Waking up, I find myself alone. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash up. As I turn off the light, Aiden walks in with a tray of fruit and juices. “Good morning, my wife.”
I sit down on the oversized chair we have in the room. “Good morning, my husband.”
He sets the tray on the table by me and hands me the cup of tea I drink every morning now. “Aiden, I need to talk to you. This is really important.”
The smile on his face disappears. “Are you all right? Is the baby all right?”
“The baby is fine.”
“The baby is fine—are you fine?”
Lowering my head, I say, “I don’t know.”
There is a different tone in his next words. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”
Trying to find the right words, I rub my hands together, still looking down at the floor. He lifts my chin to look at him. “Why are you crying? Tell me, what is wrong?”
“You know those headaches that I’ve gotten in the past?”
With a frown, he asks, “What about them? Did you have another one?”
In a low voice: “I never stop having them.”
“What?” He starts to pace the room.
Tears start in my eyes as I see the veins in his neck bulge from anger. His jaw is twitching and his nostrils flare. “I thought we promised each other no more secrets. I thought you loved me. You said that you would always be honest with me. Remember the day we got married? We swore to each other—no more secrets, no more lies, and no more walls.” The last words come out louder, loud enough that there’s a knock on the door. He walks over and opens it.
“Aiden, is everything all right?” Mama asks. “We can hear you downstairs.”
“We are fine; we are just having a disagreement.”
“It sounds like more than that.”
“Mama, please, not now.” He shuts the door and locks it. “Do you really love me, Alexis?”
Standing up, I try to place the cup back on the tray, but my hand is shaking. It falls to the floor. I walk past it. “How can you ask me that? You know I love you more than anything in this world.”
He stops pacing and turns to face me. “Do I?”
It’s me who is angry now. Still crying, I take a deep breath. “How dare you make this about you? How dare you question my love for you? I, who have always stood by you. I love you more than words can say. I would give my life for you.”
Walking into the bathroom, I shut the door behind me and lock it. He starts banging on it. “Alexis, open this door.” I sit on the edge of the tub, put my face in my hands, and cry. I almost fall in from fright as he breaks the door down. Trying to stand up too quickly, I sway, lightheaded.
He runs to catch me. His hands move through my hair, bringing my face up to look at him. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please come sit on the bed.”
“Aiden…” I throw up all over him, all down my front. He grabs a towel, and with a worried expression begins to clean us both off.
***
My head feels like somebody hit it over and over again. Opening my eyes, I find myself in bed wearing a different shirt. I bring my hand up to my head. “What happened?”
Everyone—Papa, Mama, Shannon, Johnny, Ysabel, and of course, Aiden—is standing around the bed watching me. Mama gently sits next to me, covering my hand with her own. “Dear, you fainted. Aiden screamed for help. We all rushed in. Shannon and I helped to clean you up and change you.”
After trying to sit up too fast, I lie back down. “Ouch, my head hurts.”
Gianni comes running in. “Dr. Verdi is here.”
The doctor walks in after him. He comes to the bed and tells everyone, “I need to examine her. Wait outside, please.”
“I’m her husband—I’ll stay in here.”
“Well, I’m her best friend. I’m staying too.”
The others walk out and close the door. After removing his coat, and opening his bag, the doctor sits by me. “How do you feel, Alexis?”
“Like someone used my head as a punching bag.”
“I hear you fainted? Are you still having the headaches?”
“He knows about them too?”
Still seated, the doctor turns to Aiden. “Maybe you should wait outside with the others.”
“Calm down, Aiden,” Shannon says. “She is in good hands. Let the doctor take a look at her.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry—it’s just that she is my world, Dr. Verdi. I can’t lose her ever. Please help her.”
He pulls the sheet down. “Let’s listen to your heart and lungs, and let’s listen to the baby’s as well, shall we?” As Dr. Verdi examines me, Shannon, Aiden, and I look at each other. Then he says, “I need to take a look at your cervix.”
Aiden walks around to the other side of the bed. He sits on it and takes my hand in his. “I’m sorry, baby. I love you.”
After the doctor is done, he goes to his bag. “Everything looks fine from what I can tell, but I am going to schedule a few tests. I need you to come into my clinic tomorrow morning.”
“I will have her there first thing in the morning, I promise.”
“Dr. Verdi.”
“Yes, Alexis?”
“The baby is fine?”
“The heartbeat sounds fine. There is no bleeding.”
“I’ll see him out and give you two some privacy,” Shannon says.
When they are out the door, Aiden hugs me as if his life depends on it. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive, but you do need to control your temper.”
