I wake, uncertain of the day or time. The last thing I remember is sobbing in Saxon’s arms until I passed out from sheer fatigue. I crack open an eye. The vivid sunlight streaming in through the parted curtain reveals the place beside me lays untouched.

I slept in the spare bedroom, Saxon’s room, but it appears Saxon didn’t. I suppose he didn’t want to rub salt in the wound because that laceration is one I’m sure won’t heal anytime soon. I have no idea where Sam went, or if he’ll ever come back.

Rolling to my side, I reach for Saxon’s pillow, his scent instantly calming the storm. Cuddling it to my chest, I close my eyes and wonder what comes next. I’ve made my choice, and although I would give anything to take away Sam’s pain, I have to deal with the consequences because this was never going to be easy.

Will Saxon move back to Montana? He has just put his life on hold. Before coming here, he ran a successful business back in Oregon. I can’t just expect him to come back to a place he was so desperate to leave.

The bedside table buzzes, and I see my cell laid atop the mahogany wood. Saxon must have left it in here for me. These little things make me love him all the more.

Brushing my matted hair from my cheeks, I sit upright and reach for my phone. I don’t bother to look at the screen. “Hello?”

“Lucy? Oh god, you sound awful. Are you sick?” Anna, my work colleague, asks.

“Something like that,” I hoarsely reply.

“I’m sorry to call, but I just wanted to let you know Liam and Franny will be coming with you.” My brain is completely fried because I have no idea what she’s talking about. My silence must clue her in to my current predicament. “They’re coming to Syria with you.”

Crap.

Thanks to my life turning to shit in the span of twenty-four hours, I completely forgot I was supposed to be leaving for Syria in two weeks. I was supposed to go for three months, but after everything that’s just happened, there is no way I can go.

My job is to help people in need, and currently, I’m in no state to help anyone. I can’t even help myself. There is no room for error, and with my mind the way it is, I’ll just end up putting myself and others in grave danger. “Anna, I don’t think I can go. Some personal stuff has happened, and well…”

“It’s fine, Lucy. You don’t have to explain.” This is one of the many things I love about Anna. She doesn’t pry. She deals with enough drama. She did raise eight children who were all girls. “I’ll let Terry know. Do you think you could do some legwork for us? We could really use your expertise. You do know all the right people.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” I smile. It’s a nice change from wanting to row my pity boat down my river of tears. “Email me everything, and I’ll get to it ASAP.”

We say our goodbyes, and I decide, with no time to waste, to get started on my day. My body feels heavy, drained from the moment I place my bare feet on the cool floor. This pity party for one has to stop. No more tears. Well, I’ll try.

With that as my driving force, I make my way into my bedroom, not at all surprised to see the bed unslept in.

Reaching for my underwear, a white tee, and overall shorts, I head for the shower. The warm water is utter bliss, kneading out the knots in my body. I stand under the spray, hands splayed against the tiles as I think everything over.

My parents will be here any minute, and the thought of having to relive what just happened turns my stomach. Not to mention, I will have to confront Kellie and Greg for what they did. All in all, the next few months can go to hell.

My only saving grace is Saxon. I remember spying on him like a thief in the night, encroaching on a very private moment when he was in here pleasuring himself. I couldn’t turn away because the sight of his broad back, the droplets of water trickling over his muscled planes, and the breathless pants leaving him as he fisted his long, elegant shaft were just too much. I should have known then I was in deep trouble. Who would have thought just how much so?

Quickly turning off the faucet, I dry my heated skin and dress, as being in here is stirring memories that leave me feeling guilty. Sam doesn’t need me flaunting my desire for his brother. I’ve hurt him enough.

Brushing my wet hair and tying it into a top knot, I decide then and there to attempt to keep my hands to myself. Yes, I’ve declared my love for Saxon, but that doesn’t warrant me rubbing Sam’s face in my choice.

Applying some light makeup so I don’t resemble the living dead, I make my way into the kitchen because I need a shot of caffeine—stat. I turn the corner and almost trip over my bare feet because standing in my kitchen is a very sweaty and dirty Saxon Stone.

His back is turned, so he’s not aware of me ogling him as if he’s my next meal. I know I said I’d behave, but Jesus H. Christ, I have to wipe the drool from my chin. His faded blue jeans sit low on his narrow waist, his dimples of Venus accentuating his perfect behind. His back is brawny, every muscle defined and perfectly ridged. His upper shoulders go on for days, and when he raises his mug, taking a sip of what I presume is coffee, the sunlight rebounds off his arm, enhancing the pulsating colors in his tattoo sleeve.

