CHAPTER NINE

 

 

“Excuse me, sir! You can’t go in there!”

The young man working at the front desk of The Quinn Hotel and Spa did his best to stop Andrew from seeing Bob—he really did. But he didn’t take into account the fact Andrew was older, bigger, and angrier.

Andrew ducked around the kid and stomped down the hallway leading to his uncle’s office, glad he remembered the way from last time. Glad, too, for the bubbling furnace of anger in his stomach now, which kept him moving, kept him willing to confront Bob, even if part of his mind was screaming this was a terrible idea.

No!

He’d seen the look in Rachel’s eyes when he’d told her what Bob had done. She hadn’t believed him—didn’t want to believe him! That’s when Andrew’s control had snapped. He’d wanted to show her, to show Bob, to show the whole family, that he’d been right. He’d stayed away all this time because their precious Bob had done something unforgivable.

If Rachel wouldn’t believe him, then the rest of the family wouldn’t—

No, he repeated in his mind. No, he was doing this for Rachel, not his family. His family didn’t miss him or Heather; they’d gotten on fine without them. No, this was for Rachel, whom he wanted to build a forever with. He wanted her to believe him.

Build a forever with.

The thought caught up with him as he had his hand on Bob’s doorknob.

Is that what he wanted? A forever with Rachel? He’d been looking for so long, and here she was.

Marriage is forever.

Marriage. He could marry her, could build a forever with her. But…but marriage wasn’t forever, was it? Heather had thought it was, and Bob thought it was, and look what had happened.

“Andrew!”

Behind him, he heard Rachel’s breathless call, then her quiet murmuring to the kid at the front desk. A small part of his mind heard it and wondered if she was talking him out of calling security on this nut-job who just busted in to see the General Manager… But the rest of him was thinking about Bob and marriage.

Marriage is forever.

Is it?

Taking a deep breath, he pushed open Bob’s door without knocking, stepping into the room before he thought better of it. He tried to wrap himself in his earlier anger, tried to feel the same sense of disgust he’d felt when he’d seen Bob at the interview…but instead, he felt confused. Angry, sure, but not the same white-hot anger of before.

If he wanted a forever with Rachel, did that mean Bob had been right in what he told Heather all those years ago?

“Andrew?” Behind his desk, Bob slowly stood up, his expression wary. “I didn’t expect to see you again.”

Taking a deep breath, Andrew stepped into the room. The comforting anger he’d carried for years refused to boil to the surface. He reached up and pulled his toque off, clutching it in front of him with both hands, his insides a mass of confusion.

“My boy?” his uncle prompted.

Where to start? “Heather…”

Bob’s brows clanged together. “Heather? What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

No.

“No, she’s not okay.” Andrew took another deep breath. “She’s divorced, you know.”

Bob’s frown deepened. “Yes, I know. We all know. A real shame—and her with kids too.” He shook his head. “Marriage is a commitment, a commitment to those children, and—”

Oh, there was the anger.

A part of Andrew rejoiced as he wrapped it around himself once more. “Marriage is forever,” he snarled at his uncle, stepping closer to the desk. “That’s what you told her, when she came to you, didn’t you?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Andrew!”

Dimly, he was aware of Rachel rushing breathless into the room behind him. The anger pulsed behind his eyeballs, and he was torn between crying and yelling at his sanctimonious uncle.

But then…but then…she stopped beside him. She should’ve stood between them, or with Bob, her boss. But no, she’d chosen to stand with him.

Slowly, Andrew turned disbelieving eyes on her. Her cheeks were darker than usual—flushed from chasing after him?—and she was breathing heavily. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears…for him?

And then she nodded and slipped her arm through his, and Andrew realized he could do this. He could get through this, he could say what needed to be said without lashing out, because he had Rachel by his side.

In one jerky movement, he untangled their arms and reached down to twine his fingers through hers. Neither had taken the time to put their gloves back on, and this connection felt as strong as it had the first time he’d touched her, that evening outside the Chinese restaurant in Riston.

This connection—her touch, her faith—gave him strength.

He took another deep breath and turned back to his uncle. “Heather came to see you—well, she went to see Grandma and Gramps—but you were there, weren’t you? She told you what was happening, and you told her marriage is forever. It’s what I always believed too, but—” He broke off, shaking his head. “That’s not what she needed to hear.”

Bob relaxed slightly, but he still carried that same confused expression on his face. “I remember that day, Andrew. It was the last time I spoke with her. She needed someone to talk to, and I told her about the hardships all relationships endure. All of us argue from time to time, all of us hurt one another’s feelings. Being in love—being committed in a marriage—is all about forgiving and—”

Hardships?

“Hardships!” Andrew growled, jerking forward, only to be tugged back by Rachel. “Hardships?”

He turned agonized eyes to Rachel, not sure what she could do. But at least she could see he wasn’t crazy, he hadn’t made this up. What Heather had endured wasn’t “hardship.” It was…

He shook his head in disbelief, helpless to explain.

Rachel smiled at him. It wasn’t a bright smile, more of a sad one. An understanding one. Then she nodded, and squeezed his hand. She understood. She did.

