I ENDED UP SLEEPING UNTIL about noon and ate a banana before going out on my usual run to the marina. Sliding on a pair of black yoga pants and a green tank top, I put my hair up into a high ponytail and laced up my running shoes. The day was overcast with only a small chill to the breeze, except it was still sort of bright even with the sun in hiding. After locking the door and strapping my keys and my cell phone to the belt around my waist, I took off down the road. I loved listening to the sounds around me when I ran instead of listening to music; it gave me peace and inspiration.
Once I ran down to the marina and looped back around to my house, my muscles were tired and I was drenched in sweat. Sitting on the steps in front of my house, I closed my eyes and took deep, calming breaths to get my heart rate back to normal. Once my heart rate slowed, I got to my feet and pulled out my house key and phone. The screen on my phone read that I had one missed text message from … Caleb.
It was actually Kyle, but I had his number stored as Caleb. What the hell did he want? I wondered, groaning as I read it.
Kyle: Special delivery
Special Delivery? What does that mean?
I supposed the answer to that question was the large brown envelope sitting by the front door to my house with nothing else on it other than my name. If the envelope was on my porch and Kyle just texted me, that meant he was close by. Scanning the area around me, I didn’t see him, but then again I didn’t know what kind of car he drove.
“And so it begins,” I mumbled to myself. “What have you got for me, Kyle?”
Cautiously, I picked up the envelope and put it under my arm while I unlocked the door. It felt like a stack of papers or pictures. Should I open it, or take it outside and burn the whole envelope, hoping he’s watching? That would be the ultimate ‘fuck you, I don’t care’ statement.
Stalling, I placed the envelope on the kitchen counter and grabbed a bottle of water since I was thirsty from my run. So many things ran through my mind as I sat there staring at that mysterious package. One thing was for certain, it was going to me make angry no matter what it was. Turning the envelope over, I slid my finger underneath the seal and took a deep breath before reaching my hand inside and grasping the contents it held.
When I pulled them out there was a letter on top, and almost instantly the blood rushed out of my face when I read the words. I closed my eyes, hoping I could forget what it said, but I could still see them … burned in my memory. Matt knew I didn’t like his past, and I hated that it bothered me, but now it was staring at me in the face.
Shelby,
I thought you’d like to know what kind of guy you’re fucking, love. It seems like all of the others loved getting a piece of him, too. How does it feel to know his dick was inside each and every one of them?
~K
“What the …” I gasped.
It felt like my heart had literally been ripped in two, while my stomach was crushed and beaten on the floor. Screw you, Kyle, I screamed in my mind. With my eyes closed, I grabbed up the papers and stayed frozen to my chair. I knew I couldn’t throw it all away because if I ever needed evidence on Kyle’s psychotic behavior I’d have it. Finally, when I opened my eyes, I was appalled at what I saw behind the letter.
I only got through three pictures before the banana I ate this morning and the bottle of water I drank decided it was best to come out. Rushing to the trash can, I gagged and threw up everything I had in my stomach before sagging to the floor. Don’t cry, Shelby, it’s just photos, I repeated to myself. However, the first one I saw wasn’t just an ordinary photo. It was of Matt literally having sex with another girl. She was holding onto a chair while he was behind her, and he was …
I knew I shouldn’t cry, but I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. It was one thing to know that Matt had screwed a bunch of different women, but it was also another thing to actually see it in front of me. Yesterday it was a girl from his gym, now it was a damn envelope jam-packed with pictures of him doing God knows what with them. There was no way I could stomach looking through them all. The first three pictures were enough to last a lifetime.
It was disgusting to think that his lips had been on so many women, that his hands had touched them, and that he found enjoyment in screwing them all. What if he didn’t wear condoms every time?
“Shit, shit, shit,” I screamed over and over.
This is all a ploy to get you angry at Matt, I tried reasoning with myself.
Kyle was doing it so I would break up with Matt in hopes that it would affect his fighting. I hated to admit it, but if Kyle wanted me angry he succeeded. I refused to let him get the best of me, but what the hell was I going to do? If I called Matt and told him he would be livid, but if I didn’t tell him and he found out about it he would be even more pissed. The only problem was that I had no idea what he would do when he found out.
