Chapter Thirty-Four
Griffin had learned long ago that the best way to deal with difficult emotions was to throw himself into work. He got up early the next morning, went into his office, and started his day as if nothing had happened.
Footsteps heralded the arrival of Beau. The alpha didn’t say anything, just took a seat opposite Griffin and sat quietly while he read paperwork and made phone calls. Two hours passed, then three. He got up, and Beau sprang to his feet.
“Beau, I don’t need you hovering around me. Go see Mark, find something to do.”
“But I should-”
“You should give me some space. We both have to move past this. How can I with you sitting there, staring at me all day? You’re not a lap dog, I don’t need you getting under my feet.”
He regretted the words as soon as he’d said them but the damage was done, hurt flashing across Beau’s face before a mask of nothingness covered it up. The alpha turned and left the room. Griffin fell back into his seat and listened to his footsteps fade into the distance. His phone rang, and he answered it, pushing back the emotions that threatened to drown him.
Lunch came and went but he didn’t stop, determined to catch up on what he’d fallen behind on the past few weeks. The pack came first. Somehow, in all that had happened, he’d forgotten that.
He was so engrossed in his work that he startled when a plate was set down on his desk. Expecting Beau, he was surprised to see Ronan.
“Beau-” the alpha started to say.
“Is helping Mark,” Griffin replied.
“No, he’s not. He’s out walking around the woods. Quinn’s keeping an eye on him, but he does not want company.”
“Does he seem okay?”
Ronan raised an eyebrow at that. “He looks lost. No surprise given what two have been through.”
“It might be more to do with me kicking him out of my office this morning. I might have compared him to a dog.”
“Ouch.” The alpha sat down opposite him. “You know there’s nothing urgent to be done right now. I’ve got a handle on it. You and Beau can take the time-”
“Working is good for me. Sitting around feeling sad is not a good use of my time.”
“And Beau?” Ronan asked. “Where does he fit in this decision?”
Griffin stayed silent, and Ronan sat forward, his elbows on his knees, hands cupped under his chin.
“Do you blame Beau? If it wasn’t for his rut, if he hadn’t bitten you, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“No, of course I don’t blame him.”
“Does he know that?”
The word yes was on his lips and yet… was he sure? The last two days had been a whirlwind, and he’d pushed Beau away almost as often as he’d clung to him.
“I should go talk to him.”
“Yeah, you should.” Ronan hesitated. “Noah wants to see you, but he doesn’t want to upset you.”
Griffin scrubbed a tired hand across his face.
“Noah is probably the most inoffensive person I’ve ever met. How on earth would he…”
And then he got it. Noah was afraid of rubbing his very obvious pregnancy in Griffin’s face.
“…tell him I’d very much like to see him. You know how happy I am that things have worked out so well for you both.”
“We hope the same for you and Beau.”
“It might help if I didn’t kick the poor guy to the curb every time things get too much for me.”
“You’re used to being self-reliant. A habit of a lifetime won’t change overnight.”
Griffin got to his feet, and Ronan walked with him out into the garden.
“Quinn said he was over that way, near the stream,” Ronan said, pointing.
“Thanks. I’ll track him down.”
The walk through the woods gave him time to think about what he would say once he found Beau. Asking for forgiveness seemed like the best place to start.
He found Beau pacing in a clearing, just like that first time he’d run into the woods. Thankfully, on this occasion, he was still in human form.
“Beau?”
The alpha went perfectly still, his hands clenched into fists, his shoulders hunched. Griffin hated that his voice had that effect on his mate.
Beau turned to look at him, then walked the short distance that divided them and went to his knees at Griffin’s feet, his head down.
“I’m sorry.”
Griffin stared down at the top of his head in horror before kneeling too.
“No, Beau. You’re not the one who should be asking for forgiveness right now.”
He waited for the alpha to lift his head, but Beau continued to stare at the ground.
“I’m sorry for what I said this morning and for pushing you away. It wasn’t fair to take it out on you like that. Please, Beau. Forgive me.”
That got Beau to look up, the alpha looking stricken at his words.
“None of this is your fault.”
“It isn’t yours, either,” Griffin insisted. “Can you forgive me, for being so unkind?”
“You’re just hurting,” the alpha said softly.
“We both are.”
Their knees were touching and yet Griffin felt like they were very far apart. He’d done that, put that distance between them, in an effort to hide from his pain.
He leaned forward, letting their foreheads touch. Beau’s nose rubbed against his, the gesture a familiar and comforting one.
“Can I hold you?”
“Would you?” he whispered in reply. Having Beau so close made him ache for the alpha.
Strong arms encircled him, pulling them close until their upper bodies were flush against each other. Griffin wrapped his arms around Beau in turn, knowing the alpha needed comfort just as much as he did.
He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, just holding each other and breathing in each other’s scents. But it was Beau who moved first, kissing his cheek.
“It’s getting cold out here. There’s rain on the wind. We should head in.”
Griffin was reluctant to agree, he liked being out in the open. But, at the same time, he didn’t want to give Beau cause to worry. The alpha wanted to do what alphas did for their omega mates.
“Next time,” he said. “I’ll bring an umbrella.”
Beau lifted him to his feet, and the two of them stood looking at one another for a long moment before hugging again.
“I can give you space,” the alpha murmured, “if that’s what you need.”
“And what do you need?”
“I need to know, to feel, that you’re okay.”
There was a crash of thunder above them, and they both glanced up as lightning flashed across the sky.
“Let’s get inside.”
But it was too late. The skies opened, and rain poured down. They were drenched within seconds as they ran through the trees for the house. As they reached the door, Beau ushered him inside. They paused in the entryway, rainwater dripping from them and onto the floor.
“I hadn’t planned on going swimming,” the alpha joked before frowning. “We should get you out of those wet clothes.”
They trekked back up to their rooms, heading straight for the bathroom. Griffin started the shower running, turning to find Beau had already stripped off his soaked clothing. The alpha then reached for his T-shirt, lifting it up and off his head. His pants were next, the wet material peeling off his thighs. Once they were both naked, Beau guided him into the shower and under the hot stream of water. The alpha stepped away, and Griffin grabbed for him, catching hold of his wrist.
“Stay close, please.”
Beau smiled. “I’m just getting a washcloth. Hold tight.”
He leaned against the shower wall, letting the heat and steam chase away the chill, watching Beau step inside and shut the door, the steam billowing around them. The alpha soaked the cloth in his hand and added soap.
“Turn around,” he told Griffin.
Griffin put his back to Beau, bracing one arm against the wall and leaning his forehead against it. The cloth pressed against the nape of his neck, and he sighed, groaning as the alpha washed his shoulders, then his back, his touch just the right side of firm while still being tender.
Beau drew him back into the center of the shower, washing the suds from his skin before hugging him from behind, one hand reaching around to wash his stomach. The alpha didn’t talk as he worked, his attention focused on his task. It soothed them both, and Griffin was happy to lean back against Beau and let the alpha care for him.
Once clean and warm, they got out, stumbling to the bedroom, both exhausted even though it was still early. Beau carefully dried every inch of his skin before pulling one of his own T-shirts over Griffin’s head. The alpha stayed naked, climbing into bed next to him, their skin touching in as many places as the alpha could manage. It left him cocooned in his alpha’s arms. The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was Beau’s quiet voice, almost as if the alpha was talking to himself.
“If it happened once, maybe it could happen again.”
He patted Beau’s hand where it lay against his hip, and the alpha heaved a long sigh, his nose nuzzling Finn’s neck.