“Wait,” she said, taking a deep breath, “I think I can help.” She turned back to her boss, but kept her grip tight on Andrew’s hand. “Bob, Andrew and Heather have been estranged from the family because of what you said to her during that meeting.”

“What?” The confused frown was back on Bob’s face. “Because of what I said? What did I say? I certainly never intended…” He shook his head again.

She stepped forward slightly, turning so she was standing between the two men, but open to both. And she was still holding Andrew’s hand.

“Bob,” she said gently. “What did Heather say was wrong in her relationship with Roger?”

“She said she was hurt. I told her all husbands accidentally hurt their wives’ feelings from time to time, and it was probably unintentional, and just something marriages needed to work through. Heaven knows I’ve hurt April Lynn’s feelings before.”

Andrew began to feel sick to his stomach. Rachel didn’t let the issue go.

“And after you said that to her?” she asked gently. “What did Heather say?”

He shook his head. “I—I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.” His eyes slowly unfocused, as if he was seeing the past. “I think she maybe cried a little? I remember giving her a hug, although she didn’t seem to want it. I don’t think she said anything, just nodded and left, still crying.” He sighed. “I remember feeling sorry I couldn’t explain better.”

Rachel turned pain-filled eyes to Andrew, and shook her head once as well. Telling him not to react? Telling him she was sorry? Telling him to keep quiet?

His heart was beating so strongly against his chest, Andrew wasn’t sure he could say anything, even if he knew what to say. And the queasiness in his stomach was still there. He had the horrible feeling he knew what his uncle meant.

“Bob…” Rachel took another breath and turned to her boss. “Heather’s feelings weren’t being hurt. She was. Roger was hurting her, a lot. He was abusing her. And when you told her all that, she took it to mean she didn’t have the support of her family, that her family wanted her to go back to her marriage with a husband who abused her.”

“So she went back to him,” Andrew said in a strangled whisper, bile rising in his throat, “And almost didn’t survive.”

Around him, the office fell away, the years fell away, until he was standing in the snow at the front door of Heather and Roger’s house, all those years ago. He’d kept the line to Sean open, even though he’d had the boy packing emergency bags for himself and his sister. So when he banged on the door, the boy had answered. The expression of determination on his tiny face barely hid the terror in his eyes.

“Where is she?” Andrew had growled, and when Sean pointed to the living room, he’d stalked that way.

Roger had been standing over a sobbing Heather, red-faced and ranting about how this was her fault. Her leg stuck out at an awkward angle, and in that moment, Andrew had never wanted to hurt another human being as much as he wanted to hurt Roger. But Sean was standing beside him, trying to be brave, and Andrew had known whatever happened next, the boy would always remember.

Without taking his eyes from his piece-of-scum brother-in-law, Andrew had spoken to Sean. “Get your bags and your mom’s purse and keys. Get your sister out of bed and put her in your mom’s car.”

And while the boy had raced to do that, Andrew had crossed that room, scooped up his sister—who hadn’t been able to suppress her scream of pain at the movement—and turned to Roger.

He’d made sure all his rage and disgust showed when he’d said, “I’m taking them someplace safe. I’m going to help her press charges, and you’re never going to see them again.”

It was his last words to the man, even throughout the divorce proceedings, and they’d been prophetic. Andrew and Sean had held one another and Sophie while Heather had gone into surgery, then the four of them had become the family they’d needed. It had been a slow healing process, and Andrew wasn’t sure how much his sister still thought about her ex-husband, but they were through it.

It had been the hardest part of his life, and it had been caused by the man standing in front of him, here and now. Andrew shook his head, realizing what Bob’s horrified reaction had to mean.

“No!” Bob whispered hoarsely, whipping his head back and forth. “No! She never said—” He sank down into the chair, deflating. “She never said he was actually hurting her, abusing her. I assumed she meant her feelings, that’s what I—Oh God forgive me,” he moaned, running his hand over his face. “She never said, Andrew. I swear to you.”

The older man turned pleading eyes to Andrew. “She never said, never corrected me. I should’ve listened harder, but she just said ‘he hurt me,’ and I thought she meant…”

Suddenly, Andrew’s knees felt very weak. He moved to one of the two leather chairs in front of Bob’s desk, and sank down into it, not letting go of Rachel’s hand.

“You thought she meant her feelings,” he whispered dully.

When Bob nodded mutely, Andrew felt tears pool in his eyes. Years of anger, of bitterness and disgust and estrangement from a family who believed marriage is forever, and why? Because Bob had misunderstood his niece when she’d come to him for help. Andrew had painted his uncle as the villain in this story, but it was just miscommunication?

Rachel moved up beside him, her other hand covering their joined hands. Twisting into motion, he reached around and grabbed her around her waist. Their hands still clutched between them, he pulled her down until she was sitting in his lap, and buried his face in her shoulder.

That’s when the tears finally came.

She’d stiffened, but now relaxed, letting go with one hand to reach up and stroke the back of his head. It was like they were alone, just the two of them, instead of sitting in his uncle’s office with the man doing mourning of his own.

“I’m so sorry, Andrew,” Bob whispered hoarsely. “I didn’t know.