Kicking off his shoes, he lies down beside me and holds me.
Someone knocks.
We both say, “Come in.”
One by one, they make their way into the room. The only ones not here are Brandy’s parents and siblings, but she is. After all, to us she is part of the extended family. After a while of everybody fussing over me, I tell them that I’m tired and need to sleep. One by one they hug me, telling me that they love me and to be careful from now on.
***
Aiden closes the door and locks it. Then he takes off his shirt and pants and gets in bed. We hug each other. In a much calmer voice, he says, “Why didn’t you tell me that you were still having the headaches?”
Lifting my head off his chest, I look into his worried face. “Because I was afraid of how you were going to react. I was right too.”
“I can’t lose you, Alexis. It’ll kill me. I will not have a reason to go on without you.”
“You are never going to lose me. I do need to finish telling you everything, though.”
He closes his eyes. “There’s more?”
“Yes. Can you try and stay calm?” Nodding, he sits us up, fluffs the pillows against the headboard, and helps me to lean up on them. “You need to promise to let me finish before you say anything. Can you do that?”
“Okay.”
“Yes, I’m still having the headaches, but there is more to them that no test will ever show. I’ve been having dreams about my parents and Erik.” I can tell he’s about to say something. I hold my finger up to his mouth. “You promised.” As he relaxes again, I go on. “These dreams really scare me. They’re not happy ones. In them, my family is asking me to join them. I keep wondering why they want me to die. The only thing they are saying is to come back to them, that they miss me, and need me. I think they are in some way telling me that I am going to die. So we need to prepare for that.” His eyes widen in horror. “Please try to stay calm for me.” He lays his head on my stomach.
“I can’t lose you.”
I run my fingers through his hair. “You’re never going to lose me. You are stuck with me for life. We are going to have a baby. There is something that I need to ask of you.”
He raises his head. “Anything, all you have to do is ask.”
I kiss him softly on the nose and cup his face with my hands. “If I am close to the delivery date, or if anything goes wrong in labor, I want you to promise me that they will save the baby first.”
He begins to cry. “You can’t ask that of me, Alexis. I can’t give them permission to let you die.”
“We have to prepare for every possible thing to happen. Please, if you love me, you have to promise to save our son.” He looks down. “Wait.” He pulls away and sits up. I can tell he is in deep thought. Slowly, he gets off the bed. He starts pacing the floor once again, but this time as if he is trying to remember something.
I stand in front of him. “What is it?”
“Dreams. It all makes sense now. The dreams.”
“What are you talking about?”
He looks at me, then paces again.
“Aiden, what are you talking about?”
Coming up to me, he puts his hands on my shoulders. “The dreams I’ve been having all make sense now.”
“You have been having dreams too?”
He shakes his head. “Only a few, but in the dreams my grandmother keeps telling me that I will have a full life with a girl named Alexis. I didn’t think anything of them because you are in my life. But don’t you see, she is trying to tell us that you are going to be fine. That we are going to have a long life together.” Picking me up off the floor, he swings me around.
“Um, maybe you shouldn’t do that too much. I don’t want to throw up again.”
He sets me back on the floor. “Sorry, I forgot. Here, let’s get you back in bed.”
“Actually, I’d like to take a shower.”
“Only a quick one. I don’t want you up too long.”
We go into the bathroom. “I hope that you’ll get the door fixed tomorrow.”
“Of course, I’ll get a handyman on it tomorrow.”
As he gets the water to the right temperature, I undress. Stepping into the shower, I lean my head back, and let the water run through my hair.
I’m about to get the shampoo bottle, but Aiden beats me to it. “I’ll wash your hair.”
Afterward, I wrap a towel around me and get another one to wrap my head in it. But my husband tells me to sit on the bench and let him brush out my hair. I do as I am told. He proceeds to blow dry it for me, then tells me to get on the bed, goes into the closet, and comes out with one of his t-shirts. I hold both of my arms up in the air so he can slide it on me. After putting on a pair of underwear, he turns off the light and crawls in bed too. I fall into a peaceful sleep, knowing that I have finally told him everything.
***
By nine o’clock sharp, we are at the clinic. Per the doctor’s instructions, I haven’t had anything to eat since midnight. I’m put through test after test. We are both assured that every precaution is being taken to not put the baby in any danger. After a few hours, we head home. Dr. Verdi promises that as soon as he gets the results, he will call us in.
At the house I head straight for the kitchen. As always, Mama is cooking. This time it’s because Aiden called and told her we were on our way and I was hungry. “Hmmm, something smells awfully good.”
