Spring awoke early the next morning, sneaking out of the bedchamber before Shaw woke. She saw the lump under the blanket and was glad his face was covered so he wouldn’t see her.
She had slept in her clothes and faked sleep when Shaw had come to bed last night. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to make love with him, it was just that she was feeling guilty for what she was going to have to do soon.
Her father was an impatient man and would not wait long before he attacked the castle. At first, she had no qualms about marrying Shaw because she was doing it for the betterment of her clan. She never expected to start having feelings for him or his children. What was the matter with her? She’d been in control of her emotions her whole life. Being around Shaw seemed to make her emotions not only rise to the surface but also spill forth. If she could just try to avoid him, mayhap she could still carry out her father’s wishes.
She made her way past the kitchen, sneaking to the spence, or larder, to find something to eat before everyone was up and about for the day. She planned on skipping the main meal as well. Perhaps she would go out riding or walking or lose herself in the orchard for a while.
She opened the door to the small room where food was stored to keep it cool. Immediately, she stopped when she saw the candle burning within. The tall, shadowy form of a man stood with his back toward her. Someone was already here and it surprised her. She started to turn around and leave but stopped when she heard the man’s voice.
“Good mornin’, Wife. Didna sleep well?”
Her heart skipped a beat. She’d walked right into the lion’s den. Shaw turned around to face her, holding an apple in one hand and chewing as he spoke.
“Shaw! I thought ye were still sleepin’.”
“Well, ye’re wrong. I’m up and about already, just like ye. Only I didna sleep in my clothes. Were ye tryin’ to sneak some food so ye could ignore me the rest of the day?”
Mayhap, she’d been too transparent with her plans. Hopefully, he had no clue she would soon betray him.
“Why would I want to do a thing like that?” she answered nonchalantly.
“That’s what I’d like to ken. Is there somethin’ ye are keepin’ from me?”
“Like what?” She strolled over to him, running her hand along barrels of salted herring and dried pork.
“Ye were actin’ odd last night.”
“I was tired.”
“Is that so?”
“Ye sound as if ye dinna trust me.” She daringly looked into his eyes to find the answer. If he didn’t trust her, there was a good chance her father’s plan would not work.
“Should I trust ye?”
“I am yer wife.”
“That’s my point. From now on, I want ye at my side at all times. No’ sneakin’ away on yer own to round up my children or to conspire with yer brathairs.”
Her body tensed. He sounded as if he knew. “It sounds like ye want a servant or a slave, no’ a wife. And I wasna conspirin’ with my brathairs. We were just . . . visitin’, that’s all.”
“I wish I could believe that, Spring, but I canna. Even though we have an alliance, I dinna believe yer faither will hold up his end of the bargain.”
She didn’t say a word.
“Just as I thought.”
“What is just as ye thought? I dinna say anythin’.”
He threw the apple core over his shoulder and wiped his hand against his plaid. “Ye didna deny it either, so I can see that it’s true. Yer faither has no plans to honor our alliance, does he?”
“What my faither does is none of my concern.”
“Well, it should be, now that ye’re my wife.”
She felt a chill from the spence and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “I’m cold. I’m goin’ out by the fire.”
“Nay.” He put his hand on her arm. Just the touch of his skin against hers had her heart racing. “If ye’re chilled, then let me warm ye.”
“What?” She looked up to see his handsome face staring down at her. The flicker of the candle made shadows magically dance upon his skin. They were alone and he had that look of lust in his eyes that made her excited. It reminded her of the night they’d made love. He had brought her to the edge of a place she’d never been before and then taken her over the precipice as well. He had managed to do something that no other man had ever done. He made her cry out in passion. She liked the intimacy between them then and liked it now as well. She’d never felt so special or so desirable as when she was with him. She couldn’t deny the intense feeling within her that she wanted to do it all again.
“Kiss me, lass,” he murmured in a low whisper. “I canna go on sleepin’ next to ye each night without even touchin’ ye.”
Her body warmed at his words and his touch. But she needed to remain in control of her emotions. She needed to be strong. “Ye sound as if it’s been an eternity when it’s only been days.”
“To me, it feels like an eternity. I’ve waited a long time, Spring. I dinna want to wait any longer.”
She needed him to trust her if she was going to help her father seize the castle for the Gunns. If she fought him now, he might become even more suspicious than he already was. “If that’s what ye wish,” she answered.
He pulled her into his arms and lowered his head, running his fingers along her jawline. Shivers of desire flitted across her skin and her head fell back on its own. Her eyes closed and she leaned into his caress. She felt safe in his arms. He was her husband. She reached out and slipped her arms around his waist, pulling his chest against hers as they kissed, forgetting the fact she would betray him soon and, once again, be his enemy.
