Chapter 24
Zachariah
For the next two days, I followed Avidya. I followed her to the store, the park, and even to the post office once with a box of something that was being mailed out. I stayed out of sight, not that she seemed to know, nor think, she was being followed.
Avidya had hardly changed from the girl I fell in love with. I was still trying to process the idea that she had a child.
My child.
I knew that was why she left. I just couldn’t figure out why. For so long? And alone? Did she fear what I would do as I had told her I would if she told me she was pregnant? Was that why she ran?
I know I said things that I may not have meant, but surely Avidya would have would have told me. She should have given me a chance.
I wasn’t thrilled with my family at the moment, since they had kept this huge secret from me for a full nine months. I had no idea how everyone kept it from me. Would they have continued to do so for years?
It was something I wouldn't put past them.
My father was a master at keeping secrets, but anyone else would have surely told me. Or maybe I just hadn’t picked up on the fact that clues were dropped all along the way.
When I called Melio this morning, since he was the only one of my family members I was willing to talk to without blowing up, I told him to let everyone know I’d be back sometime soon. They probably would know where I went to, and none of them would do a thing to stop me now. Not if they knew what was right.
It was bad enough that they hid behind their secrets, all because they thought it was the best thing to do at the time. I knew I’d have a few choice words with all of them when I got back. That could be counted on.
Now, I just had to figure out how to announce my presence to my wife. I had no idea how she’d take it. Would she ignore me?
I wouldn’t allow that to happen. She was welcome to try, but I would not be leaving without her. I’d face her, toe to toe, to make sure that she knew that I loved her more than life, and that I couldn’t live without her.
I couldn’t return without her beside me. I couldn’t fucking live without her, and she had to see that.
She couldn’t stay here, and I couldn’t leave her.
I knew there would be a few choice words between us, most likely more on my part than anything else. I would get my say in, and she better listen to me when I did. I’d tie her to a chair to make her listen if it came to that.
When Travis called on his way back just a week ago, I wasn’t sure what I would be finding here. I didn’t know for sure what made him even come here at first. Now I understood. Everything became clear now.
Still didn’t change my anger and the situation, though. Nothing would.
“Keep an open mind,” he stated over the phone. “And don’t jump to conclusions.”
Yeah right.
“How long has she been there?” I asked after he gave me the town name. I knew he had known where my wife went to for months, and just now told me her location. A few months too late in my opinion.
“Long enough,” he answered. “So you can’t just go in and drag her away. People would notice if she just up and left without a word.”
“Who says I’d do that?” I huffed, running a hand down my face.
“I know you,” Travis laughed in a mumbled way. “Who even knows if she wants to come back to that kind of life. She’s not the same girl from a year ago. She knows what she wants, and she’ll stop at nothing to make sure she gets to keep what she’s worked so hard to achieve.”
He paused, thinking about how to say what he needed to get out. I wanted to demand answers to so many questions.
“I know you want her back with you, by your side. She should be, but give her a chance to explain her side of things. She deserves a choice in her life. And this one you cannot take away again. She’d hate you if you tried to do that and force her to go back with you.”
“As long as she’ll listen to me, too,” I sighed. I knew he was right; didn’t mean I had to like it.
“She likes to hang out at the main park on nice sunny days with a friend. She won’t be hard to find,” Travis said before ending the call.
Avidya wasn’t hard to find, just like Travis had stated. It was almost too easy. That made me question myself was if I should have come sooner. Should I have demanded to know her location sooner?
Wait.
I did demand to know. Constantly.
No one told me anything!
Therefore, for two days, I followed her. Maybe I did it for my own selfish reasons. Maybe I did it because I had to make sure that no other man was in her life.
Whatever the reason, I followed her. I followed her until I had had an idea about what to do.
I was still unsure of how to go about it, even as I sat on the front step, waiting for her to appear. My elbows were braced on the top of my knees as I waited. I knew it was only a few more minutes before she would come home as I had left the park as Avidya buckled our baby into the car. I knew it would give me enough time to gather my mental strength to face my wife.
It was maybe ten minutes later when the redhaired woman pulled up to the house next door. I kept my head down in my hands as I heard the car doors open and then close.
“Will you be okay?” I heard the redhead say, her concerned voice carrying my way.
I didn’t catch a reply, but I assumed that Avidya nodded or gave some sort of acknowledgement. A few moments later, I heard soft, light footsteps coming my way. I kept my posture, hiding my face and fears.
What did I have to fear?
Everything.
“Zachariah,” Avidya sighed, her voice just above a whisper. She didn’t sound surprised to see me here. She didn’t seem happy, either. She almost sounded like she expected me to be here.
“Hello,” I said, raising my head to see her. She stood maybe a yard away from me with the baby carrier on one arm and what I assumed was a diaper bag in the other. Today, her hair was down past her shoulders with the tips slightly curled. Her green eyes were bright with life, yet tired at the same time.
She stood there, seeming not to know what to say. I could relate. I had so many things I had thought I’d be saying by now, but none of that was coming to mind. I just wanted to pull her into a hug and never let her go.
