Arriving at Dr. Shaw’s office, we walk in hand in hand. Aiden sees that I’m anxious. “Everything will be fine, baby; it’s probably just nerves or tiredness.”
I put on my best smile. “Yeah, I know.” Inside I have a sinking feeling it’s more than just nerves. I haven’t told him just how bad the headaches are.
The nurse sees Aiden and right on cue has the biggest smile. “Mr. Steffan, I am a huge fan of yours. My husband wears your cologne, Givenchy for Gentlemen.”
Aiden, being gracious, says, “Well, it’s not really my cologne. I just model for their ads, but it is the only one I wear. My wife loves it.”
She turns her smile on me. “I’m very pleased to meet both of you. Follow me—you can wait in the doctor’s private office. He had an emergency at the hospital, but is on his way now. It will only be a few minutes, I assure you.”
We sit on the chairs in front of his desk. It’s not long before the doctor walks in. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite couple.” We both stand. He shakes Aiden’s hand first, then gives me a hug. “So tell me: How are the newlyweds doing? I saw the nuptials on Good Morning America. By the way, congratulations to the both of you. Please sit down.”
He hangs up his jacket on the coat rack by the door, then goes around to sit behind his desk. “Now tell me, what can I do for the two of you? I know when I spoke to you on the phone, Aiden, you said Alexis was having some headaches.”
Aiden says, “I suppose I should let Alexis tell you about how she is feeling.”
“Dr. Shaw, a few days ago I started getting really bad—in fact, severe—headaches. When they come, I get dizzy and lightheaded. Noise and light make them hurt even more. It’s as if someone is pounding on the back of my head. I also get nauseated.”
“Alexis, is there a chance you could be pregnant?”
Aiden turns to me with his eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them. He gets the biggest grin. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I look between them. “No, no, I’m not pregnant. It’s impossible. I just had a period a couple of days before we got married.” The smile is gone from his face. I caress his hand. “We have plenty of time for that after the wedding.”
“All right, let’s get you into one of the exam rooms. The nurse will escort you there. I just need to make a quick call and be right with you.”
We are led into the exam room, where Aiden sits on the chair and I get up on the examination table. The door opens and in comes Dr. Shaw. He listens to my heart and feels under my jaw, working his fingers gently all along my jawline. He looks into my mouth, then ears, and asks me questions about my eating habits and whether I’m getting enough rest. Am I drinking enough water? He then tells me to look straight ahead so he can check my pupils. When he flashes the light into my eyes, I get a shooting pain—one so hard that I grab my head with both my hands. Squinting my eyes shut, I let out a cry.
Aiden stands quickly and rushes to my side. “Alexis! Please, Dr. Shaw, help her. She’s in pain. What’s wrong with her?”
“Alexis, lie down.” He turns to Aiden. “I’m going to need to admit her into the hospital so we can run some tests. I’ll need to do a head scan, an MRI. That way I’ll know more about what we are dealing with. I’m going to get my nurse Ava to call for the ambulance.” He lays a hand on my shoulder and talks in a low voice. “Alexis, it’s going to be all right. I will call the hospital myself right now and tell them you are en route. They’ll have a room ready for you. I just need to move some things around, and I will be there shortly.” With that, he walks out.
Aiden leans down and gently hugs me. I am in tears from the pain.
“Baby, it’s going to be fine. I’m right here with you.”
Still holding my head and trembling from the excruciating pain, I couldn’t hide how bad it’s hurting even if I tried. “It’s so bad. It feels like someone’s hitting me on the head with a hammer. Oh god, make it stop.”
Feeling something wet running down the side of my neck, I wipe it. “Aiden, I’m bleeding. Where is it coming from?”
“Oh god. Baby, hold on.” He tears off a piece of the paper that is on the table and starts to wipe off the blood. “Amore, it’s coming from your ear.” He opens the door and screams for the doctor to come and help me. In an instant, both Dr. Shaw and Ava are in the room.
“Alexis, the ambulance is on the way.” He pulls Aiden aside. “Could it be from the beating she took from Frank when he kidnapped her and her friend?”
“I don’t know, but please help her. Please, Doctor, she’s in so much pain. Why are her ears bleeding? What is wrong with her?”
“Aiden, you need to calm down. You getting this upset is not helping her. As soon as we get her to the hospital, we are going to do everything possible to help her.”
When the paramedics arrive, they lay me on the stretcher and wheel me out to the ambulance. Aiden walks beside me, holding my hand. He’s trying his best to appear calm, but I know he is anything but calm. Outside, the sunlight makes the pain hit me harder. I curl up in a fetal position, moaning and crying out. I keep telling myself to calm down. I don’t want to scare Aiden more than he is already.
