She had to get over her depression. It covered everything in a dark gray tint and left her wanting to sit on the couch and stare at the wall. She could cling to a tight facade of indifference when she was out in front of other people, but when she was at home alone, there was no reason to put forth so much effort.

The date with Philip the night before should have been fun. He was a great guy and so incredibly safe for her from a relationship perspective. Sadly enough, all she'd done the whole time was talk about Damon, think about him, cry over him... it was disturbing.

"Stop it," Bethany grumbled angrily as she sat up and tossed her pillow across the room. She'd cried her way through another long night. How long would the pain and sorrow over losing him last? "Forever."

She pulled herself out of bed, using her anger as fuel to push herself through a quick shower. She got dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before pulling a sweater over the top of her head. A quick brush through her long brown hair and a pair of comfortable winter boots and she was out the door.

It wasn't her usual day to TA, but she knew Kendal could always use the help. He'd not deny her assisting for the day, and anything was better than sitting in the apartment crying all day long.

There was no way he would complain about her outfit either, or at least he never had before. She looked like a teaching assistant, and if he didn't like it, she'd leave and try again tomorrow. He didn't deserve to catch the brunt of the emotional battle that raged deep inside of her, but if he got in her way and pushed too much, it would spill over no matter how hard she tried to hold it back.

She walked through the halls of the accounting building, avoiding stares and feeling far too exposed though no one knew the baggage she was carrying around.

Pushing the door to the auditorium open, she half expected to find Kendal already working. The room smelled of stale books and mothballs, and for some reason, the thought caused her to smile. She took a seat on the front row and glanced up as the door opened.

Kendal looked incredible in his blue slacks and oxford sweater. He was a preppy bastard but did it well. How he and Damon were so close was a mystery to her, but somehow it brought her a little bit of comfort knowing that someone as good as Kendal was watching out for her man.

"Bethany." He stopped at the opening to the large auditorium.

"Hey, Dr. Tarrington." She went for casual, though there was something about him that made her want to open up and share her hurts - her heart.

He closed the door behind him and paused, giving her an odd look. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.

"It's not Tuesday, right? I don't have my days mixed up, do I?" He smiled and moved up to take the seat beside her.

"No. I just wanted to stop by to see you." She glanced down at her hands and let out a shaky breath. "I went on a date last night with Philip."

Kendal's eyes grew wide. "All right." He leaned back in his chair and dropped his hands into his lap.

"And all I could think about was Damon." She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. "He's not the right man for me, Kendal. I know he's not, but I can't get him out of my head. It's driving me insane."

"Love does that." He clasped his hands together. "Bethany, you didn't, you know..."

She glanced up, her expression tight. "Didn't what? Tell Damon? Hell no. He would kill Philip with his bare hands."

"No, you didn't sleep with this guy, right?"

"With Philip?" She rolled her eyes. There was no way in hell she would sleep with anyone for a long time. It wasn't fair to them or her.

"Thank God." He stood up and walked toward the stage. "He wouldn't forgive that."

"I know that. I wouldn't forgive it either. We might be on a break, but he still belongs to me." Did she really believe that? No, not really. It would seem things were winding down, but some part of her still wanted to hold on to hope, to dig her fingernails deep into it and not give up.

"And he believes that you still belong to him." He turned to face her. "He didn't hire Delilah. Kent did."

"How do you know that?" Damon had already mentioned it, but she wasn't sure what to believe anymore. Either way, he'd lied about it. Not mentioning it was the same as lying.

"We played golf together on Saturday, and I asked him."

"Was he angry about your asking? Did you tell him it was for me?"

"No, because it wasn't for you. I wasn't even sure I was going to tell you what I found out." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "You two are acting like fucking children over this thing, Bethany. You're not a young girl looking for your prince charming, and he's not a broken soul who can find healing in anyone but himself. You can't make each other complete."

"Says who?" She took a few steps toward him and pressed her fingers into his chest. Who the hell did he think he was? Where was the Kendal she had come to know? "Love has the power to do anything it wants to do."

"And what does it want to do, Bethany? Save you both?"

"I don't know, but I can't hold on too much longer." She pressed her free hand to her chest as her face crumbled. "I'm hurting so bad right here. It feels like someone has a fucking vise grip around my heart and I need him so badly."

"Then go to him. Let him hold you and remind you how much he loves you. Stop fighting this shit and embrace it."

"Then he wins." She pushed at Kendal's chest as an ugly cry left her. "If he wins he'll never respect me for who I am."

"You don't know that." He gripped her hand tightly and pulled her toward him. He turned his full attention on her. "Stop speaking for everyone around you. You don't know what he has to say about his feelings for you or the reason he hired Philip. Maybe that was to show you that he trusted you to make the right decisions, but you're not doing that."

