Chapter Eight
The day of the fire had started off like any other day in Slumberton. Kate was off for three days after pulling a long week at the firehouse, sleeping over, and waiting for something to happen. Not much did in Slumberton. A few vehicle fires, an occasional rescue, but that particular week had been noticeably slow. She’d been waiting, just waiting, for something they could respond to. A life to save, a difference to make.
She’d give anything to take all that back now.
You wouldn’t have known it would be an important day in Kate’s life given the way it started out. She’d washed her truck that morning, stopped by The Plot Thickens to say hey to Randy before picking up a few groceries at the Stop and Shop. Instead of mowing the back lawn as she’d planned, she’d goofed off that afternoon and lost herself in a movie on television, the name of which she couldn’t have told you, even at the time. The bright spot would be happy hour with a few of her friends and coworkers at Mitchy’s, the most popular of the three bars in town. As usual, she and her pals from the station would drink and joke and argue good-naturedly before the party would inevitably break up around ten p.m. They’d all disperse by foot or cab to their various houses and do it all again the next week. It’s what you did in a small town.
Only happy hour that day never happened.
She’d been on her way to Mitchy’s when she heard the screams. It had taken her a minute to understand that they were not sounds from a raucous barbecue, or teenagers goofing off with nothing else to do in the small community. No, these were inarguable screams of panic, raw and shrill, and awful. A shiver moved up Kate’s back when she heard them. Instinctively, she followed the sound, doubling back from her route to the bar, stopping only to grab a blanket from the backseat of her truck. Once she changed direction, it wasn’t the screams that led her to the house, it was the billowing smoke, beckoning her like the most garish of genies. She called it in on her phone as she ran, only discovering once she got closer that it was the Higgins home on fire.
Eva’s and Ren’s.
Her heart stopped and adrenaline surged.
“We got a house fire,” she told dispatch, doing everything she could to remain in control, to honor her training. “Twenty-four ten Claymore. House at the end of the street. Possible three people inside. Smoke billowing and flames visible.”
The screams she’d heard had come from a gathering of neighbors, who stood along the curb looking on, horrified. When she arrived on the scene, Kate quickly assessed the situation and asked if anyone knew the cause or if anyone was inside. No one did. One of her older neighbors, a man, moved toward the house and back again. He wanted to do something but wasn’t sure what.
“Sir, I need you to move back. Can you do me a favor and move everyone across the street?”
Grateful for a task, he nodded emphatically and did as Kate asked.
Flames were already visible on the exterior of the home, licking their way up the B side of the house, which was bad news because she didn’t have her gear. Protocol would keep her outside the building until backup arrived and she was properly outfitted in her turnout gear and radio, but protocol could go to fucking hell, there could be kids in that house. Her kids, the ones she looked out for. How could this have happened? She shouldn’t have let it. It was a ridiculous notion, but it was what fled through her mind that evening.
“Stay here and let rescue know I’m inside,” she told the man before running up the sidewalk to the home. She didn’t think, she acted. There was nothing to think about. She stopped at the outdoor faucet next to the garage and doused the blanket with water. The front door was unlocked and not overly hot, which allowed her to take a step inside and assess the situation. From outside, it looked like the blaze was centered on the B side of the house, and what she saw inside confirmed that. She made an initial sweep of the small downstairs living area and kitchen. It was clear. The smoke came from the stairs off the living room, which set her on a path to the second story, and the likely source of the fire. The lungful of smoke that hit her as she ascended the stairs stalled her progress, leaving her coughing to clear her airway. Amateur move. She pulled her shirt over the bottom portion of her face and moved slowly, taking in what she could. She listened and heard the quiet sound of a child yelling the word “help” over the low roar of flames not far away. Her throat tightened and burned as she moved toward the sound, staying low, the blanket under her arm, willing her heart to slow its incessant thumping. She was in control. This was no different from any other scene.
Only it was.
“Eva, Ren, stay where you are!” she called out. “It’s Kate. I’m on my way to you. Don’t worry.” Flames traveled the seam of the wall where it met the ceiling, slithering rapidly and crackling in her ears. She took note of how fast they spread. Her calculations left her just a minute or two to evacuate the inhabitants before the fire took hold and raged beyond control. The door to her left at the top of the stairs stood closed. She squinted through the thick smoke to another door open at the end of the hallway. Unsure which room to try first, she listened. Another cry pulled her to her left and she had her answer. She placed a hand on the door and pulled it back from the heat.
“Hurry,” she heard Ren yell from inside.
It was all the prompting she needed.
