Chapter Thirty-Three
It was growing dark by the time they arrived back at Briar House. Beau helped a tired Griffin out of the car, the omega coming back to full alertness in the cool night air. Damien followed them up to their rooms to give Griffin the second injection and told them to call him anytime during the night if they needed him. Then he was gone and they were alone again.
“Do you want something to eat?” Beau offered.
His mate shook his head. “I just want to sleep.”
Doctor Mac had warned them that the injections would make him tired.
“Bed it is so.”
They took turns in the bathroom, and Beau did one walk around their rooms, checking the doors and windows. With his mate in such a vulnerable condition, his bear paced under his skin, insistent on keeping Griffin safe. He returned to their bedroom to find the omega curled up under the blankets. He got in next to him and Griffin latched onto him, pressing close. He was used to his mate being more self-contained. This new, clingy Griffin would take some getting used to. He buried his nose in the omega’s hair, drinking in his scent while wrapping his arms around him in a loose hold. He wanted to support him not constrict him.
“Thank you,” Griffin murmured.
“For what?” Beau wondered.
“Everything,” his mate said, yawning as his eyes fluttered closed. “Everything.”
Griffin was asleep within minutes, but Beau wasn’t ready to let his guard down. He stayed awake as it grew later, watching over Griffin, reassuring himself that his mate was okay with every beat of his heart, with every soft breath. He fell asleep an hour before dawn, Griffin safe in his arms.
He woke to an empty bed and a deep pit of dread in his stomach. There was the scent of blood in the air, and he sat up, frantic when he saw the covers thrown back on Griffin’s side of the bed and a dark stain on the sheets.
“Finn!”
The bathroom door was shut, and he ran for it. It didn’t open when he tried the handle.
“Finn?” he shouted again, fear coursing through him. He heard movement within the bathroom and was moments away from putting his shoulder to the door when he heard a dragging sound, and the door pulled open.
A pale, tear-stained face met his as Griffin peered around the door.
“It’s over, Beau,” he said quietly, a few more tears slipping free.
“I’ll get Damien.”
“No. It’s early yet. There’s no need to bother him.”
Beau tried to step through the door but Griffin didn’t let him.
“Let me help.”
The omega shook his head. “There’s nothing you can do. I just need a bit of time.”
“I can-”
“Beau, please.” He’d never heard that tone in Griffin’s voice before. It frightened him even more than the bloodstain on their bed.
“What do you need?”
“Some space, to deal with… things. Could you go out to the lounge? I’ll join you when I’m ready.”
Beau really didn’t think leaving Griffin alone at a time like this was a good idea and tried to work out the best way to say so.
“Please,” Griffin said again. “You asked me what I need, and I’m telling you.”
Beau pressed a hand against the door, swallowed hard, and nodded.
“Okay. But I’ll be keeping an ear out. And coming to check on you. And I’m calling Damien now, not later. Your well-being comes first.”
“Okay,” Griffin finally agreed. He looked so sad, so small, that Beau wanted nothing more than to push his way past the door and take him into his arms. But that was what he wanted. Not what Griffin needed.
“The second you call me, I’ll be there,” he promised.
Griffin gave him a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you.”
The bathroom door shut, leaving Beau alone in their bedroom. He stood there immobile at first, wondering how he’d gained and lost so much so quickly. Then he forced his mind to turn to the practical, yanking the sheets off the bed and replacing them with clean ones. Griffin would need to sleep soon, he didn’t want him to walk out to yet another reminder of his loss. Their loss, he told himself.
He remade the bed, then went outside to call Damien, then Ronan. Reluctantly, he did as Griffin asked and went to the lounge. What was usually his room of quiet contemplation seemed loud and full of echoes.
Damien had come and gone, insisting on seeing Griffin himself but seeming satisfied with his condition.
“I’m sorry, Beau,” he said as he left. “We all knew this was the likeliest outcome, but… it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“No,” Beau agreed hollowly. “It doesn’t.”
By mid-morning, it seemed word had spread through the pack. No one bar Ronan and Noah disturbed their peace. The latter looked anxious to see Griffin but equally as anxious that his visible pregnancy would be a source of distress. Ronan was grim but stoic, asking Beau to tell Griffin that all their work for the next few days was in good hands.
It was nearing midday when Griffin appeared in the doorway. He was wearing sleep pants and one of Beau’s T-shirts, his arms wrapped around his stomach. Beau sat up.
“Griffin?”
“I’m okay.” The words were a meaningless refrain. None of this was okay.
“What do you need?”
“I don’t know.” Griffin seemed almost surprised at the words that fell from his mouth. The usually so sure and confident omega seemed lost. “Could you… hold me?”
Beau was on his feet in an instant, closing the distance between them. He had his arms open, ready to envelop his mate in a hug when he thought better of it.
“Are you sore?”
“A little.”
He kept his grip gentle as he drew Griffin into an embrace. The omega was a bit stiff in his arms but he came willingly, sighing as their bodies touched.
“I’m sorry,” the omega mumbled, his voice thick with tears. “I wanted so much to do this for you, to give you this.”
Beau didn’t need to hear any more, the exhaustion in Griffin’s voice plain as day.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing.”
He lifted Griffin into his arms and carried him back to bed. Laying him down, he climbed in beside him, leaning in to catch Griffin’s face in his hands.
“I’m sorry that you have to go through this. If I could take this pain as my own, I would.”
“It was stupid to hope when everything told us it was hopeless.”
Beau kissed the tears from his cheeks. “Hope is never stupid. I’m glad that we shared this. Even if it was only for a few hours.”
That only made Griffin cry harder. Beau knew the time for talking was over. He couldn’t soothe this hurt with words. Instead, he drew Griffin into his arms, holding him close and rocking him as the cries turned to sobs that tore at his heart. His own tears came later, once Griffin had fallen asleep, as he mourned what they had lost.