His hands were gentle on her body and his arms were strong. Why did it feel so right when it was really so wrong? His hands slid down over the curves of her hips, settling on her back end. A small moan lodged in his throat as he playfully squeezed her rump, pulling him against his hardened groin. Her body was hungry to feel him inside her again and she felt a tingling sensation between her thighs. How easy it would be to surrender to her emotions right now.
“I canna stop thinkin’ of that wonderful weddin’ night we spent together,” he said, whispering in her ear and letting the tip of his tongue reach out to lick her. This time, she moaned with desire, turning her head as he placed kisses up and down her neck. He was bringing her to life again and she craved it.
His lips became hungry and passionate after that, claiming her mouth like a warrior claiming his territory. She liked it. It felt good to be wanted and to be his.
“Shaw, this feels so good,” she said, her deep breathing making her chest rub against his.
“Then what are we waitin’ for?” he asked. “Let me take ye back to bed, Spring.” In one quick motion, he scooped her off her feet like a knight saving a lady from danger – or in her case, her own inner emotions. She threw her arms around his neck to hold on. It would be so easy to comply. Her inner core stirred in anticipation, but her mind told her this wasn’t right and she should stop.
“Ye’ve made a promise to yer children to take them to the woods today,” she reminded him, knowing if she didn’t change the focus, she was going to take him up on his offer to go to his bed.
“This willna take long,” he said, carrying her to the door.
Her heart cried out to make love to him, but her mind brought her back to her warrior ways. She needed to focus or her father’s plans would never come to fruition. “Shaw, nay. Please put me down.” Even as she said the words, she already regretted her decision.
He did as she asked. The look in his eyes was of disappointment mixed with confusion. “Ye seemed to like our fondlin’, lass. So, ye dinna want it after all? Why?”
“I do want it, but just no’ now. When we do it again, I would like to take all the time we need – or want. I dinna want to have to rush. Canna it wait?” She heard her words, but didn’t believe she was saying them. He had her so excited, if he suggested they make love right there in the spence, she would have considered it.
But she had to stall for time until she could decide what to do about her situation. She didn’t want to hurt Shaw or the children. If she continued to go to bed with him and then betrayed him, it was going to hurt him bad. Plus, she would feel terrible for leading him on. When had she started having a conscience? When had she started caring about anyone other than herself or her clan? This was foreign to her yet, at the same time, it felt right to care. There was a battle going on, but it was an internal battle. Her duty to her clan and father dueled with her duty to Shaw and his children. Aye, there was a battle raging inside her and, no matter what the outcome, someone was sure to get hurt in the end.
* * *
“All right, everyone in the wagon,” Shaw told his children later that morning. He’d already packed up everything they’d need for their outing. Today was the day that he’d teach his children how to choose the best wood to make their own bows and arrows. Aye, today was the day he would pass on the skill to his children that he had learned from his father.
“I canna wait,” said Leith, climbing into the back of the cart. “Come on, Donel, sit back here with me.”
“I thought she wasna comin’,” said Donel, glaring at Spring standing at Shaw’s side. “If so, I’m no’ goin’,”
“I dinna want to ruin yer outin’,” Spring told him. “But yer faither has insisted I come along.”
“That’s right,” said Shaw, glad she hadn’t told the children that he commanded she be by his side everywhere he went from now on and that’s why she wasn’t staying behind. He pulled himself up into the driver’s seat of the wagon and took the reins of the horse. “Everyone in, please.”
“I want to sit in front between ye and Spring.” Colina eagerly ran over to climb into the driver’s seat with Shaw.
“Nay. Ye’ll ride in back,” he told her. “Spring will be up front with me.”
“What about Donel?” asked Spring, hoping Shaw would make his eldest son come with them.
“I told ye, I’m no’ goin’ as long as ye’re there.” Donel crossed his arms over his chest, acting just as stubborn as his father.
“Shaw,” she whispered, looking up at her husband.
“What?” he asked, fidgeting with the reins.
She didn’t say anything, just stood there and waited for Shaw to take control of his son the way he’d taken control of her. Finally, Shaw looked over to her and shook his head.
“Donel, get into the cart and stop yer complainin’,” Shaw told him.
When Donel didn’t budge, Spring stepped in to help.
“Dinna ye want to learn from yer faither how to make yer own bow and arrows?” she asked the boy.
“I’ll show him how to do it after I learn,” said Leith, popping his head up over the side of the wagon.
Donel’s face reddened. Even though he was quite a few years older than his younger brother, he always needed to have and know more than Leith.