“Both of you sit down, I will serve you.” She sets down two huge plates in front of us. Pasta primavera and garlic bread. I inhale the aroma, smile, and dig in. It’s the first time I finish my food before my husband.
Papa walks into the kitchen and comes over to hug me. We ask them to sit with us so we can tell them exactly what is going on. “So I can tell everyone at the same time, Papa, can you call them all in, please?” He calls out for them to come have a family meeting.
I turn to Mama. “Did Brandy’s family board the plane fine?”
“They left with no problems at all, right after you went to the doctor’s.”
Once everyone is seated at the table, Aiden says, “I think you should be the one to share the information.”
I take a deep breath, and begin. “For quite some time now I have been getting these really bad headaches. Normally I wouldn’t think much of them. These are different, though. They are very intense, so bad, that the light hurts my eyes and I get really dizzy. I’ve also been having strange dreams about my parents.” I rub my hands together and take a couple of deep breaths.
Aiden covers my hands with his own. “It’s okay, baby, go on.”
I nod my head. “In my dreams, my parents ask me to join them. I think they are in some way letting me know that I am dying.”
Mama’s expression changes in an instant. “No, Alexis. No.”
Papa rises from his chair and stands behind her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he says, “We will find the best doctors to come and get you back to being healthy.”
Aiden says, “We trust and believe in Dr. Verdi. He ran several tests. As soon as we know, we’ll let you know.”
***
Two days, it’s been two days. I’m starting to panic when my phone goes off. Grabbing it off the nightstand, I see that it is the doctor’s office.
Aiden comes up behind me. “Put it on speaker.”
I answer. “Hello, doctor. I have you on speaker so we can both hear you.”
“Sorry it took longer than expected to get back with you, but I ran one of the tests twice.”
We look at each other and say at the same time, “Twice?”
He laughs briefly. “Yes, I wanted to be sure before I gave you the news.”
My heart is racing with anticipation. Without meaning to, I shout, “Please tell us!”
Aiden rubs my back and signals me to sit down. He takes the phone from me. He says, “I’m sorry, doctor. It’s just that we are both so nervous.”
“I understand. I cannot find anything wrong. I went over the tests very thoroughly. As I said, one of them I even ran twice. I see nothing to worry about. Alexis is healthy as a horse, and so are the babies.”
“Wait. What?” I look over at Aiden. “Did he say babies?”
We both start to laugh. “Dr. Verdi, did you say babies?”
“Yes, my dear. You are having twins.”
Dropping the phone, we hug each other. Aiden jumps up, throw his hands in the air, and shouts, “I’m having twins!”
“Um, don’t you mean I’m having twins?” I reach down for the phone. “Sorry, we just got caught off-guard. This is the best news you could have given us.” Before hanging up, we agree to go to his office and get my vitamins. Just as I am about to hit the end call button, I remember to ask, “Oh, can you tell me the due date, please?”
“July fourth.”
I tell Aiden, “We are going to have firecracker babies!”
We rush downstairs, yelling the whole time for everyone to meet us in the family room. After they are all seated, I tell Aiden to make the announcement. With the biggest smile on his face, he puts an arm around my shoulders. “We have the best news to tell you all.”
Everyone starts saying, “Tell us already!”
“I am having twins. Well, Alexis is having them, but we are having twins.”
Ysabel jumps up and races to hug me. Following her is Shannon. One by one they hug us, kiss us on the cheeks, and let us know how happy they are.
Mama lays her hand on my growing belly. “We are going to have to get Renata to let out the dress some.”
I stare at her in shock. I hadn’t even thought about that with everything going on. Brandy gets on the phone with Renata, who agrees to come here instead of us going to her studio.
***
These last couple of weeks have been so busy with planning of the wedding and getting all the final details ironed out. Aiden has a very important photo shoot coming up tomorrow, plus the music video with One Republic this weekend. I’m so excited about that. I’ve never seen a music video shot before, and now my husband will be in one with my all-time favorite band.
Renata has done wonders, letting the dress out enough for me to fit comfortably in it. She has also put in a few extra inches, since I seem to be growing every day. Everyone keeps telling me I still look rather small for carrying twins, but I’m only a week shy of four months and I already feel as big as a house.
Mama laughs at me. “My dear Alexis, you are still so slim, it’s just that the dress was a snug fit for a really skinny girl. Yes, you have gained a little bit of weight, but not that much. You are still going to be the most beautiful bride anybody has ever seen.”
I spend the next hour at the barn brushing out Italia’s mane. I love the way she rubs her head against my belly. She knew before anybody who I had growing in me. “You will always be my first baby, Italia.”