Rachel held Andrew. “It’s not your fault.”

Her words reverberated through Andrew, and he felt as if she were speaking to both of them, even if he couldn’t make himself lift his face to find out.

“It’s not your fault,” she repeated, “Either of you. It’s not Heather’s fault either. She and Bob just didn’t understand one another, and you—” her voice sounded strangely choked as her hand skimmed over the short hairs on the back of Andrew’s head, “And you only heard one side of the story.”

Finally, he lifted his head, meeting her soft dark eyes. His cheeks were wet from the tears—tears for Heather, tears for himself—but he didn’t care, and knew she didn’t either. In fact, her palm came around to cup his cheek.

“It’s not your fault,” she repeated a third time in a whisper, and bent down to press her forehead against his.

And in that moment, Andrew wanted almost nothing more than to kiss her. To press his lips to hers, to inhale her strength and her essence and her certainty. But he hadn’t kissed her since that disastrous—wonderful!—first one, and they’d agreed to take it slow. So he just breathed deeply, and contented himself with her touch.

It was Bob who broke the silence, blowing his nose noisily. Rachel leaned back and Andrew sat up a little, without loosening his grip on her. He didn’t think he could. She was the only thing in his life right now he was certain of, and he didn’t want to let her go.

He needed her with him, like this, forever.

“I’m sorry, my boy,” Bob repeated, wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. Had he been crying? “I’m sorry I didn’t follow up with her, with you. All I knew was she’d told me that—I thought it was nothing more than the same problem all couples face from time to time, and I said so. Then she went off and ended up divorcing him after all, and not speaking to us again.”

“And why did you think that was?” Rachel prodded gently.

The older man shrugged. “This family has never hidden how we feel about commitment and love, and I made it clear to her. I assumed she was avoiding us because she was—” He cleared his throat. “Because she was ashamed of her decision.”

“No,” Andrew growled, although the white-hot anger had faded along with his tears. “She thought you should be ashamed of your attitude.”

Or at least, she had, once Andrew had gotten her away from Roger. Once he’d ranted and raved about their family.

His stomach flopped over. Was he responsible for her pain too? Andrew was certainly the one who’d nurtured the anger against their family; he hadn’t exactly encouraged her not to have contact with them, but he’d made it clear why he was avoiding them, and she’d followed suit.

He closed his eyes on his own shame and remorse. He was going to have to go home and give his sister a big hug and a bigger apology.

Bob was folding his handkerchief, still looking a little ill. “I would’ve been ashamed, had I understood what was going on. I would’ve never encouraged her to go back to him, had I known. None of us knew, you have to believe me.”

Slowly, Andrew nodded. Even their parents and younger siblings didn’t know why Heather had divorced Roger, only that it was for the best. Mom had often commented on how much happier Heather and the kids were without Roger in their lives, and Andrew had assumed that meant she’d guessed at the real nature of their marriage. Neither of their parents had ever made Heather feel guilty about her divorce, but they knew more than the rest of the family.

“I guess I owe Gramps a phone call,” Andrew said, a little dully. He wasn’t looking forward to explaining all this to them, and wondered if he could gloss over the details.

Bob nodded and met his eyes. “I think he’d like that very much, Andrew.”

From her spot in his lap—and she still had made no move to leave—Rachel cleared her throat. “You know, next week is Thanksgiving.”

Whatever look she’d given Bob must’ve conveyed something, because suddenly the older man straightened and looked at Andrew with almost pleading eyes. “It is. And we’re having the usual big shindig at the ranch. I know you haven’t been in years, but it would mean a lot to me—to your parents and Gramps and all of us—if you’d all come this year, Andrew. I’d like the chance to apologize to Heather too.”

“I’m not sure about Heather,” Andrew admitted.

He wasn’t sure yet about himself. Years of anger and disgust couldn’t be wiped away just because he found out he’d been hating for the wrong reason. On the other hand, was there a better time to try, than at Thanksgiving?

Taking a deep breath, he glanced at Rachel. “Will you go with me, if I go?”

And this time, her smile was real and brilliant, and held all the feelings he wanted to tell her, but hadn’t yet. “I would be honored to go to the Quinn family Thanksgiving with you, Andrew.”

He nodded slowly, and looked back at his uncle once more. “I guess I’ll think about it then. But no promises on Heather’s behalf.”

Bob’s nod was enthusiastic. “If she doesn’t want to come, I’d like to go visit her, if you think she wouldn’t mind. I’ll let you feel her out, but I can’t believe—” His voice broke with emotion, and he looked away before clearing his throat. “I was a fool, and I’d like to give her a hug and apologize, if she’d allow it.”

Andrew thought about his sister—the school librarian who always had love in her heart for everyone. Yes, she’d forgive Bob, because there wasn’t much to forgive. And Andrew…? He inhaled deeply, then let the anger and bitterness flow out with the air. Andrew wasn’t able to push aside years of emotions, but he could forgive Bob, here and now.

He met his uncle’s eyes. “I think that would be a very good idea…Uncle Bob.”

The man seemed to understand the significance, and his eyes softened.

“My boy, thank you.”