I wish I knew the right thing to do.
AFTER TAKING A SHOWER, I passed out on my bed and slept for what had to be at least four hours. I knew Matt wouldn’t be calling because he was with his sister, so I wasn’t worried about him trying to get a hold of me. My main concern was trying to avoid Kyle. I wanted to call him and just go off, but I couldn’t. It would only make things worse.
Wrapping myself in a blanket, I curled up on the couch with my leftover chocolate strawberries while watching The Phantom of the Opera. It was one of my favorite movies, and any time I could watch Gerard Butler on screen it would always put me in a better mood. I needed something to get my mind off of Matt and those pictures.
Just when the movie was getting to one of the good parts, I almost fell off of the couch when someone beat against the door with a loud, thundering knock. I waited for whoever it was to go away, knowing very well it could be Kyle trying to rub salt in the wounds. However, whoever it was didn’t want to go away. Another loud knock came … then another.
“Shelby,” Matt shouted, knocking again, “open up the door!”
Gasping, I froze in place and stared at the door, not knowing what to do. I wasn’t ready to see him, or talk to him for that matter, but I knew I couldn’t ignore him.
Keeping my blanket wrapped around me, I tiptoed to the door and took a deep breath before opening it wide. Matt paced along the front porch, breathing hard with his jaw clenched tight and fumbling with his phone. As soon as his gaze lifted to mine, he immediately stalked toward me. “What the fuck, Shelby, I’ve been calling you all damn afternoon. Why didn’t you answer? I was worried about you.”
When I didn’t answer, he stepped past me and I shut the door. Wrapped in a blanket with my hair a tangled mess, Matt blew out a relieved sigh once he got a better look at me. “Oh, baby, you don’t look so good. Are you sick?” he asked, folding his arms around me.
“Yeah,” I answered halfheartedly. “I slept most of the afternoon. I didn’t think you would call, so I turned my phone off.”
Kissing the top of my head, he squeezed me harder before letting go. “Angel, I’m so sorry for getting angry and acting like an idiot. It’s not like you to not answer my calls, and with everything going on I got worried. Do you need me to fix you something to eat, or to get you some medicine?” he said sheepishly.
“No, I’m fine. Where’s Gabriella? Aren’t you supposed to be with her right now?”
Nonchalantly, he shrugged and furrowed his brows in concern. “I am, but when you didn’t answer your phone I had to make sure you were all right.”
Averting my gaze—because it felt like he could see right through me—I walked over to the living room and grabbed my phone off the coffee table. As soon as I turned it on, it beeped nonstop with messages. A couple were from Jace and Lexi, but all of the others were from Matt. Sighing, I put my phone in the pocket of my pajama pants, turned my back on him, and sat down on the couch. I didn’t want Matt to leave, but I also didn’t know if I wanted him staying either.
Bending over with my head resting on my hands, I murmured softly, “Matt, thank you for coming out here to check on me, but you probably need to get back to your sister. She’s going to really hate me now that you left her to come see me.”
He was silent behind me, but I heard his steps on the hardwood floor coming closer. Staring at the floor, he knelt down in front of me and gently grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. With him looking at me with such love and adoration, it was so hard to be angry at him, but then those pictures flashed in my mind and it all came back.
“Dammit,” I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut. Pulling out of his grasp, I stood up and walked away from him, trying hard not to cry or lose my temper. I needed to tell him what happened and show him the pictures, and when I do I could only hope and pray he didn’t do anything stupid.
“What’s wrong with you, Shelby? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” Matt snapped.
I turned around, but before I could tell him, my phone vibrated in the pocket of my pink fleece pajama pants. When I saw the name ‘Kyle’ displayed on the screen, I was two seconds away from throwing my phone out the front door.
Kyle: I see you haven’t kicked him out yet. Are you actually going to let him fuck you after everything you saw? That girl on page 97 was kind of rough. I thought you were the type to have standards. Guess not. Oh well, I guess I need to step up my game.
“Son of a bitch,” I growled, rushing over to the window. That psycho was here somewhere … watching.
Matt rushed up to my side, and since the text message was still clearly visible on my screen, he looked down at it and his whole mood shifted almost instantly. Immediately, he stormed his way outside. “Matt, no,” I shouted, racing after him. Please, don’t let Kyle show himself out there, I prayed.
