I did many more half-twists before we moved on to full-twists. The first few half-twists surprised me, and my leg flew out to the side a time or two. I was loose. Kova steadied me and a second later we were moving again. We both stayed silent except for Kova's counting. When I jumped, he jerked me both left and right since the requirements for balance beam called for elements turning in both directions. Naturally, I favored one side more than the other, all my tumbling started with my left leg, but with gymnastics, we had to work both sides for it to count. Once he was satisfied, he had me climb back up on the high beam and complete the drill without him. A few times I shook, but I stuck it and thankfully didn't fall. Back flips and front flips were a piece of cake on the balance beam, but any turns, leaps, or jumps, and there wasn't one gymnast who hasn't wobbled. It was always the damn turns that inevitably got us.

"Okay, let us break for some water, use the restroom if you need. Come back here in two minutes."

I nodded and took off for the ladies' room to quickly relieve myself. Then I grabbed a bottle of water from my duffle bag and took a hefty swig and recapped it. Hearing and feeling any liquid move and swish around in my stomach bothered me. I just needed enough to hold me over until I got home.

I made my way back to the balance beam and spotted Kova pacing the floor with his cell phone pressed to his ear. He was speaking in his native tongue. Even though I had not one iota of what he was saying, the rise and fall of his clipped words, the bite in his tone, the hardened look on his face, along with his whitened knuckles told me he was arguing with his girlfriend again. Probably because he was here with me.

Kova's voice rose one last time before he pulled the phone away and hung up on her. I could hear her high-pitched voice until the last second. He took a deep breath and released a ragged sigh when his phone started ringing again. He silenced it, then dropped it to the floor facedown.

I stood next to the balance beam, casually swinging one leg forward and backward as I waited uncomfortably. There was nothing I could say to make his situation better, mainly because I had no idea what the hell they had talked about, but also because it was just an awkward situation all around.

Clearing his throat, he strode up next to me and stared off to the side, lost in thought.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Kova scowled.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"If you need to go home, you can. I don't plan to stay all day anyway."

"It is not up for discussion," he snapped.

I looked at him and felt the tension radiating from his body. "I'm serious, Kova. You should go home to keep the peace. I feel bad."

He scoffed. "Please. You do not feel bad."

I shrugged. I really didn't.

"Place one hand on the beam and the other out to the side." Kova moved to stand on the opposite side of me, behind my shoulders. "You are going to swing your leg forward, back, and then forward."

I sighed and did the motions as he spoke. I knew by familiarity with how slowly he enunciated the words that he wanted me to complete them. So I did. I just wished there wasn't this awkward tension between us now.

"No, do not bend it. Here, give me your leg." I lifted my leg behind me. Using one hand, he held my calf and raised my leg, his other hand gripped my shoulder closest to the beam, and draped his forearm across my clavicle to press my chest back toward my leg behind me.

"The key is to lay your shoulders back, relax them"—he shook me a bit to loosen me up—"because we want your shoulders to meet your hamstring. No, do not bend it. Just lift it for now." He glanced down. "Relevé. Yes, perfect. Gymnasts have a bad habit of dropping the knee to the side. It is ugly and looks like a dog peeing. We do not ever want that. We want grace and beauty. Effortless, elegant gymnastics. Now, bend." I bent my knee and spotted my toes. My foot was so close it could touch my forehead. "This. Feel your body? Feel the position you are in? How it is like a ring? This is where we want you. It will make a world of difference points wise with your ring leap and sheep jump. If your head is up and not relaxed, you will get a tenth of a deduction. We want your head almost touching your foot. In order to get to this, we will work on your swing, then bending of the knee. Once we get your ring kick mastered, it will help tremendously."

Kova slowly let go of my leg and I dropped it to the side. I glanced at him. "We are doing both sides, correct?"

"Of course."

I nodded and then started up, just kicking front to back without bending my knee. I knew this was to prep for my jumps and leaps. If I could stick the skills beautifully, any balance check I made could counteract it.

Because let's face it, I knew a balance check or two would happen.

With every kick, Kova guided me. He sped me up and slowed me down. He made sure I was precise and performed to the best of my ability. He corrected my arms and hands, making sure they were back and inverted, not out. He took time out to stretch my shoulders too, made them a little more elastic and said he'd do it before each practice as well. He had me practice the jumps on the floor using a piece of white tape as my balance beam.

And the entire time his brows stayed pinched together and his forehead creased with lines. I knew he was trying not to think of his phone call.

"Move on to sheep jumps."

I nodded. A sheep jump required me to keep my bent knees glued together as I jumped and arched my back, making sure my toes just about tapped my forehead. And of course, a relaxed head. I needed to create a circle with my body.