I know he’s not wearing any underwear because his jeans sit low enough to reveal he’s bare beneath. If he only just turned a fraction, I’d be able to feast on his mouthwatering V. As I stand on my tippy toes, head tilted, hoping to catch a glimpse, I realize I’m totally busted.

“Good morning.” His cocky voice has me yelping and almost toppling to the floor.

I do however have to hold the top of a chair for support because when he turns over his shoulder, the tattoo on his flank comes into full view. I suddenly have the urge to run my fingers over each letter, watching as his flesh prickles with my touch.

Remembering my promise some two seconds ago, I tell my raging libido to take a back seat and get my head back in the game. “Morning. Please tell me that’s coffee.” Saxon smirks as he wiggles the freshly made pot.

I practically run for the liquid gold but am about to poke out Saxon’s eyes when he places the loot behind his back. “If you value that arm, you’ll give me that pot right now.” He chuckles, the husky tenor shooting a current all the way to my toes.

“Only if you say please.”

I’m not above begging when it comes to coffee, especially when the bitterness mixes with Saxon’s earthy scent. It draws attention to his chest, and the reason he smells so good. “What have you been doing?” I really wish I had a better poker face, but I can’t help myself as I examine the light hair sprinkled between his firm pecs. Beads of perspiration tangle in the silky tufts. One trickles down the center of his chest, finding a home in the light dusting of curls painting his belly button.

Focusing on anything other than wanting to jump his bones, I notice the smears of dirt on his flank and jeans. That earthy scent, combined with his natural manly aroma, is one I wish to bottle. “I was feeding the animals,” he explains while I nod like a bobblehead, still transfixed on all six-foot-four of him. “Lucy…”

“Hmm?”

“If you don’t stop looking at me like that, I won’t be held accountable for my actions.”

“Like what?” I absentmindedly ask, unable to look away.

When his abs twitch, a moan fills the room. It isn’t until I’m pressed against Saxon’s chest that I realize the sound came from me. Peering upward, I get tangled in his heated stare. “Like you want me as much as I do you.”

“Odds are…I probably do.” He confirms my claim when I feel something deliciously hard stir between us. “Oh, god…” I’m on the cusp of succumbing to my desires, but Saxon, being the practical man he is, puts everything into perspective.

“I think, after last night, maybe it’d be best we keep the PDA behind closed doors.” Reality sinks in even though being lost in fantasy was fun for a while. He’s right. His battered and bruised appearance only supports the cause.

With the tip of my pointer, I trace over his wounds, wishing I could erase each one. “You’re completely right. I was thinking the same thing. I just got…distracted.” Just like right now. The scar above his lip feels smooth, and I need to stop touching it.

My body weeps the moment I unwind from his hold. To cope with the separation, I steal his cup of coffee. It’s a poor substitute, but it’ll have to do. “Someone from work called me this morning.” Saxon pauses from pouring himself another cup of coffee. He waits for me to continue. “I told her I’m not going to Syria.” His relief is obvious. He made his feelings perfectly clear over dinner, but if circumstances were different, I would be going. “I know it’s dangerous, but it’s my job.”

He nods, working his bottom lip, appearing to mull over his thoughts. “I know that.”

We drink our coffee in silence, but there is still so much to discuss. Gathering my lady balls, I address one of the many big fat elephants in the room. “So I was wondering…what happens now? I mean, I know you have to go back to Oregon. You’ve got a business to run. I just…”

“You what?” He leans against the counter, allowing me the floor.

Peering into my coffee, I hope the murky depths give me the courage I seek as I state, “I want to clear your name.”

“What?” he asks, a grin tugging at his lips.

“After what you told me about Kellie and Sam and the SATs, surely we can speak to someone about what happened, and they’ll help clear your record or something.” I don’t actually know if that’s possible, but we have to try. “I hate that your choices have been limited because of what happened. I mean…”

Saxon stops my rampage by placing a finger to my lips. “I love that you want to right the wrongs of my past, but I don’t care anymore.”

“You should care,” I stubbornly mumble from around his finger.

He smirks. “I’ve moved on and so should you.”

“Saxon…”

“I mean it, Lucy. It’ll just stir up old feelings and memories I’ve tried so hard to forget. It’s not worth it.” The fight in me dies when I read the gravity behind his words.

