It’s weird leaving Carey and Hazel to the hospital and spending the rest of the afternoon on my own. I want to be there with them. I want to watch father and daughter become acquainted. God, I want to be there so badly! It breaks my heart.

When Carey told me about yesterday, how Hunter and Hazel were already the best of friends, I started sobbing. That was exactly the reaction I’d been hoping for from Hunter. I want him to want her!

And Hazel talked about her daddy all night, like he’s some kind of superhero or saved Middle-earth or something. I’m so glad she likes him. I’ve told her about him again and again, showing her pictures in the hope that she wouldn’t be shy with him when she finally met him. And it seems to have worked. She’s not talking about him like she talks about Carey just yet, but she’s definitely not as shy with him as she is with Shane or Jean.

I’m so happy—and at the same time so devastated because I can’t be there with them.

Instead, I go shopping. I hate shopping. But that’s how bored I am. I buy a few new outfits for Hazel, even though she won’t wear just anything I pick up for her. She already has her own sense of style. I was not emotionally prepared for that. I thought kids wouldn’t start picking out their own clothes until later. But I’ve become pretty good at guessing what she likes.

And then, once I’ve scoured the kids’ clothes… Yes, I admit it. I am one of those women. I buy clothes for Hunter. But only because he’s going to need some clothes as a civilian, and I don’t know if he owns anything besides uniforms and sweatpants. I don’t really know his size, but I think I have an idea because—I’m embarrassed to admit—I pick out Carey’s clothes for him, too. There, I said it.

They’re similar sizes. Hunter’s a little wider, but it’s definitely a good starting point.

I spend way too much money, but hey, it’s Carey’s… Oops. And then I pick up some sexy underwear, because you never know. But I pay for that with my own money.

When I get a call from Carey to pick them up, I drive over there way too fast.

“Mommy!” Hazel calls, tugging Carey across the parking lot as soon as I park and open the car door.

“Hazel baby,” I say, taking her into my arms. “I missed you!”

“Daddy draw!” she says, showing me a picture. Hmmm. Why exactly does she sound so proud? He’s not really a great artist…

“Wow, it’s great,” I lie. “What else did you do?”

She smiles shyly, and I look at Carey. He just smiles back and shrugs. Obviously, he left father and daughter alone for a while again today.

“Tuddle,” Hazel says, sounding all blissed out.

I run my hand over her head. “Your daddy’s good at cuddling, huh?”

She nods. “Daddy nice.” I nod before she asks timidly: “Daddy love Haze?”

“He loves you loads, Hazel,” I promise her.

She looks at Carey, who nods. “Hunter is very happy to be your dad,” he confirms.

I don’t know whether I’ve ever seen her happier than in that moment. I put her in her car seat, but before I get in, I tell Carey over the roof of the car: “He needs to tell her he loves her. She needs to know she’ll always be loved by the important people in her life.”

He nods. “Already made a mental note.” He pulls an envelope from his pocket. “Also, I’m supposed to give you this.”

My hands tremble a little as I touch the paper. A letter. A letter from Hunter.

Suddenly, I’m trembling with excitement. What did he write?

Back at the hotel, I put the letter on top of my dresser. I’ll have to read it when Hazel’s asleep—the moment she falls asleep. Carey gives Hazel a bath while I just keep staring at the letter.

And staring.

Oh goddamnit, I’m going to read it now!

I open it, after a few fumbling tries. Oh God. What did he write?

And then I see his crooked writing and remember it must have been physically painful for him to write this. Which makes it all the more meaningful to me…

I read the letter three times. Am I imagining it, or is every word brimming with love? I mean, until the last sentence—“I’ve missed you”—he’s only written about Hazel, but it sounds like he’s talking about me, too. Like he’s not just hoping for me to let him see Hazel, but to let him see me, too.

When I read the letter for the fourth time, tears run down my cheeks. I’m nearly positive he still loves me.

“Mommy try,” Hazel observes as she scurries out of the bathroom wrapped in her fluffy robe.

Carey squeezes me for a second before distracting Hazel with a book. They get set up to read it in bed, and it doesn’t take her long to fall asleep against him. He carefully tucks her in and whispers, “So? What did he write?”

I sniff. “That he wants to be part of her life and hopes I’ll let him.”

“Well? Are you going to let him?” Carey teases.

“There’s nothing I want more in the world,” I reply.

He nods and glances at Hazel, but she’s sleeping like a log, so he turns on the TV. I sit down at the little desk in the corner and take out some of the hotel paper to write back.

If you think I wrote that dry-eyed, you’re sorely mistaken. I tuck it in an envelope and hand it to Carey. “Can you give this to him tomorrow?”

“Sure thing.”

I also hand over two shopping bags. “I went shopping today.”

“For me?”

“No, for Hunter. I didn’t know what kind of clothes he has. What made it back from Afghanistan. So I just bought him…well, everything.”

Carey grins. “You bought him boxers?”

My cheeks go pink. “I… I just…”

He laughs his head off. “You’re so funny, doll. It’s unbelievable.”

“You want him to go without underwear?”

He shrugs. “If he wants to.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t, liar.” He smacks the mattress next to him. “Come on. Let’s watch some trash.”

“Just a second. I’ll go brush my teeth and put on some PJs.”

“Sure. Go put on your flannel sack. I bet Hunter would get silk and frills.”

I blush hard. It’s like he knows I was shopping for sexy underwear today. Carey jumps up and runs over to the rest of the shopping bags.

“No, Carey! Don’t! That’s private!”

Obviously, he doesn’t stop, not until a La Perla bra is dangling from his fingers. “Gotcha!”

“Carey,” I whine, surely red as a tomato.

He smiles. “So you’re planning to seduce my brother, wounded and injured as he is.”

“I…”

“Admit it! You want to take advantage of the fact that he’s helpless and—”

“Oh my God, I can’t stand you!” I wail as he goes back to pawing through the bag.

“Hmm, sexy, sexy. I knew you were keeping the good stuff for Hunter!”

“Oh my God. Carey Tilman, you’re such a nutcase!”

He smiles. “What, you’re only realizing that now?”

“No, but it amazes me anew every day.”

He shoots a bra over to me like a slingshot. “Off you go. Put on your flannel sack so we can watch Duck Dynasty.”

“Carey—”

“Don’t.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“Yes, I do.”

“What am I going to say then?”

“That you wouldn’t use Hunter. But you don’t need to say that because I know. And, besides, I know Hunter loves a good BJ.”

Rolling my eyes, I turn around and head to the bathroom. Just before I disappear inside, I turn around again, grinning. “He does indeed.”

When I come out, Carey’s waiting for me on his bed with popcorn ordered from room service. I sit next to him, and we watch some trash together until I get tired and slip into my own bed.

“Sexy dreams,” Carey whispers before he turns off the light.

“Oh yeah,” I murmur.

“About Hunter?”

“Mmm.”

“You’ve got it so bad it’s disgusting.”

“Oh, shut up.”

He laughs. “Good night, doll.”

“Night, asshole.”

I have to smile when I hear his amused snort. Oh, I love my family.