Footfalls drew closer and I clutched my leotard in my fist. I huddled in a corner under the desk and covered my mouth just as the door flew open and banged against the wall.

"Konstantin?" Katja bawled. My breath caught in my throat. "Konstantin?" she said again. I wished I could see what was happening.

"Hmmm…" Kova sounded groggy.

"Wake up. Wake up. What are you doing?" she questioned, a shuffling noise followed.

He yawned, faking sleep. "Katja? What is going on?" I rest assured a little, not completely, that he pulled off the act. I was still naked under his desk and afraid to move my hand in fear of a sound accidently escaping me. That'd be my luck.

"What time is it?" he asked sleepily.

"I have been calling you, texting you. I did not know where you were. I worried for you."

"Where else would I be but here?"

She continued to whine and it started to grate on my nerves. "Why did you not come home? I waited hours—"

"I had work to do, Katja," he said, his voice abrasive as steel wool. "How many times have I told you that I cannot just leave when everyone else leaves. I cannot leave when you want me to. I own a company, I have an overhead. Money does not grow on trees, you know. Someone has to do the books."

"I know that but—" She paused. "What is that mark on your neck? Is that… Is that a hickey?" A stiff tone replaced her saccharine one.

My eyes widened and I cupped my mouth harder.

"I missed the high bar during my workout. I fell, just barely catching myself," Kova growled. "I had a shitty night, Kat. I decided it was best I finish early and came in here to do paperwork, but I fell asleep."

Katja transitioned to her native tongue. Words like velvet fell from her lips that I assumed were terms of endearment.

"Whose car is outside?"

Fuck! I'd completely forgotten my SUV was parked out front. I really hoped this conversation would end soon so I could get out from under here and go home. The problem was, I was afraid to leave the building knowing Katja could be nearby, but I also didn’t want to leave alone in the middle of the night either. In fact, I didn't even know what time it was.

"What?" he questioned.

"A car is outside. Is there someone else here with you?"

"At this hour? No, I did not know there was a car there. What does it look like?" he asked, playing dumb. Katja described it, and Kova said, "Ah, that is Adrianna's. She had a late practice, then went home with one of the team girls."

"You worked her too hard," Katja said sympathetically. I almost laughed. Damn right he fucking did.

"Then I did my job." Kova said each word with gratification, and I smiled.

"Have you ever considered that maybe she is not as talented as you think?" Katja hesitated. "Just because she wants to go to the Olympics does not mean she is qualified to. She seems… I do not know the right word…mediocre."

My heart ached at her question. A thousand different kinds of insecurities slammed into me at once and I questioned whether I was good enough. I wanted to leave. I felt like an intruder listening in on their conversation and I didn't want to hear any more.

"I would never put my time and effort into someone who was mediocre. I know God given talent when I see it, and Adrianna has it." Kova turned defensive. "She is brilliant, artistic, and imaginative. There is nothing even remotely mediocre about her. Mark my words, she is a rare pearl that is about to shine in the gymnastics world."

I was flabbergasted he spoke about me in such a way to his girlfriend.

"But how much more extra time is she going to steal from me with you? How much more time are you going to devote to this gym over me?" Katja whined. She'd never understand what gymnastics meant to people like me and Kova. "I should be your number one priority, but as always, I am last on the totem pole."

"A lot more actually," Kova bit back. "A bunch of the teammates have extra sessions coming up, it is competition season, as you know. I have told you this a hundred times."

"It is late. I did not mean to upset you." Katja’s voice gentled. "How about we go home now?"

Yes! Go home. What a grand idea.

"I will go home when I am ready."

I scoffed at his stubbornness.

"What was that?"

Oh God. I bit down on my knuckles.

"What was what?" Kova acted clueless.

"I just heard a noise…" Katja’s words lingered in the air.

"Oh that? It was me. I, ah, was adjusting myself and kicked my phone by accident."

"You are aroused." Her voice took on a seductive tone that made my stomach curl with nausea.

"You know it is hard when I wake."

"Let me take care of that for you."

I closed my eyes and prayed for them to leave already.

"Not necessary. Let us go home now."

"No, I insist," she said. My heartbeat thundered in my ears; no way would Kova allow anything sexual to happen, not with me in the room, or with my remnants on him.

"Katja," he growled.

"Konstantin. Baby, you know all you have to do is call me and I would run over."

"Katja," he warned over a rustling sound. "Now is not the time."

"Since when?" she teased.

"I am serious," he barked. "Go home and I will meet you there. I just need to lock up; I will be right behind you."

She was quiet for a moment. "What is going on with you?" This was the first time I truly ever heard Katja angry. "You have not let me touch you in weeks like this. Do you not want me anymore?"

I perked up. Kova remained abstinent for weeks? Why?

"It has nothing to do with you. I have been under an enormous amount of stress. I am really feeling the pressure right now. That is all."

Each word was clipped and short. If he was telling the truth, I wished he'd open to me the way he opened up to her so easily. It was like pulling teeth to get him to communicate with me.

"You act like you do not want me anymore," she said with a note of dejection in her voice. I almost felt bad for her. Almost.

He sighed deeply. "You know that is not the case. I just have a lot going on."

"It has been a while for us and I need you," she whined again. I wished she'd stop doing that.

"No, now is not the time."

"Did you just push my hand away?" she said, enraged. My jaw dropped. Pushed her hand away from what exactly?