“Fine, but don’t think for one minute that Kellie is getting away unscathed.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He smirks, and my god and all the saints above, he is so handsome.

“I just wish I could do something more. I hate that she got away with what she did.” I know I’m opening old wounds, but I can’t stand back and watch this injustice occur. Kellie deserves some form of punishment or repercussion for what she did. But instead, she’s probably enjoying her second Long Island Iced Tea at the country club.

I don’t realize I’m grinding my teeth until Saxon runs his fingers along my jawline. “You can’t help but try to fix everyone’s problems, can you?”

“I don’t like bullies,” I reply, my convictions coming to light. “I stand up for what I believe in…and I believe in you.”

His thumb drifts across my bottom lip. “I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you, too. And you can thank me when I expose Kellie for the evil witch that she is.” Saxon’s gruff laughter has my nerves calming somewhat, but I’m still furious.

When the gravel crunches, revealing someone has just pulled into the driveway, Saxon looks over his shoulder. His sigh hints that whoever it is will just add to my foul mood. “Looks like you’ll get your wish sooner than you thought.”

He tilts to the left so I can see who it is. “Great,” I mutter under my breath when I see Kellie and Greg’s Audi Q7. We both watch as his parents and Sam emerge from the car. Kellie looks prepared for battle in her best Prada number while Greg and Sam trail behind.

Suddenly, I need something a lot stronger than coffee, so I open the freezer and produce a bottle of vodka. “One of the many reasons I love you,” Saxon declares, offering me his mug. I pour a decent helping into his coffee and do the same with mine.

When Kellie comes barging through the back door, I suddenly wish I’d skipped the coffee altogether and just stuck to the hard stuff.

She almost falls flat on her face and does a double take when she sees Saxon standing topless in my presence. “So it’s true then?” She poses it as a question, but it’s more of an accusation.

“It’s true that you’re a meddlesome, infuriating woman who can’t help but baby her adult son? Yes, yes, it is,” Saxon quips, which infuriates her further.

“Don’t you be smart with me. How could you do this to your brother? And you…” She turns to glare at me something wicked. “I don’t know what’s come over you, but you must stop it this second.”

“Stop what?” I inquire, deadpanning her.

“This!” She gestures around the room with a dramatical flair. This would be comical if I wasn’t so flipping mad.

“I see Sam couldn’t wait to tell you all the gory details. Pointing fingers at Saxon, no doubt.” I put a stop to her rampage with my candor.

She soon recovers, dropping a bombshell of her own. “Sam was arrested last night. For drunk driving. Sheriff Marks had the good sense to call us. Luckily, he’s known our family for years and was kind enough to forget this little indiscretion ever occurred. This could have been very serious—”

“If you didn’t bribe your way out of trouble like you always seem to do?” I finish for her, sickened that she gets away with such behavior. She isn’t above the law, and quite frankly, her babying Sam has done nothing to curb his ways.

Saxon rests beside me, quietly drinking his laced coffee. He knows when to pick his battles, and this time, he’s staying out of it. This is between Kellie and me, and I plan on having it out with her, once and for all.

She tugs at her pearl earring, out of sorts as I have clearly rained on her martyr parade. “I beg your pardon. All I did was save face for this family. A little gratitude would be appreciated.”

“Gratitude?” I scoff, folding my arms. “For what? Punishing one child to save the other?”

She blinks once. “I did no such thing.” But I’m done with pretenses.

“Quit it, Kellie. I know everything. I know what you did to ‘save’ your kids.” I can’t help but air quote my sarcasm. “It wasn’t bad enough that you allowed a nine-year-old little boy to deal with a traumatic event on his own, but then you had to ruin his adulthood as well. Sam was also to blame for what happened, yet your favoritism toward him changed Saxon’s life forever. His possibilities were limited thanks to you and your ‘gratitude.’ So don’t you dare stand here and expect me to bow down at your feet.” I don’t feel any better at the end of my rant, but I’m glad to get it out in the open.

Kellie stands dumbfounded. “How da-dare you speak to me that way.” Her falter reveals I’ve hit a nerve. “What have you done?” She directs her question at Saxon. “You’ve once again managed to poison this family. I hope you’re happy.”

Just as I’m about to swoop on in, Saxon shakes his head, visibly disgusted. “At one time, I gave a fuck about what you thought of me, but now, I know you’re the one with the problem, not me. My entire life, I lived in Samuel’s perfect shadow, so in a way, I should thank you.”

