When I walk back in the flat, it’s my mother’s laughter I hear before I see them. She’s sat at the dining table, a glass of white wine in hand as she converses—very intimately I may add—with a man I have never seen before. He notices me first, looking up when I walk through the door and smiling a bright smile. As if sensing I’m there, my mum turns to see me, her face flushing like she’s been caught doing something naughty.

“Sasha!” she sings, immediately rising from her chair and rushing over to me. “Come and meet Eric.” She slings her arm through mine and guides me towards Eric. As soon as I’m within reaching distance, he gets up from his chair, straightening his suit out a little before extending his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Sasha. I’ve heard so much about you.”

I look to my mum. I’ve heard nothing about him. “Nice to meet you too,” I say, shaking his hand.

My mum looks at my attire and beams. “Have you been on a date with that nice, young man again?”

My heart drops, but my smile stays in place. “I have—of sorts—but it wasn’t a date.”

“Pffft,” she answers, waving her hand in front of me as she sits down beside Eric again. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. There’s no denying something’s there.”

Eric—seeing the expression on my face—says, “Laura, don’t embarrass the girl.”

“Sorry,” she chuckles, placing a hand on top of Eric’s. From the way they are with each other, I can tell whatever this is has been happening for a while now. Why my mother hasn’t told me I have no idea.

“Have you eaten?” My mum eyes me, waiting for my answer.

I nod. “I had something to eat with Brett.” Thinking they would like some privacy, I point to my room. “I’ll go.”

“Don’t be silly,” my mum says. “Come. Sit with us. Would you like a glass of wine?”

I shake my head as I take a seat opposite them. “No, thanks, Mum. I’m good.”

“Laura tells me you’re doing your final GCSE year.”

My eyes trail back to Eric who’s smiling eagerly at me, awaiting my answer. He seems around my mum’s age, good looking with cropped blond hair and bright blue eyes. He has a strong jaw that reminds me of Easton, but in no way does this guy hold a candle to Easton.

I don’t think anyone ever could in my eyes.

“Yes. My mum and I both thought it was better than doing it at college.”

He nods his head in agreement, and despite this guy seeming pleasant enough I can’t help feel guarded after my experience with Liam. This is how it all started. He was suddenly Mum’s friend, suddenly in our house for regular dinners, fixing things, and generally inserting himself into our lives. I never paid much attention to the fact he was secretly plotting to take me. I mean, why in the hell would I? I know it’s irrational to think this guy may be a raving sociopath like Liam. The odds of having two of them in my lifetime are virtually nil. I still can’t help feel it, though.

“I agree,” he says, grabbing my mother’s hand and squeezing it. I look to where their hands are clasped and curiosity gets the better of me. My mum can see it in my eyes. I want to know.

“How long has this been going on?” I point to their hands and both Eric and my mum look at one another, smiling.

When my mum looks back to me, she smiles again, but this time it’s a nervous smile. “We’ve known each other for a few years, but it’s only really in the last six months that we’ve gotten closer,” she admits.

My frown doesn’t go unnoticed. My mum already knows what I’m thinking without saying it out loud. “I know what you’re thinking,” she starts, leaning forward. “I should have told you, and I’m sorry about that. It’s just,” she clutches onto Eric’s hand, and he smiles at her encouragingly, “he was there from the beginning, and he has been there ever since. He followed me here from London and to me that spoke volumes. After Liam,” she exhales a loud sigh, and I can’t help but clamp up at the mention of his name, “it was hard for me to trust anyone.”

I feel my skin heat, and my heart starts an all out war in my chest. My mum has never brought Liam up, so I’m more than a little uncomfortable that she chose to do so now—in front of a man who is a stranger to me.

I feel the weight of Eric’s stare, but it’s only when he speaks that I turn to look at him. “I think maybe I should go.” I feel his discomfort too. It’s when my mum nods her head that I speak up.

“No, it’s okay, Eric. Please stay. I want to ask you both something anyway.” Their expressions eager, I carry on. “So I take it you two are in a relationship?” They both answer yes. I turn directly looking at Eric. “How do you feel about my mum?”

Eric—seeming unfazed—smiles, but my mum stiffens. “I love her. In fact—if I’m honest—I’ve loved her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. I was there when Liam happened, so I kept my distance thinking she wasn’t interested in me. But I was there for her. I will always be there for her.”

Despite my initial wariness, I can tell from his eyes that what he says is true. He seems sincere, and I have no doubt from the way he looks at her that he cares deeply. I can also see from the look in my mother’s eyes that what Eric just said greatly pleases her.

Rising from my chair, I smile. I have what I’m after, but I have no desire to stay any longer than I have to. It’s not my mother’s or Eric’s fault, but having Liam brought up in conversation has somehow killed my mood.

“I got what I’m after.” I extend my hand out to him. “It was nice meeting you, Eric. Please don’t think I’m being rude by suddenly leaving. I’m just tired.”

His hand comes out at the same time that he rises from his seat too. “Not at all, Sasha. I’m glad to have met you. Maybe we can all go out for dinner sometime?”

There’s hope in his eyes, so I don’t want to disappoint. “That would be nice.”

Eric smiles brightly and so does my mum. I know that whatever I think of Eric is important to her. I can also feel that she notices my slight unease, but only Liam is to blame for this. Liam is always to blame for everything.

