Lily

It was official. That man had set out to drive me insane. Every time I’d thought that he was backing down, he kicked it up a notch and made me feel the same way he had in Bora Bora. We needed to keep clear heads. We needed to just co-parent our daughter. He was my boss for heaven’s sake. I’d left early today to take Hali to her doctor’s appointment that I’d had to reschedule earlier in the month. She wasn’t a happy camper due to the shots that she had to receive. She’d let me have it on the way home and even now. The crying would stop for brief periods of time until she moved her leg and felt the pain from the shot. Then the wails began all over again.

“You’re Mommy’s big girl. You did so good at the doctor today,” I whispered in hushed tones to try to soothe the next round of shots, her letting me know how unhappy she was.

A knock sounded at the door as I was walking around the living room and bouncing my screaming daughter.

I opened the door without checking the peephole to find Thorn on the other side.

“What’s the matter? Is she okay?” he asked, full of concern as he walked into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. He rid himself of his coat, tossing it on the back of the couch, and walked over to where me and the baby stood in the room.

“She’s fine. She’s just mad that I let the doctor give her the shots today. She’s settled in the past, but today she can’t seem to get over her attitude. I’m in trouble when she gets older,” I tried to joke, but I practically had to scream overtop of Hali’s continued wails.

“We’re in trouble. Not just you. We. May I try?” he asked as he held out his arms.

I gently placed her within his clutches and stood back to see if he could calm her. At this rate, I’d need a whole bottle of pain relievers to get rid of the massive headache I was sure to have.

Within seconds, the crying ceased. He bounced her gently as he spoke to her in what I assumed was Greek. Our daughter looked up at him intently as she listened to what he had to say. Every so often she’d sniffle and then smile up at him. He took his thumb and brushed away the tears that had fallen down her chubby cheeks.

“How in the world did you get her to do that? She’s barely settled for a few moments since we left the doctor’s office.”

“She just needed her daddy. That’s all. Isn’t that right, sweetie?” he said as he cooed down at her.

She made gurgling noises up at him and kicked her legs. I held my breath and waited for the wails to start again. She made some fussing noises about her discomfort but settled back quickly once Thorn started to speak to her again. I smiled at the bond they’d developed almost overnight. I hadn’t a clue how she knew he was her father, but somehow, she had.

“You’re good with her.”

He looked over at me as he continued to bounce Hali and smiled. His smile melted my insides, but I tried to keep my facial expressions from giving that little tidbit away. I needed him to not suspect how he got to me so that we could remain civil around each other. Try as I might, I was going to do the right thing for my daughter and not just fall back into his arms only for the relationship to end badly. That couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t allow her to ever sense tension between Thorn and I. Regardless of how my body felt for him, my mind would remain clear. Friends were all we could ever be while we raised our child.

“How about I whip up some pasta for dinner and then we can talk once she’s asleep?” I suggested even if part of me only did so, so I could be in the other room away from him so I could gather my bearings.

“Sounds good to me. I’m going to continue hanging out in here with this little lady. Hopefully, I can keep her happy for a little while longer.”

Dinner was ready in no time, considering I used jar alfredo sauce and the noodles didn’t take long to cook. I’d hoped he wasn’t expecting anything fancy because I wasn’t in the mood to cook it.

I placed our food in bowls and poured us each a glass of sweet tea then called Thorn to come eat.

He walked into the room with the baby resting against his chest. He’d taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his pristine white-collared shirt. His shoes were also off his feet.

“Hope you don’t mind that I made myself a little more comfortable,” he replied as he walked over to the table while continuing to hold our daughter.

“Not at all. You can put her in her bouncy chair so you can eat,” I recommended.

“I’d rather hold her so she remains quiet. Plus, I feel like it’s been days since I’ve seen her, even though it’s only been a few hours.”

I’d let it slide this time, but I needed to let him know that I didn’t want her to be held all the time so that she didn’t get used to it. If she did, I’d never get anything done around here. I loved Hali and wanted to cuddle her all the time, but she needed to develop and learn new things. She wouldn’t be able to learn them if she was constantly in someone’s arms.

We ate in relative silence, only discussing a few things about the upcoming hotel launch. I didn’t know how to react around him. I was still unsure of his motives. That had to be discussed tonight even if the thought of that conversation gave me heart palpitations.

Once we were finished, I cleared the table and washed the dishes while he carried the baby into the other room and got her dressed for bed. She was usually down between seven and eight each night and usually slept until four the following morning. I hated that I had to share her and didn’t get that time with her, but I had to learn to share her.

He came back into the kitchen just as I was done drying the last dish with a clean-smelling baby.

“Did you give her a bath too?” I asked in shock.