"I'm not a fucking puppet." She pulled her hand from his and walked toward the door. "Your class roster is on your desk. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bethany, go talk to him. I can't solve this for you guys."

"I wasn't asking you to." She paused by the door and glanced over her shoulder. "What would you do for love? Would you give up your rights and become whatever your lover wanted you to?"

"Is he asking that of you or are you forcing yourself to believe a lie to stay protected from possibly the greatest thing you might experience in this life." His gaze darkened. He was pushing at her, and she knew it.

"Would you change everything, Kendal? That was the question."

He pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced down as his expression changed.

"Yes. I would change everything for the kind of love that promised to sustain me through loss and death, through fear and loneliness. There isn't anything I wouldn't give up for that."

"Not even your rules?" Her eyebrow lifted. She had him.

"Perhaps that's the only thing." He smirked and shook his head. "Get out of here and go mend what you've almost let get broken. It's not worth all that, and if I stand correct, neither you nor Damon have rules."

"Thank God for that." She patted the door and mumbled her thanks before walking out. Jake turned the corner and waved as he moved into the auditorium.

Good. Kendal needed someone with him. He was struggling with something that he wasn’t going to talk about obviously.

Bethany glanced down the hall to her left after holding the door for Jake. Someone that looked a lot like Damon walked toward the exit at the far end of the building. The guy hit the door hard as he walked out into the mid-day sunlight.

"Damon?" she whispered but stood frozen in place. It took a minute, but before she could stop herself, she was jogging after him. It had to be him. No one looked that good from behind in a pair of slacks. Was he spying on her or coming to see Kendal?

She paused as a large group of students walked toward her, forcing her to turn to the side to slip through them. By the time she made it outside, he was nowhere to be found. She pulled her phone from her pocket and glanced down at it expectantly as if he were going to call. He hadn't called for weeks.

After taking a few more minutes to ensure that he wasn't close, she walked around the accounting building toward the parking lot. Kendal stood beside his car with a dark-haired girl. Something was wrong, but it wasn't Bethany's place to interrupt whatever it was.

Was Kendal seeing the girl? The passion on his handsome face said that he was. There was something else there too... Fear. Loss. Terror.

"What the hell?" Bethany walked toward her car and tried to ignore the burning need to turn around and help him. She dialed Damon's number, not wanting to bother him, but needing to inform him that something was up with Kendal. It was his place to check on his friend, not hers.

"Beth?" Damon's voice was raspy as if he'd been yelling all night. Her first thought was that maybe he'd gone to a ballgame and had a good time, but that quickly morphed into him groaning and moaning with Delilah instead.

"Something is wrong with Kendal."

"Yeah, he's interested in the wrong woman," Damon barked into the phone, his voice gaining strength.

"I didn't know he was seeing anyone." She glanced over her shoulder to see the woman crying. "Something is wrong. Like, really wrong. I don't know what it is, but you need to call him."

"You go comfort him, Beth. You seem to be comfortable doing that already." The phone clicked, and Bethany pulled it away from her ear, surprised by his accusation.

Did he think something was up with her and Kendal? No fucking way.

"What?" She growled and got into her car. After buckling up and starting the engine, she called Matt and explained the situation. He promised to call Kendal and deal with Damon. Whatever was going on, Kendal needed Damon with him. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"And why the hell would he run out of class when it was just about to start?" She pulled away from the curb before pausing. If Kendal left and his class walked, he'd be in trouble. Was he leaving?

She pulled back up, put the car in park and got out. The phone buzzed, and she checked it, almost expecting it to be Damon.

"Philip. What's going on?" She got out of the car and jogged back toward the school, trying not to sound like she was out of breath. Her worry over Kendal mixed with the concern that Damon thought something was up with her and his best friend left her heart racing.

"Just calling to see if you want to grab coffee later. I had fun last night. I want to see you again."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. I'll call you when I get out of class."

"It's Wednesday. You don't teach on Wednesday do you?"

"No, but something came up. I'll call you later." She dropped the call and walked back into the building, almost plowing into Jake.

“Hey. Kendal needs someone to take over his class. I was going to tell the dean.” Jake shook his head as if he were upset.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll do it.” She smiled and opened the door. “Come give me some moral support.”

“Always.” He chuckled.

The sound of the class having a good time reached her as she pushed open the doors and walked up to the podium.

"Good morning, everyone. Dr. Tarrington is dealing with something at the moment, so I'll start us off, and he can take over when he joins us."

There was a soft cheer around the room as Bethany forced a chuckle and turned on the computer. "Get out your accounting books and turn to page twenty-eight. Just-in-time inventory is our topic today. Get excited. This is riveting stuff."

Another chuckle.

She smiled and forced her worry and angst deep down inside of her. "What? You know you love it. Let's get started."