Screw talking. Screw trying to win my way back into her life.
I just wanted to stare at her forever. She was my sun, my life. She hadn’t changed one bit
“Are you two just going to stare at each other, or are you going to actually talk?” called the neighbor as she made her way to us. “My God!” Her steps grew harder, in a stomping sort of way, as she neared.
“Krissy,” Avidya sighed in warning.
“Don’t,” she barked, turning her blazing eyes to me. “You lay one hand on this girl, and I’ll make your life a living hell, got it?”
“Got it,” I appeased her. I would say that I’d never do such a thing, but yeah, that wouldn’t help matters.
“Don’t go yelling at her, either,” she went on, placing her hands on her hips as she gave me what would be called a ‘mother look.’ “And no dragging her away. You do anything to make her cry, I’ll cut you.”
“Krissy,” Avidya hissed. “I’ll be fine. Now go.”
“I’ll be back in an hour,” she stated before flipping around and marching back to her house.
“Sorry,” Avidya said with a shrug. “She means well.”
“She should,” I said, still not moving from where I sat. “I’ll behave. I just…we need to talk.”
She nodded as she stepped up beside me, setting down the car seat and unlocking the door. Once the door was opened, she picked up the seat and walked in, calling behind her, “Come on in.”
I pushed myself up and entered the house. At first glance, it fit Avidya to a T. Hardly anything personal, but the coloring and simplicity of it all was entirely her.
It even smelled like her to an extent.
“Make yourself at home,” she said, placing the seat on the table and bag next to it. She then started to get the baby out of the seat. I could hear him, or her, grunt as she removed him from the contraption.
I took a seat on the edge of the couch, not sure where to sit, or even what to say now that I knew she wasn’t going to run screaming. I felt out of my element more than ever.
This was not what I was expecting. It completely threw me off.
“I’m surprised,” she mused as she held the baby to her chest, patting its butt. “I’ve expected you to show up for weeks. Figured you must have forgotten all about me.”
“I could never forget you,” I said quietly with a shake of my head. “No one told me anything until recently.”
“I’m sure you know why by now,” she stated, taking a seat farthest from me as possible. My heart hurt at that. I wanted her as close as possible, but understood her need for space. I was sure that once I touched her, even a simple touch, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself.
I already didn’t want to keep my hands to myself. Motherhood suited her very well.
Something I was not expecting.
“For so long, I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t figure out why you would leave me just like that. Without any warning or any explanation. There was no word from you at all,” I stated, my voice growing colder with each word that passed my lips. “I…I didn’t know what to do. Why would you just fucking leave, Avidya? Why?”
“You once said you’d take the choice away from me if I were to end up pregnant,” she said. How could her voice be so calm at this? Had she been thinking about what to say all along if I happened to show up on her doorstep just as I had? “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t just sit back and let you kill my child because you didn’t want to be a father. So I did the only thing I could do.”
“So you just left? Just like that? You could have just talked to me about it. I would have listened!” I nearly yelled. I stood up in my fit of anger, running my hands over my face.
“I knew you wouldn’t listen if I even tried, Zach,” she said with a sad shake of her head. “I saw how you froze up at the mention of any child that we would have ever had. That right there gave me all the information I needed. I didn’t have a choice. Not when it came to what I want out of life.”
“You did!” I seethed, slapping my hands against my legs. “You had every choice you ever needed.”
“Not when it came to this,” she stated without a beat. “That choice was taken away. Everyone knew that having a child was not in your plans. Even your own parents knew that!”
“Is it even mine?” I huffed out. As the words passed my lips, I regretted them. I saw how Avidya’s face paled at my question and I wanted to die for even asking such a shitty thing.
“How could you even ask me something like that?” Avidya asked, appalled. “Of course, he’s yours.”
I was a total dick. I knew I shouldn’t be saying things out of anger, as it was what got us into such a situation to begin with.
“If the only reason you showed up was to insult me like that, you may as well go back,” she went on, pointing at the door in the process. “I will never let you talk to me like that. Nor to our son. That right there is another reason why I left.”
“Oh? You have a list of reasons?” I asked on a laugh.
“Do I need a list?” she responded, her voice hard and cold. “It’s bad enough you hate children. It’s sick that you wanted me to have an abortion. It was horrible that I had to leave you so I could keep the one thing I ever wanted.”
“I gave you everything you asked for,” I said, my voice hard to match hers.
“I never asked for anything but to keep a child that we made,” she stated in fury. “It was the only thing I wanted, and you had it all planned out. You already knew what you would do to make sure no baby would be born from my body.”
As her voice rose in volume, the baby she still held began to cry and squirm in her arms. His cry turned into more of a demanding wail by the second and Avidya’s burning glare could have made me a pile of ashes right where I sat.
I deserved her anger and much more. I hadn’t come here to fight with her, only to prove that I could be the man that I wanted to be.
I had my work cut out for me, and now I wasn’t so sure I would get my wife back.