“I did. I didn’t know if it was bath night or not, but I figured I had to learn sometime so it was no time like the present. She didn’t give me much of a fit, and it was over fairly quickly. Now she’s fresh and clean and ready for bed.” He cuddled Hali closer to his chest and smiled down at her as he spoke. Adoration shown in his features as she took in every word he spoke.

No words came to me. I didn’t know what to expect from him, but nowhere in my wildest dreams was this it. I’d half expected him to lose interest already since I kept insisting we had to remain platonic for the sake of the baby. But he proved me wrong and kept coming back night after night. Only I knew better than to get my hopes up. For some reason, I couldn’t get over the fact that the other shoe was bound to drop sooner or later, and if I grew to depend on him I’d get let down.

I heated her bottle for something to keep me busy. Just as I took the bottle out of the water to test on my wrist, the baby began to fuss in his arms and root against his chest with impatience for her next meal.

“It’s right here, miss impatient,” I spoke softly as I took her from his arms and placed her within my own.

She sucked the bottle down faster than she ever had before. I’d hoped to get more time before Thorn and I had the discussion I’d been putting off. It wasn’t fair to either of us to delay this talk, but I hated the unknown.

After burping the baby, we both walked down the hall to her room. He watched me read her a story and rock her until she fell asleep. The entire time he remained silent. Just watching with an expression on his face I couldn’t quite read due to the low lighting in the room. I wanted to ask why he was looking at us that way, but I feared the answer. I could take the rejection, but I didn’t want anything to affect our child. She came first. Always.

I laid her in the crib after he walked over and kissed the top of her head.

He whispered something to her I could hear before we both left the room.

He followed me into the living room and sat down on the couch, making himself comfortable.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

“I’m fine for now.”

Well, I needed something. Quickly, I grabbed the chilled bottle of white wine from the refrigerator and poured a glass. I took a big sip before I placed the bottle back inside the fridge and walked into the room where Thorn was waiting for me.

I sat down on the farthest side of the couch away from him. Mostly because I needed the distance, but I also wanted to be able to see his face while we talked. I always felt more comfortable in a conversation, especially those I didn’t particularly want to have, if I faced the person. I needed to be able to see the expressions on the other person’s face as we talked.

“Where do we begin?” I asked, not having a clue what all we needed to discuss.

“How about when her birthday is. I know nothing about her birth or your pregnancy.”

That was easy enough, I supposed.

“She was born December 8^th. My pregnancy was fairly uneventful. I didn’t have morning sickness and only gained fifteen pounds.”

“Any cravings? Were you alone in the delivery room?”

“I wanted chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and burritos all the time. My mom was in the room with me when she was born. She was small. She only weighed six pounds four ounces, but I think she’s made up for that since she’s been born, considering she now weighs almost eleven pounds.” She’d put on weight quick which made me feel better since I always worried she wasn’t getting enough to eat.

“I’m sorry I missed all of that. I’d have been here if I’d known, Lily. There are so many things I would change, but we can’t go back. Which is why I want you to know I’m going to be here going forward. No matter what. I’m not going anywhere.”

I took a moment to let his words sink in. They were nice to hear. But they were just words. Actions spoke louder than any word spoken. And so far, he’d kept his word.

Before I could respond, he asked, “Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?”

I knew this question was coming. I’d prepared for him asking me. But now that he’d officially spoken the words, any response didn’t seem good enough.

“I just felt like we needed to stick to our word and leave it at seven days of fun. When you talked about flying back with me, I panicked. I still had to officially end things with Owen, and I needed time to change my life. If I’d had known we created her when I left, I would’ve done things differently. I’d have at least gotten to know more about you, but like you said, we can’t go back.”

Those words sounded like a pathetic excuse, but they were the truth, and I’d vowed to give him the truth.

He slid closer to me once I finished speaking. Our legs touched, and I felt the warmth of his closeness start to creep up my leg. He picked up my hand and placed it within his.

I looked up into his eyes. A mixture of passion and something I couldn’t place filled the depths of his black eyes. Shivers ran up my spine from the intensity of his expression.

“I don’t want to go back. Only forward. I want you and Hali in my life. I’d never planned to settle down or have a family. But once I saw you with Owen and the baby, I wanted that to be me more than anything in the world. When you confirmed she was mine, I felt like I could finally breathe again. Picturing you having another man’s child almost did me in. This past year, I thought about you all the time almost to the point of madness. Seeing you again made me realize just what I’d been missing.”

Everything he’d just spoken was what I wanted to hear, but I feared we wouldn't last. How could we when we didn’t know each other. Plus, it wasn’t just us in the mix. We had a precious daughter to think about.