Fuming, Matt stalked down the steps to the sidewalk. His chest was heaving up and down and his hands were shaking with fury. “I’m right here,” he yelled to the darkness. “Let’s finish this.”
“Matt, please,” I begged. “This is what he wants. You can’t let him get to you like this.”
He scoffed and kept his back to me. “You’re one to talk, Shelby. I knew the moment I walked in your house that something was up, and now I know why. Kyle already got to you.” With his fists clenched tight, he turned around and marched up the steps, his gaze as cold as ice. “What did you see, Shelby? What did he show you?” he demanded.
Closing my eyes, I blew out a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay,” I whispered hesitantly. “I’ll show you, but you have to promise that you won’t go after him. I mean it, Matt. It’s been a hard enough day for me as it is, and the last thing you need is to go to jail.”
“Dammit,” he hissed, putting his hands on his hips. “Fine, I promise. Now show me what the hell he’s talking about.”
I took one last look around outside and turned on my heel to head back into the house. Matt slammed the door behind me and followed me into my room, his breathing ragged and furious. The envelope was tucked away in my desk drawer because I didn’t want it lying around in plain sight as a reminder. Matt glanced down at the envelope in my hand and back up to me, his gaze softening when he could see tears in my eyes.
Hesitantly, he took a step forward and said, “Shelby.”
I quickly put my hand up to stop him. “Please, don’t say anything else right now. Just look at what’s inside before we talk.”
Taking a deep breath, I turned away from him and walked over to the glass curio cabinet, which was in the corner with my trophies from over the years and other valuable trinkets in it. When we went to the prom, we were given glass champagne flutes that had the date engraved on them. I never understood why they gave us those when we were too young to even drink. I still kept them, along with my graduation cap, which sat beside them.
“What the fuck,” Matt shouted angrily.
Immediately, I peered over my shoulder and saw that he had all of the photos scattered out on my bed. I didn’t dare approach because I didn’t have the desire to see him in them.
His gaze was wild when he looked at me and asked, “How did you get these? You didn’t let him inside your house, did you?”
“No,” I shrieked. “I went out for a run, and then I got a text message that said I had a special delivery. The envelope was by the front door when I got back.” Shaking his head, I watched him look at every single photo, feeling the anger burn me from the inside out. “Believe me, the last thing I wanted to see when I got home was a hundred pictures of you screwing other women,” I sneered.
“What?” he exclaimed, gripping a handful of the pictures. “Shelby, these pictures aren’t of me. Please tell me you didn’t believe this shit.” By the truth in his gaze I knew he wasn’t lying to me.
Gasping, I ran to his side and peered down at the pictures. “Really? But I saw your face. It was you in them.”
Matt picked out a picture and held it up so I could see it. “They were photoshopped, or altered somehow to make it look like it was me. It might be my face, but look at the body,” he insisted, pointing to the tattoos in the picture. “I have tattoos, but when have you ever seen a tribal band around my arm? You know I hate those things.”
“Oh my God,” I cried, eyes going wide. “I didn’t look at them all. I got through three of them and completely lost it. I was so angry I didn’t know what to do.”
Matt threw the pictures onto the bed. “So you’ve been sitting here all day pissed at me, haven’t you?”
Nodding, I closed my eyes, ashamed at having fallen for one of Kyle’s tricks. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to look at them that closely. It’s not exactly easy knowing you’ve been with so many women, Matt. You’ve touched and kissed them like you do with me, and it makes me sick to know that.”
Matt sighed and placed his hands on my cheeks. “No, angel, I never touched them or kissed them the way I do with you. I actually feel your skin, the way it connects with mine when I glide my fingers over it.” His fingers tickled my skin as he trailed them down my cheeks to my neck, and back up. “It’s the most amazing feeling I’ve ever felt. It’s like your body responds to me and heightens every single touch. When I kiss your lips it’s the same thing.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips across mine, nipping my bottom lip. That feeling he spoke of tingled all the way down my body, making me shiver. He was right; I had never felt that with anyone other than him.
“What makes it even more different, angel, is that I love you. I always have.”