Chapter Seventeen
Griffin went to bed, his thoughts on Beau. He fell asleep quickly but woke a while later, sleepy and confused, sensing something in the room had changed. He stayed still, listening. There. He could hear the sound of breathing, and it wasn’t his own. Sitting up, he noticed his door, which he’d closed over, was now open.
Moving to the end of the bed, he leaned over, looking down at the floor. Beau was lying on the carpet at the foot of his bed, curled up as if asleep. Griffin could tell he wasn’t sleeping, a little too much tension in the alpha’s body.
“Beau?” he whispered.
The alpha blinked his blue eyes open and turned his head, peering up at him.
“What are you doing down there?”
Beau’s eyes flicked to the door and back to Griffin, but he didn’t reply.
Griffin rubbed a hand across his eyes, yawning. “Can’t sleep?”
The alpha shook his head.
“Okay, then,” Griffin said, moving back to the head of the bed. A moment passed, and nothing happened.
“Beau?” he called.
The alpha’s head appeared above the end of the bed.
“You want me to go?” Beau asked.
Shaking his head, Griffin patted the bed next to him.
“Come on, up you get. You can’t sleep on the floor.”
Beau stood, walking around the bed but not getting in.
“I can go back to my room,” the alpha offered.
“Will you sleep?”
Beau shrugged.
“I don’t blame you. It’s been a tough day. Climb in, get some rest. We’ll figure things out in the morning.”
He pulled back the blanket, and Beau got in, stretching out next to him.
Griffin laid back down and closed his eyes, listening as Beau settled in next to him, the alpha’s breathing evening out. He drifted off a few minutes later.
When he woke again, it was bright out. He looked down, finding Beau had moved closer during the night, sleeping with his head pillowed on Griffin’s stomach. He pictured Ronan’s face if the alpha ever found out and started to laugh.
His laughter woke Beau, the alpha peering around in confusion.
“Morning,” Griffin said.
“Hi,” Beau replied. He seemed to realize he’d attached himself to Griffin and let go, pulling back slowly. “Um, sorry.”
“That’s okay. Why were you sleeping on my floor last night?”
Beau sat up, avoiding Griffin’s eyes.
“Nightmares?” he guessed, remembering Beau’s injured hand.
“Sometimes,” Beau said softly. “There’s something there, something I just can’t…” He trailed off, pressing a hand to his forehead.
Griffin laid back against the pillows, drawing Beau with him. He pressed his palm across Beau’s forehead, and the alpha sighed with relief.
“Do you remember what happened before you came here? The marketplace? Or the stuff before that?”
Beau’s nightmares could have been from memories trapped beneath his conscious mind, struggling to break free.
“Bits and pieces,” Beau said, looking up at him. “But it’s all muddled, and it doesn’t make sense.”
“It might come back, in time.”
There was a distant look in Beau’s eyes. “I’m not sure I want it to.”
Griffin changed the subject, talking to Beau about what they might do that day. Beau had settled down onto the pillows next to him, seeming at ease.
“Is it strange having an omega in your bed?” Griffin wondered. It had been a while since he’d shared his bed with an alpha.
“I’ve had an omega in my bed before,” Beau replied.
Griffin tried to hide his surprise. It wasn’t that it was unknown for fighters to ever spend time with omegas but the impression he’d gotten from Beau was that the alpha knew about omegas only from a distance.
“You have?”
“Twice. It was after I won some big fights at this rich alpha’s private club. They called it a reward.”
Beau’s eyes flicked upward, meeting Griffin’s for a moment. The alpha seemed almost… ashamed.
“The omegas, they were very… different. Confident. They gave me stuff to drink that made everything fuzzy but good fuzzy, you know? I guess they believed I was as dangerous as everyone said. They probably had about as much choice in doing what they did as I had about fighting.”
Griffin placed a hand on Beau’s cheek, drawing his eyes upward again.
“I’ve been that omega,” he said carefully. “And I’ve been in my fair share of alphas’ beds. There’s no shame in that, Beau. It’s normal, natural even.”
“But you’re not mated.”
“We’re not too different, you and I.” He slipped his hand around to the back of Beau’s neck, feeling the scars there. With his other hand, he drew Beau’s fingers to the back of his neck, letting the alpha feel the tiny scars that dotted his nape.
“Why would…” Beau seemed confused.
“Like I said, I was one of those omegas, sort of. The last thing they wanted was us mating or getting pregnant. Makes it impossible for us to do our jobs.”
“How did you go from there to here?”
“That is a long story. One which I’ll share with you someday.”
They were quiet for a while, lost in their thoughts. Griffin was idly stroking his hand along Beau’s arm.