She pushed the door open to see Eva and Ren sitting together on a bed, a cartoon bedspread pulled all around them, insulating them from the smoke. Ren sat in front of Eva protectively, as tears streamed down both faces. The room hung thick with smoke, and flames licked into the room from the closet. Kate quickly realized that the fire had most likely originated from the room at the end of the hallway and was burning its way right. No time to think. She extended a hand to the kids, who refused to move from where they sat. She didn’t blame them. The fire was hot and sweat trickled down the sides of her face.
“It’s okay,” she told them. “Walk straight toward me. Don’t look over there, only at me. See my eyes? Look right here.”
Ren, though tentative, stood and pulled Eva along with him, staying close to the side of the room free of flames. All the while, Kate heard a clock ticking in the recesses of her mind. They didn’t have long. When he was close enough, Kate took hold of his hand tightly. Eva automatically reached for Kate’s shoulders and she scooped her up with her other arm.
She had them.
Moving quickly now, Kate turned back the way she came only to find that the hallway had been overtaken by flames. She didn’t hesitate. She set Eva down temporarily, pulled the blanket from under her other arm, and turned to them.
“I’m going to wrap this around us. It’s like a shield and it will protect us.”
“Like on Wonder Woman?” Eva asked, tears still streaming. She reached for Kate, who scooped her up once again, holding her tight.
“Exactly like Wonder Woman. We’re going to go fast, okay?” In the distance, she heard the wail of sirens approaching and knew the cavalry was close. Police, fire, ambulance, and volunteers. The town would rally. The only question was would there be enough time? “When I say go, we’re going to duck our heads and run, staying under the blanket. Just like Wonder Woman. Ready?”
Two terrified and hesitant faces nodded, surrendering to her leadership.
She forced a smile and nodded back. “One, two, three, go!”
They moved quickly, the fire now devouring the walls of the hallway, the smoke making it almost impossible to see. This was their only shot. Eva clung to her, squeezing her arms around Kate’s neck, burying her face. Ren held tightly to her hand, the blanket pulled around them all for protection. The heat slammed them as they walked, hot, oppressive, and overpowering. The sound of the fire’s roar assaulted Kate’s ears but she pushed on, tasting the acrid smoke along the way. It felt like a million years before they neared the top of the stairs, but there they were, just a few feet away.
They were going to make it. They were not going to die in this house. At the very least, she was getting these kids out of there if it was the last thing she did with her life.
Six steps away. Now five.
She felt the fire nip at her heels, and the pain flared bright and sharp on her ankles. She shook her pant leg and kicked at it with her other foot to smother the flames.
Four steps. Three.
She coughed, struggling for air. Her lungs rejected the smoke and seized.
Two steps. One more.
That’s when the world shifted on it axis. The floor beneath them buckled with a loud, startling crack. They were falling, the three of them, to the story below amidst burning beams and splintered wood. She clutched Eva to her chest, angling as best she could to land on her back, to insulate the little girl from the impact of the fall. But Kate didn’t remember landing or the impact. Just the image of a large beam crushing the coffee table next to them on the floor, sending sparks flying into the air. The couch caught fire and went up like a tinderbox, sending a wash of heat to her face. She slammed her eyes shut instinctively and braced against the scorching flash. Kate could make out the clamor of voices as they entered the home. She turned and blinked, doing her best to see what she could in the smoky, fire-laced chaos. Guys in turnout gear. Her guys. They were here. They would help. She tried to move and winced at the pain that sliced through her back. Eva was gone from her arms. Damnit, no. What had happened to Eva? Ren was next to Kate, moaning quietly. “Help them,” she said, again and again, but her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper. “Please. Help them.”
The next time Kate opened her eyes, she was in an ambulance in front of the house. Evening had crept steadily to night, and the sky had lost the sun entirely. Rescue workers streaked past. Someone had transported her there, but she must have passed out from the smoke inhalation and had no memory of those details. Attempting to speak, she erupted into a coughing spell, her lungs rebelling against the ash and the soot. Through it all, she studied her surroundings and attempted to push herself into a seated position, ignoring the searing pain. Her skin had been burned, her arm and her side and the backs of her ankles, that much she could tell. Not badly though, nothing she couldn’t push through. She ached from the fall, but she could push through that, too. The doors to the ambulance stood open and she could hear the spray from the fire hose from nearby.
“The kids!” she heard herself call out, only her voice was raspy and sounded nothing like hers. They had her masked up and sucking on oxygen. She pushed the mask aside. “Are they out? We need to get them out.”
“They’re with Rescue Five. The medics are treating them now,” said Luella, a private company paramedic Kate had come to know and respect from the field. She repositioned the oxygen mask over Kate’s mouth and nose. “Thanks to you. Now you need to lie back and let me do my damn job.”