A pickax could cut the thick tension.

“I should thank you for being the world’s shittiest mom because if it wasn’t for you, I’d most likely be stuck in this shithole town, doing the same nine-to-five boring ass job and watching the love of my life play happy family with that son of a bitch you call your son. I don’t want anyone’s pity because life is what you make of it, and I’ve lived an extraordinary life. So if it helps you sleep at night, then fine, blame me for every single bad thing that’s happened. It makes no difference to me because I stopped caring a long time ago.”

Tears well in Kellie’s eyes. I tilt my head to the side, contemplating whether they’re crocodile tears or the real deal.

“Darling?” Greg stops dead in his tracks as he pans the room. Kellie sniffles because I suppose the truth hurts. “What’s the matter?”

“What’s the matter is that Lucy is in love with Saxon.” Sam’s sharp voice cuts through the decay as he saunters into the kitchen. His black eye and cut lip remind me of last night’s brutality, and I once again can’t help but feel guilty beyond belief.

He avoids my stare and makes a beeline for the coffee. Helping himself to a cup, he leans against the counter, drinking like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Is this true, Lucy?” There is no judgment behind Greg’s question, only curiosity.

Shuffling my feet, I nod. “It’s true.”

Saxon is wise to stay put. Having him come to my rescue won’t do us any favors. All it’ll do is incite more arguments and make him look like the bad, well, badder guy.

“I don’t understand how this is possible. When did this happen?”

“We didn’t plan it. It just happened,” I explain. Even though my response sounds like the world’s lamest excuse, it’s the truth.

“You just happened to fall out of love with one of my sons and in love with another?” Kellie mocks, not hiding her contempt.

“I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t understand it myself, but what I do understand is that I love Saxon. Very much.” I risk a look at Sam. He’s stone-faced, but the twitch below his right eye betrays his anger.

“And you love her?” Greg asks, directing his attention to Saxon.

“Yes. I do. I always have. It’s why I did what I did.” Greg needs no explanation. “I’d hoped Sam would leave once I aced his SATs. But you both made sure that never happened.”

Greg clears his throat, clearly embarrassed, while Kellie attempts to salvage her reputation. But we’re way past that. “It was never—”

“Save your breath. I’ve told her everything.” Saxon quickly interrupts her speech. “She knows what I’ve done, who I am, and yet—” he turns to look at me “—it doesn’t seem to make a difference to her. She loves me, regardless of the fact I’m far from perfect.”

“No one’s perfect,” I whisper. I’m the textbook example of that.

Our attention never wavers from the other, exchanging silent comfort. We’ve got a long road ahead, but with him by my side, I know we can accomplish anything. Sam, however, doesn’t see the sentiment, but I don’t expect him to.

His slow clapping fills the room. “What a lovely story. I’m so pleased you bonded over my misfortune.”

“Sam, it’s not—”

“Don’t bother.” Saxon interjects, throwing our rule to the wind as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. “It’s always easier to blame someone else instead of taking a good hard look in the mirror.”

Sam glares at our union like we just told him to go fuck himself. He pushes off the counter, a fire burning. Saxon swiftly pushes me from harm’s way, ready to finally put this to bed. I don’t have time to intervene because a gruff voice, a voice which has been my saving grace since I first heard it, booms through the kitchen.

“Boys, that’s enough!”

My father stands in the doorway, looking at the scene before him. My mother is by his side. Embrace the chaos, she said. Well, this right here is embracing it with both hands.

I’ve never been happier to see my parents, and once again, they’re saving me from heartache. They saved me when I was a nobody and have loved me unconditionally ever since. I haven’t told them the full story, but they only need to take one look at me to know that things have changed.

“Lucy…” My mom’s eyes fill with tears when she sees me, back up against the wall, breakdown number five hundred impending.

I don’t deserve her sympathy, but it feels nice to have someone in my corner. Sadly, Kellie shits on our happy reunion. “Thank god you’ve arrived. Maybe you can talk some sense into your daughter.”

“I’m sure whatever decision she’s made is one she hasn’t made lightly.” My father is quick to shoot her down. Greg clears his throat once again.

My father’s quip does not deter Kellie in the slightest as she casually straightens out her dress. “I wouldn’t be so sure. She’s decided Sam is no longer the man she wants to marry because it appears she’s in love with Saxon.” The word intended to represent all that’s sacred has never sounded dirtier than when spoken from her lips.