“I’ll come with ye only if I get to sit in front. Alone with my faither.” Donel nodded, seeming satisfied by his demand. She wanted to reprimand him, but that would get them nowhere. So, she tried another approach instead.
“It’s all right with me.” Spring climbed into the back of the wagon with the youngsters instead of sitting with Shaw.
“Wait,” called out the old woman named Nairnie, shuffling across the courtyard with a large covered basket over her arm. “Take this,” she said, handing the basket to Spring.
“What is it?” asked Colina, peeking under the cloth.
“I’ve packed up some food in case ye get hungry,” said the old woman. “There’s enough for all of ye to eat just in case ye are gone all day.”
“Thank ye,” said Spring with a nod of her head. Donel climbed to the bench and settled himself next to his father. Without a word from Shaw, he headed out of the castle and toward the woods.
“I’m glad ye’re comin’ with us to the woods,” said Colina, hugging Spring’s arm. “I really like ye, Spring. I’m happy ye’re our new mathair.”
“So am I,” added Leith. “I’ve never seen a lass who can fight the men the way ye do. I feel safe around ye.”
“Well, I’m no’ so sure Donel likes havin’ me around.” She looked over her shoulder as the wagon bumped and squeaked as they headed down the hill. Donel was watching her, but looked in the other direction as soon as their eyes met.
“Donel was mathair’s favorite,” announced Colina.
“Colina, that’s no’ true,” said Shaw, talking without turning around. “Yer mathair loved every one of ye the same.”
“How about ye, Spring? Which one of us is yer favorite?” asked Leith with wide eyes. “I ken it’s no’ Donel. Is it me?”
“Nay, it’s me,” said Colina, holding tighter to Spring’s arm.
“I dinna have favorites,” she said.
“Didna ye have a favorite brathair?” asked Colina. “Or were they too bad to love?”
Spring thought of her brothers and sadness enveloped her heart. They weren’t bad. Not really. They just grew up being trained as warriors, just as she had. Although Egil and Bodil teased her a lot through the years, they also used to tell her that they didn’t want to raid, pillage, and fight. They just did it so their father wouldn’t get angry and hurt them. She knew exactly how they felt because she felt that way, too.
Being at Edinvale Castle, she was starting to feel a weight lifted from her shoulders lately. But now, with all this talk about the children liking her, as well as the talk about their deceased mother, it brought new feelings to the surface. What were the children going to say about her once she betrayed them and left forever? And what if Shaw died in the attack on the castle, fighting her clan? A shiver went up her spine and she pushed the terrible thought from her mind. She shook her head, not wanting to think about the consequences.
Her hand slid into her pocket and her fingers curled around the wooden toy she clutched as she worried. She removed it from her pocket and held it up to her heart. Her heart ached and she wished things could be different in the end. Why couldn’t their clans really be in an alliance instead of her marriage being part of a heinous plan? If so, she wouldn’t have to deceive anyone. Shaw wouldn’t hate her and she’d also not anger her father. Why couldn’t everyone end up being happy?
“What’s that?” asked Colina, spying the amulet in her hand.
“It’s nothin’.” She closed her fingers around it.
“Can I see it?” Colina tried to open Spring’s fingers.
“Let me see it, too,” said Leith.
“I guess so.” She opened her hand and showed it to them.
“What’s it for?” asked Leith.
“I just like to hold it when I’m worried. I’ve done it ever since I was a child. It helps calm me.”
“Where did ye get it?” asked Leith.
“I dinna ken,” she answered. “I’ve always had it for as long as I can remember.”
“It’s a nice toy,” said Colina.
“It’s no’ a toy, it’s a pawn from a chess set, ye fools,” said Donel from the front of the cart.
“Chess?” she asked, taking a closer look at the hand-carved piece. She knew of the game of chess, but had never learned to play it. No one in her clan had. None of the Gunns had a chess set, which surprised Spring since they’d stolen many things through the years. “Aye, I suppose it is,” she said, twirling the piece around in her fingers, taking a better look at it. Besides the teeth marks she’d put into the carved wood when she was a baby, there was only one other marking on the bottom. It looked to be letters or perhaps a word; she wasn’t sure. No one in her clan except for Fergus knew how to read or write, and she’d never wanted to share her special piece by showing it to him. Reading was a skill usually reserved for lords and ladies, not warriors like her.
“What’s goin’ on back there?” Shaw turned his head to look. She quickly slipped the piece back into her pocket.
“We’re just talkin’,” she said, not wanting Shaw to know about her secret worry amulet. Part of her felt embarrassed by it. Not to mention, she felt inferior because she couldn’t read or write. She never wanted Shaw or any of the children to know it.