“I don’t know if the house was clear. Did anyone clear the house?” She sat up, wanting more than anything to go back in there but knowing that her injuries could put herself and everyone else at greater risk. It was a helpless feeling.
“Lie back down,” her captain said from outside the ambulance. “The whole place fell in on itself and the rest is about to go. It’s unstable and I’ve already given the abandon structure call. We’ll talk about why you busted in on your own later. For now, sit there and rest, and don’t fucking move.”
Kate swore quietly, feeling helpless and frustrated. “How are they?” she asked Luella.
She met Kate’s eyes. “From what I can tell, the little girl got the worst of it, but they’re both holding their own.”
“I should have been faster. Fuck.” Kate shook her head, reliving each moment, critically reviewing what she could have done better, more efficiently. It wasn’t until hours later at the hospital when she heard the news. One deceased in the master bedroom, a male in his thirties. No, no, no. She blinked at the wall as the full meaning of that information settled. Eva and Ren had lost their father. It wasn’t her fault. She knew that underneath the giant weight that sat on her chest, but that didn’t lessen the dread that descended. She swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat and gripped the metal bars along her hospital bed, looking around for something, anything she could do to take it back.
This had happened on her watch.
A single firefighter on the scene without turnout gear could only do so much with a burn already in progress. Still, she felt lost in that bed, knowing the most important person in those kids’ lives was gone. Whether or not he’d been a great father didn’t matter, he’d been their father.
“You’re a fucking hero, Carpenter,” one of the guys said, from the side of her hospital bed an hour later. His hair was sweaty, and he still had soot on his face from working the scene. It turned her stomach. She’d sustained minor burns, sprained her ankle in the fall, and scored some pretty awful bruising to her lower back. A day or so at most and she’d be released. Didn’t matter.
“No. Don’t say that,” she’d told him adamantly, rejecting the hero notion outright. In fact, it made her sick. “I should have cleared the house.” The thought consumed her, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. She combed through every detail of those critical moments, as if they were on fast-forward in her brain, looking for some small thing that she could have done differently. She found several, and they would haunt her forever.
“You are, though,” Charlie said, from the back of the group of guys.
He’d started with her in the department all those years ago when they’d been probies together. Why didn’t he get it?
“It’s a miracle you got any of ’em out, Carpenter. Focus on that. That fire was a beast. I’ve never seen anything burn so fast. Fucking balloon construction,” he muttered.
Kate wasn’t buying it. But that word, “hero,” continued to pop up over the next few weeks, in cruel misnomer. She couldn’t seem to shake it, no matter how hard she tried. The local news was no help, running a feature piece on the rescue with her as their centerpiece, regardless of the fact that she’d refused to participate or give them so much as a quote.
In the days after her release, investigators ruled that the fire had originated in the master bedroom and was likely the result of an abandoned lit cigarette. Drug paraphernalia had also been found in a cluster nearby, and the tox screen on Higgins had him more than a little high. Didn’t mean he deserved to die. She’d spent hours in front of her laptop, Googling the guy, combing through his social media pages to learn more about him. He’d been a sprinter in high school, winning the district meet. He posted occasional photos of the kids online and apparently made a mean pot of chili. She couldn’t decide whether humanizing him made it easier or harder to live with. Not that she could have pulled herself away.
Once she’d been discharged, she visited Ren and Eva, taking them stuffed animals and ice cream. Eva had smiled up at Kate from her hospital bed, her brown eyes sparkling even in the midst of all that had happened to her. How was that possible? She’d shed some tears, sure, but overall, the kid was hanging in there. “Are you really Wonder Woman?” Eva asked one day as Kate sat alongside her hospital bed.
“Nope. I’m just Kate, your friend.” She handed Eva a napkin to catch the dot of ice cream threatening to dribble down her chin.
“You look like her, and Wonder Woman saves people. You do, too.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do,” Eva said, with confidence. The words tore through Kate’s heart, causing her chest to ache. She didn’t remind Eva that she’d been unable to save their father. Thus far, Eva hadn’t mentioned his loss more than a handful of times, but perhaps the reality hadn’t had a chance to sink in. Eva seemed to be working through it, still taking in the information. Kate knew better than to push, choosing to keep her fingers off that bruise. “You’re going to be okay, you know that? Both you and Ren.”
Eva had nodded, considering the words. The corners of her mouth turned down with worry. “Maybe.” The little girl stared hard at the bedsheet she clutched tightly in her free hand. “But Dad’s not coming back.”
And there it was.
Eva didn’t cry as she said the words but seemed tired, melancholy. It was in that moment that Kate realized Eva’s unexpected strength. She was a fighter, but she didn’t deserve this. No kid did.
