Lily

This morning I woke up with puffy eyes and a confused heart. After Thorn left, the tears started again and just wouldn’t stop. I was crying for him. For our daughter. For me. My hormones were a damn mess, and I didn’t like it. I fell asleep with thoughts of Thorn playing with our daughter and tears still streaming down my face. The tracks of wetness had dried and left streaks on my cheeks. It took some work, but I made myself as presentable as I was going to get with lots of concealers. I decided that I wanted to make an impression while feeling good about myself, so I put on my favorite pair of dress slacks that fit just right around my waist, and a light blue top with my black cardigan, and a pair of sleek black heels.

Once I was dressed to impress, I checked on the still sleeping baby and made her morning bottle just in time for my mother to arrive. I opened the door just after she knocked.

“Good morning, sweetie. How’s Hali this morning?”

“Morning, Mom. She’s still sleeping. This is the third time in a row she’s slept through the night. She was starting to stir when I walked in there, so I already made her bottle and it’s on the counter. Thanks for coming here this morning. I had to go into work early and hated the thought of taking her out.”

I grabbed my bag and decided to forgo the cup of coffee I usually made myself. Today I was treating myself to the white chocolate mocha that I loved.

“It’s no problem at all. Are you okay? You don’t look yourself this morning.”

I loved and hated how perceptive she’d always been. I didn’t have time to discuss everything this morning. I’d likely need an entire weekend to go through all of the details. Plus, I selfishly wasn’t ready to share him just yet. I needed to make sure his intentions were true before I let him out for the wolves to attack.

“Just tired is all. I didn’t sleep well. I’m not used to her sleeping all night, so I kept waking up thinking I heard her.” I hated lying to her, but it was for the best. Plus, it wasn’t a total lie. I did wake up several times last night. Just not for that reason.

“If you say so, dear. Have a good day at work. I’ll see you in a little while.”

She knew.

I knew she did.

But she didn’t press the issue. It wouldn’t last long, but for now, I’d beaten the interrogation.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll call later to check on her.”

After stopping to pick up my coffee, I went straight to the office. Waiting for the elevator to arrive, I made a mental checklist of everything I needed to do before I went into the conference room with Thorn and Trevor. Maybe I should start thinking of him as Mr. Caras. It would be bad to slip up in front of anyone and call him by a nickname I wasn't not even supposed to know. Calling him Arie was too informal for the workplace. Yep, Mr. Caras it was.

The elevator arrived and took me up to the fifteenth floor of the building in no time at all. With my coffee and bag in hand, I held my head up high when I got off the cart and walked across the hall to my office. I opened the door and shut it so I wouldn’t have any disturbances. It was unlikely since I was here forty-five minutes before the early risers even came in. I had to move appointments and meetings and get a start on the next postings before eight came around and I had to face him.

I sat down at my desk, placing my bag on the corner, and took a sip of the warm liquid before sitting down the cup.

“Good morning, beautiful,” someone spoke from across the room, causing me to push away from my desk and the chair to roll backward, hitting the wall from the force of my push. A silent scream escaped my lips as I looked around the space for who spoke.

Thorn sat across the room on the couch that was against the wall, in a suit and tie the same as the night before. Part of me missed seeing him in his swim trunks and nothing else, but I couldn’t let my brain go there for long.

“What the hell, Thorn? You almost gave me a heart attack,” I said, still trying to catch my breath as I stood and moved myself and the chair back behind my desk.

“I wanted to see you this morning before we had to be professional. I was going to bring you a cup of coffee, then realized I didn’t know what you liked. That bothered me so I came here to wait for you.”

“Not knowing how I took my coffee bothered you so much that you had to see me? That couldn’t wait for a later date and time?”

I wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but I hated surprises. I also hated someone scaring the shit out of me.

“Yes and no. I realized that I left last night and nothing was ironed out. I needed to know when I could see our daughter again. I hated not knowing how long it would be, and I wanted to discuss that with you in private.”

He looked truly haunted. Maybe he did mean what he said. But I didn’t know him well enough to trust just a look. Actions spoke way louder than words. Anyone could say anything, and it just be meaningless promises. It was what was done after those words were spoken aloud that showed the promises were real.

I sat back in my chair after I grabbed my coffee and remained quiet. I wanted him to get to know his daughter, but that meant being around him more than just at work. Could I be around him twenty-four-seven and not crack under the pressure? Probably not. But I couldn’t allow my daughter to suffer because I was weak. I’d just have to go in the other room while he was there spending time with her, but then that would cut into my time with her too. Dammit. Why did this have to be so hard?