Fortunately for us, the hospital is just a short ride away—although with New York traffic the way it is, the drive takes a bit longer. Even with the sirens blaring, there is just so much traffic. I want to yell at them to turn them off because they’re hurting my head. What should have been a fifteen-minute drive turns into a much longer one. Finally, we reach the hospital, where I am wheeled into the emergency room. They usher Aiden out. I can hear him yelling.
“Ti amo, Alexis. Baby, I’m going to be right here.”
There are people all around me, poking and prodding me. Everyone seems to be talking at the same time. It seems like time is standing still, as if I’m in a dream. Like I’m floating above them looking down.
“Alexis, it’s Dr. Shaw. We’re going to give you something for the pain.”
The agony is leaving me now. I fall into a deep sleep.
***
I can hear faint noises, then I feel a hand on me.
“Aiden, you look tired. You should go home and get some rest.”
“I’m fine. I want to be here when she wakes up.”
“Well, why don’t you at least go down to get some coffee with Johnny? I’ll stay here with her.” It’s Shannon’s voice that I hear.
Then comes Johnny’s. “Yes, Aiden, let’s go get you something to eat. You need to keep up your strength or you won’t be any good to her if you get sick.”
“All right, all right. Shannon, if she wakes up, call me right away. I mean it: the minute she wakes up.”
“I promise, the minute she wakes up I’ll call you. Now go.”
The voices fade. Again, there’s a soft touch. I want to say something, but my mouth feels dry. Hard as I try, there are no words coming out. My body feels numb. Shannon is talking to me. “Lexie, I’m here for you. Aiden has been here all night—you know him. He refuses to leave your side. Johnny and I finally got him to go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.”
The feeling of moisture on my arm. Am I bleeding again? God, what is going on? Wait, no, it can’t be that. Shannon’s voice is shaky—she’s crying.
“Lexie, you better not leave me. Please, I…I need you. Aiden needs you. You’re married to your soulmate. Now you’re going to have the biggest wedding Italy has ever seen. We still need to pick out the perfect wedding dress for you. I love you. Fight for me, fight for Aiden, dammit, fight for yourself.”
Oh, Shannon, I’m right here. I’m fighting to come back to you, I am. Don’t count me out. I’m attempting to move my arms, to turn my head. Come on, open your eyes, Lexie. Show her that you can hear her. That you didn’t fight these last few years to find happiness again just to let this illness take you down. Then another voice is speaking to me.
What? Who is that? That voice sounds so familiar, but it can’t be him. Say something again, I beg. I’m running through this haze; it’s an endless room. No color, just white everywhere. Where are you? Erik, is that you? I can’t see through the tears. I want to wipe my eyes, but my hands won’t move. Fuck, somebody help me!
There is a hand on my shoulder, and my heart stops. Slowly, I turn. Then I gasp, not believing what I’m seeing. Erik! I throw my arms around him.
“Hey, baby sister.”
“I thought you were dead. Wait, you died in my arms. How can you be here now? What is happening, Erik? Am I dead too?”
He pulls back, and it’s as if I am staring into my own eyes because we look so much alike. He has the same green eyes, the same wavy blond hair. The only difference is that Erik is darker skinned plus he has two dimples on his cheeks whereas I only have the one on my chin. We could be twins.
“You need to listen to me right now, Lexie.”
I know I have to listen to him, but I can’t seem to stop crying. I pull him in for another hug. I don’t want to let him go. I’m so scared that if I release him, he’ll be gone again. The tears are streaming down my face.
In the distance, there are other voices. I’m being torn between two different worlds. I squeeze Erik harder. My love for Aiden and Shannon is pulling me in one direction and my love for my brother is pulling me in another.
“Wait, where are Mom and Dad? Erik, where are they?”
“They’re waiting for you, Lexie. You need to come home, baby sister. Don’t leave us—we love and need you. Remember, we’re supposed to grow old and have our own families. Our kids are supposed to play together.”
Confused, I break my hold on him.
“Grow old!” he says. “Have kids and families of our own.”
The other voices are becoming louder, clearer. “Alexis, please, baby, come back to me.” The side of my face and neck are getting wet. He’s crying. Because of me he is hurting and crying again. I want to hug him, tell him that I’m here, not to worry. On the other hand, I don’t want to leave the world where I still have Erik.
I can hear Shannon’s voice. “Look, Aiden. There are tears coming out of her eyes.” She whispers into my ear, “Lexie, come back to us. Please, we all need you.”
Aiden tells Johnny to go get the nurse.
“Erik, I don’t want to hurt Aiden or Shannon, but I can’t let you go. I’ve missed you so much, big brother. Oh god, tell me what to do.”