Kate had never thought of herself as an emotional person and was usually adept at swallowing her own feelings for the sake of keeping a level head and dealing with whatever situation she faced. That quality had always served her well. Emotions just got in the way. But this moment was different, and the tears entered her damn eyes whether she wanted them there or not.
“No, Eva, he’s not. I’m really sorry about that. He loved you very much, though. Always remember that.”
Eva nodded solemnly and handed Kate her ice cream. “I don’t think I want any more.”
“That’s okay,” Kate told her, and set the dish to the side. Eva snuggled into her blanket and faced the wall, done with talking.
Thinking back on that moment now gutted Kate as she remembered the sad resignation on Eva’s face. She pulled out her phone, prepared to call and check on the kids, see what kind of progress Jennifer over at DHS had been able to make, when a knock on her door interrupted her progress. Expecting Gia or Isabel or another one of her neighbors, Kate was shocked to see her brother standing outside her apartment. She glanced around behind him trying to assemble the pieces that had brought Randy to her door so many hours from Slumberton. Happiness to see him trumped all investigation, however.
“Randy?” she asked quietly, and allowed him to pull her into a tight hug while she rode out the surprise. He wore a red baseball cap that hid his fluffy curls and made him look so much cooler than she was used to. They’d never in their lives gone so long without seeing each other, and damn, he was a sight for sore eyes. “What the hell? How did you get here?”
“Drove. Same as you.” He beamed at her and she remembered the power of his smile. He was the kind of person whose smile was genuine, honest. She loved that about him. “Wanted to see where you shacked up.”
She squinted in amusement. “I think that means something different than you think it means.”
Randy shrugged good-naturedly. “Are you going to invite me in? I drove a hell of a long way.”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course,” she said, stepping out of the way, unable to wipe the smile off her face. After a brief tour of the space, they settled into the living room, and he got to the real reason for his visit.
“So, you were just out for a spin across state lines?” Kate asked with a quirked eyebrow.
“I guess I was just worried about you,” Randy said quietly. “You’re not the type to just run off for weeks at a time, you know? I wouldn’t be doing my job as big brother if I didn’t make sure you were okay.”
She nodded, knowing she’d have chased after him, too. “I know. Just needed to catch my breath, regroup from—”
“All the attention?” he finished for her.
“Yeah. Too much going on back home, and I couldn’t breathe.” She gestured behind her. “I was actually just about to call and check on the kids.”
“They’re doing better, from what I hear.” He sat forward on the couch. “They found the mom, who seems to be stable enough with a house and a job, about two hours from here in Santa Barbara. She’s not been entirely helpful.”
It didn’t surprise her that Randy would know the details. She was confident all of Slumberton had passed the information around three times over.
“But she’s going to take them, right?”
Randy inclined his head from side to side. “It sounds like she’s hesitant. I wish I could say it was looking better.”
She stood, anger bubbling to the surface. “That’s bullshit. These are her kids. She needs to step up for them.”
“Yeah, well, not everyone looks at family the way we do, Katie.”
“I’ll go visit her then. See if I can reason with her somehow. If she’s a decent person, like you seem to think she might be, she’ll come around.”
“Not a good idea.” He crossed to her, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Let the professionals handle it. You’re dealing with enough. It’s not up to you to sort out those kids’ lives.” He poked her shoulder lightly. “You take care of you.”
She nodded, knowing that the further in she got, the harder it was to come back out. She sighed. Randy was right, and she hated that. “Right. Yeah. I know.”
“Speaking of taking care of you”—he turned around and picked up the bag he’d come in with—“half a dozen fresh glazed from Dawn of the Doughnuts. Made this morning. Picked ’em up before I hit the road. You’re welcome.”
Kate grabbed the bag and inhaled the sweet smell through the grease-soaked paper from her favorite donut shop in Slumberton. “Oh, wow. Man, I missed these.” She hugged the bag to her chest like a long-lost teddy bear.
“Thought you might have felt that way. But don’t get caught up with those. You’re taking me for an early dinner, and then I’m hitting the road.”
“You’re not staying?”
“Can’t. The book club is meeting at the store tomorrow, and it always brings me some much-needed revenue. But take me for a steak and a beer, and I’ll tell you all the town gossip you missed.”
“Done.” She grabbed her keys, glanced at him, and smiled. “It’s good to see your face.” Not wanting to dwell in the land of sentimentality, a place she’d never been very comfortable, she thumped him once on the shoulder and headed for the door. “What’s with the cap?”
“I’m trying something new.”
