Chapter 13
Avidya
Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Time passed, and I kept on going through each passing minute as well as I could. I didn’t worry about the possibilities. I didn’t worry about what could happen later on in my life. I only worried about the here and now. There was no point in worrying about things I no longer had control over.
It was after the new year and I hoped that with it came good things. I prayed that things would work out on their own. I was done with worrying over everything, at least as much as I could.
I had been filled with nerves when I called Zach on Christmas, I wasn’t even sure he’d answer. I called late at night for a reason. I halfway hoped that he wasn’t going to answer, so I could just leave a message. But when he answered, I had wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell him my secret. I wanted him to come find me.
I had told him to come find me. I basically dared him to. I was surprised he hadn’t yet. I think, since it had been almost five months since I left him, it gave him enough time to cool down. When I talked to him, I could hear in his voice that he hated life. He hated me leaving. And he hated himself.
So I told him to grow up, but maybe not in a nice way. He needed to grow up. He needed to take charge and come get me, damn it. Because I knew if he did, I wouldn’t fight him. I would go with him willingly. I wanted to see him so badly, I would have done so without second thought.
I had enough people on my side to make sure that the baby would be mine, no matter what. Maybe if I had given them all time before now, they would be on my side no matter what. With my time away, I found that having time on my own was needed. Needed for me to figure out my life. It helped me more than I ever thought it would.
As the days passed, I kept busy with working at the daycare and keeping an eye on Catrina when Krissy had to work late a few nights a month. I didn’t mind at all. I enjoyed it.
Taylor and I got along well, and I had told him that I wished he’d have gotten me as a kid instead of where I ended up. He had looked dumbfounded, then grunted something about not being sure what I was talking about.
He didn’t take compliments very well. Neither did I most days.
We were more alike than either one of us had ever thought.
Today, since I wasn’t needed at the daycare, I sat in the bedroom. I was thinking about how to fit a small crib in here, because there were only a few months left before the baby would be arriving. Later today, I’d be finding out the gender, and I was excited. I couldn’t wait to know what I was having.
It seemed like it wasn’t all that long ago when I felt its first kicks from inside of me. I cherished each moment I got with this little one. Taylor was a bit freaked out at the fact that I had forcibly laid his hand on my growing stomach to feel that first night I felt the kicks. His look was filled with disgust before turning to awe, which he had quickly tried to hide.
I didn’t plan to buy much, since I wasn’t sure when Zach would show up. But I wanted to buy a few things here and there. Every time I went to the store, I always had to stop and look at all the cute little baby items. It was so tempting to buy things already. Well, I had bought a few soft gender-neutral blankets that were soft and fuzzy.
So far, I refused to think of what I was going to name the baby. I wanted Zach to help, even if he didn’t want to. Only time would tell. And I had more than enough time to wait and waste away.
“Hey, Vids,” Taylor said, popping his head around the corner.
“Uh, hey. Shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked, turning to face him.
“A short day,” he shrugged. I wasn’t sure I believed him, as he worked at some construction site as a security guard.
“Shorter than normal,” I stated.
“Well,” he trailed off, not sure what to say. “I may have asked to get off early. I wanted to get you something.”
“You didn’t need to do that,” I said. What could he have possibly gotten me?
“I wanted to,” he said. “It’s in the living room.”
Giving him a questioning look, I got up from the bed and made my way to the living room. There, I found a boxed bassinet with a number of bags on the top.
“What? When?” I asked, not able to tear my eyes away from it.
“Today,” he said sheepishly. “I know you need it, and I wasn’t sure if you’d ever go get it yourself. So yeah. I just got it. I hope that’s okay.” He ran a hand across his hair, trying to hide his nerves.
“Thank you,” I said, flinging my arms around him in a hug. I didn’t know how else to thank him, even though he wasn’t that much of a touchy-feely person.
He returned the hug awkwardly.
“I’ll help put it together and all that,” he said once I released him. “It should fit in the room without a problem. There’s blankets and other stuff you’ll need, too.”
“Thank you. You really didn’t need to, you know,” I said as I started to look through the bags.
“I wanted to. I can spoil my family how I want to,” he grunted before heading to the kitchen.
I let him be as I sorted through the bags. There were soft fleece blankets, receiving blankets, and some cute little socks. Even a matching hat. It was all adorable and I couldn’t wait to use them.
“I was going to wait till after your appointment, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to get the stuff now,” Taylor said, taking a seat at the table with a cup of coffee.
“I love it. Thank you,” I smiled his way. My hair fell over my shoulder as I sat one of the bags onto the floor.
“Don’t forget you’ll have to call Julia and Carlos after the appointment,” Taylor reminded me.
“I’m sure one of them will be calling before I ever get done,” I laughed.
“Possibly,” he agreed with an amused laugh.
Julia had made sure to give me a call almost weekly, beating her husband to it most of the time. I didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to talk to her. It felt like I needed that connection more than I had realized. She kept me up to date on most of the things that she could throughout the weeks. So far, it didn’t seem like Zach was looking for me. I wasn’t sure if he was just trying to keep it all quiet, or if he was just planning for the right moment.
Whatever he was doing, I was waiting for him.
~oOo~
I lay on the table, the cold gel smeared across my stomach. I think Taylor was more nervous than I was currently. He sat stiffly in the chair beside me, hands clasped too tightly in his lap.
“You are finding out the gender, correct?” the tech asked as she grabbed the wand to look inside of my belly.
“Yes,” I answered, watching on the screen above as she used the wand to begin to take measurements.
“Perfect,” she smiled. “Hopefully the little one will corporate so we can get a good look. So far, everything looks like it’s developing perfectly. On the small side, but not so much that it’s anything to be concerned about.”
She took measurements of everything that had to do with the baby. She walked me through what each part was, not at all concerned about any of it.
“Alright,” she said. “It looks like it’s a boy!”
“A boy?” Taylor gulped. “You sure?”
“Positive,” she smiled. “I have some pictures being printed off for you to keep, and if there are any concerns, your doctor will call you within twenty-four hours. But I see no reason to worry.”
“Thank you,” I said as I cleared away the goop that covered my rounding belly with the oversized hand towel that she handed me.
“Of course,” she smiled.
It hadn’t taken long to get changed and cleaned up before heading back to the truck. Of course, we stopped for ice cream, as per usual.
I was having a baby boy. I had no idea what Zach would do once he found out, but I’d do anything in my power to make sure that this baby was loved as much as possible.