After I completed ten, Kova scowled in disgust, and said, "Your knees are coming apart. Put some chalk between your thighs."

He picked up a bright yellow stretchy tension band while I powdered the inside of my legs to keep them dry. He had me step into the thick elastic and pulled it up to my knees. The band was used to help retain position for numerous skills and drills. Right now it served to keep my legs together.

Kova looked at me and nodded, then dropped his eyes to watch my legs.

"Jump," he ordered.

In mid-flight, I could tell I tried to separate my knees by the pull in my outer thighs. It was unintentional and I had no idea I was even doing it.

"You felt that, did you not?" Kova demanded, his eyes hard.

"I did."

"Now you know. Your head is relaxed nicely, but we want your legs tight and closed. Let us do another ten."

After ten, he said, "Ten more."

When I finished, I was breathing heavily, but I made sure not to show any kind of sluggishness.

"Up on beam and do them."

Since I had the band around my knees still, Kova stepped behind me to help me mount the apparatus. He placed his hands on my hips to hoist me up. Swiveling to the front, I moved into the jump. In air, my heart dropped into my stomach. I was nervous that if I shook I wouldn't be able to catch myself because of the tension band around my legs.

"Again. And relax your head."

Steadying my nerves, I focused on something to spot. Then I jumped and placed my arms out to brace myself.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked in displeasure.

"What do you mean?"

"You are shaking up there. You look like an amateur."

My jaw dropped. "Forgive me, but I'm not used to tape around my knees. I need to get used to it."

Kova tilted his head to the side and raised a pointed brow. He was annoyed with my response. "Get used to it, now," he said, low and controlled, using his index finger to point at the floor. "Get used to it, now."

Flattening my lips, I nodded hastily. Swinging my arms down to gain power, I put everything into the jump. With my hips squared with my shoulders, I let go and relaxed my head, arching my back as much as I could humanly manage, and tried to spot my toes. Coming down, I landed with both feet and squeezed every muscle I could in an effort to not wobble.

"Excellent. Only do not come down sounding like a goddamned elephant. You cannot weigh more than one hundred pounds soaking wet, if that. Act like a feather delicately floating down. We want elegance."

I ground my jaw. "Yes, sir." I didn't look his way, but I saw a smirk dazzle his face for a split second from the corner of my eye. It was the first hint of something other than brooding since he spoke to Katja and that made me happy.

"What was that?" he bit out after I jumped.

I glanced down. "What?"

"That noise?"

I dropped my arms to my sides. "What noise?"

He squinted his eyes. "Did you grunt up there?" he asked calmly.

I bit down on the inside of my lip. "No."

Kova stepped closer to the balance beam and leaned in like he was listening for a pin to drop.

"Do it again."

Looking for a spot on the wall to focus on, I swung my arms down and moved into the sheep jump. Coming down, I took note in how I landed and tried to appear as graceful as possible.

"There it is. You did it again!" he yelled in shock. But he looked mostly disgusted and that made me flinch.

"What am I doing?" I responded, exasperated by his attitude.

His eyes were huge orbs. "You are grunting when you jump, as if you are exerting yourself to the max. Like you are out of shape and cannot run twenty feet in front of you. It sounds horrible, not to mention embarrassing."

"I honestly had no idea I was."

His brows lifted in disbelief. "You mean to tell me that you cannot feel or hear that god awful sound come out of you?"

I shook my head. "No, I can't."

"I do not believe you. Do it again. Come on. Get moving." He rushed me with his hand movements.

Taking a deep breath, I exhaled nervously and sent up a silent prayer before I jumped.

And heard it.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I snuck a glance at Kova, which was a huge mistake. He looked like he was ready to climb up on the beam and kill me.

"Do you have Tourette's?"

"What? No. You know I don't."

"You sound like a pig. Is that what you want the judges to hear?"

"Of course not."

"Then control it. If you must put so much into the jump that you have to grunt, then you are doing it wrong. You are exerting yourself way too much."

I nodded and tried to figure out how the hell I would control a sound coming out of me I hadn’t realized I was making until now.

"Think about the breathing techniques and go from there. Do not hold your breath when you jump. This is all basic shit you should already know," he mumbled, running a hand down his face. His eyes were bloodshot and I felt bad.

Two hours later I had finally stopped making the sound, and we moved on to handstands for another hour before he called it a day.

I. Was. Drained.

I was beyond sore and tired, and my muscles ached.

When I planned to come in today, I had it all mapped out. I was going to designate a specific amount of time to each event, work on skills I knew needed attention, follow up with intense conditioning and drills, and then end with a run.

Then Kova had showed up and blew my plans to shit.