“You seem to be lost in thought. Are you having second thoughts about me being in her life?”

“No. I’m just trying to figure out how all of this is going to work. She’s young and needs someone around a lot to get to know them and remember them right now.”

“Okay. So what’s the problem?”

He didn’t have a clue. It was so easy for him to just be around me and kiss me like it didn’t matter. But it did matter. More than he knew. I couldn’t stop my heart from getting involved. Not when seven days almost broke me. Not when a couple of hours almost ruined the walls I tried to build to get over him.

“We have to keep our lives separate from here. Technically, you’re my boss. People will judge, and I’ve worked hard to build my job here. I don’t want to ruin it with rumors and accusations. Plus, outside of here, we’ll be spending a lot of time together. I don’t want lines to get crossed. We have to be friendly for the sake of our daughter. But the kisses can’t happen anymore. I can’t handle my judgment being clouded.”

I tried to put that the nicest way possible without him seeing through my façade. The fact of the matter was that I loved his kisses. Too much. And I couldn’t let this go south and affect Hali. Her happiness was what mattered most, and two parents who hated each other wouldn’t be good for her.

“I am your boss, but that’s not going to affect anything here. I won’t allow it to. But we’ll have to tell Trevor eventually. I can’t keep that from him. Especially since he values you so much. As far as keeping this outside of here platonic. I’ll agree to that. For now. You need to trust me, and I plan to show you just how much you can. So can I see Hali again tonight?”

I loved the enthusiasm in his voice as he spoke of being around our daughter. It gave me hope that this would all work out.

“Yes, you can see her. You can come over after I leave here, and we can talk some more while you spend time with her if that works for you.”

“Sounds perfect. We can discuss dinner later. I’ll let you get to it so you can be ready for the meeting later. Oh, and you look beautiful today by the way. Those pants… there are no words,” he replied with a shit-eating grin as he stood to leave.

“Thorn,” I said with a warning in my tone.

“I know, I know. I just couldn’t resist. I’ll rein it in.”

He walked out of the door, shutting it behind him, and I felt like I could finally breathe again. I got busy rescheduling meetings and conference calls. A few couldn’t make them for another day; which meant I would need to stay a little later for the first time in forever. I hated knowing it would keep me from Hali longer than necessary, but I had to do what I had to do to get things ready for the next launch.

Time had passed in a blur, and it was eight before I was ready. I gathered a fresh cup of coffee and my laptop before I went to the conference room to meet with Trevor and Mr. Caras. I had to keep repeating his name over and over in my mind so that I wouldn’t slip in front of Trevor. It was probably odd to others that here in the office we didn’t call our boss by his last name, but he insisted it was just Trevor. I wondered if he would let everyone call him Arie while he was here. Only time would tell.

I walked in to both men already waiting for me. Usually, I was the first person to arrive, but I had been so busy that I lost track of time.

“Sorry I’m late, Trevor. Mr. Caras, it’s nice to see you again,” I said as I sat down.

Thorn let out a chuckle, and I eyed him cautiously as I tried to figure out what had made him snicker.

“Really?” he questioned as he glanced at one of the several mugs I had in my office.

“Yes, really,” I replied as I looked down to see which mug I had mindlessly grabbed from the shelf this morning. Everyone else in the office was used to seeing my funny mugs and a few had even given me a couple as gifts.

Lady Boss was etched into the glass of this particular mug. I loved this one because it had been given to me by Trevor when I’d decided that it was time to rein in the travel and become better acquainted with life in the office. It signified a turning point in my life. Caused by none other than the man sitting across from me. The irony wasn’t lost on me as I gazed back at him from across the table.

“You’ll come to understand that each one of those mugs suits her in different ways. Sometimes they reflect her mood or her personality for that day. We all get a kick out of them around here.”

That’s one of the things I loved about this company. The laid-back atmosphere was perfect for me. I honestly couldn’t see myself anywhere else and had no desire to see what other possibilities were out there.

We got started shortly after having some idle chit-chat. Trevor discussed Thorn’s role and how he’d be integrated into the company. We also discussed the launch of the new hotel and what was coming up next for the blog.