"Yes, I did. Now go home, Katja, I will be there soon."

"I do not understand why now is not the time. You say it is not me, yet you will not let me touch you or give you the release you so clearly need. You ignore me for hours on end, you stay at work late, you come home when I am sleeping, and leave before I wake. To a woman, the signs are all there, Konstantin."

"Nothing is there, I promise, sweetheart," he said, softening his voice. "You are reading into it too much."

Nothing is there. The nothing being me. I was nothing. I wasn't naive, I knew he couldn't say anything else, but the way he spoke it stung my heart in a hundred different places.

"You work so hard… I just want to help you," she offered, and the rustling sound I heard moments ago returned. "I love you, you know."

"I know you do, and I love you. Just please, go. Let me lock up and I will follow right after."

Katja switched over to Russian. Just when I thought he convinced her to leave, I heard the unmistakable sounds of clothes shuffling, a faint moan, and a sound I wasn't prepared for.

Slurping. Wet, sloppy, slurping. My stomach flipped and I swallowed down the bile in my throat.

This couldn't be happening.

"You taste different," she said. I paled at the repugnance in her voice. This time I actually felt bad for her. She was licking me off him and didn’t know it.

"I sweat a lot while I work out. How about we wait until I get home to shower and then we can pick up where we left off, yeah?"

"I do not mind," she said sweetly. "This is just a little of what is to come."

"Katja, please," he begged.

After a moment’s silence I heard a long slurp and a pop, followed by an incoherent moan that had to have come from her.

"Katja…" he growled, his voice was deep and guttural.

I had to see for myself what she did to him. If she was on her knees like I assumed she was, then her back would be to me.

I peeked around the corner of the desk, careful not to make a sound.

Kova was on the couch with his legs spread wide and Katja between his thighs. As if he sensed me watching, he looked up and locked eyes with mine.

A deep sigh expelled from his lips and he sank further into the couch. His mouth parted in bliss. "Yes," he drawled out, and pushed her head down on him. He pumped his hips harder into her face, not breaking eye contact with me. Her gulping moans filled the room, and her nails dug into his thighs in almost the exact places where my marks could be seen.

Kova fisted her hair and gritted his teeth. His facial expression was stuck somewhere in between remorse, pleasure, and guilt. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was the fact that he wasn't carnal in the way he was with me, and I found solace in that. Still, there was no way to mask the hurt written all over my face, and I let him see it.

Three more rough thrusts, then Kova pulled Katja's head back.

"I cannot fucking do this!" he bellowed and quickly put his dick back in his pants. Katja wiped her mouth and they both stood.

I backed up and returned to my dark hole and waited.

"For as long as it has been, I am surprised you are able to hold it right now," Katja mused, and I could hear the coy smile in her voice.

"Please. That should not be a surprise to you."

"Hmm…" she said, like she was recalling something in her mind.

Kova came twice earlier, his semen was still inside me after I begged for us to finish together. God… I don't know what I was thinking. I lost my common sense when we were alone.

Their footsteps drew closer. My heart raced and I held my breath.

Something dragged across the desk over my head, and I heard the clanking of keys. "Get your shit and let us go," Kova mumbled under his breath. "Hurry the fuck up, Katja. You got what you wanted, as always," he spat. Then they both left his office.

I burrowed into the floor, holding my stomach, and fighting back the tears. My jaw trembled and I rolled my lips between my teeth, sniffling. I stayed in a tight ball trying to pretend this never happened. That the words Kova spoke earlier, with his passionate touch and persuasive words, to what we shared, and what I just witnessed, was nothing but a figment of my imagination. Otherwise, I was that stupid girl who never learned and always went back to the boy who wrecked her heart time and time again. And I didn't like that. Seeing Katja on her knees in front of Kova was upsetting, but seeing him take pleasure in me while I watched them was something I couldn't process. It hurt, that I knew, but this was a more profound kind of hurt that was deep seeded. I didn't know what to call it or how to explain it.

I remained hidden under his desk long enough to wallow in self-pity before I had the courage to poke my head out. I quickly pulled my leotard on and waited a bit longer before heading to the door. I stood and strained my ears, listening for any little sound. The phone on Kova’s desk rang loud, the jarring sound made me jump.

There was no reason for anyone to call this late at night, so I figured it was Kova giving me a signal to leave. I fled from his office and ran to the gym where I’d left my bag. Then I threw on my sweats and stormed out to my Escalade.

I dug my cell phone from my bag and noticed I had two text messages from Kova.

It was two in the morning by the time I got home. Distraught and queasy, I took the hottest shower my skin would withstand while I cried under the streaming water.

The night had been so high at one point but then took a drastic turn. Deep down, I didn’t believe Kova would purposely inflict pain on me, not after the way we had been together. But he sure as hell didn’t try hard enough to stop her either, especially when he saw me.

I got out of the shower and dried off. Not bothering with clothes, I climbed between the bedsheets naked. Tears continued to run down my face as I pulled the comforter to my chin. Tonight had shattered parts of me I didn't know were so fragile. My mind kept replaying the image of Katja on her knees, Kova's hands fisted in her hair, and his eyes on me. My emotions were a disaster of a mess, and I knew I'd never be able to talk to Kova about this, because talking about it would mean I'd have to relive it. Truth was, I didn't even know if I wanted to talk to him. There was nothing he could say or do to make the hurt go away.