“We don’t even know anything about each other. Nothing of importance anyway. How do you know that I’m what you’re missing?”

“I know enough. Besides, it wasn’t what I knew about you that drew me in. It was the feeling I had when I was with you. You can’t sit here and say that you didn’t feel it too.”

He was right. I couldn’t deny it. Our time in Bora Bora was on constant repeat in my mind for the past year. Even more so once our daughter came into the world looking like the constant reminder I’d tried so hard to forget.

“Are you going to try to deny it, Lily?” he asked. Using his finger, he tilted my head up so that I’d look at him. Staring in the depths of his eyes, I knew I couldn’t lie even if I wanted to.

Instead of replying with words, all I could do was shake my head. His eyes pulled me into a trance, and I couldn’t look away. All I wanted to do was lean into him and have him never let me go.

“I know it’s going to take time, but we’ve got all the time in the world. I will gain your trust, Lily. If it’s the last thing I do, I will earn it. And if you’ll have me, I want to get to know everything about you. What you fear, what you enjoy, what you desire. I want to know it all.”

And I wanted to know every last detail about him too. But we’d have to take it slow. I couldn’t afford to rush anything. Especially now that I’d just gotten my life to where I wanted it to be.

“And how do you suggest we get to know each other? I mean, we did do things a little backward in most people’s eyes,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Who cares what most people think? Our opinions are the only ones that matter in this equation. How about this? We each get to ask each other three questions a day. No more and no less. They can be random little facts that the other person wants to know or something serious about the other person. No matter the question, the other person must answer truthfully.”

What he’d suggested sounded simple enough, but I had a feeling nothing about this man was going to be simple.

“Before we start, what about Hali? We haven’t even discussed how we are going to raise her.”

I knew what I wanted, but I hadn’t allowed myself to even fully think the thought. Dreaming would lead to heartache and problems I couldn’t afford.

“I know what I want, Lily, but I don’t think you’re ready to hear it. Do you like how we’ve done things thus far with me coming over each night, or is that too much? I know now is a crucial time in her life when she gets to know who people are, and I want her to know me.”

“How we’re doing things now suits me just fine. We just need to agree that if either of us has plans we notify the other person so other arrangements can be made if necessary.”

That was simple enough. Now, the question part I wasn’t so sure of.

“Agreed. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to know each other, shall we?”

“Fine, but I get to go first,” I suggested with a smirk.

“Ladies first.” The grin he gave me made me quiver, but I tampered those feelings down.

“What’s your favorite color?” I know the question sounded stupid, but I wanted to lead with something simple.

“At this moment, it’s blue.” I had a feeling he was using an innuendo, but I ignored what he was implying.

“Now it’s my turn. How many kids do you want?”

That’s what he wanted to know? What a way to lead with the heavy questions first. I’d just had a baby; my mind couldn’t imagine having another one right now or even in the near future. But I knew in my heart, I didn’t want her to be an only child.

“At least two.”

“Good to know. See this isn’t so hard, now is it?”

For him, it wasn’t. I hadn’t asked him anything remotely personal or hard. Yet. Those would come later.

“Nope. What’s your favorite food?”

“You’re really coming out with the big guns aren’t you. I love spaghetti.”

I just laughed because we at least had one thing in common. Spaghetti in all forms was my favorite.

“You’re up,” I said as I leaned back and put my head on the back of the couch, continuing to stare at him.

“How many times have you been in love?”

Did he plan these questions? I mean damn. Couldn’t he at least ask an easy one?

I didn’t know if I ever had been. I thought I was in love with Owen, but thinking back, if I was I wouldn’t have let him go so easily.

“I don’t think I ever have been. Favorite book?” I needed to lead him away from these questions somehow.

“To Kill a Mockingbird. Now what should I ask as my last question for the day?” he asked as he rubbed his chin with his thumb and pointer finger.

I was too afraid to ask. He’d already asked some heavy questions for the night. Lord only knows what he’d ask this time.

“I think I know what my last question is going to be.”

I waited for him to ask, but he remained silent.

“What’s that?” I finally asked, and my heart pounded in my chest as I waited for him to finally ask.

“May I kiss you goodnight?”

He was actually asking? I didn’t see him as the type to ask.

Without using words, I gave him my response by scooting forward and leaning toward him. He met me the rest of the way, stopping me by placing his hands on either side of my face.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are,” he whispered just before he leaned in and placed his lips on top of mine.

He started off slow, gently caressing my lips with his own. He moved ever so softly, leaving me wanting to pull him into me and have him kiss me the way I wanted. Only he didn’t. He pulled away before taking the kiss further.

His kiss was full of promise and passion and left me wanting more.