“Lexie, stay with me, with us. Mom and Dad are beyond devastated over all this. They don’t want to lose their only daughter.”
My head is swimming with everything that’s going on. I’m falling to pieces here. “What are you saying? We can’t have kids if we’re dead.”
He’s being pulled away, fading away. I’m reaching for him but can’t grab ahold of him. “Erik, wait. No, Erik, don’t go. God, you can’t leave me again!”
The voices are getting closer.
“Alexis.”
“Lexie.”
Slowly, I open my eyes. An overwhelming emptiness once again grips my heart. The roller coaster of emotions I’ve been on has me exhausted. My husband, best friend, and Johnny come into focus. Instead of being relieved and glad to see them, I’m a wreck. The wave of tears comes full force. Not able to speak, I just cry in Aiden’s arms as he holds me. He gently hushes me. Shannon walks around to the other side of the bed, rubbing my back. “We’re all here for you, Lexie. We love you.”
With no response from me yet, Johnny comes behind her. “Let’s give them some time alone, honey.”
I raise my head from Aiden’s chest, and through the sobs, say, “No, stay please. I need to talk to all of you.”
***
“You can visit with them later, Alexis. I need to examine you first.” Dr. Shaw is at the foot of the bed. He politely asks them all to leave while he checks me. Johnny and Shannon begin to walk out. She lets me know that they are going down for a bite to eat but will be back after. Aiden doesn’t move an inch. “Aiden, just for a few minutes while I examine her. I promise.”
“I’m not leaving this room. I won’t get in the way, but I’m not walking out.” He stands, takes a few steps away from the bed, and crosses his arms over his chest. Dr. Shaw scratches his chin, then shakes his head. “What was I thinking? I forgot who I was talking to.”
He turns to me. “How are we…you feeling today, Alexis?”
“I’m feeling tired and my body feels very weak.”
He removes his stethoscope from around his neck and listens to my heart. Then he goes around and places it on my back, listening there as well. Next, he checks my blood pressure and looks into my ears, all the while writing his notes on my chart. He takes a small flashlight out of his coat pocket. “Alexis, I need to check your eyes.”
I tense up, remembering what happened last time he did that. The excruciating pain that caused me to end up in this bed. Aiden takes a step forward, his jaw muscles going tense.
“I know you’re scared of the light being shined in your eyes. I am going to go slow, trust me. I don’t want to cause you more pain, but I need to see what is going on with you.”
He instructs me to look straight ahead. Slowly bringing the light to my eyes, he checks each one very carefully. Afterward he turns it off, stands up, takes a deep breath, and sighs, writing down more notes on the chart. He flips through each page, studying it without saying a word.
After what seems like forever, I ask him, “What is it? What is wrong with me?”
The doctor looks up, first at me, then to Aiden, before staring back at the chart.
“Dr. Shaw, what is wrong with her? Should we be worried? I can get the best doctors in the world here, just say the word.”
Now my heart is beating rapidly.
“We have run every test possible. I can’t find anything wrong with you.”
“But my headaches, the dizziness, and the bleeding—where is all that coming from?”
“You saw how much pain she was in when we left your office. She couldn’t even walk. How she reacted to the sunlight. The torment she was in while in the emergency room.”
“Alexis, Aiden, believe me, I have gone over these results again and again very carefully. We ran every test at our disposal. I simply cannot find anything out of the ordinary.”
Aiden’s jaw is twitching, his veins popping out. The space between his eyebrows narrow as they go inward. “What kind of a hospital is this that you can’t find what’s wrong with her?”
Dr. Shaw turns to me. “How do you feel now, Alexis? Are you in pain? Any discomfort at all? Did the light hurt when I shined it in your eyes?”
“No, the light didn’t bother me at all. Right now I feel fine, just exhausted. My body feels weak, as if I need sleep. Other than that, I’m okay.”
“Good. Just the same, I want to keep you here for one more day just for observation.”
“Do you really think that’s necessary?”
Of course, I should have known Aiden would insist on it. “Amore, please listen to Dr. Shaw. Stay here one more night, just to be on the safe side.”
“Fine, but you are going home to sleep.” Before he can argue further, I raise a finger to shush him. “If you want me to stay one more night, then you have to go home.”
As soon as the doctor walks out, Shannon and Johnny come back in. After Aiden and I explain everything the doctor told us, we all come to the same conclusion. It must be a mixture of fatigue, stress from all the events over the last couple of months coming to a head, and the excitement of the wedding, plus being nervous over meeting the new in-laws. After an hour of discussion, I tell them I’m really in need of sleep. Aiden walks them out, but returns a few minutes later. “Do you really expect me to go home and leave my new bride here all alone and unattended to?”
“Yes, I do. Now go and let me rest.”