with me anyway. “Hyacinth?”

“Yes,” I said.

How many times had I told her that 99% of people called me Cin?

The expression in her eyes was unreadable, but her twisted scowl was clear enough. “Careful, now.”

I only nodded, turning away. I had only a few more steps before I reached the room I was stationed in, to get my thoughts in order. It wasn’t enough, of course.

All I knew was that I’d been overreacting earlier. That both twins had put my mind at ease. They really liked me – and I really liked them too. And it was scary and new territory. Maybe the best thing would’ve been to take it slower than we had been. But I could see in Jake’s eyes that he hadn’t said all that just to appease me; he really did care.

Back in the room, before getting to work, I sent him a text about his upcoming fight: I’ll be there.