Chapter Ten
We set up a time for Reese to meet Eli in a more personal setting – well away from my parents' house. We'd agreed to not tell anyone – including Eli – that Reese was his dad until after they became more comfortable with one another. It just made sense to ease into it. My family didn't need their nose in our business and I knew Luke would only make things more stressful. There were no rushing things with Reese and Eli. Slow and steady. That way if Reese bolted, my son wouldn't have to know anything.
Not that I told Reese my reasoning. He didn't need know how much I didn't trust him.
For our first meeting, Reese came over to my place to visit for a bit. Just the three of us. I expected things to be awkward. I mean, except for the night I slept with him, we didn't really have much history together. We didn't seem to have much in common. And suddenly we'd be together with our son and I'd have to make conversation. What in the hell were we going to talk about?
My heart stuttered in my chest when Reese knocked on the door – right on time. Which was a surprise for me. As I opened it and let him in, he looked around, nodding.
“Nice place,” he said.
“Thanks. It's a bit small, but it'll do for us, for now.”
I didn't mention that my parents paid half my rent, just so I could provide a nice home for our son. I couldn't afford to pay for everything, not on my own. Not yet, at least. I'd told them we could rent an apartment, but they insisted on helping. Because of their help, we were able to get a small two-bedroom house down the street from them. And for that, I was more thankful than I could say.
Eli was on the floor watching cartoons when Reese came in. He looked up at Reese, but didn't pay much attention and turned back to the television. He looked up again when I turned the TV off though.
He started to cry, his little lip trembling as I turned off his favorite show.
“We'll watch it later, bub,” I said. “I want you to meet someone right now.”
Reese just stood there and stared, almost like he was still in shock about the fact that this was his child. Eli was still upset about me turning off his favorite show, whining at me to turn it back on. I walked over and sat on the floor with him and looked up at Reese, inviting him to join us.
He did, after a few moments, but I could tell he wasn't comfortable. Not that I could blame him. It's not like he had time to really prepare for this. One day he was a bachelor, living on his own, and the next he was the father of a toddler. I was sure it had to be completely overwhelming.
“Hey there, Eli,” Reese said. “I'm Reese.”
Eli just stared blankly at him.
“I'm sorry. He's a little shy with –” I almost said strangers, but stopped myself in the nick of time, “new people.”
“I understand. I am too,” Reese said with a smile.
“No, you're not,” I said with a dry laugh. “You're the most social person I know.”
“Oh yeah? Says the girl who hardly knows me.”
He laughed, and it sounded sincere, but the plug about barely knowing him hurt. It reminded me yet again that I didn't know the father of my son, not very well, at least. And that hurt. Reese must have noticed the hurt on my face, because he followed it up by giving me a smile and a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.
“I'm sorry, Maya. I didn't mean to –”
“No, it's fine,” I said. I let out a deep sigh. “This is certainly going to take some getting used to, isn't it?”
“You can say that again,” he said. He smiled at me though, and I felt a smile touching my lips as well.
ooo000ooo
Reese stuck around until it was time to put Eli to bed, and he asked to help with that. Slowly, over the course of the day, Eli had started warming up to him.
“Read me a story, please?” Eli asked, putting a book into Reese's lap.
He stared up at his dad with those same dark eyes, and I could see Reese turning to putty right on the spot. It was funny to me – this big baller, this supposed hard man with a ton of street cred – turning to jelly in the face of one small child.
“Uhh yeah, sure thing, little guy,” he said, picking up the book.
I was standing in the doorway – keeping my distance to let them have their time together – and I couldn't help but smile. It was sweet seeing this former bad boy adjusting to life as a father. He was trying, I had to give him credit for that.
I walked over to tuck Eli into bed, and I turned on the night light while Reese read from the book. For a moment, I had to admit, this was nice. Up until that point, I was the one who did everything. I was the caretaker, the story reader, the nurse, the cook, everything. But for a brief moment, I could step back and let someone else take over for me.
Married couples had it good, I thought.
“Another story, please?” Eli asked as soon as the first one was finished.
Reese seemed perfectly happy to be doing what he was doing, but I almost stopped him. It was getting late, but I decided to let it go. A small smile touched Reese's lips as he read, so I decided to leave them alone and stepped out, just into the living room where I could still hear everything that was going on. My eyes were heavy with exhaustion though, and I fought to keep from falling asleep. It wasn't even nine yet, but after working all day and then being a mother to my son all evening, I was worn out.
I drifted off to sleep, and only woke up when I heard Eli's bedroom door close softly. My eyes opened wide, as I expected my son to be standing there looking at me, but it was just Reese.
“He finally fell asleep,” he said softly.
“That makes two of us,” I said with a laugh.
I expected Reese to hit the road, but he sat down in the chair across from me as if he wanted to talk. Or maybe he felt obligated, I didn't know. I didn't want him to think I expected anything from him. Honestly, I expected nothing from him, so anything I did get was a bonus at that point.
“Why didn't you tell me, Maya?”
Oh. He wanted to talk about that.
“How could I? You were in LA, I had no way of reaching you, even if I'd wanted to,” I said.
“Luke had my number. You could have called. You should have called.”
“And say what? 'Hey, remember me? I'm that girl you fucked that one night? Well guess what, I'm pregnant.' and besides, I didn't want Luke to get involved. He's an asshole.”
“He kinda is, isn't he?”
We both laughed at the same time. It felt good to laugh, honestly. After all the tension and stress about Reese's sudden appearance back into my life, I had to admit, it had gone pretty well.
“Major prick,” I said, smiling when I said it. “But he's your best friend, so I shouldn't –”
“Was my best friend,” Reese said. “But we've changed. He still acts like he's sixteen, which was fine a few years ago, but now – hell, maybe it's because I'm a dad now, but I just can't see myself hanging out with the likes of him anymore. We just don't have anything in common. I've moved forward and he seems to have stayed in place.”
All of this was news to me. And it struck me as a little bit – contrived. Or at least, naïve.
“So you're a dad and suddenly you want to change who you are overnight?” I said. “Please, it doesn't happen that way.”
“Maybe I changed before I found out, Maya. This just makes me even more determined to clean up my life and figure out what the hell I'm going to do now. For him, you know? For him. For Eli.”
It was a nice thought. Really, it was. But I was still being that naive girl who thought Reese was amazing, when in actuality, he was nothing more than a bad boy who'd been a childhood crush. I didn't want to get my hopes up. These were all words. Words meant nothing if he took off next week.
I didn't know why, but there was some small part of me that wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“I appreciate that, Reese,” I said softly.
The tears welled up in my eyes, but this time, they were tears of happiness. My son was my entire world, and everything I did was for him. I was even letting Reese into my life – for him. Not for me. Not even for Reese. But for Eli.
“I know you do, Maya,” he said. “And I'm sorry you've had to raise him by yourself for so long. I'm sorry you had to put your dreams on hold for something that happened one night, all those years ago –”
“My dreams aren't on hold, Reese. My dreams have merely changed. And Eli is my world now, everything I want in life revolves around him. So, don't think I regret it, not even for a minute, because I don't.”
“You're a good mom, Maya,” he said, staring me dead in the eyes. “Just know though, from this day forward, you're not going to have to do this alone.”
I hope not, I thought to myself. I really, really hope not.