I say my goodnights to them and venture into my room to stew. From what I can gather, Eric seems genuine and my mum obviously trusts him. I know she’ll think I’ll be mad at her for letting him follow her when we moved, but how can I after what I’m doing behind her back with Easton.

Easton.

I can’t say nothing’s happening between us as that would a lie.

Getting undressed, I slip into my PJ’s and try to get lost in a book. It’s no use, though as the thought of Liam has entered my head and won’t let go.

It’s an hour later that I hear the inevitable knock on my door. I knew my mum would be worried and come looking for me once Eric left.

“Come in,” I shout, lowering my book down onto my lap. The door—which is already ajar—is pushed open and my mum’s head peeps through. “Is Eric gone?”

She nods, walking over to my bed and sitting down at the edge. “Yes. About that—”

“It’s okay,” I smile, reassuringly. “I get it.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “I expected you to be mad at me. You have every right to be. We were supposed to vanish from thin air, move here and start a new life. I should never have told Eric where we were going.”

Leaning forward, I place my hand over hers. “Mum, it’s fine. I trust you and your judgement.”

“What like you trusted me over Liam?” I wince at her mentioning him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We both didn’t see him coming. Why would we? But you trust Eric, right? It sounds as though you’re pretty tight. You never mentioned him before.”

She grimaces a little. “I’m sorry about that too.”

“Well, tell me now. I’m all ears.”

She sighs, her eyes glancing around my dimly lit rose coloured bedroom, before landing back to me. “I met Eric before Liam. We worked together in my old firm in Richmond. We were friends, but he kept his distance a little once Liam came into the picture …” She trails off a little like what she’s going to say next will be hard. I swallow myself knowing I probably won’t like it, but I have to know more.

“After what happened, Eric instantly inserted himself into my life. I wasn’t interested in romance. What mother would be after their daughter had been abducted? He was there for me from the very beginning and continued to be there. He actively searched for you just as hard as I did. He never once gave up in those three years and for that I’m forever grateful to him.”

Squeezing her hand, I say, “I hope you’re not in a relationship with him because you feel you owe him something?” I doubt that is the case, but I had to ask.

“Oh no,” she answers, on a smile. “If I’m honest I was always attracted to Eric. I guess it was because Liam popped up first and was more dominant in his approach. Eric has always been shy. I took that shyness to mean that he liked me, but that it would never go beyond the friend mark.”

I had to hand it to Eric. I don’t know the man, but I’m happy my mum had someone there for her. With no other family, I’m the only one she has.

“I’m glad you had someone there for you.”

My mum looked down, a sudden tear slipping down her cheek. “He was. But who was there for you?”

“Hey,” I answer, nudging her hand as she sniffles. “I may not have had anyone in person, but it certainly sounds as though I had you and Eric there in spirit. And that is—above all else—what matters. You had Eric there when you needed someone the most. He was there through all the bad times, and for that reason alone, how can I blame you for not letting him follow you? If you’re happy, then I’m happy. It’s time you let someone in your life. I’m just glad you let your heart open up enough to entertain the idea.”

My mum—not missing a beat—looks at me sceptically. “Is that why you’re hesitant with Easton? Does he scare you?”

More than you’ll ever know. But not for the reasons she’s asking.

“I like Easton. Really like Easton,” I admit. “It’s just things are a tad complicated right now. I’m right into my GCSE’s and I don’t want any distractions.”

Way too late for that.

My mum smiles brightly. “You’re so sensible, do you know that?” We both laugh together and then she says more seriously, “But I get why you are. This is your year. After everything you’ve been through you deserve this year. It still annoys me that you should be going to university by now. Well, that’s if you ever want to.”

She looks across at my desk at the same time I do. I had been dabbling lately in a little project. I was making bracelets and blinging different objects. My next project will be my phone. I don’t think it will get me anywhere, but I enjoy doing it. When I’m creating all I think about is that. It’s a relief from the reality that the world brings at times.

“Those bracelets are beautiful,” my mum says, rising from the bed and picking the one I had recently finished. One that had multicoloured thread and beads that read “Believe.” She then picked up the one beside it that was similar, but read “Aim Big.”

“You can have one if you want.”

My mum snaps her head my way. “Really?”

“Yes. Pick one.”

She looks down at them, but aims the one that reads “Believe” high in the air. “I think this one, because I never stopped believing that I would one day find you.”

For a moment no words are shed. Just unshed tears. I smile encouragingly at my mum as she places it on her wrist and admires it. “It looks good on you.”

She walks back to my bed, but doesn’t sit. “That’s because you made it.” She looks down to my book, then back up to me. “I’ll let you get some sleep. Goodnight, Sasha.”

“Goodnight, Mum.”

She walks to the door and before she leaves, I say, “Oh, Mum.” She turns around, awaiting whatever it is I want to say. “I’m happy for you.” That’s all I say, but I know it’ll mean so much to her.

My mum doesn’t say anything. Just smiles, nods and slightly closes the door behind her. I know once she’s away from that door the tears of relief and of sorrow will come. I know because it does for me too.

I lay in bed that night going over my life before and after Liam, knowing full well that nightmares would come, but happy in the knowledge that they weren’t real.

But no matter how hard I try to convince myself that they aren’t, they still seem so … vivid.