I rarely see my mom lose her temper, but right now, she looks seconds away from imploding. “If you’re implying that what Lucy feels is not genuine, then you don’t know her at all. I know my daughter, and this decision is one she has not taken lightly. I’m sure the same can be said about Saxon.”

I’ve never been prouder to be their daughter.

My mom focuses on Sam, who lowers his gaze. “I’m sorry, Samuel. I know you must be hurting, but taking your frustrations out on Lucy is unfair. She has been there for you, through thick and thin, and now, it’s time you do the same.” She looks at me with nothing but love. As does my father.

They will always see the good in me even when I can’t.

Kellie isn’t one for sentiments, though. “He needs to do no such thing. Lucy cheated on him, Maggie. They were engaged to be married, in case you’ve forgotten.”

And there’s that word again. One I should get into the habit of hearing.

My dad rushes forward, ready to defend our honor. But my mom doesn’t need saving.

“Don’t patronize me, Kellie. I never said this situation is ideal, but we must deal with it as best as we can. Lucy is aware of what she’s done, but I raised her to be an honest young woman and never to be afraid to stand up for what she wants.” I love this woman so very much.

My emotions are shot, but Saxon’s soft breathing lulls me into a calm state, and I rein in the ugly tears. I feel somewhat better knowing that my parents support my decision. But Kellie doesn’t take too lightly to being upstaged. Nor does she appreciate her favored son being treated as second best.

Staring at me, she curls her red lip. “You raised a tramp, one who has no morals or decency. She broke my son’s heart, and it’s only a matter of time before she does the same to Saxon. He’s just too blind and stupid to see her for what she is.”

My mouth falls open, and the room is silent—the calm before the storm.

It takes me a few seconds to realize she actually said what I thought she did. She’s never been one for small talk, a quality I once admired, but now, I just feel ill.

My mother’s porcelain cheeks blister a scarlet, and she advances forward, ready to give Kellie a piece of her mind. But she stops dead in her tracks when Saxon steps out in front of her, his rage almost blinding us all.

“Get out,” he sneers, his towering frame soaring over hers.

“How dare you,” Kellie exclaims, burning holes straight through him. But he doesn’t waver. “I’m your mother. You will not speak to me this way.”

“My mother?” He snickers, shaking his head. “You may have given birth to me, but you’re not my mother. I gave up on that notion a very long time ago.” She attempts to interject, scowling at me, but Saxon cuts her off. “Lucy is not a tramp.” He swallows down his fury. “She’s good, pure. And every day that she’s with me—” he pauses, taking a breath “—makes me want to be a better man. You have no idea of her strength because you’re not even half the woman she is. Now get out.”

The anger is radiating off him, and honestly, I’m afraid of what he’ll do if she doesn’t leave. Sam watches on, too afraid to say a word because at this moment, I can see who the alpha dog is. Saxon is commanding and all man as he stands up for what is his. Saxon has been patient with Sam, but no more.

Greg places his hand on Kellie’s shoulder, hinting it’s time to go, but she shrugs him off. She doesn’t allow Saxon to intimidate her, and I can finally see why they bump heads—they’re carbon copies of each other. Both stubborn and strong.

“This isn’t over,” she warns, but Saxon scoffs.

“It never is with you.”

Kellie looks over at Sam, hoping he will swoop on in and save the day. But he takes after Greg—passive and happy to watch life pass him by. I once admired this quality about him, but now, it makes me appreciate Saxon’s tenacity even more.

“You heard Saxon. I think it’s best you leave,” my father says, stopping by my mother’s side. Make no mistake, gentleman or not, he will throw her out if she refuses to go.

“This is Samuel’s home. I will leave only when he asks me to go.” She obstinately stands her ground, and I stubbornly stand mine.

I walk to Saxon and stand by my man. “It’s my home too, Kellie, and I want you to leave.” When she purses her lips, I reach for Saxon’s hand. “Now.” Kellie pales, her gaze flicking to our linked fingers.

“You’ve brought shame to this family. You both have.”

“This family lost its integrity a long time ago.”

“Thanks to you, my son,” she venomously spits, eyeing his inked flank.

Her antagonism toward Saxon is nothing new, but each time she spews her malice, I lose whatever shred of respect I have left for her. Saxon has reached his quota and surprises us all with his admission. “Well, I’ll do us all a favor and unburden you… I’m no longer your son.”

I squeeze his fingers because no matter what, I’ll always be his family.