“When I’m near you,” the alpha admitted softly, “I feel the way I felt around those other omegas. But it’s stronger with you. Your scent…”
“It means we’re compatible, able to mate. Or, we would be, if we didn’t have these.” He stroked his fingers across Beau’s scars.
“They told us we were meant for other things, greater things,” Beau said, his voice quiet.
“They lied.”
Griffin headed downstairs to get breakfast, leaving Beau napping in his bed. It was still early, and he hoped to get there and back without meeting too many people. But it wasn’t to be. He found Ronan and Noah in the kitchen trying to soothe an irritable Kieran while they ate their breakfast.
“Why don’t I hold him while you eat?” he suggested as he put on the coffee machine.
Noah handed Kieran over, and Griffin rocked him back and forth for a few minutes, humming. The change seemed to help, Kieran distracted by Griffin’s scent and, presumably, Beau’s.
“He must be close to shifting,” Griffin commented, feeling the tension in the baby’s body.
“We think so,” Noah said.
“We hope so,” Ronan added, getting up from the table. “Sleep is becoming a distant memory.”
When he got closer to Griffin, he frowned.
“What?” Griffin asked.
“Beau’s scent is all over you.”
“We are living in close proximity.” It came out more defensive than he’d meant it to, and Ronan’s eyes narrowed.
“Is he sleeping in your bed?”
Griffin cursed Ronan’s perceptiveness.
“I found him sleeping on my floor last night, so I let him sleep beside me, that’s all.”
Ronan crossed his arms. “Sleeping on your floor, in your bed? He’s getting attached, Finn. Are you ready for that kind of responsibility?”
“He’s not a child,” Griffin replied hotly.
Sensing the tension, Kieran’s lower lip started to tremble. Griffin shushed him, rubbing a hand across his back.
“Is Ronan right, are you compatible?” Noah asked, getting up from the table. Kieran reached for him, and Griffin handed him over.
“It seems so, but we’ve both been… altered. Neither of us is capable of mating.”
“People said the same thing about me,” Noah replied.
“This is different. What was done to us was done deliberately, to ensure we couldn’t mate. The bastard who scarred you, he was giving in to his own sick temptations. It wasn’t a surgical procedure, like what they did to me, or a ritual, like with Beau.”
“Could you have a fulfilling relationship without mating?” Noah wondered. “If you’re both compatible, maybe that would be enough?”
“Hold on,” Ronan said. “It’s a big leap to go from they’re compatible to they should get together. A few weeks ago, Beau couldn’t hold onto his own sanity, let alone hold a conversation.”
“But he’s come a long way, hasn’t he? He’s much better now.”
“He has made progress,” Griffin agreed. “Much more than I’d expected.”
“What if that’s because of you? Maybe you’re anchoring him.”
“Anchoring…” Griffin hadn’t looked at it like that before. But all the progress Beau had made stemmed from Griffin pushing past Beau’s boundaries, closing the distance between them.
“I’m grounding him.”
“What? What are you talking about?” Ronan looked less than impressed.
Noah, however, was nodding. “Griffin’s like gravity, keeping Beau’s human side tied down. That’s why he could come back after he shifted, that’s why he didn’t turn feral.”
Griffin had missed having another omega’s perspective. And Noah, being Ronan’s mate, knew just about everything that happened in Briar Wood.
“What does that mean from here on out?”
“I guess that depends, doesn’t it?” Noah said. “On Beau’s feelings and yours.”
Ronan sat down heavily at the table. “But you don’t have the luxury of focusing solely on feelings. You have to think about what’s best for the pack, and what’s best for Beau.”
“When you and I were trying to work things out, you weren’t thinking of the pack,” Noah pointed out, coming to Griffin’s defense. “You were fully prepared to walk away over how you felt.”
“That was different. I’m not our leader.”
“And I am,” Griffin said. “I haven’t forgotten. You’re right, that makes it different.”
Ronan leaned forward, holding Griffin’s gaze. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to find happiness. We all want that for you, Griffin. If… if Beau is the person, if you and he are meant to be, we’ll support you.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that. But I do think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”
They’d only got Beau into the house a few days ago. One challenge at a time. Getting him used to sleeping in a bed again seemed like the next logical step rather than deciding whether the two of them wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.
“Start with breakfast,” Noah said, nodding to the tray Griffin had been putting together. “Everything makes more sense when you’ve got food in your stomach.”
He agreed, putting the finishing touches on breakfast, and carrying it upstairs. Food was becoming like a ritual to him and Beau. They’d made their first connection through food, the language they had both understood when nothing else worked.