She slipped into a playful announcer voice. “Randy Carpenter leaps into the land of fashion.”
“I’m too nerdy for fashion. Stop it.”
“Can’t. I’m your sister.”
Dinner was much of the same, and it felt good to fall into a familiar groove, especially with someone she felt as comfortable with as Randy. She could be herself, but at the same time not worry that someone would be whispering about her at the next table over, for the good or bad. It was the best of both worlds.
“So, what do you do here anyway?” he asked, pushing his plate away. For a slight guy, he’d polished off a twelve-ounce ribeye in remarkable time.
She raised a shoulder. “I read a lot. I’ve hit up the beach a few times. Seen some of LA, and have become surprisingly awesome at Ms. Pac-Man.”
“Ms. Pac-Man? That’s random. Since when do you play video games?”
She laughed. “No idea. Very unlike me.”
“So, that means you’ve made friends here?”
“I tend to be quiet and stick to myself, as you know, but yeah.” She nodded. “A handful. It’s been an unexpected perk. I think it’s the complex I’m staying in. Social place.”
“And women?” Randy had always pushed her on that front, wanting her to date and eventually settle down the way he had. A total broken record on the topic.
She hesitated for too long and felt it. “Nope, nothing like that.”
“I don’t believe you. Your cheeks are red like that time when you cut the hair off all your dolls and blamed it on the dog.”
“How do you know he wasn’t guilty?”
He stared at her, unwavering.
“Fine.” She set down her silverware. “There’s a woman who I’ve spent time with, but it doesn’t have relationship potential. We’re friends who…appreciate each other.”
He took a satisfied pull from his beer. He’d cracked her as always. “Why no potential?”
“She lives here, for one. Plus, I’m a mess, and she’s trying to have a baby.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah, now you get it.”
He chuckled. “You sure know how to pick ’em, Katie. Remember that time you dated that mime?”
She gestured with her beer. “I didn’t know she was a mime when I asked her out.”
“I wish you’d asked her out of that damn invisible box she put herself in at the bar that night.”
Kate squinted at the uncomfortable memory. “If you’ll remember, I did. Mortifying. The guys at the station never let me live it down.”
“What was her name?”
“Sparkles, if memory serves.”
He chuckled. “No, the pregnant, pretty girl. At least, I imagine she’s pretty. Your women usually are.”
“My women? Wow.” Kate took a swallow of her beer. “I didn’t know I had women. But yeah, she’s attractive. Not pregnant, though. Not yet, anyway. I guess that’s still coming.”
“Name?”
“Autumn.” She suppressed a smile at the sound of the name leaving her lips. She savored the feeling, tasted the word. She liked saying it.
“That’s a nice name,” Randy said. “Autumn. Shame about the screwed-up timing.”
“Yeah.” Kate’s thoughts drifted pleasantly to their date, followed by their night together. She felt heat prickle on the back of her neck and spread. She took a deep breath. “A definite shame.”
“That’s new. You really like her.” Randy leaned in as if he’d just discovered the killer in a game of Clue. “You never blush. What the hell, Kate?”
“Knock it off. So what if I do like her? You can truly like spending time with another person without having to, I don’t know, declare undying love for them. We don’t have to ride off into the sunset to appreciate hanging out with each other.” Kate had no idea why she was defensive.
“That’s true, I suppose. Is that what you’re doing? Just hanging out? Because it sounds like you’re hooking up.”
She struggled to come up with the perfect answer. Honestly, she wasn’t sure herself. “It’s been both.”
Randy sat back in his chair and stared at her with a grin that made her want to tackle him right there on the floor of the restaurant.
“It’s not going anywhere though, okay? You’re gonna have to trust me on this one and get that smirk off your dumb face.” She flashed to the eleven-year-old version of herself yelling at him in the kitchen over cereal.
“Understood,” he said, like a little know-it-all. “You got this. Let it be known that I will welcome her into the family with open arms.”
“Let it be known? I’m going to pummel you. You will fly across this restaurant.” She couldn’t pull back the smile.
“Sure you are. Come at me, bruh.” Randy’s eyes danced and he tapped his chest.
She covered her eyes. “You have to stop watching so much television. It’s embarrassing.”
He pulled his face back. “You love it.”
Underneath it all, Randy made her laugh. He also calmed her the hell down in a way no one else could. She took his words to heart, too, even when she gave the goofus such a hard time for butting in. It was good to see his face.
She hadn’t moved past the information he’d brought with him from home either. Once they’d said their good-byes after dinner, she pulled up a map on her phone and traced the thin line of the highway from Venice to Santa Barbara.
Would you look at that?
As it turned out, the two cities were not that far away.
Not that far away at all.