“Saxon…” Greg finally speaks up, his sorrow apparent, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before Kellie backs down.

“Suit yourself. Come on, Samuel.” She addresses him like a child, expecting him to follow, but I almost fall over my feet when he stays put.

“I’m not going anywhere. This is my home, and right now, I think it’s best you leave.”

I actually feel sorry for Kellie because Sam appears to be the only person who can evoke any emotion from her. But after having her call me a tramp, I’m thankful Sam has asked her to leave.

“Come on, darling. Let’s all calm down before we say things we’re bound to regret.”

“It’s a little too late for that,” Saxon states firmly.

Kellie narrows her eyes and pulls back her shoulders. “Fine. You know where I am, Sam.” He nods, looking as fatigued as I feel.

I know this isn’t over, not by a long shot, but when she finally leaves, the air returns to my lungs. With my fingers still entwined with Saxon’s, I turn to him, needing his strength more than ever. He welcomes me with open arms.

I know this goes against our PDA rule, but I can’t fight it. The crazy subsides when we’re locked this way, and the noise quiets. “Are you all right?” he asks, his voice a deep rumble. I nod against him, my cheek pressing against his soft flesh. “Don’t listen to her. She’s fucking crazy.”

I wish we could stay this way forever, but I owe my parents an explanation. Pulling from his warmth, I peer up at him and smile. His strength gives me the courage to lock eyes with my mom. “Want some coffee?”

She nods, before looking at Sam. He’s propped against the counter, arms and ankles crossed, appearing to be deep in thought. A wave of nostalgia passes over me because if things were different, we would be married by now. I would be Mrs. Samuel Stone. But fate has seen otherwise.

“Sam, I really am so happy you’ve regained your memory. We were so worried.”

My mom’s soft voice seems to shatter whatever memory Sam’s lost in. “Thank you, Maggie. I appreciate that. My apologies if I offended you or Simon in any way. I wasn’t myself.”

“No apology needed. We’re just happy you’re okay.”

When his spine straightens, her guilt for her choice of words shows. “I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off. Quickly pushing off the counter, he avoids eye contact with Saxon and me. “I’m going to take a shower. It’s nice to see you again.” He doesn’t wait for my mom or dad to reply as he exits the kitchen swiftly.

My mom sighs while my father rubs her arm. “He knows you meant no harm, Maggie.”

“I know, I just…” She peers over at me and then studies Saxon. “I just wish no one got hurt. Thank you for standing up for my daughter, Saxon.”

This is the first time she has addressed him, knowing he’s now my boyfriend. I didn’t know how she’d react even though she sensed I had feelings for him way before I even did.

“Of course. I love her. Very much,” he professes to my parents without pause. “I know this situation is more than a little complicated, but I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to protect her. She has always been it for me, and I will try my damnedest to be the man she deserves.”

And this, this right here is why I love this man more than I ever thought I could.

My mom smiles, forever the romantic as tears encroach. My father steps forward, and honestly, I don’t know what he’ll say. He’s always been overprotective, and regardless of Saxon’s promise, we all know this won’t be smooth sailing. Kellie’s outburst is just a taste of what’s to come.

“You’ve proven yourself already.” He extends his hand, a gesture that means so much more than words.

I stare at the offering, wondering if things might really be okay. Saxon shakes my father’s hand firmly, and just like that, a small piece of me returns. “Thank you.” My mom nods her approval. “I’d better get dressed. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.” He looks lighter as he turns to me and lays a gentle kiss on my forehead, causing a whimper to escape me.

When he’s gone, I know it’s time to face the music. “Mom…Dad, I’m so sor…”

I never get to finish because my mom swoops forward and wraps me in her arms. “Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for. You don’t choose love…it chooses you.” Her declaration rings true because it’s exactly how I feel. I wish I felt different because knowing my choice has hurt Sam eats me up inside, but by having Sam forget me… I remembered me.

“Thank you for not being angry. I’ve upset a lot of people, but I love him… I can’t help it.” A sob slips past my lips. “He’s my ev-everything.”

“I know.” She rubs my back, allowing me this purge.

“What he did, what he has done for me…” I close my eyes, shaking my head. “I can’t not love him. Doing so would be fighting nature. I know what kind of a person that makes me…but he’s worth it, and so much more.”

Each admission chips away at my guilt. I’m a long way away from absolution, but this is a start. “Will you tell me about him?” The opportunity to detail our connection openly once again helps with closing the gaping wound.

“I’d love to.”