Two hours passed quickly, and my hand hurt from all the notes that I’d made in that time frame. When I went back to read over them, I’d be surprised if any were legible with as fast-paced as our conversations went. I knew Trevor would want me to travel for the launch. I’d been prepared for that, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be nervous with all the work that went into creating the hype and the travel that would be involved to do so. I made another note to get Hali’s passport ordered so she could make the trip. There was no way I was going two weeks without seeing my daughter.

“Well, we’ve got a solid plan. Now, we just have to implement it. Mr. Caras will be introduced to everyone later this week. I’ll get my assistant to send out the invites to the meeting that will be mandatory. Thanks for getting here early and making this happen, Lily. Your dedication means a lot.”

I knew it did. That was another reason I didn’t mind what I did. I had a boss who showed appreciation when it was due, and he compensated immensely for the gratitude.

I nodded at Trevor with a smile and stood to leave.

“I look forward to working with you, Mr. Caras,” I said as I turned to leave before he could respond. I had to get out of this room. It was hard to focus on work with him sitting across from me, hanging on every word that I said.

I didn’t know how I’d make this work. But I had to. For both of our sakes. I wasn’t ready to tell Trevor, but with the way I could feel him looking at me, I’d have to spill the beans sooner rather than later.

Hurriedly, I made my way back to my office, gradually speaking to those who passed me on the way. Once I was behind my office door, I sagged against the metal and let out a sigh of relief. One meeting down. God only knew how many to go. Hopefully, they’d be few and far between while we ironed things out and got into a routine. Because I didn’t know how long I’d be able to keep my game face on when I was in his presence.

Calming myself down was easier than I thought, and once I had regained my composure I sat down behind my desk and set out to keep myself busy for the rest of the day. I messaged Owen and asked if he and Audrey could relieve my mother since I had to work late. Once I received confirmation, I messaged my mom to check on Hali and to let her know of the change in plans. She told me that Hali was napping and being a sweet girl for her grandma. I loved how my mom treated all her grandchildren with so much love and adoration.

Hours passed and I even skipped taking a lunch break to keep my mind focused on the tasks I had to complete instead of letting my mind wander to the what-ifs that would plague my thoughts if I let them. There wasn’t any time for them here.

A knock sounded at the door, breaking me from my concentration. I checked the time in the corner of the screen of my computer and noticed it was just before five. I had a conference call that I needed to get ready for that started in fifteen minutes. I normally cursed the interruptions, but right now I was thankful so I wouldn’t be late for the call.

“Come in,” I called out while I grabbed the documents I’d need in a few moments.

The door opened and Thorn walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

“You about ready to go?”

“I can’t leave quite yet. I have a conference call that I couldn’t get out of when I rearranged it this morning. I won’t be leaving here until around six, unfortunately.”

“What about Hali?”

My heart swelled when his first question was about our little girl.

“My mom is at the apartment with her. Owen and his girlfriend, Audrey, are relieving her until I can get there this evening,” I informed him as quickly as I could so I could be ready to start the call.

“I could do it,” he instantly offered. It meant a lot that he would, but I needed to prepare my mother for news of this magnitude. I couldn’t just let him show up without warning her and providing her with hours of answers. None of which I had time for.

“No. That’s not a good idea. I haven’t even had time to tell them about you. It’s better if that meeting happens with preparations. Trust me. Owen should be getting to my place in about a half hour. If you want, you can meet him there around five-forty-five to make sure my mom has left, and stay with her. I’ll text Owen and let him know.”

I wasn’t trying to come off as being rude, but I had to hurry to be on time.

“I’ll do that and see you when you get home,” he replied and turned then left the office without waiting for my response.

Perfect. Just what I didn’t need two minutes before this call.

Clearing my thoughts as quickly as I could, I picked up the receiver and keyed in the numbers to enter the conference call. With any luck, this call would end sooner rather than later, and I could get home before any unnecessary conversations took place.

As I waited, I texted Owen about the change in plans and sat the phone down without seeing his response. A voice sounded on the other line of the call, and my mind instantly transformed into work mode with one goal in mind. Making the clients happy so I could go home.

An hour and a half later, they finally had all their questions answered, and I was able to shut the computer down for the night. I hated that this took so long and that I missed these precious moments with my little girl, but it was part of the job, unfortunately. I didn’t even bother checking my phone for fear of the havoc that had ensued during my absence. I just prepared myself for the worst and hoped for the best as I grabbed my bag and headed for the elevator so I could get home.